I don't know why I'm doing this to myself, but recently a friend asked me if I wanted to see Fast X, and I told him I couldn't because I've never seen any of the fast and furious movies, I wouldn't know any of the deep Fast-Universe lore.
So then a challenge was taken. Over the course of the next two weeks, I intend to watch all of the Fast and Furious movies. Every single one. I am either going to bail halfway through because I can't stand these, or two weeks from now I am going to be showing off my Paul Walker tribute tattoo sleeve. I'm fairly certain there is no in between.
I thought it would be fun, and give me a reason to pay attention, if I then review and recap the movies here, for the enjoyment of I assume Pat and Bubble who will probably be the only ones foolish enough to read through all of it.
Tonight, I started where it all began, with:
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Plot synopsis: cars go fast
This movie was honestly better than I expected it to be, but is definitely also a product of its time. Right off the bat I can tell this takes place in southern california because everything is yellow. The color grading on this movie is very yellow. Breaking Bad Mexico yellow. But the visuals and cinematography all actually look very good. I don't know if this was shot on film or just happened to be shot in high definition for imax or whatever, but it looks fantastic in UHD. The race scenes are stylized as if they are live action animes, complete with characters hitting their power level limits and going beyond when they hit their NOs buttons. A spoiler-filled recap will follow below.
So, first surprise, Paul Walker's character is a cop? Yes, he's an undercover police officer named Brian that's trying to infiltrate the illegal street race scene because there's been a string of thefts on shipping trucks carrying tvs and dvd players and various other 2001 era expensive electronics that is always done with souped up street racing cars that attack and rob the trucks while driving.
While Brian is a cop trying to uncover a crime ring, he was chosen for this task because he also happens to think that street racing is super cool and always wanted to be a part of it. Cars go fast and that's fucking rad as far as he's concerned.
Brian also keeps visiting the same sandwich shop because he likes to flirt with the girl there, and her brother happens to be Dom, played by Vin Diesel, who is not only one of the top street racers but also something of a community dad. He's got his own crew that he looks out for and people of the community know they can go to him for problems. Brian immediately looks up to Dom and thinks he's super cool, and wants to become his best friend and also date his sister.
A few times Brian's handlers accuse him of "going native" and losing sight of the investigation because he's spending so much time hanging out with Dom. Brian assures them this isn't the case, but it actually totally is because spoiler Dom is the one robbing the trucks. Brian is a very bad detective, but an ok street racer.
In the very first race, Brian, to prove he isn't a cop and to show he's serious, puts down pink slips on the race in lieu of the several thousand dollar entry fee, stating he will give his car to the winner if he loses. Now, very early on it's established that these are all "Ten second cars," aka drag racers. They are meant to race in a straight line down a quarter mile track. Every single race in this movie is a drag race, except for this first one. In this first one, an entire freeway is illegally closed off and they all race on it at once, NASCAR style, going through twists and turns to get to the finish line. I don't know shit about cars, but I don't think a drag racer would actually do well in a race like this, but fuck it, car go fast.
Because Brian is a cop and not a street racer, he immediately blows his engine when he gives it too much NOs and comes in last, having to give his car up to Dom who won the race. The cops then come, and Brian, still in the car he blew the engine out of, tells Dom to get in, and he outruns the police and saves Dom from getting caught, up until some Asian people on motorcycles come to surround them. These guys are lead by Johnny Tran, who is clearly set up to be the villain of this movie, and they threaten Dom with some stuff and then blow up Brian's car. Dom tells Brian he'll explain what this was all about later. Later comes in the third act.
With Brian still owing Dom a ten second car, Brian now starts working in Dom's garage and on Dom's crew, planning for the next big race which is at a huge event that is unfortunately titled "Race Wars." During this time Brian starts sneaking into other crews turf and snooping around their garages, trying to match tire prints to the cars doing the robberies or find some evidence of the stolen goods, until he's caught by one of Dom's crew who immediately accuses him of being a cop. Brian tells Dom he's actually collecting intel for the next race, and since Brian saved his life and is now his best friend, Dom believes him and they go to check out Johnny Tran's garage to see what he's hiding.
They all have to hide suddenly when Johnny Tran and his gang enter the garage with one of their mechanics, which they beat and torture telling him that he better get them the engines they need for the next "event." It's during this time that Brian also notices tons of TVs and DVD players stacked in giant heaps around the garage, so he calls in a tip that this is the place and the feds come and raid the place.
As it turns out, Tran purchased all of this stuff legally. He's putting the tvs and dvd players into cars because it's 2001 and that's what you do.
