[Movies] Talk about the last movie you saw 2: Electric Threadaloo

fade

fade

Staff member
There was this movie I saw when I was a kid that made me not want to have kids. It was one of those good ol' horrors that's completely hokey, yet kind of scary at the same time. It was about these kids who had black fingernails, and if they grabbed you around the neck with their arms, you'd burn up and die. Let me see if I can google it....

Ah, ok. It was The Children.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

fade said:
There was this movie I saw when I was a kid that made me not want to have kids. It was one of those good ol' horrors that's completely hokey, yet kind of scary at the same time. It was about these kids who had black fingernails, and if they grabbed you around the neck with their arms, you'd burn up and die. Let me see if I can google it....

Ah, ok. It was The Children.
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I remember that movie scaring the hell out of me when I was younger.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

fade said:
I never got the attraction of any of them, even the first.
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If this were anyone else's post, I'd question it. :)

Kidding aside, for me, there's just the appeal of seeing DINOAURS! I'm the kid who made her parents take her to the Museum of Natural History so much, they should have opened a wing with our name on it. I used to make them read me Danny and the Dinosaur every night before bed. My favorite part of the Times Square Toys R'Us (besides the ferris wheel) was the roaring T-Rex that greets you in the action figure section. For me, there's still that child-like glee of seeing moving, roaring giants that once roamed the Earth, but the safety of not personally being stepped on or eaten.

I don't think they're the best movies ever, but I'm a sucker for dino-chaos. :popcorn:
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Yeah, I mean, I get that, but it was just so overdone by the time the original movie came out. There were already roughly 4 gazillion movies where humans meet dinosaurs and get eaten, and the only new thing the original seemed to bring to the table was CGI.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

fade said:
Yeah, I mean, I get that, but it was just so overdone by the time the original movie came out. There were already roughly 4 gazillion movies where humans meet dinosaurs and get eaten, and the only new thing the original seemed to bring to the table was CGI.
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CGI and some pretty amazing practical effects. In a time period when CGI was new and being horribly overdone so that everything looked awful, Jurassic Park was one of the first movies to use it sparingly, and use it well. It still holds up today, which is something most movie effects from that period can't say.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Ravenpoe said:
CGI and some pretty amazing practical effects. In a time period when CGI was new and being horribly overdone so that everything looked awful, Jurassic Park was one of the first movies to use it sparingly, and use it well. It still holds up today, which is something most movie effects from that period can't say.
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Someone's been reviewing the JP movies on YouTube lately, going through each of the series. They pointed something out I hadn't considered before: the first Jurassic Park used CGI for all of its wide shots and practical effects for close-ups. And it works incredibly well, because if you compare it with, say JP3, where it's almost primarily CGI, you see the close-ups especially don't hold up well.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Welp, Frank was right. Sometimes stupid, and when not stupid, it's mean-spirited.

Worst in the series, which I did not think was possible after Jurassic Park 3, but at least 3 was just stupid. Here, you have nasty scenes from nasty subplots, interchanged with the kind of dialogue you'd get in a quirky indie film trying to subvert character cliches. The tone is all over the place, which makes the mean stuff feel even worse. There's no talent to it.

Heavy spoilers of entire movie
Before the movie was released, I was worried about Chris Pratt and his raptor squad because they seemed pretty cool. The movie doesn't really give you time to get attached, because the moment they're utilized, it turns out the Evilsaurus is actually part raptor, so it talks them into turning against Chris Pratt.

On it being part raptor, I was waiting for it to be revealed that it was part-human, since Bryce Dallas Howard's character makes a point of its genetic make-up being classified.

Oh, that's sub-plot #3, BD Wong's secret freak show. He's apparently doing a lot of genetic experimentation, and we get to see some of that near the end.

