Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!
- Thread starter strawman
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I always hit the bed and sleep like a rock.
Until last night. I'd fallen asleep for an hour on the couch, then decided to do chores and work, getting my brain fired up like it was morning, instead of going straight to bed. So my brain then wouldn't let me sleep.
Today's going to suuuuuuck.
Until last night. I'd fallen asleep for an hour on the couch, then decided to do chores and work, getting my brain fired up like it was morning, instead of going straight to bed. So my brain then wouldn't let me sleep.
Today's going to suuuuuuck.
"Oh god, people know I'm married to him, I can't let him go out like that"
So. My bus blew up this morning.
Not Michael-Bay-explosion blow up, but "something broke, you keep driving and engine WILL stop working" blow up.
First hint was a strange smell when I had the window defogger vents on. Shrugged as nothing appeared to be wrong.
Then, about a couple miles down the road (and RIGHT in the middle of undeveloped desert), "OIL/WATER" light came on, followed by the temperature gauge shooting up and the oil pressure gauge dropping.
After a little musical chairs to get my one student off the bus and onto another, I finally checked the engine bay. The serpentine belt split, which meant no power to the oil pump, the coolant pump and fan, and probably the AC compressor as well.
So I'm sitting on the edge of a rural road in front of a trailer park that faces said undeveloped desert with a dead bus - and I'm a county away from our school district to boot.
When I finally get back to the yard, I've got maybe an hour or so before I have to come back for my PM runs (because Wednesdays are early release days, and of course today is a "extra-early release" day).
And while I'm in a spare bus, dummy me forgot to check the fuel level - and realized as I pulled in to my first school that I had just over 1/4 of a tank.
So yeah. Blew up. Sounds better.
Not Michael-Bay-explosion blow up, but "something broke, you keep driving and engine WILL stop working" blow up.
First hint was a strange smell when I had the window defogger vents on. Shrugged as nothing appeared to be wrong.
Then, about a couple miles down the road (and RIGHT in the middle of undeveloped desert), "OIL/WATER" light came on, followed by the temperature gauge shooting up and the oil pressure gauge dropping.
After a little musical chairs to get my one student off the bus and onto another, I finally checked the engine bay. The serpentine belt split, which meant no power to the oil pump, the coolant pump and fan, and probably the AC compressor as well.
So I'm sitting on the edge of a rural road in front of a trailer park that faces said undeveloped desert with a dead bus - and I'm a county away from our school district to boot.
When I finally get back to the yard, I've got maybe an hour or so before I have to come back for my PM runs (because Wednesdays are early release days, and of course today is a "extra-early release" day).
And while I'm in a spare bus, dummy me forgot to check the fuel level - and realized as I pulled in to my first school that I had just over 1/4 of a tank.
So yeah. Blew up. Sounds better.
SCENE: Tue eve. Grocery-getting day after getting out of work at 7p
Just coming off six days in a row at work, looking forward to having Wed & Thu off. It's rare for me to have two days off together, even rarer that one of them is a holiday.
Snowpocalypse happens Tue night, 90min grocery shopping after work turns into 3hrs, don't get home until midnight.
Wed - School is canceled, school play is canceled, kid is home again all day, spend morning and early afternoon getting things done - taxes, setting up scripts, laundry, entertain the kid, etc. After 5p start attacking the snow because still no snowblower and I am literally the only person in the house capable of wielding a snow shovel. That's not hyperbole nor being catty, it's just reality. I call off the shoveling after about 4hrs' worth* since I have now freed a path to my car and a path to the street. Dinner, admin duties, and then I finally get to play some video games from about 1-3 at which point I finally pass out.
Thu morning - Up 3hrs later at 6a. School is NOT canceled, but the plows have pushed 2 feet of icy scree up into our driveway and I have to get it cleared out in time to take the kid to school, which I successfully manage to chop through by 8. Take the kid to school by 8:30, finish up the grocery shopping, collect all the medications I ordered up yesterday, get myself some breakfast, home by 10:30a, go to bed finally fo' realz by 11a.
Thu afternoon - get back up 3p, squeeze in a shower and then it's off to collect son from school. Come home to finish shoveling. Kid wants to play in snow, tell him OK so long as he doesn't make more work for me. Kid immediately avalanches back over where I already shoveled and tramples down a bunch of places I haven't shoveled yet. Mad at kid. Send kid inside. Rage shovel for another couple of hours. Break my snow shovel. No, not in anger, just exceed its design specs. Go to store to buy new shovel. Amazingly, store has no shovels, just rakes, gloves, seeds, potting soil, BBQ grills & grill accessories, all the "Spring" stuff even though there is still like two feet of snow on the ground everywhere. Finally find a handful of shovels way over in the clearance corner and buy a new one. Get back home and shovel until at least we can't get sued by the mailman or passers-by and then that's all I've got in me. Come in, eat dinner, sit down and write this novelette, then go to bed, because by God I have to be back up by 6a in order to get ready for work tomorrow after my nice, relaxing couple of days off.
Fuck.
ALL.
