Hyperbole herein
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GasBandit
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Blackadder had some good ones too... "As (in)effective as a catflap in an elephant house." "As poor as a churchmouse whose wife has just left him, running off with all the cheese." And of course... "I've got a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel."
"delusions of adequacy..."
You rang?
figmentPez
Staff member
This is the best thread since Ariadne gave Theseus a ball of red twine!
The chug hole in the parking lot has more depth.
If you're going to go with allegory, I love to abuse Greek myths for minor achievements. If you teach someone something small, like a new word, liken yourself to Prometheus bringing fire to man. Anything of the most remote challenge is a "Sisyphean task".
North_Ranger
Staff member
I have some pretty vivid descriptions of bodily aches, as due to a hereditary flaw I'm more prone to have them. "Like someone cut my flesh open, poured in some molten lead and sealed the wound" is how I describe the hereditary joint pain. "Like a railroad spike through the forehead and out the back" for a splitting headache. "Like my throat's lined up with sandpaper" for a very sore throat.
I do have others, as well. If a drink tastes horrid, I liken it to cat's piss. If a food tastes horrible, it tastes like it's been digested already, twice. My brother's so bald he uses Turtle Wax every morning. I have a friend whose nose arrives five minutes before he does. If I wear anything red, I look like a giant tomato. When my beard's gone unkempt and unruly, I look like the lovechild of Santa Claus and the Unabomber.
I do have others, as well. If a drink tastes horrid, I liken it to cat's piss. If a food tastes horrible, it tastes like it's been digested already, twice. My brother's so bald he uses Turtle Wax every morning. I have a friend whose nose arrives five minutes before he does. If I wear anything red, I look like a giant tomato. When my beard's gone unkempt and unruly, I look like the lovechild of Santa Claus and the Unabomber.
-Your stupidity just passed its Schwarzschild radius.
-His head is so dense, his brain would sink in mercury.
-Groovy as a scratching post made of LPs.
(too tired to dream up more right now)
Terry Pratchett (I think) has one of my favorites (I'll try to quote it as best I can).
"He's the kind of guy that would stand on a mountaintop in a thunderstorm wearing copper armor and shout, 'The Gods are wimps!'"
--Patrick
-His head is so dense, his brain would sink in mercury.
-Groovy as a scratching post made of LPs.
(too tired to dream up more right now)
Terry Pratchett (I think) has one of my favorites (I'll try to quote it as best I can).
"He's the kind of guy that would stand on a mountaintop in a thunderstorm wearing copper armor and shout, 'The Gods are wimps!'"
--Patrick
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