Why? That's because of sub-lot #2, the company's secret private military, that wants to use the dinosaurs as military weapons. Vincent D'onofrio is the "war brings out man's greatness" human villain. At one point he brings in a Blackwater-style mercenary group to deal with the rogue dinosaurs and it's here where the movie really falls apart. In one scene, you'll have Chris Pratt stroking a sauropod's head as it lays dying from an Evilsaurus attack. In another, one of the mercs sees a pterosaur outside of his helicopter. He shoots, it screeches, and then plops into the water, played for comedy.

Sub-plot #1 is the damn kids, whose parents are getting a divorce so they're being sent to Jurassic World on vacation so the parents can finish out the divorce in secret. This doesn't matter at all, but we waste plenty of time on it.

The kids are the most inconsistently written, but that's par the course for the movie. In one scene, they watch a character they've interacted with--not just a random passerby--be tormented by pterosaurs, flung between them in the air, one pterosaur tries drowning her a bit, and then both she and the pterosaur get eaten alive by a mososaur. A minute later, they're talking about how cool Chris Pratt is. Compare this to the kids in the first movie, who react realistically to the shit going down around them.

Oh, let's bring up the first movie too, because this one does. I'll ignore the stupidity of leaving parts of the old park lying around despite this major reconstruction. The Tyrannosaur from the first movie is somehow still around, they keep her in a paddock where people can watch her eat through a window. Well, in the climax, Chris Pratt gets his raptors back (except one; she's about to listen to him, but then a random missile attack from the darkness blows her to pieces), but they're not enough to stop the Evilsaurus as it bashes one's spine and then gets another burned alive. So, Bryce Dallas Howard lets the T-rex out, and it really seems like they just brought her back to kill her.

BUT WAIT! One of Chris Pratt's raptors is alive, so the T-rex and Blue team up, force the Evilsaurus to the water, where the mososaur drags it into the water to drown. The T-rex and the raptor nod to each other and go their separate ways ... not sure how that'll work out for the raptor since the rest of the pack is dead, leaving her to be isolated like the Evilsaurus, which started all this problem in the first fucking place.

Divorce, conspiracy, black ops, really awkward indie comedy moments that are just jarring against the scenes bracketing them ... this movie is just a colossal fuck-up.

There's a line said by a character, that "the original park was the real deal" ... thanks for that, movie, you said it just fine. What's funny is, that character sounds like a nitwit when you look at the parks. Jurassic Park had you on a track, maybe seeing the dinosaurs in their cages. Jurassic World has interactive areas, innovative development trails, hell, the main visitor center would make an amazing museum even without live dinosaurs being beyond. Too bad we see barely a snippet of any of that, because also as put by the movie, "dinosaurs don't impress anymore". I have a feeling the movie would be wrong; it's too bad it's more focused on all the shitiness.

I was steeled for the possibility of disappointment, but hoping for a good movie. I could not have been prepared to hate it. I can't remember the last movie I hated; stuff has either been disappointing or bad but I didn't care. This was just awful. I was ready to walk out at one point, but I figured the movie only had 20 minutes to go, so I might as well see the rest.

Can't wait to see Mad Max a second time tomorrow and forget this piece of crap.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Terrik said:
I...kinda liked Jurassic World. Saw it with Jun. *shrugs*
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No, you're not allowed. :p Anyone who crucifies you over liking something is a prick.

Two things this movie did to benefit me: there were free Mad Max one-sheets in the lobby, which I wouldn't have gotten if I'd gone to my usual theater, and I saw the spoiler-heavy trailer for Terminator Genisys, so I don't need to see that movie anymore.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

I loved Jurassic World. There I said it.

Yes, it was a cheesy love nod to the original movie with silly dialogue and a whole lot of jumping around, but I would watch it ten more times just for the final scene. I don't even care.

 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

I would've preferred a cheesy love note to the first movie, because then the dialogue would've made sense in context, but that isn't what I got.

I feel like the people who will get something out of it will be those who can focus on what they liked and ignore the other stuff. For me, there was too much I disliked, and the stuff I did like came in brief snippets, that then immediately cut to more stuff that was either dumb as hell or cruel for no reason. I was totally on board for a loud dumb dinosaur action movie.

