[Movies] Star Wars The Force Awakens SPOILER THREAD!

Frank

Frank

This may be the hardest I've laughed at a video in a long time. Holy shit is some of this crap ridiculous.

 
Mathias

Mathias

Frank said:
This may be the hardest I've laughed at a video in a long time. Holy shit is some of this crap ridiculous.

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13:22

The droids waxed Vaders helmet to distract Palpatine from the shortcuts they used on his suit due to the budgetary limitations imposed by Palpatine... Haha that sounds like a Dilbert comic.:D
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Null said:
Star Wars The Force Awakens, Anime Opening style. This works insanely well.

http://digg.com/video/star-wars-anime-intro
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Ha ha ha ha.. it's from the cringetastic season two Code Geass opening. The people aren't nearly noodly enough![DOUBLEPOST=1453484676,1453484493][/DOUBLEPOST]
Mathias said:
13:22

The droids waxed Vaders helmet to distract Palpatine from the shortcuts they used on his suit due to the budgetary limitations imposed by Palpatine... Haha that sounds like a Dilbert comic.:D
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Ha ha yeah.. We're gonna build a SECOND Death Star, even bigger than the first, but, you know, don't spend money on this one guy's battlesuit.

It did kind of irk me that they didn't put two and two together that EmPal SuRecon was short for the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center, once they finally read the whole ridiculous thing out loud halfway through.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

The Empire was run completely on a tiny budget... from stormtrooper rifles that were notoriously inaccurate to TIE fighters that had no shielding and no amtosphere (you flew in heated, air supplied flight suit), the Empire skimped on everything because they need MILLIONS of things. It doesn't even make sense to cut it; they are a pan galatic empire, they had MORE than enough resources for the best of EVERYTHING.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
AshburnerX said:
The Empire was run completely on a tiny budget... from stormtrooper rifles that were notoriously inaccurate to TIE fighters that had no shielding and no amtosphere (you flew in heated, air supplied flight suit), the Empire skimped on everything because they need MILLIONS of things. It doesn't even make sense to cut it; they are a pan galatic empire, they had MORE than enough resources for the best of EVERYTHING.
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I don't buy it. That sounds like more fanboy equivocational fill-in-the-gaps headcanon. First of all, stormtroopers were absolutely precise and deadly when they weren't under direct orders to let the targets escape. I'll grant you that tie fighters were cheap, but that's also because they had unlimited manpower. And while the fighters might have been cheap, the Star Destroyers (and Death Stars!) certainly were not.

But even if they had millions of other things, they only had one Dark Lord of the Sith, and it only made sense to max his stats out as best they could.

Although, when he was put together, the empire wasn't really fully established yet, I guess... it was still in the transition between republic and empire, so... I dunno, maybe Palpatine had to hide Vader's surgery off the books or something? I dunno.

Really, the whole thing sounds like somebody not even affiliated with Lucasfilm just manufactured out of whole cloth to try and explain/tie together minute details from the movies and other canonical sources.

That's really the thing about Star Wars... SO MUCH of it is just shit fans made up and nobody said "no" so it stayed headcanon long enough to be thought of as actual canon.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

GasBandit said:
But even if they had millions of other things, they only had one Dark Lord of the Sith, and it only made sense to max his stats out as best they could.

Although, when he was put together, the empire wasn't really fully established yet, I guess... it was still in the transition between republic and empire, so... I dunno, maybe Palpatine had to hide Vader's surgery off the books or something? I dunno.
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Vader was very much off the books. No one was supposed to know he was Anakin Skywalker except a chosen few because it would have raised questions about why a Jedi (who were enemies of the Empire and sentenced to death on the battlefield) was walking around. Fuck, no one knew Palpatine was a Sith except for the remaining Jedi and his own personal agents. The only reason to stick Vader in that suit instead of proper cybernetics was to torture Anakin and hide his identity... I mean, Vader had his own personal, tricked out TIE-Avenger. That most have cost the Empire more than a dozen of his suits.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
AshburnerX said:
Vader was very much off the books. No one was supposed to know he was Anakin Skywalker except a chosen few because it would have raised questions about why a Jedi (who were enemies of the Empire and sentenced to death on the battlefield) was walking around. Fuck, no one knew Palpatine was a Sith except for the remaining Jedi and his own personal agents. The only reason to stick Vader in that suit instead of proper cybernetics was to torture Anakin and hide his identity... I mean, Vader had his own personal, tricked out TIE-Avenger. That most have cost the Empire more than a dozen of his suits.
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Quite so. That Vader had his own shielded prototype Tie Fighter undermines the whole "Vader on a budget" thing. I'm pretty sure that was just something somebody pulled out of their ass and put on a wiki.
 
