The Dream Thread

Last night I dreamed I was in pursuit of an elusive animal: the titweasel. That's right. The titweasel. It's a weasel with human breasts. Specifically it is bald on the chest region with full, Caucasian boobs. There was even a titweasel society complete with a cartoon mascot.
Go on.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I dreamed I was playing a new MMO (which looked suspiciously like a 3rd person version of original Everquest), and then all of a sudden somebody in game /shouted "Fuck you, GasBandit, and your clownclothes brothel!" And I'm all, "what the hell?" And then I look at the house I own in game and the NPCs that live and work there (butler, merchant, etc) apparently started a brothel in a back room when I wasn't looking. But they only allowed other NPCs to patronize it, and I guess that's what pissed off the guy who shouted.

And just as an aside, I had never before heard the word "clownclothes" used as an epithet, or even an adjective, or really in any way at all. Usually when referring to what clowns wear, I'd have said "clown costume." I guess my brain wanted to say "clownshoes" but got overly creative.
 
Three terrible men were on a cross country trip. The are terrible in the sense that everyone on Seinfeld is terrible, self-absorbed, needy, and they were also cowards. They were responsible for traveling with a small boy 8-12 years old. He too was terrible, but cruel, violent, and he was a thief. Every time they stopped the kid stole something, or hit and bullied on of the men. Most of the comedy of the dream came from the three men trying to ditch the evil kid, that all the by-standers just saw as three men shirking their responsibilities to a young, innocent child.

When they finally make their break the kid chased them down in a muscle car that he had just stolen. Then they start driving down into a lush canyon, and the sound track starts... It was a gospel song sung in multiple verses by: Elvis, The Clash, James Brown, Patti La Belle. It seemed like it was written and also preformed by Bob Dylan and Ray Wylie Hubbard.

Then suddenly I am driving the car down that green canyon. I am going through some caves and come out on a suspension bridge that looks to be a mile long, two lanes, a wooden deck, with a flood in the canyon that comes up close to the bottom of the bridge. Once I got half way across the flood waters cover the bridge by a foot. I drove through some shallower water on the bridge, but when it got deeper I crossed onto the opposite lane. Of course there was on coming traffic each time I got into the other lane.

When I came out of the cave on the other side, I was at some tent festival where the band above was just wrapping up the song that was playing... the end.
 
I had a dream last night after hanging out with some married friends who are expecting a child that I was in a bubbly bathtub, spooning her and trying to talk her out of cheating on her husband with me until we both decided that a BJ wasn't cheating. She was VERY pregnant in the dream.

Dr. Freud, WHAT THE FUCK?
 
My take is that it sounds like you had a good time hanging out with your friends, you got to relax, and maybe you feel comfortable talking to his wife about subjects that you normally would keep to yourself (or you could see her being a confidant in the future).


Or maybe you just want to bone her once she's further along. j/k
 
I had a dream last night after hanging out with some married friends who are expecting a child that I was in a bubbly bathtub, spooning her and trying to talk her out of cheating on her husband with me until we both decided that a BJ wasn't cheating. She was VERY pregnant in the dream.

Dr. Freud, WHAT THE FUCK?
At first hurried glance, I thought it said "Dr. Dre," and I was imagining a very different scenario.

--Patrick
 
I had a dream last night after hanging out with some married friends who are expecting a child that I was in a bubbly bathtub, spooning her and trying to talk her out of cheating on her husband with me until we both decided that a BJ wasn't cheating. She was VERY pregnant in the dream.

Dr. Freud, WHAT THE FUCK?

Well im sure Freud would just explain to you that you're actually their time displaced baby, and you're just experiencing normal Oedipal feelings...


Also, the bathtub is clearly a penis...

...

Or maybe you just need to get laid... whatever.[DOUBLEPOST=1431017148,1431017112][/DOUBLEPOST]
Or maybe you just want to bone her
FTFY
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I took a nap today after working on HFA2, and dreamed of an action MMORPG with an interesting dynamic - whatever class you were got a unique ability that was automatically shared with the group. The tank class took half damage, and anyone grouped with one also got that benefit. The wizard's shared ability was to deal double damage. The cleric's attacks would briefly stun any common enemy their own level or lower. The rogue's ability was to turn invisible when not attacking or moving. The bard regenerated health and mana. The hybrid melee/caster class would take 20% of the damage dealt as self healing. And so on. So, in addition to your normal abilities, you'd also have all the abilities listed above so long as that class was in your group (and close by). The effect was, the larger and more diverse your group, the more powerful each individual member was, by far.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reminds me of the D2 Power Paladin Party. 8 Paladins, all with different maxed-out auras.