Why even have the raptor team if they were going to do it like that?

Though to be honest, I wonder if all the clashing subplots were less the result of a sophomore director who only made a cute romantic comedy before, and more the result of this movie being in development hell for so many years.
 
Frank

Frank

Zero Esc said:
I would've preferred a cheesy love note to the first movie, because then the dialogue would've made sense in context, but that isn't what I got.

I feel like the people who will get something out of it will be those who can focus on what they liked and ignore the other stuff. For me, there was too much I disliked, and the stuff I did like came in brief snippets, that then immediately cut to more stuff that was either dumb as hell or cruel for no reason. I was totally on board for a loud dumb dinosaur action movie.

Why even have the raptor team if they were going to do it like that?

Though to be honest, I wonder if all the clashing subplots were less the result of a sophomore director who only made a cute romantic comedy before, and more the result of this movie being in development hell for so many years.
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I very much think the fact that it was rewritten 12000 times is why the script and film itself was such a God damn mess.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

Zero Esc said:
I would've preferred a cheesy love note to the first movie, because then the dialogue would've made sense in context, but that isn't what I got.
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I don't know what to tell you. The movie was basically the first movie with it's DNA all swirled into a stew, with nods to the first movie at nearly every turn (and even a lot of the second movie). Here I will even list it.
Career driven person who cares nothing about kids, forced to rescue two kids that are not their own, learns the value of family in the process? Check.
Two young siblings related to one of the people that run the park, get caught in the mix of the disaster, but come out of it stronger then ever? Check.
A tough roughneck hunter / soldier with an intense respect for the animalistic nature of Raptors? Check.
Sleazy InGen employee / rogue stealing embryos from the lab during the crisis, killed by the dinosaurs he refused to respect? Check.

Then you have the nods like the shirt on Larry, the Jurassic World gate, the visit to the abandoned visitor center, the goat, one character caressing a sick / dying dinosaur, the use of the flare to lure the T-Rex, kids versus raptors, etc.

I mean the whole climax was basically taking the "villains" of the first movie in a tag team match versus the Idominus Rex, it was designed to push your buttons just like when the T-Rex comes out of nowhere to "save" the main characters in the first film, only pumped up to 11.
Maybe I am just high on endorphins, I don't know, but I was engaged in the movie the whole time, and the ending just made me so giddy I was literally giggling to my wife. I have not felt like that for any summer blockbuster since the first Avengers. You can disagree, it's not going to make me enjoy it any less.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

Zero Esc said:
I never told you not to; I said people were going to enjoy it. You're getting defensive. I attacked the movie; not you. Chill out.
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Am a bit confused, was this directed at me? I was not defensive at all. Cool as a cucumber. Anything I said in my last post was to point out how much of a homage it was to the first movie since you made it sound like you didn't believe that to be true, while also putting down my final feelings on the matter on the table just to make sure it didn't turn into some mud-slinging fight over differences of opinion. I totally respect that you disliked it, and I didn't feel you attacked me for that fact, but if anyone (not specifically you) decides to get into a back and forth text-tussle about it, they will be disappointed since I won't join in. That is why I said "it's not going to make me enjoy it any less." I would rather others not waste their time on me. ;)
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

ScytheRexx said:
Am a bit confused, was this directed at me? I was not defensive at all. Cool as a cucumber. Anything I said in my last post was to point out how much of a homage it was to the first movie since you made it sound like you didn't believe that to be true, while also putting down my final feelings on the matter on the table just to make sure it didn't turn into some mud-slinging fight over differences of opinion. I totally respect that you disliked it, and I didn't feel you attacked me for that fact, but if anyone (not specifically you) decides to get into a back and forth text-tussle about it, they will be disappointed since I won't join in. That is why I said "it's not going to make me enjoy it any less." I would rather others not waste their time on me. ;)
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I apologize then. Mud-slinging fight over differences of opinion is also something I wanted to avoid, which is why I said what I did to Terrik initially. I think you and I both had the same person in mind :p.



