Random Video Game Crap

figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
GasBandit said:
In Ark, you poop.

This dude tried to turn off pooping by setting the poop interval to zero.

What he accomplished was, he turned off NOT pooping.

Pooping forever.

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If my shit came out as big round ball that's larger than my fist, I think I'd try to find a way to fix pooping, too.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Folks - this is how you know Celt Z, Emrys, and I have been playing Viscera Cleanup Detail this week :p
Celt Z said:
And all I can think is, "HOW many biohazard crates and buckets.....?????"
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But thankfully, human feces is the ONE disgusting thing we haven't been called to mop up.

...yet.
 
Frank

Frank

I'm a third of the way through the Baldur's Gate novelization.

It's literally some of the cringiest shit I've ever read. I get serious wahjah just from reading it and it makes me need to put it down.

The main character, Abdel, the PC from the game, is a violent idiot who's 7 feet tall and irresistible to every women he meets. He cuckolds Khaleed 1/3rd of the way into the book. Jaheira responds to Abdel almost murdering Khaleed (actually, the main character is disappointed when Khaleed survives) by almost immediately dropping her panties. Imoen is completely absent but it makes a recurring character out of the talking ghoul you meet on ONE screen of the game by making him the childhood friend of Abdel. That's as far as I am right now. It's difficult to go on.
 
Frank

Frank

I dare someone to CTRL F Abdel in the pdf of the book or something, I bet it comes in at like around 700 instances.
 
Frank

Frank

2/3rds of the way through the book now. Khaleed's dead, this time actually killed by Abdel after he's turned into a goo monster. Jaheira's job is to cry to whenever she's in trouble (always) to be sure Abdel can save her. Also, fuck him all the time. Xan was just a dude who joined them for a bit (not a greycloak or a mage), also dead now. Corax the ghoul from a singular screen of the game as a joke is basically the 3rd party member now after Abdel and Jaheira. It also just suddenly switches into the past to tell Yeslick's story. You know Yeslick, the dwarf no one ever takes in the Cloakwood mine. Apparently he needed his own chapter of flashback. There's a whole chapter about going back to where Gorion died to get his body for resurrection only to have had him devoured by ghouls...and Corax. Completely necessary. There's also random misogyny constantly. Constantly. All of the male characters let women know EXACTLY how they feel about anything a female character says.

I dare say, this is a bad book written by a guy with problems with women.

Anyways, that's where I am now.

This book is literally (literally) one of the worst novels I've ever read.

The name Abdel appears on each page about 2300 times. It's actually insane. HERE, on Archive.org you can see the first page of the book. It's that bad the whole time. Abdel, Abdel, Abdel. Never he, always Abdel.

archive.org

Baldur's gate : Athans, Philip : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

246 pages : 18 cm
archive.org

Jesus Christ, now I'm getting into Scar's backstory. The Flaming Fist guy you talk to during the main quest a couple of times. Learning all about how he got his scar.
 
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