So, I had to go look up this architect letter thing. It's an image, so I hadda find an online OCR converter. I'm only quoting the relevant section. My notes on the errors are in red.
I mean, do you understand the point of exhaust ports? Do you know HOW MUCH EXHAUST is created by this MOON-SIZED battle station? There were hundreds of floors on that thing. It housed a laser capable of instantly blowing up planets. It needs a LOT of ventilation -the fact that I was able to keep those exhaust ports to the size of a womp rat should earn me some credit.
Now - let's talk a little about what happened at the Battle of Yavin IV. Some farmboy nobody flies down a trench, shoots somebombstorpedos out of his X-Wing straight ahead, thebombstorpedos take a90 DEGREE TURNfalse. They would only have taken a 90 degree turn if Luke's ship was basically scraping the bottom of the trench. Since we have seen he was actually flying much higher than the very bottom of the trench, the angle was considerably less than 90 degrees. As is shown on this tactical display in the movie and in this slowed down and enhanced view of the actual shot. and then they go EXACTLY down the tiny exhaust port admittedly difficult, which is why it took so many shots, go down miles and miles of insanely narrow pipe so? our current AMRAAMS will make this distance, and our LRAAMs will go close to 3 times the distance needed. And they're not proton torpedos. and hit the Death Star's core, blowing it up.
Notice anything weird there?
First off, 'exhaust' doesn't mean shit gets SUCKED DOWN. It means shit gets PUSHED UP. That's what it is -it's expelling gas. Outward. As in, not in a direction that would suck down a bomb. If anything, it should have pushed the bombs UP. This is dumb. How many mph of a wind are we talking about here that an aerodynamic missile in flight can't handle it?
So how'd the bomb take a right angle turn down it? it didn't. Hmmmm oh I dunno OH THAT'S RIGHT WE LIVE IN A GALAXY WITH MAGIC SPACE WIZARDS.
"But Exhaust Port Designer!" you say. "All of the magic space wizards were killed!"
Damn, ya got me there OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT! THE KID WHO TOOK THE SHOT JUST HAPPENED TO BE NAMED 'SKYWALKER.' Yep, same as our leather-daddy asthmatic boss. And he just so happened to be from the same planet as ol' Chokey. And it turns out - he wasn't even using his targeting computer when he made the winning shot! What a coincidence.
And - hey! Who was the guy pursuing the computer-less moisture-farmer? Oh, that's right - it was Darth Vader, his dad! And he managed to spectacularly fail at taking out thisfirst-time pilotfalse. Luke had clearly flown T-16s back home, shooting targets about the same size as the exaust port. As per the conversation between Biggs and Luke: T-16s are a lot like the snubfighters we're using." "I know, I looked one over. I'm sure I can handle it.", who just so happened to be his son.
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