Alrighty, you need some makeup. Let's see here... turn your head for me, please. You need a clammy, pale complexion so you look a heroine junkie who never sees daylight... some gray and green blemishes on your forearm so it looks like you have sepsis from shared needles... some fake razor blade scars on your wrists and voila! You're now a beatnik starving artist!Sadly, I'm a non-starving artist... but I'm not successful either. I'm not a stereotype, how will somebody ever love me?!
Now go hang out in a community college's quad and bitch about how rainbows, sunsets, and puppies make you depressed because you're hurting inside. You'll have a girlfriend by the end of the day.