Another positive this movie did for me: there was a Chipotle down the block from this theater and I had a fucking great burrito.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

Zero Esc said:
Another positive this movie did for me: there was a Chipotle down the block from this theater and I had a fucking great burrito.
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PFT! Real men eat inside the theater! I had a hamburger with an egg and bacon on it. I was eating three animals at the same time the Idominus Rex was eating park workers, it was pretty nice.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Having slept on it, I can put some stuff into perspective of why I hated Jurassic World.

This wouldn't have fixed all the movie's problems, but I think it would have been improved by cutting out the waste-of-time Vincent D'onofrio subplot, because that felt more like what you'd see in a Carnosaur movie. Carnosaur was made to cash-in on Jurassic Park, and made fast enough that it could be released (I think direct to video) a few days before Jurassic Park to sort-of pretend that Jurassic Park was the rip-off (haha). But the kind of military conspiracy mean-spirited nature was the kind of thing you'd seen in that movie and I think the second (can't remember; didn't see the third or fourth). Obviously it didn't get that dark; in Carnosaur they'd created a disease that impregnated women with dinosaur eggs. It was pretty horrible.

So, Jurassic World was still better than Carnosaur. :thumbsup:

I'm not against them doing a dark Jurassic Park film either. If they'd wanted to go that route, I would've come out of it bewildered and probably needing to see it again to adjust to trailer expectation versus actual movie (like with Godzilla 2015, where the trailers pretend he's the antagonist), but at least that would've been consistent. But that would still clash with "adventure!" and "awkward rom-com" and "we're getting a divorce and it's very important to the plot or character development". The tone was just so all over the place that there's just no way I could enjoy this movie because it's so wildly uneven. I listened to Cinema Snob's midnight screening this morning and he put it into words better than me: "I wouldn't have cared about the stupid stuff if I was having fun, but I wasn't."

I am really glad I didn't bring my wife. She would not have let me hear the end of it and probably wouldn't have let me take her to another movie based solely on my desire to go.[DOUBLEPOST=1434195337,1434194965][/DOUBLEPOST]On the upshot for people who liked it, it seems pretty clear both financially and from certain events in the film that there will be a sequel.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Mad Max: Fury Road is so fucking incredible. I kind of want to go a third time, but I'm gonna try to exercise some restraint.

Nah, fuck it, my wife's on board. We're gonna see it a third time.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

I had a really good time at Jurassic World. For all the clumsiness/inconsistency of some of the human scenes, the dinosaur scenes made up for it. The ending was great and I loved
when Indominus Rex was like, "hey girls, wanna kill all humans?" and the raptors are all "Hell yes!"
 
Dei

Dei

I think Jurassic World needed to pick and flesh out one sub plot, instead of half assing a bazillion of them.

KIDS ARE LOST IN THE PARK OH NO.
WAIT THEY AREN'T LOST THEY GOT BACK ON THEIR OWN

THE MILITARY IS EVIL AND THEY ARE PLANNING SOMETHING BUT OH, NOW THEY ARE ALL GONE

I swear to god, if the parents had said they aren't getting divorced after all...

And I don't think we even need to talk about how fucked up it is that you'd completely hide a divorce from kids that age.

And the part raptor reveal? Did that actually surprise anyone? And why would you let people in that pen BEFORE checking the tracking beacon? Please be more lax about safety please.

I mean upside, Star Lord the raptor tamer at least.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

If nothing had gone wrong, the end result still would've been the kids coming home to surprise divorce, and always associate the vacation with that. Is this just normal for those parents?

"Hey kids, you're going to Disneyworld."
"What? Why? What's happening now?"
"Oh, nothing."
*grandma died, hold wake, funeral, and burial while kids are gone*
"Grandma went off to live on a farm while you were at Disney; she's very happy."

