Friday is my first-born child's birthday. Friday the Force Awakens. Coincidence? I think not.
Star Wars Ep. VII has a name...
- Thread starter @Li3n
- Start date
So Jun saw Star Wars ep IV for the first time last night. Literally nothing about Star Wars has been spoiled for her...somehow. The variety of aliens blew her mind, she thought the Millennium Falcon was an awesome ship, and she got pissed off when Obi-wan got offed by Vader, "Why did he let him DO that?!" and after the Death Star blew up she was like, "Wait, the bad guy didn't die too? Vader got away?!" ah heh.
Going to watch Empire tonight.
Going to watch Empire tonight.
It is so cool that she doesn't know any of this stuff. I'm kind of envious; I would love to see the finale to Empire again without knowing. I saw it without it being spoiled, but being a little kid, it didn't really click with me as being a big deal. Planet of the Apes twist got me, but Empire it was just like "oh."
But Dave's right. Star Wars is such a joyous ending compared to Empire. Oh boy.
I also told her not to discuss the movie with any classmates today when she went to her English class lest THEY spoil it for her.
It's effed up no matter how you slice it. If you watch them in order then the big reveal of Darth Vader's identity is spoiled. If you watch 1-3 after 4-6, you know the basic story and Darth Vader's character is tarnished and boring by the whining dialog. The audience knows what is going to happen so there is no suspense or decent drama. We know Obi-Wan, Chewbacca, Yoda, etc aren't going to die. The worst of all (to me) is that the prequels jack up Vader's redemption in RoTJ. He murdered children. God I hate lucas for that.
GasBandit
Staff member
I've also heard there are fan recuts that vastly improve all of the prequels via editing and redubbing.
Links in the following imgur page-
http://imgur.com/gallery/04zn19m
Phantom:
- Nemoidian and Gungan voices are re-vocalized with alien dialect and subtitled.
- Journey to Gungan underwater city removed
- Jar Jar is now a useful character instead of an annoying tag-along
- Nemoidians are much more devious and less cowardly
- Childish Battle Droid dialog removed
- Queen Amidala’s voice is pitch-shifted back to her normal pitch. (Still could not remove her horrible British accent)
- Naboo pilot Ric Olié’s endless plot exposition removed when appropriate
- Midichlorian references removed
- Anakin immaculate conception removed
- All fart and poop jokes removed
- Anakin is edited to be a more deliberate hero instead of an accidental one.
- Removed as many “Yippe!” and “Whoa!” and “Whee!” exclamations as possible.
- Removed the two headed pod race announcer
- Shortened the podrace intro scene and tightened the whole race for more tension
- Removed the entire sequence of trying to capture the Viceroy at the end"
Clones: "Following in my tradition of editing the Prequels, I give you the Anti-Cheese version of Attack of the Clones. This film had some cool stuff in it, but was horribly mangled by the awful dialog and acting, especially between Padme and Anakin. There was also a lot of extra cheese in this one as well that needed to go. So, Anakin and Padme’s scenes were drastically edited to make Anakin way less whiny and petulant, and most of the cringe-worthy dialog was removed. Jar-Jar’s voice as well as the voice of the Neimodians were either removed or replaced. Several scenes were removed entirely, most notably Anakin’s breakdown in the shop at the Lars homestead after killing the sandpeople, and R2 and C3PO are removed entirely from the ending battle in the droid factory and the arena. Those scenes were just too much cheese for my liking. There’s about 100 other little edits that tighten things up and helped this fatty lose about 20 minutes of run-time- and frankly I think it’s for the better. Again, your mileage may vary."
Sith:"As the final chapter in my Prequel Anti-Cheese anthology, I present to you my edit of Revenge of the Sith. Before you ask, yes- I took out Vader screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” at the end. Honestly, I thought that was about all I needed to do, because Jar Jar only said 2 words in this film so I thought it would be an easy edit. Turns out that I needed to cut about 15 minutes of cheese in order to get this baby down to about 2 hours and 5 minutes." EDITCREDIT: I didn't have anything to do with these and are by super-fan JeremyMWest-Esquire
Links in the following imgur page-
http://imgur.com/gallery/04zn19m
Phantom:
- Nemoidian and Gungan voices are re-vocalized with alien dialect and subtitled.
- Journey to Gungan underwater city removed
- Jar Jar is now a useful character instead of an annoying tag-along
- Nemoidians are much more devious and less cowardly
- Childish Battle Droid dialog removed
- Queen Amidala’s voice is pitch-shifted back to her normal pitch. (Still could not remove her horrible British accent)
- Naboo pilot Ric Olié’s endless plot exposition removed when appropriate
- Midichlorian references removed
- Anakin immaculate conception removed
- All fart and poop jokes removed
- Anakin is edited to be a more deliberate hero instead of an accidental one.
- Removed as many “Yippe!” and “Whoa!” and “Whee!” exclamations as possible.
- Removed the two headed pod race announcer
- Shortened the podrace intro scene and tightened the whole race for more tension
- Removed the entire sequence of trying to capture the Viceroy at the end"
Clones: "Following in my tradition of editing the Prequels, I give you the Anti-Cheese version of Attack of the Clones. This film had some cool stuff in it, but was horribly mangled by the awful dialog and acting, especially between Padme and Anakin. There was also a lot of extra cheese in this one as well that needed to go. So, Anakin and Padme’s scenes were drastically edited to make Anakin way less whiny and petulant, and most of the cringe-worthy dialog was removed. Jar-Jar’s voice as well as the voice of the Neimodians were either removed or replaced. Several scenes were removed entirely, most notably Anakin’s breakdown in the shop at the Lars homestead after killing the sandpeople, and R2 and C3PO are removed entirely from the ending battle in the droid factory and the arena. Those scenes were just too much cheese for my liking. There’s about 100 other little edits that tighten things up and helped this fatty lose about 20 minutes of run-time- and frankly I think it’s for the better. Again, your mileage may vary."
