Best way to save your marriage? Let him cheat!!

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Dave

Dave

Staff member
'Sugarbabe' favors negotiated infidelity - CNN.com

Is it just me or is this the dumbest article ever written?

It's a fairly long article that says basically that all men are going to cheat so you should probably get used to the idea and just let them, but make rules. Her rule is that her man can sleep with any woman he wants but he can't spend the night with them.

Again, the book is written by a "former mistress" who "posted an ad online announcing her search for a sugar daddy, someone who would pay her $1,000 a week in exchange for her company, cooking, conversation, massages and, when they desired it, sex."

Guys, do you think this would wash with the wife?

Ladies, how full of crap is this woman?
 
Covar

Covar

Someone needs to find the clip from Arrested Development where Lindsay and Tobias discuss having an open marriage.
 
Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

The term is "Companion."

Seriously though, the lady has a skewed perspective (like almost anyone, for that matter). Men are not always going to cheat - nor are women, for that matter. Saying that they are is a blanket generality that I find more than a little offensive.

And as for having it go over with the wife? This is would about as well as inviting Hitler to a Bar Mitzvah
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

I call shenanigans. I had to stop at this line:

People who are higher in narcissim -- whether they are male or female -- are more likely to cheat.
Click to expand...
I'm hugely narcissistic - which I accept as a natural consequence of being as pretty as I am - and there's no way I would ever have an affair.
 
LittleSin

LittleSin

Ehhh.

I'd go for an open relationship....IF i get to join in.

So I guess I'd go for a threesome, is what I'm saying. Except, while I would go for sleeping with another woman, I know my husband would never go for sleeping with another man...which has always been something I wanted. We can't reach a compromise on this so we're stuck with each. :p

I'm perfectly fine with that to. :)
 
Morphine

Morphine

Prrrrrt. So full of crap, I kind of feel sorry for her.

"Ideally the woman will want to stray as well," says Hill. "Some won't want to because they're at home taking care of toddlers. But the woman definitely needs to negotiate infidelity as well, especially because that will generate her man's competitive nature. The more lovers the woman has, the more attraction the man will have for his partner."

HA!
...yeah.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Would I go for it in my marriage? No. That's not my idea of what marriage is about. If it works for them, though, then more power to 'em. I also don't understand swingers, but for some people it's a good thing.

I am pretty lenient compared to most wives from the stories I get told. I can't believe how many of the guys Mr. Wasabi works with who have to ask for permission to go out with the guys. Permission! Like they are children! It blows my mind that anyone would treat their spouse (husband or wife) like that. Wanna go play poker? Have fun! Going to go to a titty bar? Enjoy and I hope the strippers aren't gross! The only thing I ask is that he lets me know ahead of time that he's going (don't spring it on me an hour before you're leaving) and that he calls if he's going to be home later than he thought so I don't worry that something bad has happened. That's it. I have shocked and amazed plenty of his co-workers and their wives because I don't keep my husband on a leash.
 
LittleSin

LittleSin

Wasabi Poptart said:
Would I go for it in my marriage? No. That's not my idea of what marriage is about. If it works for them, though, then more power to 'em. I also don't understand swingers, but for some people it's a good thing.

I am pretty lenient compared to most wives from the stories I get told. I can't believe how many of the guys Mr. Wasabi works with who have to ask for permission to go out with the guys. Permission! Like they are children! It blows my mind that anyone would treat their spouse (husband or wife) like that. Wanna go play poker? Have fun! Going to go to a titty bar? Enjoy and I hope the strippers aren't gross! The only thing I ask is that he lets me know ahead of time that he's going (don't spring it on me an hour before you're leaving) and that he calls if he's going to be home later than he thought so I don't worry that something bad has happened. That's it. I have shocked and amazed plenty of his co-workers and their wives because I don't keep my husband on a leash.
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I do this as well. Blue doesn't have to ask to go out. He hardly ever does take off for a night of fun with 'the guys' but he has the chance he doesn't have to ask me first.

The only thing I have asked him to ask my permission for is buying things. He gets bit of spare cash and burns through it...so I told him to call me before he purchases anything so I can help him evaluate if we really need the special addition BioShock 2 box or if Jet needs a mini roller coater that can be set up in the living room.

The answer is usually 'no'.
 
Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

Dave said:
'Sugarbabe' favors negotiated infidelity - CNN.com

Is it just me or is this the dumbest article ever written?

It's a fairly long article that says basically that all men are going to cheat so you should probably get used to the idea and just let them, but make rules. Her rule is that her man can sleep with any woman he wants but he can't spend the night with them.

