Search forums

Forums

Export thread

Gas Bandit's Surgery Recovery Comedy Extravaganza

Jan 17, 2018#1

GasBandit

So as to free up the random crap thread.

Anyway, starting tomorrow, here's what's on the menu for the next couple weeks.

Jan 17, 2018#2

Gared

Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.

Jan 17, 2018#3

Dei

You could put peanut butter in oatmeal.

[DOUBLEPOST=1516225109,1516225069][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gared said:
Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.

Oh god.

Baby food meat and veggies are so gross.

Jan 17, 2018#4

GasBandit

I gotta figure out how to make extra small portions of stuff.

Y'know, without kitchencraft.

Jan 17, 2018#5

Dei

Puree a bunch of fruit/veggies and freeze it in an ice cube tray for later use.[DOUBLEPOST=1516225393,1516225344][/DOUBLEPOST]Alternatively, just google how to make meals at those restaurants that charge you $200 a plate for the tiniest portions ever.

Jan 17, 2018#6

Denbrought

My Kroger sells these egg-drop-soup-in-a-cup things that are pretty good, maybe try that out. Portion isn't huge either.

Ditto with miso soups. The dried packets are usually meant to make 1-cup portions.

Jan 17, 2018#7

Dei

I also think you're better off learning how to make food that keeps and reheats well than trying to make tiny portions of everything.

Jan 17, 2018#8

Denbrought

If you don't get bored with repetitive meals, you could use recipes and techniques from the MealPrepSunday guides, but cut down the numbers so each meal is the correct size. You might end up preparing 1.5x a meal (to split in 7) instead of the normal 7, but that'll at least be more manageable on the stove.

Jan 17, 2018#9

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
I gotta figure out how to make extra small portions of stuff.
Y'know, without kitchencraft.

It's not that hard.
Also, kitchencraft is a useful skill to start learning if you're a) going to be stuck at home more often than average and b) are going to have to prepare your own GasBandit-sized portions of everything from now on anyway. Restaurants aren't going to have a GasBandit section, office parties aren't going to have a GasBandit table, etc. Gonna have to fend for yourself.

--Patrick

Jan 17, 2018#10

strawman

Kitchen craft is hard though. Endless grinding, and you can’t grind frequently unless you’re willing to buy and throw away a lot of food.

Jan 17, 2018#11

GasBandit

I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.

Jan 17, 2018#12

PatrThom

stienman said:
Kitchen craft is hard though. Endless grinding, and you can’t grind frequently unless you’re willing to buy and throw away a lot of food.

GasBandit said:
I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.

Practice. Make something that "serves 4." Divide out and save your portion. Take the rest of it to work, it'll surely get eaten before it gets bad. Repeat.
Eventually you might end up bringing people over to your place to get social, where you cook for you but then fob off the extra on them and they're none the wiser. Ultimately your skills might help convince a certain someone to come visit more often and...well...

--Patrick

Jan 17, 2018#13

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Practice. Make something that "serves 4." Divide out and save your portion. Take the rest of it to work, it'll surely get eaten before it gets bad. Repeat.
Eventually you might end up bringing people over to your place to get social, where you cook for you but then fob off the extra on them and they're none the wiser. Ultimately your skills might help convince a certain someone to come visit more often and...well...

--Patrick

Heh, it's gonna be quite a while before anyone's coming over to Chateau d'GeeBee that I care about impressing. It needs a looooot of work.[DOUBLEPOST=1516227671,1516227508][/DOUBLEPOST]The engineer just brought his daughter into my office, her carrying a girl scout cookie order form.

I just shot him a look that said "Biiiiiiiiiiiitch... you know betta."

"Oh yeah," and they turned around and left.

Jan 17, 2018#14

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
It needs a looooot of work.

Again, if you're going to be stuck @ home a lot more, might as well practice some nesting behavior.

GasBandit said:
The engineer just brought his daughter into my office, her carrying a girl scout cookie order form.

That's cruel.

--Patrick

Jan 17, 2018#15

Dei

PatrThom said:
Again, if you're going to be stuck @ home a lot more, might as well practice some nesting behavior.

--Patrick

My husband thought that once we had a house, I might also practice that nesting behavior. :wololo:

Jan 17, 2018#16

ThatNickGuy

I missed all the Random Crap posts. What's the surgery for? Are you finally getting that lobotomy I suggested to improve your IQ? *ducks!*

Jan 17, 2018#17

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
I missed all the Random Crap posts. What's the surgery for? Are you finally getting that lobotomy I suggested to improve your IQ? *ducks!*

Jan 17, 2018#18

ThatNickGuy

GasBandit said:

Jan 17, 2018#19

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
View attachment 26546

To answer your question, though, I got a Sleeve Gastrectomy, to aid in permanent weight loss.

Jan 17, 2018#20

Dave

This looks a lot like the keto diet. Well, a pureed keto diet. A good snack is actually jello cups with whipped cream. You'd be surprised how few carbs/sugars are in whipped cream.

Also, look for muscle milks. High protein, low carb. Pretty tasty, too. Too bad nobody around here stocks the cookies & creme flavor. That was my favorite.

One more thing, I just watched a report that details that it's just as important WHEN you eat as WHAT. They suggest only eating during an 8 hour window that ends at 4 pm at the LATEST.

Jan 17, 2018#21

GasBandit

Dave said:
This looks a lot like the keto diet. Well, a pureed keto diet. A good snack is actually jello cups with whipped cream. You'd be surprised how few carbs/sugars are in whipped cream.

Also, look for muscle milks. High protein, low carb. Pretty tasty, too.

Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment. I mean, I've got these protein shakes that are 30g of protein and 160 calories, but they're so "fluffy" that I have to struggle just to drink half of one. It's rare that I can get just one down over the course of the whole day.

And let me tell you, trying to do stuff on 160 calories a day feels like dying.

Jan 17, 2018#22

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment. I mean, I've got these protein shakes that are 30g of protein and 160 calories, but they're so "fluffy" that I have to struggle just to drink half of one. It's rare that I can get just one down over the course of the whole day.

And let me tell you, trying to do stuff on 160 calories a day feels like dying.

Once you can have fats, rendered bacon fat is a useful (and tasty) way to add calories to dishes. You can get it by microwaving bacon that's hanging off a bowl within a bowl (or similar microwave-safe suspension-over-a-container).

Jan 17, 2018#23

WasabiPoptart

GasBandit said:
I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.

The gifs & videos of how to make different dishes can be helpful for someone just starting to learn "kitchencraft". Also there are a lot of different kinds of protein shakes out there, both premade and powdered. Maybe you can find one that's less fluffy.[DOUBLEPOST=1516240271,1516240181][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gared said:
Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.

I used to love eating my kids' leftover baby food fruits.

Jan 17, 2018#24

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment.

Does it matter what kind? That is, does it matter whether the calories come from fats, proteins, carbs, etc? If so, one of your densest source of calories is going to be butter.
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day. If you're good for dairy, maybe you can drink those little creamer cups?

--Patrick

Jan 17, 2018#25

WasabiPoptart

Also, this green smoothie is delicious. Use skim milk instead of soymilk. If you don't have a blender, I recommend getting a Ninja. It works well. Mine is a blender with a food processor bowl. People swear by Vitamix and the other high priced/high end blenders, but our Ninja has been going strong for close to 5 years now. It's about $160 for the model I have.[DOUBLEPOST=1516241292,1516241231][/DOUBLEPOST]

PatrThom said:
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day.
--Patrick

Jan 17, 2018#26

blotsfan

I think you'd like greek yogurt. :devil:

Jan 17, 2018#27

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Does it matter what kind? That is, does it matter whether the calories come from fats, proteins, carbs, etc? If so, one of your densest source of calories is going to be butter.
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day. If you're good for dairy, maybe you can drink those little creamer cups?

--Patrick

Protein is my priority. I've got to retain as much muscle mass as possible while I literally waste away.

blotsfan said:
I think you'd like greek yogurt.

I've found it's ok, as long as it's mixed with raspberries or strawberries or something.

As I've said before, plain greek yogurt is just rancid milk pretending to be pudding. It is demon semen.

Jan 17, 2018#28

drifter

Quark is pretty good if you can find it, even plain.

Jan 17, 2018#29

Dave

Are you able to eat rat toes?

Jan 17, 2018#30

GasBandit

Dave said:
Are you able to eat rat toes?