Frank

Frank

GasBandit said:
Quite so. That Vader had his own shielded prototype Tie Fighter undermines the whole "Vader on a budget" thing. I'm pretty sure that was just something somebody pulled out of their ass and put on a wiki.
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Either way, it's fucking hilarious.
 
Reverent-one

Reverent-one

GasBandit said:
Quite so. That Vader had his own shielded prototype Tie Fighter undermines the whole "Vader on a budget" thing. I'm pretty sure that was just something somebody pulled out of their ass and put on a wiki.
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Apparently that came from Darth Vader: A 3-d Construction log, some children's cross-section/"Inside Darth Vader's suit" book. According to the wiki, the "budget" thing was an excuse even the droids working on Vader didn't buy, they suspected it was intended so Palpatine could keep Vader in check. So it looks like it was meant to be a not really convincing "official" reason in-universe to cover up the truth.
 
phil

phil

GasBandit said:
I don't buy it. That sounds like more fanboy equivocational fill-in-the-gaps headcanon. First of all, stormtroopers were absolutely precise and deadly when they weren't under direct orders to let the targets escape. I'll grant you that tie fighters were cheap, but that's also because they had unlimited manpower. And while the fighters might have been cheap, the Star Destroyers (and Death Stars!) certainly were not.

But even if they had millions of other things, they only had one Dark Lord of the Sith, and it only made sense to max his stats out as best they could.

Although, when he was put together, the empire wasn't really fully established yet, I guess... it was still in the transition between republic and empire, so... I dunno, maybe Palpatine had to hide Vader's surgery off the books or something? I dunno.

Really, the whole thing sounds like somebody not even affiliated with Lucasfilm just manufactured out of whole cloth to try and explain/tie together minute details from the movies and other canonical sources.

That's really the thing about Star Wars... SO MUCH of it is just shit fans made up and nobody said "no" so it stayed headcanon long enough to be thought of as actual canon.
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I agree it gets annoying. I feel like a lot of fandoms do it too but Star Wars has been around long enough that they have every little thing covered. Like in A New Hope there's the scene where Luke and his uncle are at the Jawa droid market, and they're about to buy this one droid but it shorts out so they get R2D2 instead. There's a comic that explains that scene and how the first droid was force sensitive and had a vision that R2D2 had to go with Luke to save the galaxy and so it purposefully shorted itself out.
 
Sparhawk

Sparhawk

phil said:
I agree it gets annoying. I feel like a lot of fandoms do it too but Star Wars has been around long enough that they have every little thing covered. Like in A New Hope there's the scene where Luke and his uncle are at the Jawa droid market, and they're about to buy this one droid but it shorts out so they get R2D2 instead. There's a comic that explains that scene and how the first droid was force sensitive and had a vision that R2D2 had to go with Luke to save the galaxy and so it purposefully shorted itself out.
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Skippy the Jedi Droid by Peter David.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
phil said:
I agree it gets annoying. I feel like a lot of fandoms do it too but Star Wars has been around long enough that they have every little thing covered. Like in A New Hope there's the scene where Luke and his uncle are at the Jawa droid market, and they're about to buy this one droid but it shorts out so they get R2D2 instead. There's a comic that explains that scene and how the first droid was force sensitive and had a vision that R2D2 had to go with Luke to save the galaxy and so it purposefully shorted itself out.
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Sparhawk said:
Skippy the Jedi Droid by Peter David.
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Exactly. That's exactly what I'm talking about. There's so much stuff that I'd call canon-by-unrefuted-fanon and some of it is really groanworthy.
 
Sparhawk

Sparhawk

Peter wrote the story as a joke. Originally published as prose in his "But I digress..." column in Comic Buyers Guide. People liked it, Dark Horse asked to include it in the Star Wars Tales comic, and they did it. Wasn't ever meant to be canon, but it struck the right nerve at the right time.

Anyway, everyone knows that Chopper from Rebels is the true Jedi Droid!
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Wait, doesn't R2D2 straight up kneecap the R5 droid? You see the little thingie pop up on his head.
 
General Specific

General Specific

Frank said:
Yeah, I know, I meant that it may be canon, but it's still extended universe, like the current run of Marvel comics or all the books that are sure to be released. Anything going forward is canon apparently.[DOUBLEPOST=1451765661,1451765488][/DOUBLEPOST]And because I'm having fun seeing some of the sadder shit being posted online about this movie, here's another gem.



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So has anyone heard from these people? That movie is out now and getting bad to neutral-at-best reviews.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

In case anyone didn't know, digital is out today, physical Blu Ray on Tuesday.

I say it that way because I didn't know; just happened to be on Amazon and saw it. Will make a cool surprise for my wife next week when it arrives in the mail :D.
 
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