I'd rather not see a permaban come around. I guess if one person is alienating the majority of the community then they need to go. The needs of the many, outweigh...
Halforums Rampant Negativity
- Thread starter Dave
- Start date
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A few weeks ago someone mentioned that I wasn't posting as much. I explained that I thought this forum was going downhill because of a vocal minority of assholes. Anyone remember what happened? I was immediately accused of actually trolling, and basically some people showed up to prove me right.
I bring this up not only to say "nyah nyah I told you so!", but also to illustrate the problem this forum has. There is a distinct vocal minority of assholes. They like to pick on people, carry flamewars from thread to thread, and they attack anyone who asks them to tone down the vitriol. They jump all over people who disagree with them, and it drives new posters and lurkers away. It borders on bullying behavior, especially the call out threads. There is a way to be civil and disagree at the same time, but some people around here don't even try.
I don't know what will fix the problem. My only suggestion is a stronger presence of moderation. There is a lax culture on this board that allows people, especially people who have been around longer, to be assholes. Somehow that has to be discouraged, or the situation is never going to change. Maybe there are better ideas than moderation. I don't know. All I know is that the increased negativity is noticable, and is an actual problem. It's not the forum just being colorful.
I bring this up not only to say "nyah nyah I told you so!", but also to illustrate the problem this forum has. There is a distinct vocal minority of assholes. They like to pick on people, carry flamewars from thread to thread, and they attack anyone who asks them to tone down the vitriol. They jump all over people who disagree with them, and it drives new posters and lurkers away. It borders on bullying behavior, especially the call out threads. There is a way to be civil and disagree at the same time, but some people around here don't even try.
I don't know what will fix the problem. My only suggestion is a stronger presence of moderation. There is a lax culture on this board that allows people, especially people who have been around longer, to be assholes. Somehow that has to be discouraged, or the situation is never going to change. Maybe there are better ideas than moderation. I don't know. All I know is that the increased negativity is noticable, and is an actual problem. It's not the forum just being colorful.
Cajungal
Staff member
:hug:
Happy to, rabbit. I think that the vast majority of people here are great posters. Few have a habit of making trouble. Sometimes it's just a bad week, and sometimes it's just a sensitive topic.
It's just important in a community like this to remember that we don't have much of an idea of people's backgrounds here. I'm not saying we should tiptoe around every little thing, but there's something to be said for thinking before you speak and considering the feelings of the person you're addressing.
I know that probably sounds kind of wussy or whatever... and I don't believe in folding over every time you think you might upset someone. It's easy to just come out with exactly what you're thinking at the time. It takes patience and thought to speak diplomatically. I KNOW that everyone here has that capacity.
Plus we're all fun, interesting people with something GREAT to bring to the table. We've been through a lot together, and I know that this too shall pass if we put forth the effort.
Happy to, rabbit. I think that the vast majority of people here are great posters. Few have a habit of making trouble. Sometimes it's just a bad week, and sometimes it's just a sensitive topic.
It's just important in a community like this to remember that we don't have much of an idea of people's backgrounds here. I'm not saying we should tiptoe around every little thing, but there's something to be said for thinking before you speak and considering the feelings of the person you're addressing.
I know that probably sounds kind of wussy or whatever... and I don't believe in folding over every time you think you might upset someone. It's easy to just come out with exactly what you're thinking at the time. It takes patience and thought to speak diplomatically. I KNOW that everyone here has that capacity.
Plus we're all fun, interesting people with something GREAT to bring to the table. We've been through a lot together, and I know that this too shall pass if we put forth the effort.
I agree with this, and would like to add the caveat of some folks seem to think that it's their shtick to be an asshole. So, to keep up their shtick, they flame-on any chance they get. I don't want those folks to leave, I just want them to calm down.
I agree with this, and would like to add the caveat of some folks seem to think that it's their shtick to be an asshole. So, to keep up their shtick, they flame-on any chance they get. I don't want those folks to leave, I just want them to calm down.[/QUOTE]
I completely agree.
I'm in with the deep breathing.I think just talking about it might help to kind of ease the tension. It's been brought up before in passing, but I'm glad Dave started this thread. Anyone wanna join me in some deep breathing?