This.
Snow.
If I had a snowblower it would've taken maybe 60-90min to do everything Wed morning, and then I could've relaxed at least SOME of this "weekend." Maybe even sat down for a movie or two with the wife and kid. But no. I am completely spent, with my next day off not coming until Monday and my earliest payday the following Friday. The wife has already been put on notice that I will not be entertaining any alternate ideas for the disposition of our tax refund until after a suitable snowblower has been acquired, and that if she wants to argue that point then I will happily go and buy a second shovel, because otherwise this weather may literally kill me.
SO.
DONE.
--Patrick
*No, not 4 straight hours of shoveling. I'm not suicidal. But yes, 4hrs spent shoveling broken up with rest, meals, etc.
Just coming off six days in a row at work, looking forward to having Wed & Thu off. It's rare for me to have two days off together, even rarer that one of them is a holiday.
Snowpocalypse happens Tue night, 90min grocery shopping after work turns into 3hrs, don't get home until midnight.
Wed - School is canceled, school play is canceled, kid is home again all day, spend morning and early afternoon getting things done - taxes, setting up scripts, laundry, entertain the kid, etc. After 5p start attacking the snow because still no snowblower and I am literally the only person in the house capable of wielding a snow shovel. That's not hyperbole nor being catty, it's just reality. I call off the shoveling after about 4hrs' worth* since I have now freed a path to my car and a path to the street. Dinner, admin duties, and then I finally get to play some video games from about 1-3 at which point I finally pass out.
Thu morning - Up 3hrs later at 6a. School is NOT canceled, but the plows have pushed 2 feet of icy scree up into our driveway and I have to get it cleared out in time to take the kid to school, which I successfully manage to chop through by 8. Take the kid to school by 8:30, finish up the grocery shopping, collect all the medications I ordered up yesterday, get myself some breakfast, home by 10:30a, go to bed finally fo' realz by 11a.
Thu afternoon - get back up 3p, squeeze in a shower and then it's off to collect son from school. Come home to finish shoveling. Kid wants to play in snow, tell him OK so long as he doesn't make more work for me. Kid immediately avalanches back over where I already shoveled and tramples down a bunch of places I haven't shoveled yet. Mad at kid. Send kid inside. Rage shovel for another couple of hours. Break my snow shovel. No, not in anger, just exceed its design specs. Go to store to buy new shovel. Amazingly, store has no shovels, just rakes, gloves, seeds, potting soil, BBQ grills & grill accessories, all the "Spring" stuff even though there is still like two feet of snow on the ground everywhere. Finally find a handful of shovels way over in the clearance corner and buy a new one. Get back home and shovel until at least we can't get sued by the mailman or passers-by and then that's all I've got in me. Come in, eat dinner, sit down and write this novelette, then go to bed, because by God I have to be back up by 6a in order to get ready for work tomorrow after my nice, relaxing couple of days off.
Fuck.
ALL.
This.
Snow.
If I had a snowblower it would've taken maybe 60-90min to do everything Wed morning, and then I could've relaxed at least SOME of this "weekend." Maybe even sat down for a movie or two with the wife and kid. But no. I am completely spent, with my next day off not coming until Monday and my earliest payday the following Friday. The wife has already been put on notice that I will not be entertaining any alternate ideas for the disposition of our tax refund until after a suitable snowblower has been acquired, and that if she wants to argue that point then I will happily go and buy a second shovel, because otherwise this weather may literally kill me.
SO.
DONE.
--Patrick
*No, not 4 straight hours of shoveling. I'm not suicidal. But yes, 4hrs spent shoveling broken up with rest, meals, etc.
Pud is my baby. You be nice!
So I had finally fallen asleep around eleven the other night, and like half an hour later my phone starts buzzing annoying with an emergency alert. Why the fuck are the police interrupting my sleep to tell me a young girl has been abducted by her homicidal father? What's it to me?
. . . There are apparently a lot of assholes in my province who actually think that way, to the point where they called the police to complain. I really though we were better than that. But nope. One more reason for the rest of the country to hate us
. . . There are apparently a lot of assholes in my province who actually think that way, to the point where they called the police to complain. I really though we were better than that. But nope. One more reason for the rest of the country to hate us
My cat's abdomen started swelling up two weeks ago, accompanied by increasing lethargy and decreased hunger. Multiple visits to the vet (lot of tests and several medications), and we still have no idea what's going on. He eventually completely quit eating and his abdomen keeps filling up with fluid (despite a draining and starting furosemide), so I'm having to force-feed him emergency food (and his meds) 4 times a day, which is both exhausting and heartbreaking.
Since my vet ran out of ideas, he sent me to a specialist/ER referral-only hospital. They're keeping him overnight and they'll be doing more tests when their internist arrives. Several of the options they floated are not treatable. Leaving him behind there really finished fucking with me. It's probably not cancer (cytology negative), heart disease (looks normal on x-rays), or renal disease (fluid doesn't match)... Possibly some sort of weirdo infection, FIP, or who the fuck knows.
