The Dating Thread

[ThatNickGuy]

Kinda spinning off the "I has a date" thread, I figure we could have a thread dedicated to the single Halforumers out there who want to share their dating stories. Maybe you've got a date coming up. Or just had one. That sorta thing. And keep the "dating? I'm married/taken, suckers!" comments to a minimum, kay? Nothin' worse than being single AND hearing about someone's fabulous relationship.

So, for me: I've honestly given up on dating for now. I was a pretty active dating site user for a long time. I was on PlentyofFish and OkCupid. The latter probably brought me the most success in terms of dating. I had a number of first dates and a handful of very short relationships (lasting a month or two at the most). I don't know what it is, though, that I'm just not securing anything longer. I haven't had a significant relationship in seven or so years.

I have a feeling it's largely due to my near non-existent confidence in myself. Whenever I see a girl I might be interested in, I don't immediately assume she's taken, but immediately assume that she wouldn't be interested in me in that way. After all, I'm 32, struggled with depression most of my life, in my last year of getting just a Bachelor's degree and am a big geek. I've been single for so long now that I'm honestly starting to think, if not assume, that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.

As I said, I've pretty much given up on dating, for now. I deleted my profile on both sites. Right now, I'm just not going to persue anyone, even if I think there might be a chance. If a gal persues me, then maybe I'll think about it. I'm just clearly not in the right frame of mind for anyone these days.

 

[Chibibar]

One of the secrets my friends told me is that......... dating never stops.

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you can still date from time to time. It is good. You be surprise the new stuff you learn years from now.

We recently had a date to go see "Tangled" at Studio Movie Grill. It was a lot of fun. Movie is good. Food is bad this time around (no more all you can eat pizza on Thursday. It is on Wednesday only now )

 

[Frank]

I've mostly just had flings here and there since my last real relationship. It's not easy in such a small community.

 

[Cheesy1]

I have a lunch date tomorrow with a girl that I've been courting for some time now. I really like her. She's geeky, kind, very humble, funny, and it's all wrapped up in a cute little package! And the last time we were together, we shared our first kiss. There's a few things, however, that are keeping us from starting a full-blown relationship. First of all, we're both insecure people, her especially. She's afraid of hurting me if things go wrong, and I'm working to try and assure her that she doesn't need to be. Secondly, there's a considerable age difference between us. I'm 11 years older than her. And finally, she happens to be my best friend's little sister. He already knows that I've shown interest in her, and he seems to be as cool with it as an older brother can be, but it still brings some awkwardness to the whole thing. But after everything that happened to me after my trip to Virginia, it's nice to know that I can have this sort of bond with someone else again. I'm taking things slow, being a gentleman, and making sure I'm doing things right by her. She's something special, especially for somebody like me.

 

[North_Ranger]

It's been a little over a month since the break-up... and no, still no inclination to seek out new prospects.

*sighs*

 

[Jiarn]

Long story short:

I'm pulling away from the older woman, because I think I'm falling for one of my best friends. Which I already know, isn't going to happen.

 

[Hailey Knight]

One of the secrets my friends told me is that......... dating never stops.

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you can still date from time to time. It is good. You be surprise the new stuff you learn years from now.

We recently had a date to go see "Tangled" at Studio Movie Grill. It was a lot of fun. Movie is good. Food is bad this time around (no more all you can eat pizza on Thursday. It is on Wednesday only now )

Sometimes it does stop. The idea shouldn't be that dating can still happen, but that a couple really needs. Even homebodies like me and DreamGoddess need to get out and just enjoy ourselves now and then. It keeps a relationship from growing stagnant and from a long-term couple from taking each other for granted, reminding them they can have fun together. Part of my mom and stepdad's couple's therapy was that they had to make one night a week into "date night", where they went out and did something for themselves and not worry about the kids for one night.

 

[Docseverin]

This could turn into the most depressing thread ever.....ever. I am 6 months away from being able to actively date and I am quite frankly looking forward to it. It will be legen....wait for it.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Hope no one's lactose intolerant when Doc finishes that sentence!