Jan 18, 2018#31

ThatNickGuy

I hope you're taking progress pictures, too. Hell, share them with us on here!

Jan 18, 2018#32

GasBandit

Unfortunately my most "before" before picture died with my old phone. I'm trying to get a copy back from the doctor because they took one at one of the seminars I had to attend as part of this.

But I did take a before picture the day of surgery, and I do plan to take progress pictures, though I may hold off on posting them a bit until I have several for maximum effect.

Jan 18, 2018#33

blotsfan

GasBandit said:
Protein is my priority. I've got to retain as much muscle mass as possible while I literally waste away.

So how do you prevent yourself from starving to death once you've lost all the weight you want to?

Jan 18, 2018#34

GasBandit

blotsfan said:
So how do you prevent yourself from starving to death once you've lost all the weight you want to?

Smaller meals more frequently. multivitamins. Foods with higher calorie content. The main issue right now is in addition to being smaller my stomach is also swollen while it recovers from surgery so passing stuff through it can be a little difficult. Once that heals up it'll be less of a chore to not starve.

Jan 18, 2018#35

PatrThom

blotsfan said:
So how do you prevent yourself from starving to death once you've lost all the weight you want to?

He goes back under the knife, they pull the part of his stomach they removed out of the vat of formaldehyde where it’s been waiting and sew it back on and he resumes a normal, healthy lifestyle.

—Patrick

Jan 18, 2018#36

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
He goes back under the knife, they pull the part of his stomach they removed out of the vat of formaldehyde where it’s been waiting and sew it back on and he resumes a normal, healthy lifestyle.

—Patrick

Jan 18, 2018#37

GasBandit

Woke up super dehydrated this morning, so I decided to allocate all stomach space to water instead of cracking open the peanut butter. It was a disappointment, but I'm told the main thing that gets people in my situation back in the hospital is becoming dangerously dehydrated, and I don't want that.

So the PB might have to wait for tonight.

But tomorrow is breakfast taco day at work, a ritual I have not partaken in since november. I told them to get me one with just eggs, nothing else. That'll probably last me all weekend.

Jan 18, 2018#38

Tiger Tsang

PatrThom said:
He goes back under the knife, they pull the part of his stomach they removed out of the vat of formaldehyde where it’s been waiting and sew it back on and he resumes a normal, healthy lifestyle.

—Patrick

Actually the cannibals and zombies on staff use them and other collected bits to make Human Haggis.

Jan 18, 2018#39

GasBandit

So I walk into the break room to grab a swig of protein shake, and sitting on the table I see the iconic white paperboard box.

Oh no. Donuts again?!

I peek in the box.

Oh thank god.

It's just fruit kolaches.

I don't like fruit kolaches.

AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....

Jan 18, 2018#40

Dei

GasBandit said:
So I walk into the break room to grab a swig of protein shake, and sitting on the table I see the iconic white paperboard box.

Oh no. Donuts again?!

I peek in the box.

Oh thank god.

It's just fruit kolaches.

I don't like fruit kolaches.

AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....

Stop looking. You didn't even need to open the box. I know that's hard to believe.

Jan 18, 2018#41

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
So I walk into the break room to grab a swig of protein shake, and sitting on the table I see the iconic white paperboard box.

Oh no. Donuts again?!

I peek in the box.

Oh thank god.

It's just fruit kolaches.

I don't like fruit kolaches.

AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....

Could you install a mini-fridge in your office and just not brave the break room for a while?

Jan 18, 2018#42

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Could you install a mini-fridge in your office and just not brave the break room for a while?

Hrm, you know, for a while I was actually perusing pawn shops on my break looking for an ultra cheap minifridge for just this purpose. It kind of tailed off when I stopped going to lunch a couple months ago. Maybe I should have another look. Problem is, all the ones under 70 bucks smell funny. But I was confident I'd find a good one someday.

Also stuff in the break room, while not exactly rare, usually isn't THIS common.

I mean, donuts are usually a "once every month or two" thing.

Jan 18, 2018#43

MindDetective

GasBandit said:
So I walk into the break room to grab a swig of protein shake, and sitting on the table I see the iconic white paperboard box.

Oh no. Donuts again?!

I peek in the box.

Oh thank god.

It's just fruit kolaches.

I don't like fruit kolaches.

AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED....

Dei said:
Stop looking. You didn't even need to open the box. I know that's hard to believe.

Denbrought said:
Could you install a mini-fridge in your office and just not brave the break room for a while?

You should just not go to work, since they keep displaying food there.

Jan 18, 2018#44

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
Hrm, you know, for a while I was actually perusing pawn shops on my break looking for an ultra cheap minifridge for just this purpose. It kind of tailed off when I stopped going to lunch a couple months ago. Maybe I should have another look. Problem is, all the ones under 70 bucks smell funny. But I was confident I'd find a good one someday.

Go to Amazon, type in "mini fridge", order by low-to-high price, behold what looks like over a dozen small fridges in the $30-$70 range without worrying about the second-hand funk. Not like you need a lot of space--enough for the day's lunchbox, a shake, and a water should be plenty for your new lifestyle.

Jan 18, 2018#45

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Go to Amazon, type in "mini fridge", order by low-to-high price, behold what looks like over a dozen small fridges in the $30-$70 range without worrying about the second-hand funk. Not like you need a lot of space--enough for the day's lunchbox, a shake, and a water should be plenty for your new lifestyle.

Trust me, the ones under $70 have a miniscule capacity (not like that's important though, as you say), and as often as not just straight-up don't work.

Still, maybe it'sworth trying.

Jan 18, 2018#46

blotsfan

Well you spent 15k on surgery. What's another $100 to get a nice mini fridge that will help make it not a waste of time, money, and effort?

Jan 18, 2018#47

Ravenpoe

@GasBandit right now

Jan 18, 2018#48

GasBandit

I've noticed something odd ever since I've gotten home. Every time I drink some of the protein shakes I have, I am almost immediately beset by a short but violent sneezing fit. It happens at work, too. I go take a drink, put it back, walk away... ACHOO-ACHOO. Two sneezes with no break between them even for a breath... then I'm fine.

I've tried wiping off the part of the drink carton that goes under my nose, etc, no dice. It seems to be something in the shake itself that, after I drink, and I exhale through my nose, sets me off. It seems to be harmless, but annoying.

Jan 18, 2018#49

WasabiPoptart

Get a Hydro Flask for your water. Then it doesn't have to stay in the fridge. Everyone has them here in HI because they really do keep your drinks cold. Aussie has a 64 oz bottle from a company called Fifty/Fifty that works really well, too. We take that one to the beach for refills.

Jan 18, 2018#50

GasBandit

WasabiPoptart said:
Get a Hydro Flask for your water. Then it doesn't have to stay in the fridge. Everyone has them here in HI because they really do keep your drinks cold. Aussie has a 64 oz bottle from a company called Fifty/Fifty that works really well, too. We take that one to the beach for refills.

I have yeti mugs for the water, and the fridge has an ice dispenser (though it's usually jammed and nobody but me gives enough of a SHIT TO FUCKING UNJAM IT WHICH REQUIRES TAKING IT ALL THE FUCKING WAY APART). The protein shakes come in their own little carton things that are meant to be what you drink directly from, and it would be kinda a duplication of effort to transfer them to a flask.

Also you would be astonished at the lengths I go to not to have to wash things.

But thanks for the tip all the same!

Jan 18, 2018#51

blotsfan

GasBandit said:
Also you would be astonished at the lengths I go to not to have to wash things.

After the way you described your kitchen, I promise I won't.

Jan 18, 2018#52

GasBandit

Peanut Butter for dinner, a play in three acts.

Act 1: Afternoon
"I can't wait to get home and eat peanut butter."

Act 2: Evening
"PEANUT BUTTER FOR DINNAAAAAAR IS THE BEST EVER!"

Act 3: Quietus
"Ooog... I kinda... I don't feel so good."

Jan 18, 2018#53

Celt Z

Somewhere, Dei is just shaking her head.

Jan 18, 2018#54

GasBandit

It's cool, everything's cool, I already feel better. I just needed more water, but first I needed more room for the water.

And Dei ain't got shit to say, PB is on the list

And I only ate like 3 spoons of it.

Jan 18, 2018#55

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
I only ate like 3 spoons of it.