Again, the book is written by a "former mistress" who "posted an ad online announcing her search for a sugar daddy, someone who would pay her $1,000 a week in exchange for her company, cooking, conversation, massages and, when they desired it, sex."

Guys, do you think this would wash with the wife?

Ladies, how full of crap is this woman?
Click to expand...
Negotiated "cheating" is just another name for "swinging" or "open relationship". There's a fairly large population of people who engage in this kind of thing, though it's definitely non-mainstream.

Some people think the world works for everyone like it works for them. I'm not a believer in one-size-fits-all solutions. I don't want a preacher, a housewife, a baseball star or a prostitute telling me what a 'normal' sex life is. I think I am smart enough to figure out on my own what works for me.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I knew a couple that their open marriage worked, at least for the 3 years that I knew them. It normally centered on the husband bringing home new "friends" from a nearby gay bar. Or the wife picking up a guy at the bar and seeing how he reacts in the morning when the husband wakes him up with a "favor." I damned near fell into that trap. I did not go through with it because she was married.

I know 2 guys that they flipped out that way.
 
LittleSin

LittleSin

Tinwhistler;423589][QUOTE=Dave said:
'Sugarbabe' favors negotiated infidelity - CNN.com

Is it just me or is this the dumbest article ever written?

It's a fairly long article that says basically that all men are going to cheat so you should probably get used to the idea and just let them, but make rules. Her rule is that her man can sleep with any woman he wants but he can't spend the night with them.

Again, the book is written by a "former mistress" who "posted an ad online announcing her search for a sugar daddy, someone who would pay her $1,000 a week in exchange for her company, cooking, conversation, massages and, when they desired it, sex."

Guys, do you think this would wash with the wife?

Ladies, how full of crap is this woman?
Click to expand...
Negotiated "cheating" is just another name for "swinging" or "open relationship". There's a fairly large population of people who engage in this kind of thing, though it's definitely non-mainstream.

Some people think the world works for everyone like it works for them. I'm not a believer in one-size-fits-all solutions. I don't want a preacher, a housewife, a baseball star or a prostitute telling me what a 'normal' sex life is. I think I am smart enough to figure out on my own what works for me.[/QUOTE]

Tin wins!
 
C

Chibibar

I think the article is a bit skewed. The problem is not that "men always cheat" (which not all men do nor women, it is kinda like say all Asian are smart which is not true. I'm Asian, and I'm not that smart)

The main issue is to see WHY people cheat? my personal thinking is that people seek certain things in a relationship. When their partner doesn't provide certain things (remember it is mutual) people tend to seek out somewhere else if they can't find a compromise within the relationship.

It is not always about sex. It could be companionship, having a date night, enjoying time together. It can be anything really. I think people should focus more on why people cheat instead of ignoring and "negotiate" crap like the article. If the person really want an open relationship, there are many pitfalls in that and a very rocky road.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Tinwhistler said:
I'm not a believer in one-size-fits-all solutions. I don't want a preacher, a housewife, a baseball star or a prostitute telling me what a 'normal' sex life is. I think I am smart enough to figure out on my own what works for me.
Click to expand...
:thumbsup: I totally agree. And it extends beyond sex, too. I have a friend who is married. She and her husband have decided they do not want children. She has many people telling her that she will change her mind, her husband will want kids, this is a mistake for their marriage, etc. This is their marriage. This is what they have decided, together, and it works for both of them. No one should tell them it's wrong when they both agree it's what they want.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
If I let people tell me how my marriage should go I either wouldn't have gotten married or I'd have been divorced after the first year or two.
 
Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Come on Dave, according to that author you're going to cheat anyways... might as well negotiate some rules and go on out there and start banging!
 
C

Chibibar

Dave said:
If I let people tell me how my marriage should go I either wouldn't have gotten married or I'd have been divorced after the first year or two.
Click to expand...
heh... that is a ditto for me.
 
Piotyr

Piotyr

I'm a firm believer that the #1 most important thing to keep a marriage going is a commitment to your spouse. I wouldn't recommend doing anything that even subconsciously betrays that commitment.

Note: That does not mean sticking with him while he beats you. In this case, he betrayed that commitment the first time he laid a violent hand on you.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Truthfully, I could bang other girls if I wanted. All I'd have to do is print this article out & give it to my wife.


I'm sure I'd have all the free time in the world to do it not too long after that.:p
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

What the article describes is not my cup of tea, and the all-inclusiveness of it is stupid, but I know a few couples who have rules about outside the marriage sex, though not the "sugarbaby" type thing being described. For most of them, it's more about setting up threesomes, and swinging with other couples.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Oh come on. "Hey baby, you ever heard of Halforums? I own that shit." Dude, it's like an unlimited use free booty coupon.
 
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