--Patrick
Heh, back in the day, in DAOC, they had to nerf Paladins healing chant/aura. DAOC's group size was 8 players... put 8 Paladins in a group, they all chant heal... individually the heals were small, but together (with a cleric buffing them from outside the group) they were able to largely tackle anything because they could outheal the damage, and the healing also kept aggro on the group. So one group of paladins could basically spearhead the way through any dungeon or RvR keep with dozens of hangers-on following in their wake.
 

fade

Staff member
It started with me asking some unseen force how everyone could occupy such a small point on the surface of the earth but an infinite space inside their heads. They told me we expand outward from the surface and showed me how that became the threads of the Greek fates. It was beautiful the way everyone's threads were tangled and matted. I followed some of them down to their people. Saw some break while I watched. Saw my brother's twisted with a broken cord, which made me sad.
 
Noah woke me up at 4:30 because he had a nightmare. I had a hard time getting back to sleep, but when I finally did:

What I remember is that my two kids were my brother and sister in the dream. I was a teenager, maybe in my early 20s. They were the same ages they are now. A moving truck came and got Lily's stuff, but left ours. Lily told Noah that she was going to go to our new house. Noah was excited and came to tell me about it, but I knew it was a bunch of crap. So I confronted my mom about it. She told me she had to send Lily away because they couldn't pay their taxes. They told her and Noah that Lily was going to our new house so they wouldn't be upset. I was livid.

Now at this point I'm becoming lucid/aware of being asleep because I start fighting with the feeling that my mom has given my daughter away vs. my sister is going away. I began screaming at my mom for being such a callous bitch. She's giving away a child to God knows who because they can't afford the taxes! They can't just take Lily away from me! I'm ugly crying, screaming, trying to physically fight my mom, demanding to know where Lily was being sent to...

And that's when I made myself wake up. I was so shaken by the whole thing that I had to convince myself that the little body in the bedroom across the hallway was really her, really there, and that no one was going to take her.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Last night I had a dream that parasitic worms were crawling around just under the skin on my feet. It was very disturbing. I even tried pulling them out with tweezers, but I could never get one more than halfway out before it would wriggle its way back inside. I woke up feeling like I needed to go to the doctor and just ask for a broad spectrum parasite detection lab or something.
 
Last night I had a dream that parasitic worms were crawling around just under the skin on my feet. It was very disturbing. I even tried pulling them out with tweezers, but I could never get one more than halfway out before it would wriggle its way back inside. I woke up feeling like I needed to go to the doctor and just ask for a broad spectrum parasite detection lab or something.
Oh god. I've had dreams like that, except they're all through my body, and when they poked their heads out, basically my limbs were just coated in a mixture of blood and pus.
 

fade

Staff member
I had a dream that someone was banging on my front door in the middle of the night. I went to see who it was, and I saw children through the peephole. They were shouting, "Let us in! Let us in!" So I started to open the door, and then I got a chill and thought better of it. The door was already partly open and I had to fight against these kids who were incredibly strong. They were all pushing with both hands, saying "Let us in! Let us in!" almost like a chant. Then I woke up. The weird thing is that my cats were both nosing around the front door.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I had a dream that someone was banging on my front door in the middle of the night. I went to see who it was, and I saw children through the peephole. They were shouting, "Let us in! Let us in!" So I started to open the door, and then I got a chill and thought better of it. The door was already partly open and I had to fight against these kids who were incredibly strong. They were all pushing with both hands, saying "Let us in! Let us in!" almost like a chant. Then I woke up. The weird thing is that my cats were both nosing around the front door.
That's just a few green right-brackets away from creepypasta right there.
 

fade

Staff member
I had a dream that I had to kill someone in order to be accepted into some mysterious organization. They assured me he was bad, and showed me evidence. But when I got there, he was just some homeless wino. I couldn't do it, so I just hid him. I told the group I did it, and they called the police, and told me the real test was to avoid capture. They gave me a bluetooth headset that connected me to an adviser. I avoided the cops through the night, but when day came, I was exposed. The adviser told me to stop looking laterally, and look vertically. So I looked down and saw a manhole cover. I opened it and went down, and was surprised to see a clean lit white room full of heavy metal doors.

