Minor victory thread
- Thread starter Thread Necromancer
- Start date
Well, yes. But that doesn't really have anything to do with the other thing.[DOUBLEPOST=1443225315,1443224911][/DOUBLEPOST]
I'm a bit more open online with people I've never met than I have been with family and friends I've known since childhood. Most of them have known me as kind of a ladies man, and that I sometimes swung the other way was a shock to many of them.
This is "Bisexual Awareness Week", and I've been struggling for the last few years about whether or not I should out myself. I figured this was a good week to do it. Some of my friends supporting me now have said the most hateful things about lbgtq people in private to me, back in the day. I thought it was a good idea to let them know that I was one of "those" people too.
Intolerance is tempered with understanding. I thought it was time I did my part.
I've spoilered the post I made on facebook below.
I apologize in advance if this is long and rambling. It's the first time I've ever really tried to put these kinds of things into writing.
Sept 21 was the start of bisexuality awareness week. While the LGBT community has made great strides in terms of acceptance, bisexuals are still marginalized in many ways, including dismissal and derision from many in the heterosexual population, but also, surprisingly, many in the homosexual population.
According to scientific research, bisexuals experience high rates of domestic violence, sexual assault, and suicidal ideation (and attempts).
I am bisexual.
For quite a while, I've thought about 'coming out'. But I've also struggled with the "why" of it.
I'm not a young teen, trying to find my peer group or trying to gain acceptance from my friends and family. I'm married, so I'm not on the market for anyone, male or female. I'm 46 years old. I've had a long time to come to grips with my life, my sexuality, and who I am as a person. I'm not confused, anxious, scared, or give any second thought to that aspect of my life.
So, why even bring it up?
It's not for me. By coming out, I risk alienating long-time friends. I risk condemnation from my family. I even risk alienating fans of my novels, or having them read things into those books that were never intended to be in there.
And there's no real upside. Either my friends and family accept that I'm still the same person I always was, or they don't and I lose them. This is why I've really struggled with this for so long. I risk alienating people I care about, where it would be so much simpler to say nothing at all, since ultimately, coming out doesn't give me any benefits whatsoever.
As you might imagine, the cultural climate is much different today than when I was a young boy growing up in Texas. Being a young man who occasionally is attracted to other young men was not something you could safely admit to at any time back then. Heck, it's not exactly 'safe' today, but we're worlds further along than we were 30 years ago.
The only reason for me to come out at all is for something greater than myself and my own life. I grew up in a much more restrictive era. I have seen first-hand the kind of bigotry, hatred, stigma, and physical violence that can happen in a less tolerant society when people learn that someone is not 'normal'. And I feel that the more regular people that come out, the more tolerant society has become as a result. So that people don't have to hide. So that they don't have to face stigma, pain, and sometimes death.
So, for those of you who have made it this far: Thank you for listening. And if anything I've said today changes the way you feel about me for the worse, and you have problems with it, feel free to hit the un-friend button. I'll be very disappointed, but I'll understand. But if you want to talk about it, I'll be happy to share my feelings. And if you don't, that's fine too
Sept 21 was the start of bisexuality awareness week. While the LGBT community has made great strides in terms of acceptance, bisexuals are still marginalized in many ways, including dismissal and derision from many in the heterosexual population, but also, surprisingly, many in the homosexual population.
According to scientific research, bisexuals experience high rates of domestic violence, sexual assault, and suicidal ideation (and attempts).
I am bisexual.
For quite a while, I've thought about 'coming out'. But I've also struggled with the "why" of it.
I'm not a young teen, trying to find my peer group or trying to gain acceptance from my friends and family. I'm married, so I'm not on the market for anyone, male or female. I'm 46 years old. I've had a long time to come to grips with my life, my sexuality, and who I am as a person. I'm not confused, anxious, scared, or give any second thought to that aspect of my life.
So, why even bring it up?
It's not for me. By coming out, I risk alienating long-time friends. I risk condemnation from my family. I even risk alienating fans of my novels, or having them read things into those books that were never intended to be in there.
And there's no real upside. Either my friends and family accept that I'm still the same person I always was, or they don't and I lose them. This is why I've really struggled with this for so long. I risk alienating people I care about, where it would be so much simpler to say nothing at all, since ultimately, coming out doesn't give me any benefits whatsoever.
