The last show I watched was the adventures of gumball. So, not a lot of help there, unless Anais and the mom show up.
The dad will save you by crashing through the wall in the station wagon, accidentally sideswiping the kidnappers and launching them through the kitchen window. The camera will cut to them falling 15 stories into the swimming pool. No explanation will be given for how the dad managed to crash through the wall 15 floors up, other than that the episode will have featured him in at least 2-3 flashbacks crashing through a wall on a skateboard as a kid, on a bicycle as a teen, and on a horse as a college student.

--Patrick
 
School is starting up again!

Teachers and staff at my school just got a safety briefing on what to do in case of an active shooter. Our presenter cited three historical events for “inspiration:”

1) The Spartans at Thermopylae (showed via images from Zach Snyder’s 300)

2) The people who banded together to fight terrorists on Flight 93

3) The bravery showed by the cavalry in “Charge of the Light Brigade”

Any guesses what those three examples all have in common? The presenter didn’t realize it, but I certainly did!
 
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Dave

Staff member
My wife has a coworker named Dierdre. I did her wedding in January. She married Jimmy. Couple weeks ago Jimmy took Dierdre flowers at work so of course we all heard about it.

My aunt died Saturday and her funeral is Friday, August 18. Which just happens to be my wife's birthday. Now, other things have happened on or around that date so my wife is now dreading it when it rolls around, and now we're adding another layer. Additionally, she frequently has night terrors. When that happens I usually have to sooth her back to sleep. Last night it was particularly bad, this being very close to the anniversary of her mother's death. So I went to the store, bought her birthday flowers and took them to her work early.

The card said, "Happy early birthday! I love you!"

On the back it said, "Suck it, Jimmy."
 
Today while driving on the freeway I saw a sign that said "no U-turns on freeway" and I briefly wondered about the circumstances that made this sign necessary.
 
Today while driving on the freeway I saw a sign that said "no U-turns on freeway" and I briefly wondered about the circumstances that made this sign necessary.
There are also signs at the bottom of the entrance ramps that say, "No left turn" for the same reason.

--Patrick
 
One of my hot female subordinates has recently gotten into some trouble for missing deadlines. I probed into the situation a bit, and it turns out that when our supervisor asks her for estimates on how long she'll need to do a case, she'll give pretty tight times, and then inevitably she'll fail to hit some of them. So I showed her the video of Scotty telling Geordie to not give the actual time he thinks he'll need, and instead to give a more conservative time estimate, and she replied that she thinks it's unethical to give longer times when the real amount of time she needs is actually shorter.

On the one hand, I admire her work ethic. On the other hand... damn girl, you got a lot to learn.
 
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