If the sleeve gastrectomy reduces your total capacity to 150ml, and one tablespoon is 15ml, then that's enough room for 10 tablespoons of peanut butter, or 4 tablespoons of peanut butter and 3oz water.

--Patrick

Jan 18, 2018#56

strawman

PatrThom said:
If the sleeve gastrectomy reduces your total capacity to 150ml, and one tablespoon is 15ml, then that's enough room for 10 tablespoons of peanut butter, or 4 tablespoons of peanut butter and 3oz water.

--Patrick

The inflammation during healing reduces the capacity even further. It will eventually be whatever the target size was, but for the first several weeks it'll be quite a bit smaller.

Jan 19, 2018#57

GasBandit

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good. Looking forward to trying eggs for breakfast! ... and having leftover eggs to last an indeterminate amount of time. Still got plenty of protein shake on backup just in case.

Jan 19, 2018#58

GasBandit

I want you guys to know there is nothing on this entire earth better than scrambled eggs

Jan 19, 2018#59

GasBandit's Stomach

Omae wa mo shindeiru.

Jan 19, 2018#60

GasBandit

NANI?!

Jan 19, 2018#61

Dave

Google translate is just so helpful!

Omae wa mo shindeiru = "Grandma wa mo shindeiru."

Then I just googled it and saw the meme.

Jan 19, 2018#62

GasBandit

Alright.. I ... I think I got it tamped down.

Boy, that kinda hurt a little. I barely ate any, but there was some kind of little rebellion going on in there or something. I managed to keep it all down, and water seems to be helping. Oh man the burping.

Jan 19, 2018#63

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
I want you guys to know there is nothing on this entire earth better than scrambled eggs

Hunger is the best sauce.

--Patrick

Jan 19, 2018#64

Dave

PatrThom said:
Hunger is the best sauce.

--Patrick

But abodo honey sauce is close.

Jan 19, 2018#65

GasBandit

Man, gastric distress aside, real food is doing WONDERS for my energy level.

Jan 19, 2018#66

Dirona

Ya, it sure is amazing how no longer (completely) starving your brain and body turn things around!

Jan 20, 2018#67

GasBandit

Managed to drink an entire 11oz protein shake in one sitting. That's a major milestone.

Jan 20, 2018#68

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
Managed to drink an entire 11oz protein shake in one sitting. That's a major milestone.

Whey to go!

--Patrick

Jan 21, 2018#69

GasBandit

THis weekend has been an interesting exercise in relearning how it feels to be hungry and full. I'm not sure I've got them nailed down exactly yet, but the good news is If I overdo it, losing my proverbial and literal lunch isn't particularly violent or straining. It's more like clearing phlegm from deep in my throat, or the way a baby spits up. So at least it's not painful, and the good news is it only voids the portion that is over the limit and the stuff in my stomach stays safely there. Still, I wouldn't want it to happen anywhere where I'm not near a bathroom.

Jan 21, 2018#70

drifter

Keep a spit cup with you. Just don't tell people what kind of spit.

Jan 21, 2018#71

GasBandit

drifter said:
Keep a spit cup with you. Just don't tell people what kind of spit.

I don't want people to think I dip!

Jan 21, 2018#72

Squidleybits

Those super high protein shakes can leave you feeling surprisingly full. I was sceptical until I relied on them for a while. I was so glad to have them though. How long do you think your diet will be this restrictive?

I’m really hoping that your recovery goes well

Jan 21, 2018#73

drifter

GasBandit said:
I don't want people to think I dip!

A spit towel, then. It’ll be worth it just for the confused stares.

Jan 21, 2018#74

Celt Z

drifter said:
A spit towel, then. It’ll be worth it just for the confused stares.

I do believe it's called a burp cloth. Did not really expect to have a conversation where it was needed for an adult.

Jan 21, 2018#75

PatrThom

Celt Z said:
I do believe it's called a burp cloth. Did not really expect to have a conversation where it was needed for an adult.

Oh hey, I didn't think about that.
Gas may never belch a proper manly belch again.

--Patrick

Jan 21, 2018#76

drifter

Celt Z said:
Did not really expect to have a conversation where it was needed for an adult.

Jan 22, 2018#77

GasBandit

drifter said:
A spit towel, then. It’ll be worth it just for the confused stares.

Celt Z said:
I do believe it's called a burp cloth. Did not really expect to have a conversation where it was needed for an adult.

There's too much... Ejected material for that to work.

I'll just have to be extra careful about portions when I'm not at home.

PatrThom said:
Oh hey, I didn't think about that.
Gas may never belch a proper manly belch again.

--Patrick

That is... distressing. Still, if it works out like I hope it will, I guess it will be worth it.[DOUBLEPOST=1516601358,1516601289][/DOUBLEPOST]

Squidleybits said:
Those super high protein shakes can leave you feeling surprisingly full. I was sceptical until I relied on them for a while. I was so glad to have them though. How long do you think your diet will be this restrictive?

I’m really hoping that your recovery goes well

They are filling, but low calorie. They're useful but I need something solid too.

Jan 22, 2018#78

Squidleybits

I hope you find something soon

Jan 22, 2018#79

GasBandit

You know, I wake up, and I feel pretty good. Almost like my old self.

Then I take a shower, and it's the most exhausting thing I've ever done, and all I want to do afterwards is just lie back down and sleep.

But I gotta go to work.

Anyway, today I start taking the multivitamins. Lesse how well I tolerate them.

Jan 22, 2018#80

PatrThom

Are they prescription multivitamins?

--Patrick

Jan 22, 2018#81

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Are they prescription multivitamins?

--Patrick

Well, not exactly. Anybody can get them, but they're specifically formulated for people who've had bariatric surgery (and thus they're a little more expensive, too).

Jan 22, 2018#82

PatrThom

I know that absorption of vitamins/minerals can be boosted/cut based on what they’re taken with, or even what they’re combined with, so since your opportunity is reduced, I wondered if they were formulated with this in mind OR came with instructions (take with/without food, avoid taking with iron/calcium supplements, etc).

—Patrick

Jan 22, 2018#83

GasBandit

Somebody brought donuts again.

I resisted.

Jan 22, 2018#84

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
Somebody brought donuts again.
I resisted.

Your recent discomfort probably helped reinforce your aversion.

—Patrick

Jan 22, 2018#85

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Your recent discomfort probably helped reinforce your aversion.

—Patrick

Mehhh, more like the fact that now that I'm actually getting something of substance eat, I don't turn into a wereglutton at the first sniff of food.

My previous lapse, if you recall, was coming down off of 2 weeks of literally nothing.

Though, the fact that eating stuff sometimes hurts probably did reinforce my resolve a little.

Jan 23, 2018#86

GasBandit

The big guessing game these days is "Why does my stomach hurt a little?

Did I eat too much?
Did I not eat recently enough?
Did I eat something that is now disagreeing with me?
Is it just gas?
Did I not drink enough water?
Did I drink too much water too fast?
Is it just regular old "healing from surgery" pain?

It's very hard to tell which, they all pretty much feel the same right now. And guessing wrong can have inconvenient consequences. If the cause is I'm actually really hungry (and can't tell, yes, that's a thing) and I misinterpret it as "I need water," well, an hour later I'll wonder why I'm about to collapse from exhaustion. If the problem is "I am too full" and I misinterpret that as "I need water," well, see sunday's post.

Jan 24, 2018#87

GasBandit

Doctor's appointment today for followup. He's really pleased with how things are going. He wants me to start exercising (which I've intended to, it's just my energy level has been so freaking low). Also he says as I start to be able to tolerate food more, to lower my protein shake input to 1 per day. Which kinda confuses me, given that I was easily going on 2-3 per day before surgery, but hey, he's the doctor. Next appointment in 4 more weeks.

Jan 24, 2018#88

GasBandit

I got a fridge.

Jan 24, 2018#89

Dei

That's such a cute little baby fridge!

Jan 24, 2018#90

GasBandit

Dei said:
That's such a cute little baby fridge!

I need to start buying the shorter bottles of bottled water, a full height one doesn't quite fit without going in diagonal.

Jan 24, 2018#91

sixpackshaker

OMG! you still have a CRT!

Jan 24, 2018#92

Dei

sixpackshaker said:
OMG! you still have a CRT!

Not too surprising considering how cheap the owner is.