Sith:"As the final chapter in my Prequel Anti-Cheese anthology, I present to you my edit of Revenge of the Sith. Before you ask, yes- I took out Vader screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” at the end. Honestly, I thought that was about all I needed to do, because Jar Jar only said 2 words in this film so I thought it would be an easy edit. Turns out that I needed to cut about 15 minutes of cheese in order to get this baby down to about 2 hours and 5 minutes." EDITCREDIT: I didn't have anything to do with these and are by super-fan JeremyMWest-Esquire
I'd be willing to watch an edit, but I just don't have any time for re-watching anything. My media consumption is about 20-30 min a day. It used to be 10+ hrs a day - I sometimes miss my marathon movie/video game weekends.
Um, actually it was younglings.
Ah ha. Yeah. Best parts with Jun watching ESB:
"Luke I am your Father"
Jun: " Wait a second. *pauses movie*
Me: "...."
Jun: "So is that true? Like really?"
Me: "Yep!"
Jun: "OH SHIT"
Later on, as Luke is hanging upside down:
"He's calling out for Leia, but he doesn't know she's already got another boyfriend"
"I hate this, why can't she just pick one of them. She already kissed luke once, and then kissed Han, and now she's kissing luke again"
"What is the OTHER guy gonna do when she finally picks one of them??
Ahhhhhh this is perfect.
She's his brother!?! 
Ewwww! in 3...2...
Ewwww! in 3...2...
GasBandit
Staff member
The (still unanswered) question is... does that reveal come in ep 6 or 3? Is Terrik doing just the old school 3, or flashing back to ep 3 before Jedi?She's his brother!?! Ewwww!
Flashback!
I don't know what this New Hope thing is. I know Star Wars and it's sequels, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. 
Dave
Staff member
Okay, how's about this. Maybe not the better movie, but certainly more magical.
You know, after watching this, i got to say... the dialogue is way worse then i remember...[DOUBLEPOST=1450209913,1450209844][/DOUBLEPOST]
It does feel more "genuine", while Empire is... "better made" i guess.
So I watched that edit of A Phantom Menace.
It still sucks and the effects are bloody unbearably bad, but it's infinitely more watchable. Of note, removing 99% of Anakin's yipees and changing the Trade Federation and droid voices. Oh, and almost the entirety of Jar Jar's or the Gungan's non-war parts of the film.
They also make Anakin's heroics more deliberate and MUCH LESS SHITTILY ACCIDENTAL.
It still sucks and the effects are bloody unbearably bad, but it's infinitely more watchable. Of note, removing 99% of Anakin's yipees and changing the Trade Federation and droid voices. Oh, and almost the entirety of Jar Jar's or the Gungan's non-war parts of the film.
They also make Anakin's heroics more deliberate and MUCH LESS SHITTILY ACCIDENTAL.
Speaking of A Phantom Menace, I just finished it with Jun. Now, this isn't exactly the flashback route, but I figured, what the hell, ill do 1-3 before I finally hit 6 and see what SHE thinks.
Welp---actually she didn't have any real gripes one way or another but she INSTANTLY caught a continuity error.
Jun: "Who's that guy?"
Me: "Who, Obi-wan?"
Jun: "No, the other one"
Me: "Oh, that's his master, Qui-gon Jin"
Jun: "What? But in the last movie we watched Obi wan said Yoda was his master"
Me: "Er...well, yes but.."
Jun: "So, is this guy Obi-wan's master or is Yoda?"
Me: "Just...just keep watching the movie."
She actually had a sad too. How could this SWEET, INNOCENT little boy turn into the evil figure she saw in the first two movies. But yeah, she liked it overall and I had a chuckle when every time Palpatine was on the screen she was like, "Why does this guy seem SO much like a villian?". I almost forgot ol' Palps doesn't even show up until ROTJ so she actually has no idea who he is. I'll keep it that way.
Welp---actually she didn't have any real gripes one way or another but she INSTANTLY caught a continuity error.
Jun: "Who's that guy?"
Me: "Who, Obi-wan?"
Jun: "No, the other one"
Me: "Oh, that's his master, Qui-gon Jin"
Jun: "What? But in the last movie we watched Obi wan said Yoda was his master"
Me: "Er...well, yes but.."
Jun: "So, is this guy Obi-wan's master or is Yoda?"
Me: "Just...just keep watching the movie."
She actually had a sad too. How could this SWEET, INNOCENT little boy turn into the evil figure she saw in the first two movies. But yeah, she liked it overall and I had a chuckle when every time Palpatine was on the screen she was like, "Why does this guy seem SO much like a villian?". I almost forgot ol' Palps doesn't even show up until ROTJ so she actually has no idea who he is. I'll keep it that way.
At least Episode 2 attempted to address this.
So hyped!
Time to go cut off the limbs of the negative reviewers.
http://moviebob.blogspot.ca/2015/12/review-star-wars-episode-vii-force.html
I don't know. MovieBob gives it a pretty positive review, but from what I'm reading, it sounds really, REALLY fan-service heavy. Which is exactly what I was afraid of with JJ Abrams at the helm.
I don't know. MovieBob gives it a pretty positive review, but from what I'm reading, it sounds really, REALLY fan-service heavy. Which is exactly what I was afraid of with JJ Abrams at the helm.
It doesn't surprise me that it might be a bit fanservice-heavy. After three films that are considered disappointments, I could understand playing a bit heavy to the crowd as part of winning them back.