Later, at Race Wars, Tran accuses Dom of being a narc because obviously someone called the feds on him, and Dom punches him in the face and starts a fight, loudly proclaiming he would never call the cops. Brian knew this whole time that Dom was a convicted felon, but it's during this point that they have a heart to heart and Brian learns that Dom went to prison for assault against the person that caused his dad's death. It was a dumb thing to do and he wishes he hadn't done it, but after serving two years in prison and having a felony charge he now has no legit options for work and can't get out from under poverty. Brian finally decides that Dom has a motive to need money and starts to think that maybe, just maybe, Dom could be involved in the robberies.
During the race wars, one of the 20 year old kids that Dom looks after decides he wants to be like Brian, putting his father's car on the line as he bets his pink slips in a drag race against Johnny Tran. Brian warns him not to do this but they race, and when Tran wins, the kid just speeds away in a panic. Tran tells Dom he better get him his car or their deal is going to be off, and finally Brian learns that Dom is in debt to Tran and Tran will hurt or kill some of Dom's people if he doesn't get him his money, which is what prompted Dom to start these high speed burglaries.
Dom leaves to go do another truck job, and Brian speeds off after to stop him, knowing that the trucking companies have started to arm their drivers in defense against this. The job goes bad, one of Dom's crew gets shot, and Brian speeds in to save his life by revealing he's a cop and calling in an emergency medivac. Dom, betrayed, leaves, and Brian has to car chase after him. He finds Dom back at his house, where they have a standoff with Brian telling Dom he can't run. Dom says he's not running, he has to find Jesse (the kid that lost his car) before Johnny finds him, Jesse then pulls up and says he's sorry, he didn't know what to do, he couldn't lose his dad's car as it's all he has. Before they can do anything though, Johnny comes by and does a drive by, shooting and killing Jesse. Dom immediately chases after him, and Brian has to then chase after them both.
Johnny beefs it and dies during the chase, and Dom speeds off. Brian eventually finds him on the road his dad died on, and Dom tells him that it's a quarter mile to the train tracks and the train is coming. He's going to go for it and Brian shouldn't follow.
Brian of course follows, and for the first time he matches Dom's drag run, beating the train just barely and making it out the other side, but then a truck comes out of nowhere and Dom flips his car. Crawling out of it, Dom tells Brian he never thought it would end this way while police sirens close in. Brian gives him the keys to his car, telling him that he still owes him a ten second car, and Dom drives away while the police close in, leaving Brian to take the heat and do what cops do best, pin it on someone else. In this case he pins it all on the dead Johnny Tran.
The movie ends with Dom driving off free for another day, living his life a quarter mile at a time, and Brian wondering what his future in the force holds and how much blowback he's going to get. The end.
So then a challenge was taken. Over the course of the next two weeks, I intend to watch all of the Fast and Furious movies. Every single one. I am either going to bail halfway through because I can't stand these, or two weeks from now I am going to be showing off my Paul Walker tribute tattoo sleeve. I'm fairly certain there is no in between.
I thought it would be fun, and give me a reason to pay attention, if I then review and recap the movies here, for the enjoyment of I assume Pat and Bubble who will probably be the only ones foolish enough to read through all of it.
Tonight, I started where it all began, with:
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Plot synopsis: cars go fast
This movie was honestly better than I expected it to be, but is definitely also a product of its time. Right off the bat I can tell this takes place in southern california because everything is yellow. The color grading on this movie is very yellow. Breaking Bad Mexico yellow. But the visuals and cinematography all actually look very good. I don't know if this was shot on film or just happened to be shot in high definition for imax or whatever, but it looks fantastic in UHD. The race scenes are stylized as if they are live action animes, complete with characters hitting their power level limits and going beyond when they hit their NOs buttons. A spoiler-filled recap will follow below.
So, first surprise, Paul Walker's character is a cop? Yes, he's an undercover police officer named Brian that's trying to infiltrate the illegal street race scene because there's been a string of thefts on shipping trucks carrying tvs and dvd players and various other 2001 era expensive electronics that is always done with souped up street racing cars that attack and rob the trucks while driving.
While Brian is a cop trying to uncover a crime ring, he was chosen for this task because he also happens to think that street racing is super cool and always wanted to be a part of it. Cars go fast and that's fucking rad as far as he's concerned.
Brian also keeps visiting the same sandwich shop because he likes to flirt with the girl there, and her brother happens to be Dom, played by Vin Diesel, who is not only one of the top street racers but also something of a community dad. He's got his own crew that he looks out for and people of the community know they can go to him for problems. Brian immediately looks up to Dom and thinks he's super cool, and wants to become his best friend and also date his sister.
A few times Brian's handlers accuse him of "going native" and losing sight of the investigation because he's spending so much time hanging out with Dom. Brian assures them this isn't the case, but it actually totally is because spoiler Dom is the one robbing the trucks. Brian is a very bad detective, but an ok street racer.