 

[Morphine]

I have a feeling it's largely due to my near non-existent confidence in myself. Whenever I see a girl I might be interested in, I don't immediately assume she's taken, but immediately assume that she wouldn't be interested in me in that way. After all, I'm 32, struggled with depression most of my life, in my last year of getting just a Bachelor's degree and am a big geek. I've been single for so long now that I'm honestly starting to think, if not assume, that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.

As I said, I've pretty much given up on dating, for now. I deleted my profile on both sites. Right now, I'm just not going to persue anyone, even if I think there might be a chance. If a gal persues me, then maybe I'll think about it. I'm just clearly not in the right frame of mind for anyone these days.

ThatNickGuy... you're hot, funny and nice and I'm sure a lot of other good things that I don't know because I don't know you that well, most girls would kill to date you, KNOW THAT.

P.S.: geek is always a plus in my book.

 

[LittleSin]

It's been a little over a month since the break-up... and no, still no inclination to seek out new prospects.

*sighs*

Aw. *hugs*

If it makes you feel better I'll admit that if I was single I'd be really into you. You such a lovably dorky guy.

''Dorky' is a plus in my book!

Edit: Apparently I can't spell.

Plus Morphine and I are on the same wavelength.

 

[Docseverin]

dary!

 

[North_Ranger]

It's been a little over a month since the break-up... and no, still no inclination to seek out new prospects.

*sighs*

Aw. *hugs*

If it makes you feel better I'll admit that if I was single I'd be really into you. You such a lovably dorky guy.

''Dorky' is a plus in my book!

Edit: Apparently I can't spell.

Plus Morphine and I are on the same wavelength.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, Sin...

I'm just starting to get a little discouraged, that's all. All nice geek girls that I know of are pretty much taken, and my dating history is pretty much a train wreck after another:
- The Psycho Bitch Queen
- A crummy one-night stand.
- A little person (midget? dwarf? Lollipop Guild lifetime member?) on a blind date.
- A f***ed-up goth girl with her own porn site
- A long-distance relationship that went belly up
- And the last one

I don't know why but I always end up dating people with a helluva lot of baggage. And if I don't call it quits right away, the relationship ends after clearing that baggage. *sighs* I'd like a relationship where I don't have to be a frickin' therapist to my significant other...

And what's more? The only single women who apparently find me even remotely interesting live on the other side of the Atlantic... *deeper sigh*

 

[ThatNickGuy]

As much as I'm down about being single right now, North, I do have something to share with you: each of my relationships, and even each girl that I've dated briefly (even first dates!) have taught me something. I won't go into details now, but believe me, as time goes on and you look back, you'll be able to see it. Time allows perspective. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason and that there's a connectedness to a lot of things in our life. Not necessarily fate, but more in the sense of learning from our mistakes or just learning something from every situation.

 

[Docseverin]

I have learned that marriage does not fit my personality type, which when I think about it doesn't depress me. It empowers me, I know that when I enter a relationship I can be honest with the woman I am with and there are no expectations. If you want marriage and children then I am not your man, if you want to travel and experience new things, then lets travel and enjoy each others company.

 

[Jiarn]

I would be the absolute polar opposite Doc.

I'm a solidly commited guy, who's really looking for someone who wants to experience a relationship where both people give each other strength when they need it most, are through it no matter what, and with the goal of raising a family together.

 

[Terrik]

I use to teeter between a Doc and Jiarn, but now I'm more firmly on Jiarn's side of things.

Also TNG is spot on. I've had "failures" but some those "failures" were actually fantastic relationships that ended for one reason or another and I wouldn't change anything about them despite the fact they ended. I lived, I learned, I loved, now move on until you find something more suitable. I thought my ex-gf was *the* girl for me and that idea about her slowly deteriorated over the year we were together. I learned a lot from her, however, and I've met Zhen Zhen, who more firmly fits what I want in a girl and I wouldn't have known that without all those previous experiences.