That's not a euphemism, right?
R
rabbitgod
M
makare
I was just saying that earlier! I think more women would be good.
T
Twitch
But if we let women vote they'll just start prohibition... wait.
I knew that. Figured I could get ya to blush.All you need do is ask. ^_^
And no, Krisken.
:grouphug: I'm up for some of this too.
North_Ranger
Staff member
I've been trying to recruit a Ukrainian friend of mine, but the fucker's yet to show up
If it makes you feel better, I blushed a little saying it.
T
ThatNickGuy
I've had issues with a few forumites in the past. Recently, one that I had issues with, I dealt with on my own. It felt like I was being personally attacked and almost targetted.
Their response? Essentially, they blew it off, told me to either grow a pair or lighten up; their joke was still funny and to hell with my feelings. THAT is the kind of attitude that some posters (again, not naming names or lumping everyone together) seem to have: they just don't give a shit about the other person's feelings. What might be hilarious to them (and often, ONLY them) is not funny and even insulting or upsetting to others.
I try not to attack or seriously insult, myself. My view is two things: Thumper's adage about saying nice things. Secondly, I imagine what it would be like if I had a bad day, come on the forums and then read something like that, aimed at me. If you imagine that, it's much tougher to be an asshole.
Still, some moderation and warnings I think would go a long way.
Their response? Essentially, they blew it off, told me to either grow a pair or lighten up; their joke was still funny and to hell with my feelings. THAT is the kind of attitude that some posters (again, not naming names or lumping everyone together) seem to have: they just don't give a shit about the other person's feelings. What might be hilarious to them (and often, ONLY them) is not funny and even insulting or upsetting to others.
I try not to attack or seriously insult, myself. My view is two things: Thumper's adage about saying nice things. Secondly, I imagine what it would be like if I had a bad day, come on the forums and then read something like that, aimed at me. If you imagine that, it's much tougher to be an asshole.
Still, some moderation and warnings I think would go a long way.
Dude. I wanted you to pick me up some organic brussels sprouts for the nice romantic dinner I was making for us.
And you didn't.
And now the dinner is ruined.
Dude. I wanted you to pick me up some organic brussels sprouts for the nice romantic dinner I was making for us.
And you didn't.
And now the dinner is ruined.
[/QUOTE]But, he brought the chips though!:
Hm, I read through this thread twice, just to make sure I wasn't missing something.
I don't see this "negative vibe" flowing through the forums. That's because I am probably on here more than almost anyone.
Perhaps it's because I don't take 98% of what comes out of another poster seriously (when it comes to negative situations/arguments) as alot of people can get heated and say things they don't exactly mean from time to time.
Now, if something persists for over a few days, then yeah, I can see the problem. That's a rare ass thing around here these days if you ask me though. :noidea:
I don't see this "negative vibe" flowing through the forums. That's because I am probably on here more than almost anyone.
Perhaps it's because I don't take 98% of what comes out of another poster seriously (when it comes to negative situations/arguments) as alot of people can get heated and say things they don't exactly mean from time to time.
Now, if something persists for over a few days, then yeah, I can see the problem. That's a rare ass thing around here these days if you ask me though. :noidea:
M
makare
I bet that can is full of lupus.But, he brought the chips though!:
I bet that can is full of lupus.[/QUOTE]But, he brought the chips though!:
Are you saying the can lies?
Being a 99% lurker (I only log in when I feel like posting - which is very rare - heck, I dropped in the IRC chat one day and people were like "who are you" - example: my "last visit" logged in was 10-18-09) - I do read the forum almost every day (unless I don't have internet access) - I would say that it has gotten rather negative - some of the posts I just skip over anymore...
The "flame wars" section never really made any sense to me - why post something that is a deliberate attack against another person - especially in a form such as this where sarcasm/humor is very hard to verify/know. I used to admin forums several years ago (back when I had time (ie single and didn't have a 1 year old)) and it was hard keeping up with things, especially if people started attacking each other - which generally just doesn't make everyone want to stick around.
I've been a member of this group since the mid-2000's (back when I followed PvP by Kurtz - haven't been as impressed for the past year or two), but always a lurker. There isn't much that I feel the desire to post about, but I am always interested in what other people write about - not that I always agree with them.