As you might imagine, the cultural climate is much different today than when I was a young boy growing up in Texas. Being a young man who occasionally is attracted to other young men was not something you could safely admit to at any time back then. Heck, it's not exactly 'safe' today, but we're worlds further along than we were 30 years ago.
The only reason for me to come out at all is for something greater than myself and my own life. I grew up in a much more restrictive era. I have seen first-hand the kind of bigotry, hatred, stigma, and physical violence that can happen in a less tolerant society when people learn that someone is not 'normal'. And I feel that the more regular people that come out, the more tolerant society has become as a result. So that people don't have to hide. So that they don't have to face stigma, pain, and sometimes death.
So, for those of you who have made it this far: Thank you for listening. And if anything I've said today changes the way you feel about me for the worse, and you have problems with it, feel free to hit the un-friend button. I'll be very disappointed, but I'll understand. But if you want to talk about it, I'll be happy to share my feelings. And if you don't, that's fine too
Cajungal
Staff member
Feeling pride in my work again has completely turned my life around. I'm going home happy at the end of the day again. Life is still impossibly busy, but I want to do this work. Jake keeps promising me a year of hiatus when he finishes school next year (I can't believe it's so close!) to explore other career choices or just do a solid year of research for my book. I'm not sure if I'll take it now. I guess we'll see. For now, everything is good. Finally.
I hadn't taken time to really luxuriate in the hard work and perseverance paying off. I didn't quit last year. I cried a lot, I had shitty weekends, and I gained weight, but I didn't stop. Bills were paid. College credits were earned. I started a goddamn school newspaper. All while wanting nothing more than to leave that place and never look back. I feel extremely proud looking back on it all. Go me.
I hadn't taken time to really luxuriate in the hard work and perseverance paying off. I didn't quit last year. I cried a lot, I had shitty weekends, and I gained weight, but I didn't stop. Bills were paid. College credits were earned. I started a goddamn school newspaper. All while wanting nothing more than to leave that place and never look back. I feel extremely proud looking back on it all. Go me.
Well, I've never been blatant about it, but it's not like I've ever been super straight-laced on this board...
Considering that one of the ways a guy will frequently make funny is to pretend homosexual tendencies, it can be somewhat of a surprise to find that person may not actually have been kidding.
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
I wasn't allowed to reply to that thread, back in the day, when it was posted.
fade
Staff member
Well, okay, but I can probably find many a man who feels no attraction to men, yet wouldn't mind a hot woman riding them with a strap-on.
EDIT: Though apparently not judging from the replies to that thread.
I made it to the Yukon!!!
I feel like I was dragged behind a bus all the way here but Made it!!
I feel like I was dragged behind a bus all the way here but Made it!!
Does it bother anyone else in English, the word "tempered" can mean both "made stronger" or "lessened"?
Every time someone likes my post, I question my word choice there. Hah.
GasBandit
Staff member
Eh, I'm nonplussed. It's deceptively good wording, rendering me bemused.
Not so much "lessened" as "blunted," I'd say.
"cleave" is still my go-to example for that kind of stuff.
Communication is already fraught with so many pitfalls...
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
Advice: Boobs in the thumbnail. Works every time.Made my first $0.01 on my youtube channel; and cracked 100 views. Still figuring things out but having a blast.
Ok, actual advice: Whatever you're making videos about, there's probably a subreddit for it. When you put up a new video, post it in the subreddit. That's how my Space Engineers tutorials took off.
Oh god, it took me 10 years work the nerve up to post here, gotta down some black rum before Reddit.
And I just noticed I misspelt Civilization on the majority of my videos. Awesome.
Not even Fade can dislike boobs.
Successful Northern Lights hunt !!
You work for a hotel and have Friday and Saturday off? Holy crap!They want to give me a consistent Sunday-Thursday schedule?
My company gave me a huge project, one that involves a massive workload, finicky clients, and a very demanding deadline. I've been stressing out about it all weekend.
When I actually did it today, I found it quite interesting and enjoyable. In particular, I had fun engineering solutions to go through the huge workload much more efficiently.
When I actually did it today, I found it quite interesting and enjoyable. In particular, I had fun engineering solutions to go through the huge workload much more efficiently.
Guys.. I suspect @bhamv3 has been replaced by a robot. Play it cool guys, don't let him know that we know!
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