So yeah, it's all good.

 

[Docseverin]

I am not saying I am going to sleep with whoever I want whenever I want. I am just saying that at some point most of the relationships I have been in hit an end point and that the laws and institution of marriage hindered the ending of those relationships. So marriage isn't as glamorous to me, I think that it is possible to have a fulfilling and loving, committed relationship with a woman/man without the need for marriage. I am not someone who wants kids, I feel that I would be just as happy if not more so fulfilling my life in alternative ways.

 

[Hailey Knight]

I am not saying I am going to sleep with whoever I want whenever I want.

But he totally could.

 

[Cajungal]

I have a feeling it's largely due to my near non-existent confidence in myself. Whenever I see a girl I might be interested in, I don't immediately assume she's taken, but immediately assume that she wouldn't be interested in me in that way. After all, I'm 32, struggled with depression most of my life, in my last year of getting just a Bachelor's degree and am a big geek. I've been single for so long now that I'm honestly starting to think, if not assume, that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.

As I said, I've pretty much given up on dating, for now. I deleted my profile on both sites. Right now, I'm just not going to persue anyone, even if I think there might be a chance. If a gal persues me, then maybe I'll think about it. I'm just clearly not in the right frame of mind for anyone these days.

ThatNickGuy... you're hot, funny and nice and I'm sure a lot of other good things that I don't know because I don't know you that well, most girls would kill to date you, KNOW THAT.

P.S.: geek is always a plus in my book. [/QUOTE]

Just wanna second this. Nick, you are delightful. You're healthy, good-looking, have interesting hobbies, and are a talented writer. I'd call that a recipe for a catch.

On my end, regular-feeling dating has just begun again. It's so nice to live in the same city as Jake again after 3 1/2 years! We're hanging out tomorrow... on a Monday. I'm still having trouble processing that, but I'm liking this relocation veddy veddy much.

 

[Hylian]

I sadly don;t see myself dating anytime soon. I have been going through some things trying to figure out just who and what I am and that on top of a low self esteem/confidence. It hit me a few years ago that I have never had a girlfriend (heck I haven't even been on a real date before) I have been doing better the past few years with making some positive changes in my life but I still have a low self esteem/confidence issues that don't seem to help the issue. I have tried OkCupid recently but that hasn't lead anywhere. No one even bothers to respond to my emails and I can't say I really blame them to much. But while I don't see myself dating any time "soon" I do see that things will hopefully change in the near future (but we will see)

 

[Jiarn]

Ugh, I feel so stuck right now:
I decided against telling my friend (Really think it would jeopordize what we have and I'd rather have that than lose her).
I've pushed away the older woman who was interested in me because I'm not looking for a "fling" and I don't see her as dating material.
The last "fling" I had, wanted a relationship and I didn't, with her.
I find myself thinking of calling up my ex who left me a year ago and blindly trying to get back together (even though I know that's a huge mistake and the only reason I'm considering it is because I'm lonely)

My options are trying to sign up for a dating site, but I would only really be able to afford one. Match.com OKcupid, Zoosk and Plentyoffish seem to cater to a more "general" populace and I'm really tired of dating outside of the geek circle. Gk2Gk and Soulgeek don't really have alot of members in my area so it almost seems a waste to get an account with them.

I'm feeling like I'm losing my chance. I'm 29, twice divorced, 2 kids and a huge geek/gamer. I'm in really good shape though and have the confidence to "woo" but I just don't have the opportunities. Ugh....

 

[ThatNickGuy]

If it helps, OKCupid and PlentyofFish are 100% free.

 

[Math242]

I made a move towards a girl I've liked for a few years since for the first time we were both free at the same time.

She told me she would have loved to take things further but she cannot because her best friend is into me (i knew that but have no interest whatsoever). What the fuck, are you 12?

Damn, i'm pissed.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Eh, you gotta admit, there's something admirable in that. I'd likely do the same thing if I were in that situation. Is her friend cute?

