Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!

Squidleybits · Mar 24, 2015

I went to meet my parents today to go get my kids and got stuck in a snow bank. I had to dig my way out. With my hand injuries and back/neck issues it was a hot mess. I feel like I've been dragged behind a truck. I have a hot date with some muscle relaxants later.

And while I was feeling so awesome I got to the restaurant first with the stuffed bear that the kids asked me to bring. The hostess looks at me and says "So, a table for two then?"

Bubble181 · Mar 24, 2015

Squidleybits said:
[...] a hot mess [...] a hot date [...] relaxants [...] I was feeling so awesome [...] restaurant[...] a table for two [...]

Just skimming, I'm tired, but shouldn't this be in the Win thread for you and HCGLNS :unibrow:

?

Kidding, kidding, aww

Squidleybits · Mar 24, 2015

Dude, the hostess thought I brought a stuffed bear to lunch as my date. That might hurt worse than my back!

HCGLNS · Mar 24, 2015

Sounds like karma for eating my pudding.

Squidleybits · Mar 24, 2015

Why are the Pringles gone?

Emrys · Mar 24, 2015

Bubble181 said:
Wait, I thought the horde of beastlings was what we built The Wall to keep out, there in the Northern Wastes?

You say that as if being attacked by a doomweasel was a bad thing.

Bubble181 · Mar 25, 2015

Emrys said:
You say that as if being attacked by a doomweasel was a bad thing.

Not if they're yours, obviously.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

I accidentally fell asleep on the couch last night.

Sitting up.

My back hurts. It hurts so much when I breathe, or move, or even fart.

I need someone to walk on my back SO BAD.

HCGLNS · Mar 25, 2015

Get that nineteen year old intern with the ass you can bounce a quarter off to help you.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

HCGLNS said:
Get that nineteen year old intern with the ass you can bounce a quarter off to help you.

Dude, that was last year, she's long gone.
Plus, pretty sure HR would frown on me asking any female employees half my age for anything of that sort.

HCGLNS · Mar 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
Dude, that was last year, she's long gone.
Plus, pretty sure HR would frown on me asking any female employees half my age for anything of that sort.

So what you're really saying is that you don't have a back problem, but staffing issues.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

HCGLNS said:
So what you're really saying is that you don't have a back problem, but staffing issues.

More like my employers have an unsatisfactory business plan, in that we are not a brothel.

Terrik · Mar 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
More like my employers have an unsatisfactory business plan, in that we are not a brothel.

Maybe, but you run a simulation of one in your free time

HCGLNS · Mar 25, 2015

Get the operations director to fix that and Bobs your uncle.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

Terrik said:
Maybe, but you run a simulation of one in your free time

Not really, no money is changing hands there

[DOUBLEPOST=1427300075,1427300026][/DOUBLEPOST]

HCGLNS said:
Get the operations director to fix that and Bobs your uncle.

I'M the operations director! But there's still two big hurdles in the form of the General Manager and the Owner/President.

Ravenpoe · Mar 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
Not really, no money is changing hands there

Ok, so you're running a simulation of a very unprofitable brothel.

Bubble181 · Mar 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
I accidentally fell asleep on the couch last night.

Sitting up.

My back hurts. It hurts so much when I breathe, or move, or even fart.

I need someone to walk on my back SO BAD.

It can't be hard to convince your cat to walk all over you.

Gruebeard · Mar 25, 2015

Unless it's nap time[DOUBLEPOST=1427304519,1427304486][/DOUBLEPOST]... It's always nap time.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

Bubble181 said:
It can't be hard to convince your cat to walk all over you.

The cat has insufficient mass to perform the needed adjustments. I'm considering swinging by the chiropractor I went to when I was in a car wreck years ago, but that'd cost me over 100 bucks just for the one visit.

Bubble181 · Mar 25, 2015

You've got mad money now. Replace cat with cougar. More mass. more effective.

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

Bubble181 said:
You've got mad money now. Replace cat with cougar. More mass. more effective.

"Babou you fox-eared asshole!"

Tinwhistler · Mar 25, 2015

Bubble181 said:
You've got mad money now. Replace cat with cougar. More mass. more effective.

And to bring us back on topic with a whine: Why weren't cougars a thing when I was young?

Squidleybits · Mar 25, 2015

Follow up whine: my back is so sore from yesterday that I can hardly move. Sucks!!!

PatrThom · Mar 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
swinging by the chiropractor

You know you could try just the swinging part. Or at least a flexed arm hang.

--Patrick

GasBandit · Mar 25, 2015

@Bubble181 : it was an Archer reference.

GasBandit · Mar 26, 2015

Well, that was great. Guess who got home from work, flopped onto the couch, and immediately fell asleep for 5 hours? Oigh, this is going to murder my circadian rhythm.

PatrThom · Mar 26, 2015

GasBandit said:
Well, that was great. Guess who got home from work, flopped onto the couch, and immediately fell asleep for 5 hours? Oigh, this is going to murder my circadian rhythm.

It was only 2hrs for me.
Everything else is the same, though.

--Patrick

jwhouk · Mar 26, 2015

Answer: $750.

"What is it going to cost to fix your wife's car, Joe?"

DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING

Squidleybits · Mar 26, 2015

In addition to my sore back and neck from the other day, I'm getting sick

My throat is sore and swelling and my voice is cracking/breaking. I sound ridiculous. Grrrrr. Or I guess Waaaah, seeing as I posted it here.

fade · Mar 26, 2015

The wheel on my Mini is bent, thanks to low profile tires and Houston's refusals to fix giant craters in major roadways. Now I get a healthy wobble at 48 MPH.

jwhouk · Mar 26, 2015

At least you can dodge the craters. Imagine if the whole roadway is buckled.

This doesn't have anything to do with previous whine, btw. Wife's car is 10 years old and a Sebring.

HCGLNS · Mar 27, 2015

There is a cake missing from my chocolate cake supply.

I may have to start killing you all if this trend continues.

Bubble181 · Mar 27, 2015

HCGLNS said:
There is a cake missing from my chocolate cake supply.

I may have to start killing you all if this trend continues.

I blame it on Jesse Eisenberg.

Squidleybits · Mar 27, 2015

HCGLNS said:
There is a cake missing from my chocolate cake supply.

I may have to start killing you all if this trend continues.

You have a chocolate cake supply??

drawn_inward · Mar 27, 2015

Squidleybits said:
You have a chocolate cake supply??

My buddy had a literal "Little Debbie Snack Cake" drawer in our dorm room. His mom always kept it stocked with various boxes of treats. So, I can picture a cake supply.