Jan 24, 2018#93

GasBandit

sixpackshaker said:
OMG! you still have a CRT!

That's my workbench. Yeah. That CRT wasn't even new when I started here. It's a MAG InnoVision DJ700, circa 1998. Still works, though. Good enough for a workbench, anyway.

Jan 24, 2018#94

sixpackshaker

GasBandit said:
That's my workbench. Yeah. That CRT wasn't even new when I started here. It's a MAG InnoVision DJ700, circa 1998. Still works, though. Good enough for a workbench, anyway.

My home work bench still has a monitor that came with my pc I bought in 1995. But my office is awash in flat panel monitors, hell I am running 3 monitors on my pc now. Each time we do product replacement every 4-6 years nobody turns in the old monitor.

Jan 24, 2018#95

drifter

GasBandit said:
I got a fridge.

View attachment 26577

Post it to Imgur with Netflix pulled up on your screen.

Jan 24, 2018#96

GasBandit

The button's on backorder.

Jan 24, 2018#97

PatrThom

sixpackshaker said:
OMG! you still have a CRT!

Who doesn't? It's the only good way to do 3D content.

GasBandit said:
The button's on backorder.

I like how they just repurposed an "Easy" button, as if that would've really meant anything different.

--Patrick

Jan 24, 2018#98

Squidleybits

People at work know that you've had the procedure right?

Couldn't they simmer down on the donuts for a bit? Rude.

Jan 24, 2018#99

GasBandit

Squidleybits said:
People at work know that you've had the procedure right?

Couldn't they simmer down on the donuts for a bit? Rude.

You'd think, wouldn't you?

Jan 24, 2018#100

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
You'd think, wouldn't you?

Someone needs to commission a new Ewok picture, but as a Ghostbusters-type sign emblazoned "DON'T DONUTS // OPEN INSIDE", to hang on the breakroom's door.

Jan 24, 2018#101

Dei

Denbrought said:
Someone needs to commission a new Ewok picture, but as a Ghostbusters-type sign emblazoned "DON'T DONUTS // OPEN INSIDE", to hang on the breakroom's door.

Wouldn't that be more Walking Dead?

Jan 24, 2018#102

Denbrought

Dei said:
Wouldn't that be more Walking Dead?

An Ewok pushing out of a No Entry sign with the words in TWD-meme formatting around it.

Jan 24, 2018#103

GasBandit

"There is no donuts, only GRUEL"

Jan 24, 2018#104

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
"There is no donuts, only GRUEL"

Now you're just being ridiculous.

--Patrick

Jan 24, 2018#105

MindDetective

GasBandit said:
I got a fridge.

View attachment 26577

A birthday present to yourself?

(happy birthday!)

Jan 24, 2018#106

strawman

GasBandit said:
"There is no donuts, only GRUEL"

What a lovely singing voice you must have.

Jan 25, 2018#107

GasBandit

I'm having a rough morning. For some reason I'm extremely exhausted, and even drinking protein shake is a little uncomfortable. I considered calling in sick today, but started feeling a little less bad, so here I am. I'm hoping with small amounts of water and peanut butter, I'll make it through the day... but I might have to knock off early.

Jan 25, 2018#108

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
I'm having a rough morning. For some reason I'm extremely exhausted, and even drinking protein shake is a little uncomfortable. I considered calling in sick today, but started feeling a little less bad, so here I am. I'm hoping with small amounts of water and peanut butter, I'll make it through the day... but I might have to knock off early.

Have you been getting enough sleep? Are you allowed caffeine? Could you try taking a nap at lunch?

Jan 25, 2018#109

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Have you been getting enough sleep? Are you allowed caffeine? Could you try taking a nap at lunch?

Yes. No. Yes.

I think I didn't get enough calories last night, and this morning I'm paying for it.

What'd I have?

About 4 ounces of mixed fruit (Pineapple, peach, pear).

It was good. It was filling. It was about 70 calories and contained no protein whatsoever.

Jan 25, 2018#110

Denbrought

... Welp. Maybe you should keep a food journal for a little while, so you can keep an eye on your macros until you adjust? There's sites like MyFitnessPal that make it easier. That way you won't be waylaid by over/under-shooting.

Jan 25, 2018#111

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
... Welp. Maybe you should keep a food journal for a little while, so you can keep an eye on your macros until you adjust? There's sites like MyFitnessPal that make it easier. That way you won't be waylaid by over/under-shooting.

Yeah, I've got myfitnesspal's app on my phone. It's more difficult to use, however, when I'm no longer eating standard serving sizes. Like.... I just had some peanut butter to help me perk up, but I have no idea how much it was. Less than a serving, I think? I'm terrible at estimating ounces and stuff.

Jan 25, 2018#112

Squidleybits

You can buy a little scale for that. I have one that measures pretty small portions of food.

Jan 25, 2018#113

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
Yeah, I've got myfitnesspal's app on my phone. It's more difficult to use, however, when I'm no longer eating standard serving sizes. Like.... I just had some peanut butter to help me perk up, but I have no idea how much it was. Less than a serving, I think? I'm terrible at estimating ounces and stuff.

I was on the same boat for a long while. I use a cheap 2000gx0.1g digital scale ($8-14 on amazon usually, plus the price of whatever weights you need to calibrate it) that can do grams and ounces (and tare) to check. Now I'm comfortable (and decently accurate) with estimating foods I know, but I still weigh them if I have the time, esp. ingredients when cooking complicated meals.

For ease of use in apps like MFP, you can experiment with weighing a few of your spoonfuls (with the spoon as tare) and averaging them out, then making a custom food item that is "1 spoonful (xy grams) of <brand> PB".

Jan 25, 2018#114

GasBandit

Looks like I'm buying a scale.

Jan 25, 2018#115

MindDetective

Jan 25, 2018#116

PatrThom

MindDetective said:

(Image not to scale)

—Patrick

Jan 25, 2018#117

Celt Z

Jan 25, 2018#118

PatrThom

Celt Z said:

C’mon, it’s obviously a scale model.

—Patrick

Jan 25, 2018#119

GasBandit

Welp, I just crashed, somewhere around 4:00 I think. I just woke up with my head on my desk. I haven't been this tired since my first week back to work. And I've had 2 protein shakes, peanut butter, and even a little chicken today. Not sure what's up.

Jan 25, 2018#120

Dei

GasBandit said:
Welp, I just crashed, somewhere around 4:00 I think. I just woke up with my head on my desk. I haven't been this tired since my first week back to work. And I've had 2 protein shakes, peanut butter, and even a little chicken today. Not sure what's up.

Low blood sugar?

Jan 25, 2018#121

GasBandit

Dei said:
Low blood sugar?

I don't know how that could be, this has probably been my most calorie-rich day since the surgery.

But it's hard to brain right now.

Jan 25, 2018#122

Dei

GasBandit said:
I don't know how that could be, this has probably been my most calorie-rich day since the surgery.

But it's hard to brain right now.

Try to have some fruit for your next meal and see if you feel better. Can you have fruit juice instead of water?

Jan 25, 2018#123

GasBandit

Dei said:
Try to have some fruit for your next meal and see if you feel better. Can you have fruit juice instead of water?

I think that is how I got into this mess in the first place.

GasBandit said:
I think I didn't get enough calories last night, and this morning I'm paying for it.

What'd I have?

About 4 ounces of mixed fruit (Pineapple, peach, pear).

It was good. It was filling. It was about 70 calories and contained no protein whatsoever.

But yeah, I can have fruit juice, in addition to water.

Jan 25, 2018#124

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
Welp, I just crashed, somewhere around 4:00 I think. I just woke up with my head on my desk. I haven't been this tired since my first week back to work. And I've had 2 protein shakes, peanut butter, and even a little chicken today. Not sure what's up.

Healing up after surgery is probably just as metabolism-intensive as healing up after a workout.
You probably just need food and sleep. Try not to do either while behind the wheel.

--Patrick

Jan 25, 2018#125

Dei

GasBandit said:
I think that is how I got into this mess in the first place.

But yeah, I can have fruit juice, in addition to water.

Replacing one meal with fruit should not completely wipe you out unless you were dramatically under caloried. Because of the water content in fruit I wonder if you could replace one of your water times with fruit if you are eating fruit twice in one day.

I would also recommend asking your doctor/dietician for a specific eating schedule if you find yourself struggling, and also let them know that you are struggling to see if it's normal.

