A: "Give me all your bacon!"That's what the gun is for.
B: "Never!"
[NASTY GUNFIGHT ERUPTS]
--Patrick
A: "Give me all your bacon!"That's what the gun is for.
Urban Shmurban, haven't you ever heard of Babe 2: Pig in the City?Well, I was thinking one would go out and slaughter a pig, but I suppose that's not an option in an urban area.
I don't remember that movie ending in bacon.Urban Shmurban, haven't you ever heard of Babe 2: Pig in the City?
...I'll never look at shopping cart handles the same way again.To be fair, you share the same air and touch the same things as other people A LOT more often than you need a condom.
They're a lot grosser than you'd think....I'll never look at shopping cart handles the same way again.
--Patrick
I already thought they were pretty gross, but I never expected to need a condom to use one.They're a lot grosser than you'd think.
I WANTED to click disagree....To be fair, you share the same air and touch the same things as other people A LOT more often than you need a condom.
Needs more bacon.
Those are indeed very bad cats.
Okay, I'm literally crying over this one.Comes a point you stop giving a shit about whether the story is real or not and you just enjoy the tale.
More like it saved their marriage.Comes a point you stop giving a shit about whether the story is real or not and you just enjoy the tale.
There was an old 3.5 book of some sort that had a critical hit random table and a critical miss random table. We decided to try using it. It resulted in our fighter throwing his incredibly expensive and powerful axe directly into lava while we were fighting a dragon, our ranger spraining his ankle at least once a fight and me, the wizard, usually blasting a ray spell into whoever was behind me. You know what's awesome, disintegrating the team rogue. After a few sessions we decided that since we rolled 1's about 10 times as often as we rolled 20s that these tables just weren't for us.A very long time ago, in an AD&D campaign, we were fighting fairly low level undead - zombies, probably. Over the course of one round, almost everyone in the party fumbled and threw their weapon and hit another party member with it. My fighter threw his two-handed sword and impaled the fighter-mage in the thigh with it. She responded by pulling it out and throwing it at me like a spear, missing and hitting the dwarven fighter in the shoulder. Orvarg the Dwarf then swung his halberd at a zombie, and fumbled, whacking our cleric with it on the backswing. Our cleric then fumbled attempting to heal the sword injury to Orvarg, wound up yanking the sword free so hard he stabbed my fighter with it.
This was not the worst group fumble we ever had.
That would be the time we were attempted to drive a starship out of spacedock and wound up in an alternate universe.
I hope that lucky NPC got a thorough lesson on the dangers of drinking water that has the wrong hydrogen bond angle.Another quick D&D story. My friends and I were making our way through a desert area, trying to avoid contact with an enemy faction. We came upon an oasis and were about to refill waterskins and such when we were approached by a guard. When asked who we were and what we were doing there, one of my friends immediately piped up stating, "We're water salesmen! Did you know there are many different types of water?" He then proceeded to roll a 2 on his bluff check. GM rolled for his NPC and got a 1. He stared at it for about a minute and then looked up at us saying, "Really? Do tell me more!"