Celt Z said:
I had a really good time at Jurassic World. For all the clumsiness/inconsistency of some of the human scenes, the dinosaur scenes made up for it. The ending was great and I loved
when Indominus Rex was like, "hey girls, wanna kill all humans?" and the raptors are all "Hell yes!"
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"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
 
Frank

Frank

Fresh off the bad taste of Jurassic World, saw Spy and loved the shit out of it. The entire cast was fantastic. There are some jokes that fall flat, but overall it was a good experience. I could watch an entire movie of McCarthy's interactions with Jason Statham or that Swedish security guy.
 
Jay

Jay

Watched Avengers 2 and Jurassic World.

I think I'm done with these superhero movies, at least, anything Avengers related. How many have there been?

My memory serves

Ironman 1 : Very good.
Ironman 2 : Mediocre.
Ironman 3 : Baaaad

Thor 1 : Good
Thor 2 : Baaad

Captain America 1 : Very good.
Captain America 2 : OK

Hulks : Mediocre

Avengers 1 : Mediocre

In the end, I didn't dislike the movie but didn't love it. The fact that Ultron had like 10000 robots built in 24 hours was stupid and the fact 7 guys can successfully fight them off like stormtroopers get boring to me. The movie was good but I'm tired of this shit. Seriously. Halfway into the movie I felt like closing my eyes and catching up to my sleep. Ultron was OK

--------

Jurassic World

I liked it. Didn't love it though. I don't think that feeling of awe will ever come back. I can see other gripes but won't affect me... it's a children's movie... you can clearly see it whenever a human dies, you don't see a whole lot. Children actors were OK but the previous ones were better. Owen/Chris was solid. Dallas was OK but fuck throw in romance plots.... seriously.... we're getting attacked by flying shit... raaaaaaaaaaaaaaandom long kiss. Also... get a tan woman.... they clearly tried to market her sexiness a few times, long shots of her porn style, at some point, lying sexily on the floor where the big dinos faught with a lifted skirt, oiled dirty legs and heels.... seriously... running from dinos for hours in heels?

GTFO.

Raptor parts were cool, too bad it was over so quick.

Evilsaurus was pretty cool, final fight particularly the return of BLU YOUR MA BOAY! was awesome... but seriously fuck that scienties... he's part THIS...THAT.... AND THIS... the fuck is this genetic splicing or making a dinosaur cake? STUPID.

Also, how many times can they wave the Mercedes-Benz logo in my face during this movie? Fuck off. I don't want your shit car and more importantly, when I'll have the means, I won't buy it anyways because cars aren't an investment and your shit of overrate and overpriced. Now fuck off my screen.




Beyond that, solid popcorn movie... but if you hoped for that JP magic, you're shit outta luck.

Good single watch though.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

I heard others criticize the product placement, but for some reason it went right past me.

And though the secret gene splicing thing was stupid, B.D. Wong got the best lines in the movie.

In any case, the advertising certainly did its job. Jurassic World had the biggest global opening weekend to date, at over half a billion dollars, and not even a holiday weekend to stretch it out. So, definitely getting a sequel. I'm not looking to this as moviegoers will see whatever--hell, I contributed. It was Chris Pratt + dinosaurs, I was sold; had it just run with that, I'd have loved it probably. I don't think it will be received like Godzilla 1998, but even if it had, it still would've made a ton of money.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

Zero Esc said:
I heard others criticize the product placement, but for some reason it went right past me.
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As much as I liked the movie, the product placement was incredibly blatant. My favorite was when Claire (Bryce Dallas) was driving back to the command center for reasons I will remain unnamed due to spoilers, and the camera decided to sweep forward right to the Mercedes logo and then up and around to the side of the car like it was a car commercial. I rolled my eyes at that one.

Literally the moment I saw Pratt riding with raptors on a motorcycle, I lost all interest in ever seeing it.
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What? We can't hear you! VROOM!
 
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