At least he's not in any pain, according to every veterinarian that's evaluated him, just tired and annoyed.
Anyway, I'm $2000 in the hole thus far, and I'm going to eat my feelings dusted on a frozen pizza.
Since my vet ran out of ideas, he sent me to a specialist/ER referral-only hospital. They're keeping him overnight and they'll be doing more tests when their internist arrives. Several of the options they floated are not treatable. Leaving him behind there really finished fucking with me. It's probably not cancer (cytology negative), heart disease (looks normal on x-rays), or renal disease (fluid doesn't match)... Possibly some sort of weirdo infection, FIP, or who the fuck knows.
At least he's not in any pain, according to every veterinarian that's evaluated him, just tired and annoyed.
Anyway, I'm $2000 in the hole thus far, and I'm going to eat my feelings dusted on a frozen pizza.
90% it's carcinomatosis throughout the fat in the abdominal cavity, with the liver probably affected, and no treatment worth trying. 10% it's lymphoma, and aggressive chemotherapy could buy him upwards of 6-12mo at a reduced quality of life. Internist advised to go for palliative because of his age and the sheer amount of cancer found. He says steroids and GI medication might get him feeling better for anywhere between a day and a few weeks (months if the DM feels kind), but it'll make treatment much harder (steroid helps cancer) so the next step is euthanasia. I don't think I want to put Ali through chemo on a 10% chance he gets a few months of fucked up side effects.
Ali's the cat I credit with saving my life, so the idea that I now get to kill him so soon after is not thrilling.
Ali's the cat I credit with saving my life, so the idea that I now get to kill him so soon after is not thrilling.
As someone who works in IT, I know how semi-trivial it would be (depending on API) to look up your IP, make a guess as to your geographic location, and then stick that one at the top of the list.
—Patrick
Potwin, Kansas?
Didn't go to work. Just played video games all day. Still depressed. Don't know what to do anymore.
Is it possible to preemptively check yourself into treatment in Canada?
Why? It'll be the same song all over again. I'll get help, I'll start feeling better so they'll stop seeing me, and then I'm right back to this again. As it's always been for fucking decades. And nothing changes.
You already answered yourself:
That it's the same song and dance means you have practice at this, you're aware this is an illness you have and not an illness you are, and you know what steps you need to take for it.
GasBandit
Staff member
You have to remember that right now, your brain is lying to you. It fakes you out trying to sound logical about futility, but it's not. Saying that it isn't worth feeling better because you will crash again is like saying it's no use eating because you'll just get hungry again, or no use sleeping because you'll just get tired again. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Yes. The point is to accept that it is a cycle. So when you feel like you're headed into a downturn, that's when you need to let somebody know. Because if you wait until you bottom out, you may not have enough motivation of your own left to seek help, meaning you won't get the help you need unless you manage to "live until morning," as it were (which can be unpleasant), or unless someone else intervenes (which can strain relationships).
It's a bit like hypothermia, or alcoholism, or altitude sickness, or heat exhaustion, or even diabetes. All of them are things that require vigilance, as they are MUCH easier to arrest if you watch for the early signs, realize what is happening, then that smoke alarm goes off in your head and you can take appropriate steps before you are so deep into them that your ability to pull yourself out becomes compromised.
So when your days start getting darker and you start feeling lethargic BUT you bounce back and think, “Hah! I can handle this!” Be on the lookout for more of the same soon after, and remember that there is no requirement that you have to handle it by yourself.
--Patrick
It's a bit like hypothermia, or alcoholism, or altitude sickness, or heat exhaustion, or even diabetes. All of them are things that require vigilance, as they are MUCH easier to arrest if you watch for the early signs, realize what is happening, then that smoke alarm goes off in your head and you can take appropriate steps before you are so deep into them that your ability to pull yourself out becomes compromised.
So when your days start getting darker and you start feeling lethargic BUT you bounce back and think, “Hah! I can handle this!” Be on the lookout for more of the same soon after, and remember that there is no requirement that you have to handle it by yourself.
--Patrick
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Only because my husband is shooting blanks.
One of the things I've hated since going off the pill (and it's been about 10 years now) is that my period just shows up whenever it feels like. Sometimes it's days early, sometimes it's days late. There's no rhyme or reason to it. So now in addition to the actual cycle itself, I get to spend extra days "prepping" so it doesn't make a mess, which means almost double the time. HAAAAAAAAAAATE.My period showed up four days early.
I really wish there was a way to say, "Hey, I'm totally sure I'm done making babies, could we get rid of this feature?" without major health/surgical risks associated with it.
Mine will be regular for three or four months at a time, then randomly decide to be a few days early or late, just to keep me on my toes.
This morning due to cold medicine plus general lack of sleep I completely slept through my alarm for an hour and had to reschedule work that I was now going to be late for. Now I can't sleep because when I lay in bed I get flooded with the anxiety of potentially sleeping through the alarm again.
Giving a brofist due to a similar issue in December of last year, except it was our heating system that went out. Fun times.
Day 4 of the most boring training on the planet.