Jan 26, 2018#126

Denbrought

Could you be low on electrolytes or just salt? You've mentioned a multivitamin, but you could still be running low on sodium/potassium/magnesium/etc due to how little food you get. There's the little packets of them you can buy at pharmacies, or something pre-mixed like Powerade Zero.

+1 on talking with your doctors if possible, or going to a walk-in clinic to check your vitals if this continues.

Jan 26, 2018#127

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Could you be low on electrolytes or just salt? You've mentioned a multivitamin, but you could still be running low on sodium/potassium/magnesium/etc due to how little food you get. There's the little packets of them you can buy at pharmacies, or something pre-mixed like Powerade Zero.

+1 on talking with your doctors if possible, or going to a walk-in clinic to check your vitals if this continues.

With all the peanut butter I'm eating, I doubt it's low sodium.

As for the rest, I'm getting 400mg of magnesium a day, but curiously, only 99mg of potassium, now that I look at the label.

Explains some of the cramps I've been experiencing in my legs recently.

Anyway I'm feeling better today. And it's friday! That means breakfast burrito day at work! Eggs! Woo!

Jan 26, 2018#128

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
As for the rest, I'm getting 400mg of magnesium a day, but curiously, only 99mg of potassium, now that I look at the label.

Haha yeeeaaaah, there's either a law, an industry regulation, or a standard where 100+mg is supposed to be prescription-only in supplements due to the overdose risk (it's slightly more lethal than table salt by weight when ingested).

I would recommend picking up a tub of either Morton Lite Salt (50/50 table salt/potassium salt) or any brand of K-Salt (potassium salt). I like Morton's because I can't taste the potassium when mixed into food. The average American diet (and mine doubly so due to keto woes) seems pretty potassium-deficient, I don't think I've had a cramp since switching to it, and it's been years.

Jan 26, 2018#129

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Haha yeeeaaaah, there's either a law, an industry regulation, or a standard where 100+mg is supposed to be prescription-only in supplements due to the overdose risk (it's slightly more lethal than table salt by weight when ingested).

I would recommend picking up a tub of either Morton Lite Salt (50/50 table salt/potassium salt) or any brand of K-Salt (potassium salt). I like Morton's because I can't taste the potassium when mixed into food. The average American diet (and mine doubly so due to keto woes) seems pretty potassium-deficient, I don't think I've had a cramp since switching to it, and it's been years.

Or I could start eating bananas.

Well, half a banana, probably.

Jan 26, 2018#130

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
Or I could start eating bananas.

Well, half a banana, probably.

To meet the U.S. RDA for potassium from bananas alone you'd need to eat about 10 a day. Or you could figure out how much potassium is in your current diet, and supplement with salt

Jan 26, 2018#131

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
To meet the U.S. RDA for potassium from bananas alone you'd need to eat about 10 a day. Or you could figure out how much potassium is in your current diet, and supplement with salt

That's odd, I thought one banana had like 400mg of potassium.

Jan 26, 2018#132

Denbrought

GasBandit said:
That's odd, I thought one banana had like 400mg of potassium.

Yeah, but see the link. Every population study I've seen shows that nearly everyone in the U.S. is not getting enough.

bolded relevant parts said:
On the basis of available data, an Adequate Intake (AI) for potassium is set at 4.7 g (120 mmol)/day for all adults. This level of dietary intake (i.e., from foods) should maintain lower blood pressure levels, reduce the adverse effects of sodium chloride intake on blood pressure, reduce the risk of recurrent kidney stones, and possibly decrease bone loss. Because of insufficient data from dose-response trials demonstrating these effects, an Estimated Average Requirement (EAR) could not be established, and thus a Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) could not be derived.

Jan 26, 2018#133

GasBandit

Oh man, I love scrambled eggs. SO much.

Jan 26, 2018#134

GasBandit's Stomach

MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDADA!

Jan 26, 2018#135

GasBandit

Jan 26, 2018#136

strawman

GasBandit said:
That's odd, I thought one banana had like 400mg of potassium.

Yep - 422mg for a medium size banana.

The RDA is 4.7g.

Jan 26, 2018#137

PatrThom

Oranges and watermelon are also good sources of potassium.

—Patrick

Jan 28, 2018#138

GasBandit

Oog. You know, these days, yogurt seems to make me burp more than the fizziest soda ever did.

Jan 30, 2018#139

GasBandit

Ok, now that I'm getting my energy back to some degree, I also note I've switched from losing a pound a day to a pound every 3 or 4 days. DAS IST NICHT AUSGESEICHNET! I mean, it's to be expected I'd put back on some water weight, but this has been the trend for at least a week, and that's too long. Time to switch gears again. In addition to starting to try to exercise again (grumble), and back off the food some and go back to shakes and (ugh) yogurt. With my tiny, confused stomach, hopefully the 500 calorie diet won't take as much willpower to stick to as it used to. I'd like to get back to losing 5ish pounds a week.

Jan 30, 2018#140

Denbrought

Has one of your doctors given you an exercise plan? If not, what do you plan on doing?

Jan 30, 2018#141

GasBandit

Denbrought said:
Has one of your doctors given you an exercise plan? If not, what do you plan on doing?

I've got 2 years of access to the hospital's rehab center with the treadmills and pool and machines and whatnot that I intend to take full advantage of, but first thing's first, I need to build stamina so that I can do more than walk 30 yards. So, I'm going to start small with walking, and as soon as I can make it around the block, I'm going to see what trouble I can get into over at the rehab center.

Jan 30, 2018#142

strawman

GasBandit said:
I'd like to get back to losing 5ish pounds a week.

I'm sure you've already done the calculation, but for my own amusement here's my understanding and hopefully you can correct me where I'm wrong, and I'll assume myself 'cause I don't know some things about you:

Humans need to burn about 3,600 calories to lose a pound.
A sedentary male (ie, no active exercise program, spends majority of day sitting or lying) above 30 years old burns about 2,300 calories a day.

So if I eat nothing all week, I'll burn 2,300 just by existing, weekly burning 16,100, which is 4.47lb.

Now this doesn't actually work because your body does strange things when you have such a huge deficit, but so far as I know you can't lose 5lb a week without an extensive exercise program no matter what changes you make to your diet - except in the very early diet stages while your body is still running as though it has access to nearly limitless calories and burning more than 2,300 daily.

Every fast loss diet program only works for a few weeks.

Your 500 calorie diet, without much change in exercise, leads to about a 3.5lb week loss, which is only a little more than what you've found you're getting (2lb/week).

So while the early weight loss you experienced was nice, and you'd like to keep it up, I think you're much better off spending time on the diet you're going to have to maintain for the rest of your life. Your body will lose the weight slowly and you'll achieve a weight stasis that matches your intake and exercise level.

GasBandit said:
I've got 2 years of access to the hospital's rehab center with the treadmills and pool and machines and whatnot that I intend to take full advantage of, but first thing's first, I need to build stamina so that I can do more than walk 30 yards. So, I'm going to start small with walking, and as soon as I can make it around the block, I'm going to see what trouble I can get into over at the rehab center.

I'd advise you to go regardless of your stamina. Make it a priority, and a habit. Take full advantage of it starting now, because every day you're not using it is money down the drain, and because the little roadblock you've placed before you get there may lead to other excuses not to go down the road - moving the goalposts. Perhaps you've already moved them from "wait until the doctor says I can take a shower/get in water".

Don't let that happen. Even if it's just going, walking into the center, sitting for 30 minutes, then walking back out, make it important enough in your schedule that it becomes a habit - preferably a daily one. Turn on youtube or your favorite show, set the treadmill to a creeping slow walk, hold onto the bars and see if you can distract yourself enough to go beyond those 30 yards today.

You'll recover more quickly if you use the resources provided as soon as possible for as long as possible than if you wait.

Jan 30, 2018#143

Dei

Plus, there will be people at the rehab center who can help you out with seeing setting up a slow exercise regimen I'm sure.

Also, were you told you should be losing 5 pounds a week once you get settled from surgery, or are you just impatient?

Jan 30, 2018#144

GasBandit

stienman said:
I'm sure you've already done the calculation, but for my own amusement here's my understanding and hopefully you can correct me where I'm wrong, and I'll assume myself 'cause I don't know some things about you:

Humans need to burn about 3,600 calories to lose a pound.
A sedentary male (ie, no active exercise program, spends majority of day sitting or lying) above 30 years old burns about 2,300 calories a day.