In the very first race, Brian, to prove he isn't a cop and to show he's serious, puts down pink slips on the race in lieu of the several thousand dollar entry fee, stating he will give his car to the winner if he loses. Now, very early on it's established that these are all "Ten second cars," aka drag racers. They are meant to race in a straight line down a quarter mile track. Every single race in this movie is a drag race, except for this first one. In this first one, an entire freeway is illegally closed off and they all race on it at once, NASCAR style, going through twists and turns to get to the finish line. I don't know shit about cars, but I don't think a drag racer would actually do well in a race like this, but fuck it, car go fast.
Because Brian is a cop and not a street racer, he immediately blows his engine when he gives it too much NOs and comes in last, having to give his car up to Dom who won the race. The cops then come, and Brian, still in the car he blew the engine out of, tells Dom to get in, and he outruns the police and saves Dom from getting caught, up until some Asian people on motorcycles come to surround them. These guys are lead by Johnny Tran, who is clearly set up to be the villain of this movie, and they threaten Dom with some stuff and then blow up Brian's car. Dom tells Brian he'll explain what this was all about later. Later comes in the third act.
With Brian still owing Dom a ten second car, Brian now starts working in Dom's garage and on Dom's crew, planning for the next big race which is at a huge event that is unfortunately titled "Race Wars." During this time Brian starts sneaking into other crews turf and snooping around their garages, trying to match tire prints to the cars doing the robberies or find some evidence of the stolen goods, until he's caught by one of Dom's crew who immediately accuses him of being a cop. Brian tells Dom he's actually collecting intel for the next race, and since Brian saved his life and is now his best friend, Dom believes him and they go to check out Johnny Tran's garage to see what he's hiding.
They all have to hide suddenly when Johnny Tran and his gang enter the garage with one of their mechanics, which they beat and torture telling him that he better get them the engines they need for the next "event." It's during this time that Brian also notices tons of TVs and DVD players stacked in giant heaps around the garage, so he calls in a tip that this is the place and the feds come and raid the place.
As it turns out, Tran purchased all of this stuff legally. He's putting the tvs and dvd players into cars because it's 2001 and that's what you do.
Later, at Race Wars, Tran accuses Dom of being a narc because obviously someone called the feds on him, and Dom punches him in the face and starts a fight, loudly proclaiming he would never call the cops. Brian knew this whole time that Dom was a convicted felon, but it's during this point that they have a heart to heart and Brian learns that Dom went to prison for assault against the person that caused his dad's death. It was a dumb thing to do and he wishes he hadn't done it, but after serving two years in prison and having a felony charge he now has no legit options for work and can't get out from under poverty. Brian finally decides that Dom has a motive to need money and starts to think that maybe, just maybe, Dom could be involved in the robberies.
During the race wars, one of the 20 year old kids that Dom looks after decides he wants to be like Brian, putting his father's car on the line as he bets his pink slips in a drag race against Johnny Tran. Brian warns him not to do this but they race, and when Tran wins, the kid just speeds away in a panic. Tran tells Dom he better get him his car or their deal is going to be off, and finally Brian learns that Dom is in debt to Tran and Tran will hurt or kill some of Dom's people if he doesn't get him his money, which is what prompted Dom to start these high speed burglaries.
Dom leaves to go do another truck job, and Brian speeds off after to stop him, knowing that the trucking companies have started to arm their drivers in defense against this. The job goes bad, one of Dom's crew gets shot, and Brian speeds in to save his life by revealing he's a cop and calling in an emergency medivac. Dom, betrayed, leaves, and Brian has to car chase after him. He finds Dom back at his house, where they have a standoff with Brian telling Dom he can't run. Dom says he's not running, he has to find Jesse (the kid that lost his car) before Johnny finds him, Jesse then pulls up and says he's sorry, he didn't know what to do, he couldn't lose his dad's car as it's all he has. Before they can do anything though, Johnny comes by and does a drive by, shooting and killing Jesse. Dom immediately chases after him, and Brian has to then chase after them both.
Johnny beefs it and dies during the chase, and Dom speeds off. Brian eventually finds him on the road his dad died on, and Dom tells him that it's a quarter mile to the train tracks and the train is coming. He's going to go for it and Brian shouldn't follow.
Brian of course follows, and for the first time he matches Dom's drag run, beating the train just barely and making it out the other side, but then a truck comes out of nowhere and Dom flips his car. Crawling out of it, Dom tells Brian he never thought it would end this way while police sirens close in. Brian gives him the keys to his car, telling him that he still owes him a ten second car, and Dom drives away while the police close in, leaving Brian to take the heat and do what cops do best, pin it on someone else. In this case he pins it all on the dead Johnny Tran.
The movie ends with Dom driving off free for another day, living his life a quarter mile at a time, and Brian wondering what his future in the force holds and how much blowback he's going to get. The end.
