Grew up with a grandfather from Alabama. In my grandparents' house there was always a confederate flag. I grew up believing this was a symbol of being from the south. It was part of my heritage and I was told to be proud of it.
Then I started learning what that all really stood for.
The "n-word" was used often by my family from the south and the north, including a great-aunt and great-uncle who gave their dog that name. My grandfather was acquainted with an African-American man he worked with who was nicknamed Sarge. My grandmother wouldn't let Sarge in the house. He was never invited to stay for dinner or even to have a glass of water. I was told Sarge was nice for a n___er man because he knew his place.
I came home from school in 4th grade complaining about a friend who slighted me some how. She had an ethnic, African-American name. My grandmother in no uncertain terms told me that colored people were not my friends. She forbade me to talk to my friend again. I argued with her, but I was a 9 year old who was afraid of being punished for back talk even if I was right.
I was not allowed to date anyone who wasn't white. When I got engaged to Aussie, I was honestly nervous that my dad would freak out on me because he's half Mexican. I was prepared to tell my dad to take a long walk off of a short bridge if that did actually happen. However, when we lived in CA my parents would not go with us to my in-laws' house. They always had some excuse for why, but I am pretty sure it's because my dad's a racist and my mom would rather stay behind than have to listen to him bitching later on.
My dad, who is from a white trash northern family, would jump right on the bandwagon about porch monkeys and spear chuckers eating watermelons and fried chicken while collecting welfare, doing drugs, and having babies by the hundreds just to scam the system for food stamps. A few years ago, he emailed me a picture of Michelle Obama as a chimpanzee. He doesn't see anything wrong with pictures like that, but me telling him that it is racist and insulting means I've lost my sense of humor.
That battle flag was never approved by the Confederate Congress as the official flag. It was not used by confederate vets groups as a symbol of their service. From what I've read, it was basically lost to history until the late 1940's during a presidential campaign. Then the KKK started using it, too. Suddenly it became a symbol of the south.
For me the "stars and bars" is a symbol of hate, stagnation, excuses, and ignorance. My family wanted me to be proud of my southern roots. Instead I am/was disgusted by how they tried to make me believe that racism, bigotry, discrimination, and prejudice should be acceptable.
