GasBandit
Staff member
Gas Bandit's Surgery Recovery Comedy Extravaganza
- Thread starter GasBandit
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GasBandit
Staff member
Woke up super dehydrated this morning, so I decided to allocate all stomach space to water instead of cracking open the peanut butter. It was a disappointment, but I'm told the main thing that gets people in my situation back in the hospital is becoming dangerously dehydrated, and I don't want that.
So the PB might have to wait for tonight.
But tomorrow is breakfast taco day at work, a ritual I have not partaken in since november. I told them to get me one with just eggs, nothing else. That'll probably last me all weekend.
So the PB might have to wait for tonight.
But tomorrow is breakfast taco day at work, a ritual I have not partaken in since november. I told them to get me one with just eggs, nothing else. That'll probably last me all weekend.
Actually the cannibals and zombies on staff use them and other collected bits to make Human Haggis.
GasBandit
Staff member
So I walk into the break room to grab a swig of protein shake, and sitting on the table I see the iconic white paperboard box.
Oh no. Donuts again?!
I peek in the box.
Oh thank god.
It's just fruit kolaches.
I don't like fruit kolaches.
AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....
Oh no. Donuts again?!
I peek in the box.
Oh thank god.
It's just fruit kolaches.
I don't like fruit kolaches.
AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....
Stop looking. You didn't even need to open the box. I know that's hard to believe.
Could you install a mini-fridge in your office and just not brave the break room for a while?
GasBandit
Staff member
Hrm, you know, for a while I was actually perusing pawn shops on my break looking for an ultra cheap minifridge for just this purpose. It kind of tailed off when I stopped going to lunch a couple months ago. Maybe I should have another look. Problem is, all the ones under 70 bucks smell funny. But I was confident I'd find a good one someday.
Also stuff in the break room, while not exactly rare, usually isn't THIS common.
I mean, donuts are usually a "once every month or two" thing.
You should just not go to work, since they keep displaying food there.
Go to Amazon, type in "mini fridge", order by low-to-high price, behold what looks like over a dozen small fridges in the $30-$70 range without worrying about the second-hand funk. Not like you need a lot of space--enough for the day's lunchbox, a shake, and a water should be plenty for your new lifestyle.
GasBandit
Staff member
Trust me, the ones under $70 have a miniscule capacity (not like that's important though, as you say), and as often as not just straight-up don't work.
Still, maybe it'sworth trying.
GasBandit
Staff member
I've noticed something odd ever since I've gotten home. Every time I drink some of the protein shakes I have, I am almost immediately beset by a short but violent sneezing fit. It happens at work, too. I go take a drink, put it back, walk away... ACHOO-ACHOO. Two sneezes with no break between them even for a breath... then I'm fine.
I've tried wiping off the part of the drink carton that goes under my nose, etc, no dice. It seems to be something in the shake itself that, after I drink, and I exhale through my nose, sets me off. It seems to be harmless, but annoying.
I've tried wiping off the part of the drink carton that goes under my nose, etc, no dice. It seems to be something in the shake itself that, after I drink, and I exhale through my nose, sets me off. It seems to be harmless, but annoying.
Get a Hydro Flask for your water. Then it doesn't have to stay in the fridge. Everyone has them here in HI because they really do keep your drinks cold. Aussie has a 64 oz bottle from a company called Fifty/Fifty that works really well, too. We take that one to the beach for refills.
GasBandit
Staff member
I have yeti mugs for the water, and the fridge has an ice dispenser (though it's usually jammed and nobody but me gives enough of a SHIT TO FUCKING UNJAM IT WHICH REQUIRES TAKING IT ALL THE FUCKING WAY APART). The protein shakes come in their own little carton things that are meant to be what you drink directly from, and it would be kinda a duplication of effort to transfer them to a flask.
Also you would be astonished at the lengths I go to not to have to wash things.
But thanks for the tip all the same!
After the way you described your kitchen, I promise I won't.
And I only ate like 3 spoons of it.
If the sleeve gastrectomy reduces your total capacity to 150ml, and one tablespoon is 15ml, then that's enough room for 10 tablespoons of peanut butter, or 4 tablespoons of peanut butter and 3oz water.
--Patrick
The inflammation during healing reduces the capacity even further. It will eventually be whatever the target size was, but for the first several weeks it'll be quite a bit smaller.
Omae wa mo shindeiru.
Dave
Staff member
But abodo honey sauce is close.
GasBandit
Staff member
THis weekend has been an interesting exercise in relearning how it feels to be hungry and full. I'm not sure I've got them nailed down exactly yet, but the good news is If I overdo it, losing my proverbial and literal lunch isn't particularly violent or straining. It's more like clearing phlegm from deep in my throat, or the way a baby spits up. So at least it's not painful, and the good news is it only voids the portion that is over the limit and the stuff in my stomach stays safely there. Still, I wouldn't want it to happen anywhere where I'm not near a bathroom.
