[Question] Which animals could you beat in a one-on-one fight?

Which of these animals could you beat in a one-on-one fight?

  • Large Dog

    Votes: 15 88.2%

  • Chimpanzee

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • King Cobra

    Votes: 7 41.2%

  • Kangaroo

    Votes: 3 17.6%

  • Wolf

    Votes: 2 11.8%

  • Crocodile

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Gorilla

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Lion

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Elephant

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Grizzly Bear

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    17
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I ask this because in May there was a poll and Americans are pretty confident people. Their poll allowed for a few more animals than Xenforo does, so I did the biggest ones. Left off of MY poll were rat, house cat, goose, medium sized dog, and eagle.

yougov.co.uk

Which animals could Britons beat in a fight? | YouGov

Things don’t look good for anyone confronted by anything scarier than a medium-sized dog
yougov.co.uk yougov.co.uk
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

I mean, in an unfair fight, I could beat all of them. Or they could all beat me.
In a fair fight with no tools nor help from the environment, both of us healthy, awake, and unable to run away, I only feel confident I could beat the cobra and possibly the large dog.

--Patrick
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
The poll was unarmed in an open area. And I doubt anyone's ability to beat a large dog. People do beat cobras, but only because you can "hypnotize" them if you know what you are doing.

Personally, I will vote for none of these. I could take the rat, house cat, and goose. In fact, I KNOW I could do those as I HAVE. Anything other than that, though? Nah.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Dave said:
The poll was unarmed in an open area. And I doubt anyone's ability to beat a large dog. People do beat cobras, but only because you can "hypnotize" them if you know what you are doing.

Personally, I will vote for none of these. I could take the rat, house cat, and goose. In fact, I KNOW I could do those as I HAVE. Anything other than that, though? Nah.
Click to expand...
I have successfully fought off a large dog when one randomly attacked me and my small dog in a park. I ended up going to the ER with a nasty bite on my arm but I still won.

In a survival situation where it's assumed I'm stranded in the wilderness somewhere, obviously I wouldn't want to do this, because while I could probably kill the dog, I'd probably die of an infected wound weeks later
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Large dog and kangaroo. You would be unable to kill these animals with strikes, you'd have to choke them out. The dog is easy to choke, the kangaroo would be a vicious battle.
 
BErt

BErt

HCGLNS said:
Large dog and kangaroo. You would be unable to kill these animals with strikes, you'd have to choke them out. The dog is easy to choke, the kangaroo would be a vicious battle.
Click to expand...
A kangaroo would disembowl you like a Spielberg velociraptor
A4F64920-5E7B-473B-B79D-7B1B0CE1FA13.jpeg
i only voted large dog but it might only be like a 5 or 6 out of 10 times thing. Maybe less?
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Part of the reason I included "large dog" in my answer is because the poll people felt like "wolf" had to be its own category, which means that they do not think a wolf counts as a large dog, which means their "large dog" is probably smaller/less dangerous than a "wolf."

--Patrick
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Completely unarmed? I think I would barely survive the large dog. Give me a bladed weapon and I could probably take a chimp, maybe a king cobra if I'm lucky. Give me a hunting rifle and I would fancy my chances against all of them except the lion, grizzly, elephant, and even the gorilla would be pretty iffy.

But give me a flamethrower and I am king of the world. And you don't even need a license for those.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

It all depends on the situation, and what you define as "winning".
A big dog who isn't trained for fights? Yeah, I could take him. A big dog trained as attack/guard/etc dog, who knows how to go for the throat? Probably not.

Is the animal aggressive, as in, you're standing between her and her cubs, or they've been starved or taunted/beaten into a frenzy? Or are they jut hanging around and I can get a drop on them? Kangaroo, for example, aren't usually terribly aggressive towards people. If I can walk up to it and get out of talon reach on the side and choke it, I might win. if it's already vigilant and scared or whatever and it comes claws-first? I'm owl kebab. Crocodile, similar deal. If I can go up to it from the side/back and clamp its mouth shut, I'd have a fair shot, probably. If it's in the water and hunting for me, I'm a mid-sized snack.
And anyone claiming to be able to win bare handed and without armor/strong clothes from a lion, elephant or gorilla, has never seen them fight. Each of those can literally take on a car and win.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

sixpackshaker said:
I am glad that mid sized dogs weren't on the list. Belgian Malinois or Pit Bulls are tougher than large breeds.
Click to expand...
Shoutout for mentioning my hometown, whoo!
But Belgian Malinois is a weird way of naming them. It's normally a Malinois Shepherd. "Malinois" already says they're from Mechelen (Malines in French), which is in Belgium. :confused:
 
BErt

BErt

GasBandit said:
Completely unarmed? I think I would barely survive the large dog. Give me a bladed weapon and I could probably take a chimp, maybe a king cobra if I'm lucky. Give me a hunting rifle and I would fancy my chances against all of them except the lion, grizzly, elephant, and even the gorilla would be pretty iffy.

But give me a flamethrower and I am king of the world. And you don't even need a license for those.
Click to expand...
Of course we win with tools, there’s a reason the food chain is what it is.
87BE91C0-A81E-4856-AF56-14E9B1705051.jpeg
 
Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

I've taken out a cottonmouth before, so I'm confident on the cobra.
I'm less confident about the dog. I'm pretty sure I could take one, but I'd have to sacrifice a forearm to do it.
Chimps? No freaking way. You ever see a hairless chimp?
1628794420032.png


I've seen enough croc catching vids to know that it can be done easily. But I'm not sure I'd have the skill to do it myself without preparation.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Cobras are quick, man. I feel like I could take out most large dogs if they were pets, but wild/feral? Probably not. I don't think I fancy my chances against anything other than the dog. I mean, elephants are supposedly fairly docile but even if it didn't fight back, what are we talking about when we say 'beat'? Do I have to kill it? With my hands? Not happening.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

I would not be able to out-fight any of them, because I am physically out-matched. But as a human being, I would be able to out-smart them!

I can't think of how, yet, but give me a bit of time.
 
Frank

Frank

At worst me and a king cobra would be a draw. At worst. Even if it bites me, I'm going to smash it to fucking pieces. I know I can deal with dogs. A small kangaroo, maybe, a big kangaroo, lol no. Basically lol no at the rest of the list.

Even the most harmless looking adult chimp could tear your face and dick off faster than you could think. Everything else is a joke. We're not physical matches for any of those.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Anyone ever heard of Roar? The lion option in the poll made me think of it. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083001/?ref_=ttls_li_tt

It's a film with real lions that the director 'lived' with. They are... semi-domesticated? At any rate, the film famously caused injuries to dozens of cast and crew members, and many of the wounds you see from the lions in the film are real. It's not a documentary, it's got a 'story' - not a great one - but I am pretty sure anyone who watches it does so for the novelty. I sure did. There's a Best of the Worst that features it.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

Chad Sexington said:
Anyone ever heard of Roar? The lion option in the poll made me think of it. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083001/?ref_=ttls_li_tt

It's a film with real lions that the director 'lived' with. They are... semi-domesticated? At any rate, the film famously caused injuries to dozens of cast and crew members, and many of the wounds you see from the lions in the film are real. It's not a documentary, it's got a 'story' - not a great one - but I am pretty sure anyone who watches it does so for the novelty. I sure did. There's a Best of the Worst that features it.
Click to expand...
Isn't this the film where Melanie Griffith got injured pretty badly by one of the lions? I think I remember reading she got cast because her mom was involved and she had to get stitches across her...stomach? I think?
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Remember that woman that climbed two barricades to get a picture of a polar bear and became a glorious FAFO video.
 
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