Hmm, haven't whined in a bit. Here goes:
- STILL not over girl-I-almost-dated. I feel like I should really be over this by now, dammit. I don't like being reminded of her, seeing her, or anything. I decided to try going a month without interacting with her in any way (she's fairly prominent in our group), and I'm 2 weeks in. It's not like it's hard, it's just... a thing I'm doing. Hopefully it'll help me forget her.
- In other news, after a cray night of drinking (where, surprisingly, nothing cray actually happened), I had a weird mental shift about how I act and who I am. Among other things, this means that when I do drink, I'm not drinking so hard; I'm less flirty in general (I'm kind of shameless); I'm going a month without posting anything on any social media (It strikes me as "seeking attention" somehow right now); and I'm trying to make sure I see myself as someone I want to be.
- Slightly related to above, I'm swearing off girls for right now. I've gotten decent female attention since my break up 10 months ago (damn that's been a while), but aside from girl-I-almost-dated above, none of it has really mattered and definitely hasn't made me happy. So right now I'm just kind of focusing on me. Trying to, anyhow.
It's really cheesy, but I read a "motivational image" that was like:
Creating a Day Worth Living:
- Get Up Early
- Expresss Gratitude for What You Have
- Do Something Productive
- Do Something Fun
- Do Something for Someone Else
- Get Some Sunlight
- Exercise
- Make Someone Smile
- Compliment Someone or Express Gratitude
- Learn or Do Something New
Again, cheesy, but each day I get up and make a quick list of things to do to fulfill each thing (or at least ones you can do, not stuff like "express gratitude" or make "someone smile"). So far it's actually helping a bit. I've made an effort to exercise at least 20-30 minutes each day, and results are good. I make sure to do at LEAST one productive thing per day, like "that thing you really need to fix but can't be bothered"; I make sure to set aside time to just do it. Getting something you needed to do done each day surprisingly makes you feel less shitty! Do Something Fun is to make sure you get some you time and actually play. Do something for someone else makes sure you stay social and apparent as a helpful person. Get some sunlight, well, just gets you out! I usually do this in the form of a relaxing drive or a walk. Complimenting / Expressing gratitude is a little harder because if you come out of nowhere it's seen as weird, but it's easy enough to slip in. People respond well to you noticing something they did with their hair, clothes, or whatever. As for learning or doing something new, it's a little harder to just pick something, but so far it's going okay.
I struggle with stagnation and depression as a result, so making steps to improve it! Woo!