I prefer embarrassing comments, to blunt honest insults dressed as jokes. Oh dear lord how am I going to survive this Christmas, DO IT FOR THE ITUNES GIFT CARDS MICK!
The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
fade
Staff member
This is a good one: Amazon's new pack-bots ship a farmer part of the Amazon conveyor belt instead of a book.
http://gizmodo.com/amazon-sent-this-customer-a-piece-of-its-conveyor-belt-1666960149
http://gizmodo.com/amazon-sent-this-customer-a-piece-of-its-conveyor-belt-1666960149
BananaHands
Staff member
So I'm dating this girl. Kind of.
You know, mid-twenties in LA - dating is a complicated thing especially since I just move out here and I met her a week or two after the move and she just got out of a terrible relationship like 6 months ago (before she moved out here too). There's also the fact that we want to focus on our careers and not get too wrapped up into each other. You know, take it slow.
But of course we hang out all the time. The trouble is that we're going to each other's company parties and I have no idea what to introduce her as. I mean, these are going to be high level people and I don't know if it'll come off as immature if I'm like "Oh, this is my friend (x)"? I'm trying to network here, ya dig?
You know, mid-twenties in LA - dating is a complicated thing especially since I just move out here and I met her a week or two after the move and she just got out of a terrible relationship like 6 months ago (before she moved out here too). There's also the fact that we want to focus on our careers and not get too wrapped up into each other. You know, take it slow.
But of course we hang out all the time. The trouble is that we're going to each other's company parties and I have no idea what to introduce her as. I mean, these are going to be high level people and I don't know if it'll come off as immature if I'm like "Oh, this is my friend (x)"? I'm trying to network here, ya dig?
She has a name, use it.
"This is xxx."
And then, if:
"Oh, is she your girlfriend/wife/concubine?"
"No, she's just xxx."
You don't have to say "xxx, my yyy" at all. She doesn't need a title. If you absolutely MUST use a title, try "she's my guest."
If you're (both) trying to network, then you want to be remembered as "xxx," not as "so-n-so's yyy."
--Patrick
To put this as plain as I can, if you guys aren't in an actual, physical relationship, you should just play up what she does. "Oh, she's this great XXXX I know."
If you don't feel comfortable enough to do that or to have an actual relationship, you should just tell her not to come.
If you don't feel comfortable enough to do that or to have an actual relationship, you should just tell her not to come.
BananaHands
Staff member
10/10 advice.
Eh. I'm not ready to have that conversation yet. I don't want to force her into a relationship, as I'm totally fine with our situation as it is and I know she went through hell with her last dude (coincidently the dude tried sleeping with my last roommate in chicago o.o).
I don't mean ask her what your actual relationship status is, but ask her you want to present each other at your respective company parties.
GasBandit
Staff member
Hey everybody! Guess what day it is!
That's right... it's FRIDAAAAAAAAY!
(yes it's the same thing as the last three times)
That's right... it's FRIDAAAAAAAAY!
(yes it's the same thing as the last three times)
That's a little more than a coincidence, no?
BananaHands
Staff member
A little more I guess.
I mean, we didn't know each other until I moved out here and met her - it just turned out that she was from Chicago and was in a long-term relationship that tried to sleep with my roommate on a boat.
Feel like I have to share this very WTF story that happened to me in lab yesterday. NSFW, so it is spoilered.
So as part of my research we have a mouse breeding colony. We have several strains of genetically engineered (transgenic) mice that we breed together to have enough for our experiments. This breeding typically works by having one male mouse and one female mouse in a cage and leaving them together for several weeks; the male impregnates the female, the female gives birth, the male impregnates her immediately after she gives birth, etc. This cuts down on the amount of time it takes to generate litters of mice.
Yesterday I got a call from a veterinary technician monitoring our animals. To make a long story short...the male attempted intercourse with one of his 1.5-week-old pups. He was successful in the sense that he was able to achieve penetration, but unsuccessful in the sense that he was unable to disengage. So he was dragging his pup around by his penis. Then the pup died. This was a...unique case to deal with. Most of the time you have to deal with co-habitating males fighting, or weaning babies, or the occasional health issues (we had one hydrocephalic mouse, for instance). First time myself or any of the techs had to deal with adult mice wielding their offspring like a dick-club.
Yesterday I got a call from a veterinary technician monitoring our animals. To make a long story short...the male attempted intercourse with one of his 1.5-week-old pups. He was successful in the sense that he was able to achieve penetration, but unsuccessful in the sense that he was unable to disengage. So he was dragging his pup around by his penis. Then the pup died. This was a...unique case to deal with. Most of the time you have to deal with co-habitating males fighting, or weaning babies, or the occasional health issues (we had one hydrocephalic mouse, for instance). First time myself or any of the techs had to deal with adult mice wielding their offspring like a dick-club.
It was... Very mature for its age?
I... I don't know whether to laugh or be horrified... Would it be inappropriate to do both?
That was pretty much my reaction as well. The vet tech was trying to tell me all this with a straight face while I was trying to not let a "the FUCK!?" face show or start laughing.
I loved that Ben Affleck pointed this sort of thing out in Argo with how real Canadians mispronounce Toronto.
I like learning about shibboleths. I figure if I learn all of them, I will effortlessly blend in anywhere.
Cajungal
Staff member
None taken, that's totally how we say it.
fade
Staff member
We had our company Christmas party, and it was pretty entertaining. We have this computer programmer who is a plus-sized gentleman. He's a good guy with a solid Texas accent. Anyway, he introduces his wife. Thin, attractive, friendly. And the terrible 12 year old in me couldn't help but think of every sitcom couple ever. "Peter!", "Homie!", "Jackie!"
I bought a TV on Cyber Monday, because my current big TV is making noises like the sound is about to fail. So I had it shipped to the store instead of my house, because I don't want it stolen. So I waste my lunch hour waiting to pick it up. When the lady finally came out with the box... She asked me if this is what I ordered. I look and the box is covered in photos of beautiful women. I first felt like saying "I don't remember buying a box of women."
GasBandit
Staff member
You can get them by the box now?!
I can only find them in binders.
GasBandit
Staff member
GasBandit
Staff member
TGI Friday's is flying around mistletoe on a drone to try to get its customers to kiss.
They just had their first "accidentally crashed into somebody's face" moment.
They just had their first "accidentally crashed into somebody's face" moment.