Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!

Squirrel ate the face off my jack-o'-lantern.

Actually, it'd be pretty neat to make a bloody skull to put in there. Too bad I'm such a lazybutt.
 
Leave it the way it is, but prop up a prop squirrel against it with a bloodied mouth.
...or look around the neighborhood for an actual roadkill to be your zombie squirrel. Upcycling!

--Patrick
 
Update: as she does anytime someone comments on her being wrong in one of her Facebook posts, my sister deleted the whole thing. Then she started a new one saying it can be annoying having family on Facebook.

I hit Like.
 
I have a vegan friend on Facebook who likes to post stuff related to veganism and animal cruelty. Recently she posted an article about the alleged matador who had a crisis of morality in the middle of a bullfight, which I knew was factually false. I posted the Snopes link debunking it. She says she doesn't trust Snopes because they're not animal experts. Fine, I post more articles from elsewhere about how it's not true. She still doesn't believe me. I tell her to google the name of the matador herself.

Finally, she comes back with "It doesn't matter if it's not true, it's just meant to make you think and feel a certain way."

I think I'm only keeping her on my feed because she's rather hot. She reminds me of a Taiwanese version of Lady Gaga.
 
I've got a bad head cold.

I took Nyquil instead of Dayquil by mistake before coming to work today.

This is going to be a long day.
 
I'm working from home while sick today and I just want to sleep.

I feel like I can't get a moment's break since our new boss started.
You need an animated cardboard cut-out of yourself to sit in front of your webcam and nod at the camera at random intervals.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
You know, the last few days at work were almost manageable, despite us being understaffed and overburdened. I should have recognized it was just a receding waterline presaging a tsunami of terrible shit to happen at the end of the month. Today's going to suuuuuck.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN LEAGUE CITY HAS ISSUED THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS FOR YOUR AREA:
SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING
TORNADO WARNING
METEOR WARNING
VOLCANO ERUPTION WARNING
VENGEFUL FORGOTTEN ANCIENT DEITY WREAKING HAVOC WARNING
SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY
PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS
AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE

 
You know, the last few days at work were almost manageable, despite us being understaffed and overburdened. I should have recognized it was just a receding waterline presaging a tsunami of terrible shit to happen at the end of the month. Today's going to suuuuuck.
From what you've said about your past, I expect you probably deserve it.
But from how you've been recently, I feel bad for you.

--Patrick
 
.. The fuck?
What have I said about my past that deserves me having bad days at work?
Your naughty, troublemaking, carefree past?
Aren't you always going on about your misspent, irresponsible youth, and the karma you "earned," and how you've only turned around recently?

--Patrick
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Your naughty, troublemaking, carefree past?
Aren't you always going on about your misspent, irresponsible youth, and the karma you "earned," and how you've only turned around recently?

--Patrick
Well, I wouldn't say "misspent." And trust me, that kind of activity comes with its own karmic retribution that doesn't wait 20 years to balance the books.
 
Oh god, I have exactly one pair of tights that I can actually wear with my costume leotard, and they are MISSING. It is cold outside and I think I'm going to have to go bare legged to my stuff today. :confused:
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Oh god, I have exactly one pair of tights that I can actually wear with my costume leotard, and they are MISSING. It is cold outside and I think I'm going to have to go bare legged to my stuff today. :confused:
Late October in Colorado? That sounds like courting death.
 
It's 50 and there is NO SUN. But I have long experience in suffering with bare legs in the cold. Thanks Catholic school! The clouds will actually help when it gets darker at least, otherwise it would be really bad later. :p
 
I'd interpreted him to mean with all the shit going on at work, you deserved to have some manageable days, but then he clarified it in the negative ...
Yeah, I don't get it, either. It's perfectly clear when I type it, but even when I go back later, I'm like..."How did I manage to leave so many loopholes for misinterpretation?"

--Patrick
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I have confirmed that the McDonalds so called all day breakfast menu is indeed badly planned half ass bullshit. No McGriddles? And whose bright idea was it to have English muffins in the south instead of biscuits, when biscuits are practically a food group down here and everybody hates Northern things like English muffins?
 
I have confirmed that the McDonalds so called all day breakfast menu is indeed badly planned half ass bullshit. No McGriddles? And whose bright idea was it to have English muffins in the south instead of biscuits, when biscuits are practically a food group down here and everybody hates Northern things like English muffins?
I live in the south, and I prefer mcmuffins to biscuit sandwiches...
 
...Didn't we just have the whole biscuits vs muffins discussion? Market research showed one was more successful in one part of the country, and the other in the other; stienman had a nice post about it :p
 
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