So if I eat nothing all week, I'll burn 2,300 just by existing, weekly burning 16,100, which is 4.47lb.

Now this doesn't actually work because your body does strange things when you have such a huge deficit, but so far as I know you can't lose 5lb a week without an extensive exercise program no matter what changes you make to your diet - except in the very early diet stages while your body is still running as though it has access to nearly limitless calories and burning more than 2,300 daily.

Every fast loss diet program only works for a few weeks.

Your 500 calorie diet, without much change in exercise, leads to about a 3.5lb week loss, which is only a little more than what you've found you're getting (2lb/week).

So while the early weight loss you experienced was nice, and you'd like to keep it up, I think you're much better off spending time on the diet you're going to have to maintain for the rest of your life. Your body will lose the weight slowly and you'll achieve a weight stasis that matches your intake and exercise level.

I'd advise you to go regardless of your stamina. Make it a priority, and a habit. Take full advantage of it starting now, because every day you're not using it is money down the drain, and because the little roadblock you've placed before you get there may lead to other excuses not to go down the road - moving the goalposts. Perhaps you've already moved them from "wait until the doctor says I can take a shower/get in water".

Don't let that happen. Even if it's just going, walking into the center, sitting for 30 minutes, then walking back out, make it important enough in your schedule that it becomes a habit - preferably a daily one. Turn on youtube or your favorite show, set the treadmill to a creeping slow walk, hold onto the bars and see if you can distract yourself enough to go beyond those 30 yards today.

You'll recover more quickly if you use the resources provided as soon as possible for as long as possible than if you wait.

I hear ya bro, thing is, today was the first day I was able to take a shower without needing a 30 minute recovery/rest period after (and I have yet to be able to complete a shower without sitting down to rest partway through). So, yeah, exercise is on the list, but I'd prefer not to collapse away from home, nam'sayin? I mean, just last thursday I still needed a nap at work, and all that is is sitting down.[DOUBLEPOST=1517340934,1517340788][/DOUBLEPOST]

Dei said:
Plus, there will be people at the rehab center who can help you out with seeing setting up a slow exercise regimen I'm sure.

Also, were you told you should be losing 5 pounds a week once you get settled from surgery, or are you just impatient?

That's how much I was losing during my last major weight loss regimen, even without surgery. I expect it to slow down to 2/3 pounds a week eventually, but right now it should be more.

Jan 30, 2018#145

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
I've switched from losing a pound a day to a pound every 3 or 4 days.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. A “healthy” rate of weight loss for people on medically controlled diets (who have not had some form of bariatric surgery) is 2oz/day, but you are saying that 4-5oz/day isn’t fast enough? Are you TRYING to turn yourself from an Ewok into a Shar-Pei?

—Patrick

Jan 30, 2018#146

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. A “healthy” rate of weight loss for people on medically controlled diets (who have not had some form of bariatric surgery) is 2oz/day, but you are saying that 4-5oz/day isn’t fast enough? Are you TRYING to turn yourself from an Ewok into a Shar-Pei?

—Patrick

Like I told Dei, I'm just going by previous experience. 10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks. And yeah, the main trick is to keep it to 500 calories/day. Though, I expect there are gonna be a lot of cheat days.

Jan 30, 2018#147

PatrThom

Thing is, you don’t want your calorie deficit to be so big and your -dy/dx so high that the safeties kick in and clamp down on your metabolism. If you keep it slow and steady, you can boil your own subconscious frog and not lose the benefits of having a “normal” metabolism.

—Patrick

Jan 30, 2018#148

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
and not loose the benefits of having a “normal” metabolism.

—Patrick

I kinda think that ship sailed 5 years ago at least.

Jan 30, 2018#149

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
I kinda think that ship sailed 5 years ago at least.

1) I meant “lose” not “loose”
2) Sailed, maybe, but not sunk.

—Patrick

Jan 30, 2018#150

GasBandit

I absolutely cannot be trusted with peanut butter.

Jan 30, 2018#151

Emrys

What are you doing to that poor, innocent peanut butter?

Jan 30, 2018#152

GasBandit

Emrys said:
What are you doing to that poor, innocent peanut butter?

You ask such loaded questions.

The answer is rather mundane, though - exactly what my doctor and dietician told me not to do. IE - "grazing." I had it at work because I needed something for quick energy. But in the last 3 days, I've polished off half the jar thanks to just getting a tiny bit whenever I started to feel the least bit off. I'm explicitly not supposed to "graze" and that's exactly what that is.

The jar is supposed to have 14 servings. So that means 7 or so over the last 3 days, which means about 400 calories a day give or take.

So, I went to the store tonight and got things to eat as meals instead of unmeasurable "a knifetip here and there" stuff. The portions are all so small it looks like I am shopping for a child, but 7 oz is pretty much my limit. I will put the peanut butter off limits starting tomorrow.

Jan 30, 2018#153

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks.

--Patrick

Jan 31, 2018#154

GasBandit

Remember when I used to be able to eat a pound of carrots no problem?

2 ounces now does the trick.

(Oh yeah, the scale came in yesterday btw)

Jan 31, 2018#155

GasBandit

Blugh.. also it is enough to cause really unpleasant nausea.

Jan 31, 2018#156

GasBandit's Stomach

STOP FEEDING ME CARROTS, WTF, ARE YOU RETARDED?

Jan 31, 2018#157

blotsfan

I didn't know his stomach knew English.

Jan 31, 2018#158

GasBandit

blotsfan said:
I didn't know his stomach knew English.

Vitriol is the universal language.

Jan 31, 2018#159

mikerc

GasBandit said:
Like I told Dei, I'm just going by previous experience. 10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks. And yeah, the main trick is to keep it to 500 calories/day. Though, I expect there are gonna be a lot of cheat days.

Dude, I'm only a few months younger than you & I put weight on easier and find it harder to shift compared to just 5 years ago despite not changing my normal diet / levels of excercise. Expecting your body to act the same in your late 30's compared to your late 20's is dumb. Take the slower but steady weight loss that you can keep over the quick but goes straight back on option.

Jan 31, 2018#160

PatrThom

mikerc said:
Take the slower but steady weight loss that you can keep over the quick but goes straight back on option.

Hey, Gas.

If you don't want to believe us, ask the dietician. Let us know what kind of answer you get.

--Patrick

Jan 31, 2018#161

GasBandit

On the one hand, you both make rational, common sense assertions.

On the other, however, I'm impatient.

Jan 31, 2018#162

blotsfan

If you want quicker weight loss, a chainsaw might do the trick.

Jan 31, 2018#163

strawman

Cancer and significant 3rd degree body burns will also result in significant, quick weight loss.

Jan 31, 2018#164

PatrThom

As will tapeworms, malaria, and abject poverty.
There are side effects, though.

GasBandit said:
On the one hand, you both make rational, common sense assertions.

Also, it's five or six of us, now.

--Patrick

Jan 31, 2018#165

Dei

PatrThom said:
As will tapeworms, malaria, and abject poverty.
There are side effects, though.

Also, it's five or six of us, now.

--Patrick

But if he keeps starving himself, he'll never get his energy levels back up, then he'll have the joy of muscle atrophy as he keeps coming up with excuses to not use the gym.

Jan 31, 2018#166

GasBandit

Dei said:
But if he keeps starving himself, he'll never get his energy levels back up, then he'll have the joy of muscle atrophy as he keeps coming up with excuses to not use the gym.

Look, there's a difference between "starving myself" and "deciding not to compulsively eat 1/4 jar of peanut butter over the course of a day."

Jan 31, 2018#167

Ravenpoe

GasBandit said:
Look, there's a difference between "starving myself" and "deciding not to compulsively eat 1/4 jar of peanut butter over the course of a day."

How do you even do that with such a tiny stomach?

I mean, I'm actually impressed.

Jan 31, 2018#168

GasBandit

Ravenpoe said:
How do you even do that with such a tiny stomach?

I mean, I'm actually impressed.

One small marble-sized bit at a time, every 15 mins or so, over the course of 8 hours.

