How long do you people hold a grudge for some wrongdoing? I find I barely do at all, and even in the most grievous of cases (such as my continued break from speaking with my mother or sister going on seven years now), it's not so much a grudge as just a healthy decision to protect my and my family's sanity.
How Long Do You Hold A Grudge?
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My patience with people is usually very, very long. But, in most cases, once that is depleted usually the case is my good favor once lost is lost forever.
unless it is a really huge ordeal I usually don't hold a grudge (at least a huge not talking grudge) but I must admit that sometimes I do look at the person and I still think back on what they said/did and get upset. Not enough to show any signs but enough to annoy me a little bit but it usually passes pretty quickly.
C
Chibibar
too much work to remember that far back.. I say couple of minutes... SQUIRREL!!!
I etch each name and offense into a stone tablet that will be hung in the entrance hall of home, and every generation of my family will seek naught but to be the nemeses of my offenders.
I usually don't hold one for very long. Only exception would be for people that willingly hurt someone I love, either physically or emotionally.
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Wasabi Poptart
Depends on the offense. If it's something bad, I can hold a grudge forever.
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RocketGirl
Depends on the offense and how willing the jerk-wad is to make amends.
Q
Qonas
This. Except, seriously.
This, more or less.
R
Rubicon
Forever
I think I remember a thread similar to this a while back but my answer remains the same as it's been the way I am for as long as I can remember.
I'm strange in the way that I treat people. From the day I meet you, you have my 100% confidence and trust. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt right off the bat. The balancer to this is, if I'm ever betrayed or lied to, even in the most insignificant of ways, you're permantely on my shit list and there's no way off of it. To this day, noone who's ever wronged me has gotten back on my good side, even those who did small incidents years ago.
I'm strange in the way that I treat people. From the day I meet you, you have my 100% confidence and trust. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt right off the bat. The balancer to this is, if I'm ever betrayed or lied to, even in the most insignificant of ways, you're permantely on my shit list and there's no way off of it. To this day, noone who's ever wronged me has gotten back on my good side, even those who did small incidents years ago.
How is that strange?
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RocketGirl
I'm kinna like this. I lean toward benefit-of-the-doubt, but generally I start a new person at something resembling neutral and let them earn my opinion of them, good or bad.
I don't have a "one size fits all" category.
Some people, I trust right away. Some people I don't. I've got a pretty good instinct for who's a shady character and who's up to shenanigans.
If you've pissed me off enough that I'm going hold a grudge, I'll pretty much hold it forever. And, when the opportunity presents itself, I'll get even, provided the moment is timely. At some point you have to let the revenge go--I won't go out of my way to stick it to someone who pissed me off years ago, because that's just petty. But that won't change my opinion on how much of a dick that person is.
Some people, I trust right away. Some people I don't. I've got a pretty good instinct for who's a shady character and who's up to shenanigans.
If you've pissed me off enough that I'm going hold a grudge, I'll pretty much hold it forever. And, when the opportunity presents itself, I'll get even, provided the moment is timely. At some point you have to let the revenge go--I won't go out of my way to stick it to someone who pissed me off years ago, because that's just petty. But that won't change my opinion on how much of a dick that person is.
I'm sort of your polar opposite on this.
It takes a long time to "earn" my trust but once you have it, you'd have to fuck me over in a reaaaalllly bad way for me to hold a grudge.
Of course, i can count the people i really trust on one hand, family included.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Some things I cannot forgive. And you'll be sure to know it.
S
Soliloquy
I don't think I'm even mentally capable of holding a grudge. I'm pretty much an absent-minded, walk-around-the-world-in-a-daze type of person. A professor once asked where I was in my life ten years ago, and it took me so long to respond that concluded that I must walk around in the perpetual present, or something.
Cajungal
Staff member
It's hard for me to forget hurtful things that people say and do. I just can't put it away or let the memory fade even if I try. So if I truly want to give someone another chance even if I can't forget what they did, I have to put forth a lot of effort. I act like nothing happened, because the problem is with me now and my stupid memory.
A lot of things are easily forgiven for me, though. I'm more likely to hate someone forever if they do something to my family or a friend.
A lot of things are easily forgiven for me, though. I'm more likely to hate someone forever if they do something to my family or a friend.
I don't hold grudges, I either ignore the person as best as I can or take action.
J
JCM
Dunno, as I move around often I sometimes forget even people who owe me money and the like, but thankfully whenever I come back somewhere people with a grudge rapidly bitch and remind me who I should have a grudge against.
Funnily, the longest-held grudge against me is from some kid in the Brazilian north when I was 9, it was funny to return after 15 years to visit the same small town and see him again.
Funnily, the longest-held grudge against me is from some kid in the Brazilian north when I was 9, it was funny to return after 15 years to visit the same small town and see him again.
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