Epic Poop thread: Poop harder!
- Thread starter CrimsonSoul
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aranoid:
Jesus, that's like a big "Fuck you" to drunk people who have to shit.
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Iaculus
I used one of those in Turkey. Avoiding some unholy mishap there despite a monumental case of salmonella was one of the finest moments of my life... or at least, that part of my life directly concerned with poop.
P
Pojodan
Oh God,
I hate it when I sit down for a casual poop and something happens part-way through, like the phone ringing or a knock at the door and I want to get up and tend to it, but my bowels decide that this is the moment within which to begin working on the remains of the steak burrito I ate the night before and tells me, under no certain terms, that it's coming and I cannot stop it, but, like a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door, it's gonna take a solid 5 minutes to squeeze and shift into the right shape to pass completely, leaving me to either abandon the idea, or bear down with all my might and either sound like I'm trying to pry my hand off a hot plate on the phone or appear to be some sort of bright red zombie when I answer the door.
I need some Metamucil, damn it.
I hate it when I sit down for a casual poop and something happens part-way through, like the phone ringing or a knock at the door and I want to get up and tend to it, but my bowels decide that this is the moment within which to begin working on the remains of the steak burrito I ate the night before and tells me, under no certain terms, that it's coming and I cannot stop it, but, like a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door, it's gonna take a solid 5 minutes to squeeze and shift into the right shape to pass completely, leaving me to either abandon the idea, or bear down with all my might and either sound like I'm trying to pry my hand off a hot plate on the phone or appear to be some sort of bright red zombie when I answer the door.
I need some Metamucil, damn it.
I just pooped on myself when I thought I was farting as soon as I sat in the car to take my 5 year old to school. My wife told me that I still had time to clean myself up and take her instead of doing it herself *sigh*
You belge really have it with the frogs, ey?
Btw, why am I posting in this thread????????
30 minutes before kids were coming over to my nephews b-day party my dog pooped in the basement. It wasn't a small pile either, it was huge. He's used to being able to go off on his own and poop in the long grass. He also hates it when you look at him while he is pooping. I think he just got nervous having to be walked on a leash on mowed grass and couldn't poop outside. That was one smelly poop to have to clean up.
North_Ranger
Staff member
God, I hated the toilets in Ireland. Basically they are like your normal toilet, save there's no water tank in the back, and the bowl just basically sticks out of the wall like some disfigured bidée. And me being on the hefty side, I could never sit down and relax in the toilet when I pooped, since I was constantly afraid that the damn thing would crack off the wall.
I'm not even overweight and I'd be scared of that
Would you like our poop discussions to run into other threads, or should we just plop them down in here?
fade
Staff member
You know what I hate? Going into the bathroom at work and smelling someone else's massive poop. I just want to put nose-filters in so I don't have to smell it. Worse, you can always tell the nationality of the pooper based on the type of lingering spice aroma. In fact, the worse poop smell is the one that still smells slightly like what it once was. Because then it just smells like that thing mixed with poop, and it makes you almost taste it.
I could stew in my own aroma all day, but I am very conscious if I smell somebody else's brand. Poop is weird like that.
I love these bus shelter ads. There's one downtown here that says "Look out below!" which I can't help but laugh at every time I pass it.
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