The upside was, though, it really boosted my water intake, and got me the closest I've been to a healthy hydration level since the surgery.[DOUBLEPOST=1517440496,1517440327][/DOUBLEPOST]Anyway, I'm happy to say I have had absolutely no peanut butter today, I feel absolutely fine, and my current calorie count is 383 (I plan to have another 200-300 for dinner).

Jan 31, 2018#169

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
...On the other, however, I'm impatient.

Yes, so impatient that you're apparently willing to shorten your own lifespan.
That sort of impatience...is harmful.

--Patrick

Jan 31, 2018#170

Dave

GasBandit said:
I absolutely cannot be trusted with peanut butter.

MR. Peanutbutter?

Feb 2, 2018#171

GasBandit's Stomach

Ha ha ha ha, guess which colossal idiot had to make a mad dash for the bathroom because he thought he could handle breakfast like a normal person? Better luck next time, little baby burpy!

Haven't you figured out you're MY bitch now? After all these years of putting up with all the horrible stuff you sent my way, I'm going to enjoy making you miserable. You worthless sack of shit.

Feb 2, 2018#172

GasBandit

*whimper*

Feb 2, 2018#173

blotsfan

Huh, for some reason I assumed the "gasbandit's stomach" account wasn't actually gasbandit.

Feb 2, 2018#174

GasBandit

blotsfan said:
Huh, for some reason I assumed the "gasbandit's stomach" account wasn't actually gasbandit.

I'm starting to think it's the GasBandity-est part of GasBandit.

Feb 2, 2018#175

Dave

blotsfan said:
Huh, for some reason I assumed the "gasbandit's stomach" account wasn't actually gasbandit.

I had as well. I thought it was someone fucking with him.

Feb 2, 2018#176

GasBandit

Nope, it was me humorously portraying my discomfort.

Feb 2, 2018#177

PatrThom

blotsfan said:
Huh, for some reason I assumed the "gasbandit's stomach" account wasn't actually gasbandit.

I did until the second or third appearance.
I was disappointed because I thought, “That shoulda been me!”

—Patrick

Feb 2, 2018#178

DarkAudit

I got it at omae wa mou shindeiru.

Feb 2, 2018#179

PatrThom

DarkAudit said:
I got it at omae wa mou shindeiru.

That was when I started suspecting.

--Patrick

Feb 2, 2018#180

WasabiPoptart

I'm watching some kind of weird psychodrama session play out in an online forum. Did I drop LSD at some point?

Feb 2, 2018#181

Emrys

WasabiPoptart said:
I'm watching some kind of weird psychodrama session play out in an online forum. Did I drop LSD at some point?

Please allow me to refer you to the last line in my signature.

Feb 5, 2018#182

GasBandit

Went to a super bowl party yesterday.

I tried a pig in a blanket. It was good!

I tried some doritos. They were good!

I tried some fancy buffalo chicken dip. It was good!

I tried a single pizza roll.

Feb 5, 2018#183

GasBandit's Stomach

GasBandit said:
I tried a single pizza roll.

And then everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

May 18, 2018#184

GasBandit

Well, a lot of stuff got lost in the 3 month wipe... I'll repost the progress pictures later, maybe when I hit the next milestone. At any rate, I had a week where I got stuck and didn't lose anything. I blame beef jerky and triscuits, which are both doctor and dietician approved, but apparently also both make me soak up water like a dry sponge. Once I figured that out, and quit eatin' it, it started to jostle loose again and I'm back on track. After a week of stalling out, I've lost 2 more pounds in 3 days.

May 18, 2018#185

PatrThom

Thanks for reminding me about this thread.
Which is harder to get used to? The new diet? Or the new quantities?

—Patrick

May 18, 2018#186

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Thanks for reminding me about this thread.
Which is harder to get used to? The new diet? Or the new quantities?

—Patrick

I've pretty much settled into a routine, but every so often I still get tripped up by the quantities and only realize too late that I've eaten too much. The triscuits in particular are really bad for that.

The REAL thing that is hard to get used to is having to drink water non-stop if I don't want my colon shredded out by trying to crap asphalt chunks.

May 18, 2018#187

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
The triscuits in particular are really bad for that.

I got news for you, the caraway rye Triscuits will do that to anyone.
“Mmm, these are delicious. Wait, why am I feeling the bottom of the box already? This box was full just 30 minutes ago...”

“Oh...”

**OMINOUS RUMBLING**

“Oh no...”

—Patrick

May 18, 2018#188

Gared

Stay away from the brown rice version. I really wanted them to be good, since they're higher in fiber and lower in carbs, but they just aren't.

May 18, 2018#189

Frank

Hey, I hadn't posted in here because I don't usually look at this forum, but I just wanted to say that congratulations to you on this journey. My cousin has been going through the same stuff. He started at 600 pounds in the last two years and is down to 350 now. Anyone that jostles folk for getting bariatric surgery can fuck right off, it's such a life changing, difficult decision and path.

May 19, 2018#190

PatrThom

Gared said:
Stay away from the brown rice version. I really wanted them to be good, since they're higher in fiber and lower in carbs, but they just aren't.

The fig & honey-flavored ones are ... interesting. Not good, not bad, just unusual.

--Patrick

May 19, 2018#191

Gared

PatrThom said:
The fig & honey-flavored ones are ... interesting. Not good, not bad, just unusual.

--Patrick

Yeah, if I discovered I had celiac disease and switched from regular Triscuits to those, I'd be very, very disappointed.

Jul 11, 2018#192

GasBandit

So my brother surprised me by coming through town today. He wanted some BBQ, so I took him to my favorite BBQ joint here, C&J's.

I'd forgotten that I hadn't actually tried anything there since my surgery. But I selected a few things I thought I might safely eat.

Thought I was gonna die.

There is literally nothing served there that I can keep down. Everything I tried sent me to the bathroom to eject it back up almost immediately. I just... can't... handle... any amount of grease any more. Even the Mac & Cheese was too much! Even the mashed potatoes!

And I used to love C&J's

But I can tell he's definitely my brother. He introduced me to his girlfriend, Jezebel. Yes, that's her name. And yes, she's got long, bright, red-orange hair.

Jul 11, 2018#193

drifter

From what I understand the secret to a good restaurant is generally a shitload of butter.

Jul 11, 2018#194

PatrThom

drifter said:
From what I understand the secret to a good restaurant is generally a shitload of butter.

I've heard that somewhere.

--Patrick

Jul 11, 2018#195

Gared

Butter and salt. Are your burgers a little bland, chicken a little lackluster, roast a little dry, or potatoes a little pale? Just add butter and salt. Or, salted butter. Ever have chicken in a restaurant and it came with a wonderful "pan sauce" that wasn't quite a gravy, but wasn't just chicken ju either? It was almost certainly the juices of the chicken, white wine, salt, pepper, whatever herbs they seasoned the chicken with, simmered until reduced 2/3, then the heat is dropped to low and a stick of butter is cut into it, one tablespoon at a time, until the sauce thickens slightly and takes on a lovely satiny appearance. Butter.

Jul 11, 2018#196

Tinwhistler

Gared said:
It was almost certainly the juices of the chicken, white wine, salt, pepper, whatever herbs they seasoned the chicken with, simmered until reduced 2/3, then the heat is dropped to low and a stick of butter is cut into it, one tablespoon at a time, until the sauce thickens slightly and takes on a lovely satiny appearance. Butter.

That's almost exactly the recipe for buerre blanc. Swap out the chicken juices for shallots. Incidentally, it's my wife's favorite sauce.

Jul 27, 2018#197

GasBandit

Me, this morning - "Oh man.. I've actually GAINED three pounds over the course of this week! That's not good! Hrmm... I seem to recall I haven't actually.. uh.. gone number two this week, either. At all. Maybe I better do something about that.

Colace Stool Softener - "I can take care of that."

My Stomach - What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in ...

Me -

.... so... yeah, it's... uh... been a day.

Jul 27, 2018#198

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
it's... uh... been a day.

...a spectacularly shitty day, I'll bet.

--Patrick

Aug 15, 2018#199

blotsfan

Are you still doing exercises at the rehab center?

Aug 15, 2018#200

GasBandit

When the shit hit the fan at work, I stopped going. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now. At least my interruption hasn't seemed to have too much of an adverse effect on my weight loss progress. I expect my next batch of progress pics within the next couple weeks.