I tried some of the doors, and most were locked. But one led to a stairwell heading down. I started to walk down, and then looked over the banister, noting that the stairs went down quite some way. I went down and eventually came to a natural cavern with a crack in one wall. I looked through the crack and saw a huge open space lit with an artificial sun. It was almost like I was up on a hillside looking down, because the floor was covered with lush green vegetation, and there were people milling about. Nearby, a man in a hard hat, glasses, and a white shirt and tie spotted me and yelled an alarm. I ran back up. Later, I learned that superheros were all escapees from this underground lab. It gets fuzzy after that. Wish I could remember more.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Aw man, I dreamed of the most epic and engrossing MMO ever, for which I gladly shelled out both full price and a $15/mo subscription fee.

And now I woke up and can barely remember any of it.
 
I had a dream the other night that was good, but so incredibly arrogant and unlikely I can't really share it without sounding like a complete asshole.
 
I had a dream where I was The Doctor. It was the opposite of the Family of Blood episodes. I went to the 80's to rescue a lost companion, who was for some reason stuck in a dilapidated urban school.
 
I had a dream that someone was banging on my front door in the middle of the night. I went to see who it was, and I saw children through the peephole. They were shouting, "Let us in! Let us in!" So I started to open the door, and then I got a chill and thought better of it. The door was already partly open and I had to fight against these kids who were incredibly strong. They were all pushing with both hands, saying "Let us in! Let us in!" almost like a chant. Then I woke up. The weird thing is that my cats were both nosing around the front door.
I once had a dream where a fairy wanted me to come live in fairyland with him. When he talked to me, I felt like I was under some kind of glamour, and couldn't think of anything other than saying yes.

But before I said yes, I woke up to my little brother's cat sitting on my chest with his nose touching mine, hissing.

It was a bit disturbing.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I once had a dream where a fairy wanted me to come live in fairyland with him. When he talked to me, I felt like I was under some kind of glamour, and couldn't think of anything other than saying yes.

But before I said yes, I woke up to my little brother's cat sitting on my chest with his nose touching mine, hissing.

It was a bit disturbing.
That's some Cat's Eye level shit right there.

 

fade

Staff member
I had a dream about clown porn. The male clown took off his clown suit and underneath was an all white clown suit with multicolored chest hair. Then, from his crotch, a long balloon inflated while he stood hands on hips. He tied balls in the end. The female clown made a disappointed face so the male thought for a second, made the aha face. He took off his giant shoes and replaced them with even bigger ones, and the balloon got bigger.

I woke myself up laughing then, but I'll bet if it continued, the female clown's boobs would have honked like a bike horn. And nine months later she would've given birth to 27 full grown, fully clothed little person clowns, tipping their hats to the doctor clown. Then when it was time to cut the cord, the doc would just keep pulling and pulling the cord, which would be made of multicolored handkerchiefs.
 
I had a dream about clown porn. The male clown took off his clown suit and underneath was an all white clown suit with multicolored chest hair. Then, from his crotch, a long balloon inflated while he stood hands on hips. He tied balls in the end. The female clown made a disappointed face so the male thought for a second, made the aha face. He took off his giant shoes and replaced them with even bigger ones, and the balloon got bigger.

I woke myself up laughing then, but I'll bet if it continued, the female clown's boobs would have honked like a bike horn. And nine months later she would've given birth to 27 full grown, fully clothed little person clowns, tipping their hats to the doctor clown. Then when it was time to cut the cord, the doc would just keep pulling and pulling the cord, which would be made of multicolored handkerchiefs.
This is fantastic. Straight out of Spike & Mike.

--Patrick
 
I had a dream that after a vaguely long time of abdominal pain, I went for medical attention... and found out it was pancreatic cancer that had spread to my liver and intestines. With a second mass found in my brain (since I've been having olfactory hallucinations all day - smoke, boiled cabbage like from an egg roll, onion soup). The doctors said that since I had inadequate insurance, and a 5% chance of survival even with aggressive treatment, they weren't going to bother. Then they told me under the Christie Indigent Patient Act, my family was legally obligated to euthanize me, without painkillers.

So yeah, not going back to sleep tonight.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I dreamed I, along with dozens of other evacuees, was on a C-130 that was going to land at an army base I knew to be overrun by zombies. My pleading with the pilot was ignored, the plane landed, sure enough, zombies everywhere. The pilot panicked and fled on foot. I managed to get the doors closed, and with my whole 2 hours of logged flight hours in my lifetime (and in a single engine Mooney for that matter) tried to get the fat, hulking thing back into the air. I badly miscalculated how much runway I had, and didn't clear the power lines as the end of the runway. Woke up. Ouch.
 
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