Let me tell you the other side of this story, for those who don't have kids. You finally got the chance to go out after 14 straight weeks of reheated frozen food and cold cereal. The baby's been calm all day. You get out, and there's a line at the restaurant. Finally you get a seat, and you get to order after lugging the baby around. Then, the baby who has been perfectly calm, because you're not a dick who takes out a cranky baby intentionally, starts wailing. You do everything you can to calm the kid, but nothing is working. Everyone is staring at you. People who don't have kids are glaring at you like you're doing it intentionally or having a Brian-style meltdown at you. The people with older kids already forgot, because its one of those traumatic things you block out. The people with young kids are giving you sympathetic eyes, but secretly thanking whatever gods they believe in that it's not them. And you're sitting there in the middle of it all thinking, "Geez, shut up kid. I know everyone wants us to leave, but I would just like 30 minutes out of the house and a warm meal."