Aug 27, 2018#201

PatrThom

Hey, Gas. Don't end up like this guy:

Explosive poop-packed “megacolon” prompts warning from doctors

Doctors are urging caution after a 24-year-old UK man underwent emergency surgery when they discovered that his severely enlarged colon, filled with feces, had burst.

--Patrick

Sep 7, 2018#202

GasBandit

I've hit my next milestone, but I notice my previous batch of progress pics was eaten by the Dave-ening of 2018, so here we go again from the top.

When Pauline died in 2013, I started putting on weight like crazy (really, I started before that, when her health started getting bad). Stress eating graduated into depression, and I was on the heavy side to begin with, and by August 2017, I had gone from ~270 pounds to 435 pounds. That's me, on the right.

I November of that year, I went on a crash diet to prepare for the Gastric Sleeve surgery, and lost 25 pounds, then had the surgery in Jan 2018.

April 2018, I weighed 350.

5 more months have passed, and 50 more pounds have come off. Here's me, today (September, 2018), weighing 300.

Over 100 gone, and here's looking forward to the next 100 to go.

And yes, I know... I need more/smaller clothes

Sep 7, 2018#203

GasBandit

Oh, and I forgot - my MyFitnessPal weight chart -

Sep 7, 2018#204

Denbrought

Maybe keep some of your bigger clothes so you can do these someday

Sep 7, 2018#205

blotsfan

GasBandit said:
And yes, I know... I need more/smaller clothes

Hang onto at least one outfit though. I know whenever I feel like I fucked up after eating too much or something I put on a the one pair of my old pants that I still have and it makes me feel so much better.

Edit: highly specific ninja by @Denbrought

Sep 7, 2018#206

GasBandit

blotsfan said:
Hang onto at least one outfit though. I know whenever I feel like I fucked up after eating too much or something I put on a the one pair of my old pants that I still have and it makes me feel so much better.

Edit: highly specific ninja by @Denbrought

I haven't adjusted my seat or steering wheel since starting this, and where it used to be digging into my stomach, now I can easily fit a balled up fist between the wheel and myself now, longest-dimension, with no pressure whatsoever. #feelsgoodman

Sep 7, 2018#207

Dei

I don't think you need to buy a bunch of new clothes yet, but maybe try to keep one shirt that fits well in case you have to pretend to care.

Sep 7, 2018#208

PatrThom

Those shoes look really comfy.

—Patrick

Sep 7, 2018#209

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Those shoes look really comfy.

—Patrick

They're the best I've ever owned, I love them. And you can only buy them in Canada (at Mark's), so I have to paypal a Canadian halforumite to go buy them for me and ship them.

Sep 7, 2018#210

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
They're the best I've ever owned, I love them. And you can only buy them in Canada (at Mark's), so I have to paypal a Canadian halforumite to go buy them for me and ship them.

Oh, I remember.

—Patrick

Sep 7, 2018#211

Frank

Man, Mark's does have some really comfy shoes. I always get my shoes there.

They're also one of the only stores that carry 14s.

Sep 7, 2018#212

PatrThom

Still partial to SAS and Finns, myself.
SO hard to find anything with a wide enough toe box that isn’t either a Birk or a sandal.

—Patrick

Jan 9, 2019#213

GasBandit

Today was my 1 year follow-up visit to the doctor. I've lost 150 pounds over the year. My blood pressure is now 125/47 (that second number seems kinda low to me but the doc said it isn't anything to worry about unless I start showing symptoms of something). The holiday season brought my weight loss to a standstill, but hey, at least it didn't go back up.

So, time to get back on the horse and hit the gym and get back on the diet wagon after a month of carbs and sweets. I got a suit in my closet from college that I'd like to fit back into by this time next year, and I weighed about 220 back then. So! Round 2, fight!

Jan 9, 2019#214

Squidleybits

That’s fantastic!!

I also have super low blood pressure and they don’t want to treat me either unless they have to. My only advice from my family doctor ? Eat more salt. So weird.

Keep an eye on it though, especially if you start having issues when you stand.

Jan 9, 2019#215

PatrThom

Squidleybits said:
My only advice from my family doctor ? Eat more salt. So weird.

Salt is required for good health. Maybe he just thinks you aren't retaining enough fluids. Might be all the caffeine you drink is acting as a diuretic.

As for @GasBandit and his jerky treatment, only lead I noticed is that excessive mustard can cause "...lacrimation, hyperalgesia, inflammation, and neuroexcitation." So... watery eyes, increased sensitivity to pain, swelling/flush, and symptoms associated with panic attack. I couldn't find anything online that definitively drew a line between "spices" and "Bohemian spices" except for the prevalence of (brown) mustard and savory but what's gonna happen if your stick test says you can't eat Coney Dogs? (not that you can eat an entire one any more).

--Patrick

Jan 9, 2019#216

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
As for @GasBandit and his jerky treatment, only lead I noticed is that excessive mustard can cause "...lacrimation, hyperalgesia, inflammation, and neuroexcitation." So... watery eyes, increased sensitivity to pain, swelling/flush, and symptoms associated with panic attack. I couldn't find anything online that definitively drew a line between "spices" and "Bohemian spices" except for the prevalence of (brown) mustard and savory but what's gonna happen if your stick test says you can't eat Coney Dogs? (not that you can eat an entire one any more).

I ate a lot of regular beef jerky last night and was just fine (Dad had gotten me two packs, one regular one "Bohemian Garlic").... so I'm guessing it's whatever was bohemian. I'll just deal with it when I learn what it is I'm allergic to. I mean, I'm already learning to live without bacon, sausage, and barbecue because the grease makes me vomit within minutes.... so I guess coneys wouldn't be the straw that broke any camels.

If it had been ALL beef jerky though... that might have been cause to just buy a bunch of benadryl tablets because at SOME point LIFE DOES STOP HAVING MEANING otherwise.

Jan 9, 2019#217

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
If it had been ALL beef jerky though... that might have been cause to just buy a bunch of benadryl tablets because at SOME point LIFE DOES STOP HAVING MEANING otherwise.

https://www.connoisseurusveg.com/spicy-sriracha-tofu-jerky/

--Patrick

Jan 10, 2019#218

Squidleybits

You mean invest in many Epipens

Jan 10, 2019#219

GasBandit

Squidleybits said:
You mean invest in many Epipens

Imma wait until the doctor actually tells me I have an allergy that needs one of those, before I go dropping 5 hundos every six months on Shkreli McPunchableface.

Jan 10, 2019#220

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
Imma wait until the doctor actually tells me I have an allergy that needs one of those, before I go dropping 5 hundos every six months on Shkreli McPunchableface.

Shkreli was a (despicable) hedge fund guy. You're thinking of Mylan CEO Heather Bresch.
I mean, not that you wouldn't punch both of them, given the opportunity.

--Patrick

Jan 10, 2019#221

GasBandit

PatrThom said:
Shkreli was a (despicable) hedge fund guy. You're thinking of Mylan CEO Heather Bresch.
I mean, not that you wouldn't punch both of them, given the opportunity.

--Patrick

Yeah, that's the one.

Jan 10, 2019#222

DarkAudit

GasBandit said:
Yeah, that's the one.

Daughter of Mojo Manchin, fuckwit Senator.

May 18, 2019#223

GasBandit

So it's been a while since my last update, and I still haven't hit my next milestone (in fact, eating regular food for lunch now has put 5 pounds back on me because now I'm actually eating things with salt again, even if it is just veggies), but today I finally had to bite the bullet and go shopping for new pants that fit me, since I'd only had one pair that "kinda" fit me, and I can't dress like a beach bum at work any more.

I've gone from a 60 inch waist to a 46 inch waist. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.

May 19, 2019#224

GasBandit

Figured I should probably follow that up with a picture of some sort... so here's 274 pounds (161 pounds gone and still losing)

May 19, 2019#225

Dave

Okay I'll ask. You look great, but what's up with the discoloration on your legs? Birth marks or bruising?

May 19, 2019#226

GasBandit

Dave said:
Okay I'll ask. You look great, but what's up with the discoloration on your legs? Birth marks or bruising?

Chronic Venous Insufficiency.

Weight loss is actually helping with that, too, though... I haven't had an open ulcer since the surgery.

May 19, 2019#227

Ravenpoe

GasBandit said:
Figured I should probably follow that up with a picture of some sort... so here's 274 pounds (161 pounds gone and still losing)

View attachment 31299

I see tits and they're not yours. Congrats!