Now, would I post more if this place had more moderation/less negativity? No. Would I stop lurking? No, but I would feel a bit more comfortable if I could check in on the forums during my breaks at work and there was less negativity.
The "flame wars" section never really made any sense to me - why post something that is a deliberate attack against another person - especially in a form such as this where sarcasm/humor is very hard to verify/know. I used to admin forums several years ago (back when I had time (ie single and didn't have a 1 year old)) and it was hard keeping up with things, especially if people started attacking each other - which generally just doesn't make everyone want to stick around.
I've been a member of this group since the mid-2000's (back when I followed PvP by Kurtz - haven't been as impressed for the past year or two), but always a lurker. There isn't much that I feel the desire to post about, but I am always interested in what other people write about - not that I always agree with them.
Now, would I post more if this place had more moderation/less negativity? No. Would I stop lurking? No, but I would feel a bit more comfortable if I could check in on the forums during my breaks at work and there was less negativity.
S
Soliloquy
I dunno... back in the halfpixel days, I started a thread bringing up the fact that people were starting to be jerks in ways that were scaring away newcomers.I think just talking about it might help to kind of ease the tension. It's been brought up before in passing, but I'm glad Dave started this thread. Anyone wanna join me in some deep breathing?
What ensued was a back-and-forth discussion (much like this one) in which everyone had their own opinions on the matter, nobody wanted to alter their opinions on the matter, and nothing changed--people kept on going the way they always had been, scaring away newbies and the like.
I don't think discussions actually solve anything in an anonymous environment such as this. For things to change, someone in authority needs to act.
Dude. I wanted you to pick me up some organic brussels sprouts for the nice romantic dinner I was making for us.
And you didn't.
And now the dinner is ruined.
[/QUOTE]But, he brought the chips though!:
Oh wow. Dude. Brilliant!
I'm honestly pretty entertained by a lot of the flame wars that go on here. I'm also a /b/tard, so take my opinion for what it's worth. I honestly think more moderation would be a bad thing, though. Part of the reason I love this forum is because I can let my hair down (even with the risk of Shego grabbing it and forcing me to do unspeakable things), cuss like a fucking sailor and occasionally give people a hard time, joking or not. Even though more moderation would definitely change the forum's vibe, I'm not sure it would really be for the better.
You should visit the wiki
figmentPez
Staff member
This, right here. (How ironic that it's often the same posters who mock Kurts for saying FYGIF.) Sometimes it doesn't matter if you mean it as a joke, it's still rude and uncalled for. There has been a lot of this lately, and I've been noticing it and posting less because of it.
Yeah, I made that one a while back. I just hardly ever get the chance to use it.
Yeah, I made that one a while back. I just hardly ever get the chance to use it.
[/QUOTE]It lives on
It cracks me up every time. I even placed it in the wiki meme entry where CajunGal says "Kriskens:_____"Yeah, I made that one a while back. I just hardly ever get the chance to use it.
[/QUOTE]It lives on
It cracks me up every time. I even placed it in the wiki meme entry where CajunGal says "Kriskens:_____"[/QUOTE]Yay, my work has been immortalized! :rockon:
This.
An example I can think of is A made a -minority group- joke that offended B. When B told A that it offended them, A's only response was essentially, "Sucks that you can't see the humor, but you need to change, not me." It would have been much better had A instead said, "Sorry I offended you - it wasn't intended." It resulted in quite a long thread with people picking sides regarding whether the joke was offensive or not and so forth.
It's basic respect that appears to be missing.
We teach our children (at least, I hope most people do) that if they hurt someone accidentally, they should still apologize, though it was not their intention to hurt anyone.
But who wants to be a moderator and say, "Hey, A, you need to go apologize to B, or I'm going to put you in time-out for a day." Ugh.
Moderation may be able to nudge people in the right direction, but the community itself needs to decide what is acceptable and respectful, and what is not, and enforce it verbally in threads where you see someone isn't being respectful.
You can still be sarcastic, make fun of people and the foibles, and such while being respectful, and recognizing that you need to apologize and tone it down once someone indicates you've gone over their personal line.
-Adam
- Status