The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
Dave gonna need this: https://www.nebraskamed.com/burn-careThey loved you and they voted for Trump.
Just let that sink in
Then just go to /r/melts
Dave
Staff member
Nah. I read a room. I know the audience. I went lowest common denominator. They were - for the most part - conservative, christian, Trump-loving republicans. They could not tell that I'm an atheist, Trump-hating liberal. Because they didn't ask and I didn't bring it up.
I need to hit the gym again. I pulled a muscle while taking a frozen pizza out of the display case.
Dave
Staff member
I get winded putting on my socks.
Perhaps he's chasing after them.
GasBandit
Staff member
When Dave’s blue
Up in his face
And it’s due to
Having to chase
His footwear ‘round...
It’s trying to wear him down
—Patrick
We love you, Dave!
It'd have been easier on my ears if your first line had been more something like "So Patrick, he thought that he knew". I guess it's possible to read your original in the proper metrum, but it just seems too short - forcing three amfibraches (I have no clue as to the English word for this, nor its pluralization) on six syllables.
Dave
Staff member
The meter fits, but it depends on how you read it. Syllables don't have to match exactly to legitimately keep proper meter.
I agree that it works, depending on how you read it. I know of other limericks with similarly-short first lines.
It is apparently “Amphibrach/amphibrachs” and I learned a new word today.
Also:
—Patrick
Apparently I missed this thread this week,
in which we mocked Dave's age in verse and prose.
I'm sorry I did not show up to speak,
'cause I, too, like to deride Ol' Rat Toes.
I hope to make it up to all you all,
by posting my bit in an old school way,
with rhyming quatrains, sexy as a doll,
iambic pentameter's here to stay.
I do recall I once said of dear Dave,
that he was old when dinosaurs were young,
that he dug out Neanderthals' first cave,
that ice age grunting is his mother tongue.
In fact, I'd say that Davey is so old, <----- The name which you will never call me again without some sort of report.
he watched amphibians first leave the sea,
and he was there when Pangaea grew cold,
he even used volcanoes to make tea.
When God Almighty uttered, "Let there be..."
Already Dave was waiting there, irate.
"Existence was just fine here with just me,
but now there's someone else here, that's just great!"
But naw, I'm only kidding, Dave, you know.
You're not as old as all the universe.
I'd say you're only eighty-four or so.
(Now I await your
curse!) 
in which we mocked Dave's age in verse and prose.
I'm sorry I did not show up to speak,
'cause I, too, like to deride Ol' Rat Toes.
I hope to make it up to all you all,
by posting my bit in an old school way,
with rhyming quatrains, sexy as a doll,
iambic pentameter's here to stay.
I do recall I once said of dear Dave,
that he was old when dinosaurs were young,
that he dug out Neanderthals' first cave,
that ice age grunting is his mother tongue.
In fact, I'd say that Davey is so old, <----- The name which you will never call me again without some sort of report.
he watched amphibians first leave the sea,
and he was there when Pangaea grew cold,
he even used volcanoes to make tea.
When God Almighty uttered, "Let there be..."
Already Dave was waiting there, irate.
"Existence was just fine here with just me,
but now there's someone else here, that's just great!"
But naw, I'm only kidding, Dave, you know.
You're not as old as all the universe.
I'd say you're only eighty-four or so.
(Now I await your
curse!)
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Thursday, house hunting, we found a place we like.
They asked a certain amount.
Friday, we offered $6k more to show a stronger bid.
They told our real estate agent if we upped it another $3k, they'd take it off the market.
Though concerned about our lender situation, we upped it by $3k.
Saturday, real estate agent called, the seller kept it on market anyway and had an open house.
Saturday night, seller says if we make the larger offer again, they'll take it off the market.
Haha, no, we're back to our original offer.
I understand there's a chance we won't get the place, but they already went back on their word once. If the open house went poorly enough for them to come back again, they can more carefully look over our original offer instead of trying to squeeze a little more from our lender. We can't let them think they can get away with whatever they want without repercussions or buying this place is going to turn into a nightmare.
They asked a certain amount.
Friday, we offered $6k more to show a stronger bid.
They told our real estate agent if we upped it another $3k, they'd take it off the market.
Though concerned about our lender situation, we upped it by $3k.
Saturday, real estate agent called, the seller kept it on market anyway and had an open house.
Saturday night, seller says if we make the larger offer again, they'll take it off the market.
Haha, no, we're back to our original offer.
I understand there's a chance we won't get the place, but they already went back on their word once. If the open house went poorly enough for them to come back again, they can more carefully look over our original offer instead of trying to squeeze a little more from our lender. We can't let them think they can get away with whatever they want without repercussions or buying this place is going to turn into a nightmare.
As someone who has recently had to deal with similar, make what you believe to be a fair offer, and if they try to dick you around on it, leave. Buyers' market, sellers' market, whatever...if you make what you believe in good faith to be a fair offer and they try to jerk you around AND you're not for some reason locked into that particular location, just take your pre-approval and go.
The same goes for cars.
--Patrick
Cajungal
Staff member
Thank you!
I don’t think this fits in a rant? But, I found out today Nicole’s already moved the fuck on from me.
I’m broken hearted. Fucking broken hearted. I’m sad.
I’m broken hearted. Fucking broken hearted. I’m sad.
It’s also worth noting that my friends rallied tonight - my best friend Raye and Riz took me to dinner then let me cry when we got back to my apartment. Then my friend Brad called me and wanted to go hang out a bar, where they were having a nerd trivia night, which was a fun time. Plus Pezzle keeping me company.
So. An emotionally hard day but I have amazing friends and will be okay.
Ya’ll are the shit.
So. An emotionally hard day but I have amazing friends and will be okay.
Ya’ll are the shit.
Oh man..I'd forgotten how much I love braunschweiger. I've recently become reacquainted with it when looking for low carb snacking options.