 

[LittleSin]

I hate the "bro's before hoes" mentality. I remember ,in igh school, I had a painfully bad crush on a guy in my biology class. However, when it became obvious that a friend of mine likes him and her liked her back, I never let it bother me. It just wasn't in the cards.

People should just go for it. A real friend wouldn't want to interfere with that kinda thing.

 

[Jiarn]

That's kind of what happened to me, but I didn't say anything. Looking back, I should have.

Me and my guy best friend, were friends with a girl. I thought she was interesting, and wanted to pursue her as more than a friend. I really didn't make too much mention of it. Out of nowhere, girl asks me about him. 2 Weeks later, they're dating.... They just broke up 3 days ago, it lasted 2 months.

 

[Gusto]

I hate the "bro's before hoes" mentality. I remember ,in igh school, I had a painfully bad crush on a guy in my biology class. However, when it became obvious that a friend of mine likes him and her liked her back, I never let it bother me. It just wasn't in the cards.

People should just go for it. A real friend wouldn't want to interfere with that kinda thing.

I've used it as a motivator in the past. Tell your friend that if they don't go for it within a certain time, then you're going to.

 

[Math242]

Eh, you gotta admit, there's something admirable in that. I'd likely do the same thing if I were in that situation. Is her friend cute?

she's alright but she's batshit insane in the not attractive way.

I respect the bros before hoes IF a friend of mine has tapped it or if dates happened... "Dibs" is just not enough otherwise i'd never hook up with my friends always commenting on girls and never actually making a move

 

[Jiarn]

So plentyoffish just made me an amazing connection. This girl is right in so many ways.

Sent her an email about a week ago, even though I had noticed she hadn't logged into the site in weeks. She was just so great in so many ways. Her entire "favorites" list was like reading off of my own. WoW player (leads raids), into the same music genres (Metal, Rock, Alternative Rock) hobbies (She has a daughter, loves to cook, plays console as well as PC games) and attitude (doesn't let the world get her down, even when it's going downhill at times) and she's been single for a good while.

Well after a few days of no response, I had given up. I figured someone like her had gotten snatched up pretty quick and had moved on from the site. Till I got an email response yesterday afternoon. I flipped. I was giddy and eager to respond, even though I was at work. I managed to get an email out to her back, half expecting her to take a while to respond... I got another email back within 10 minutes. Sadly I got swamped at work, but I gave her my regular email address so she could REAL ID me on WoW.

I get home, and I already have the friend request. We talked for a solid 3hrs before I had to log out to get some stuff done around the house and she was going to make dinner. About 20minutes into the break, she calls me (I had given her my number to text me if she wanted to, didn't want her to feel rushed or pushed to call so soon) she was like "I hope it's ok, but I was waiting for the sauce to set and was having a smoke". I was floored. We talked back and forth between the phone and in WoW for a total of 6hrs through the night.

I've never connected with anyone like this before, I know it's only one day so I'm not really getting my hopes too high, but I will say I'm excited.

 

[Math242]

i'm going to be the shallow bastard but were there any pictures in the profle?

 

[Jiarn]

Yes, we friended each other on facebook afterward too and spent a good time going over all her pictures. She's beautiful, cute, sexy and very confident in her apperance.

I'm not shallow either, but I will admit that I passed up a few profiles, with alot of common interests due to not being attracted to them. Seeing her pictures in her profile also had made me think she was going to have been taken quickly.

 

[Math242]

Good. She's funny, good looking and has the same interests. she must be batshit insane.

Enjoy

 

[Jiarn]

One can only hope! -grin-

She also blew me away with her kindness. She's a caregiver at a nursing home, studying to be an RN. She's known as the caregiver that all the "problem" patients are given to, because she just has a way with people. She loves the elderly and cares for them on a daily basis. It's really endearing.

 

[TheBrew]

Dude, this sounds like it should belong in the epic win thread. Good job!!!