[Important] North_Ranger's Wacky Tumor Thread

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Heh, thanks, Dave. I've been cheering myself up with some good books and DVDs, so no worries there. I just wanted to rant a bit; it's been a hard week-and-a-half since the last round of chemo, mostly because of what's been going on in my nethers. The tumor's in the bladder, and the chemo drugs are known to be especially harsh on that region of the body, so I get a double whammy of discomfort when it comes to that.
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

I'm just happy you're still with us, man! You had me worried when I didn't see you post for a while there. Stay strong, buddy!
 
doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Staff member
You seem to be pretty strong about it. Me? I've been extremely lazy lately, and reading all this just makes me go, "Man, I don't think I could put up with all that." You're strong in my eyes, homes.
 
Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Hell yeah, man! It don't matter if it feels like all you're doing is spinning your wheels - here, you always have a captive audience!

(Seriously, Dave's got me chained to this thing... I see you all in my dreeeeeeams....)


You'll beat this down, go out, shoot arrows, score a bullseye, then receive a wet one from a buxom lass! 'Cause that's what happens when you beat cancer.

At least, it should. Make it happen! Haakaa päälle!
 
drawn_inward

drawn_inward

Hey NR, I don't I've wished you well since you announced it, but I hope your body responds to the treatment and you get better. Hope to hear that you're back to the pantless saunas soon!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Okay... some news...

Went to the doctor today to have my bladder checked with a lovely procedure that included a numbing gel and a camera mounted on a limber plastic tube. I'll leave the exact details of how that went about to your individual imaginations. But the point of all this was to see if there was something that could be done to keep me from peeing constantly (currently going at once every 1,5 hours, 24/7).

Aaaaand they found I have an inflamed prostate, that's actually pressing on my bladder and making it so that I have a constant need to urinate, even though there's little to pee. So in other words, I've got a problem that's usually the domain of old men (Hi Dave!).

The other piece of news is... the doctor couldn't find any sign of a tumor inside my bladder :)
 
Adam

Adam

North_Ranger said:
Okay... some news...

Went to the doctor today to have my bladder checked with a lovely procedure that included a numbing gel and a camera mounted on a limber plastic tube. I'll leave the exact details of how that went about to your individual imaginations. But the point of all this was to see if there was something that could be done to keep me from peeing constantly (currently going at once every 1,5 hours, 24/7).

Aaaaand they found I have an inflamed prostate, that's actually pressing on my bladder and making it so that I have a constant need to urinate, even though there's little to pee. So in other words, I've got a problem that's usually the domain of old men (Hi Dave!).

The other piece of news is... the doctor couldn't find any sign of a tumor inside my bladder :)
Click to expand...
That sounds like all good news to me. It's one thing to have a symptom of an unknown problem, but to have a known problem that can be treate. As well, excellent news on the lack of bladder tumour!
 
Null

Null

Seconding Adammon. Lack of a tumor is almost always good news. (It's only bad news when it leads to further questions...)
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Okay, the holidays are beginning to tide down. Despite my fears, I had a lovely Christmas time with my folks, even though coming out of the chemo on the 23rd meant I spent much of Christmas resting and sleeping. The only downside to the whole holiday was that after four days of hospital food, my system just didn't cope too well with the plenitude of holiday dishes: ham, meat balls, potatoes with gravy, beet salad, eggs, various smoked fish. The end result was something I'll spoilerize to spare the sanity of those who do not wish to know:

I ended up producing more crap in two days than a Hello Kitty factory.

Also, I went to look for wigs yesterday. But alas, there is a curse upon my head. Quite literally, even. One of my family's prominent features is that we're big-headed. No, not pig-headed (not always, anyway) but big-headed, huge of the cranium, humongous noggins and so on and so forth. The nice lady at the shop promised she'd call the main office to see if there were any plus size available, but today I got a call telling me that they simply don't make wigs that would fit my head. In fact, if I do want a wig, they have to order it. Custom made. From Germany. And it will take four months.

So sorry, guys :( I know I promised you funny pictures of me trying on different wigs, but it seems that isn't really possible.

Now I'm trying to find one of those thin crochet hats that dumbass celebs wear, instead.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Good to see you back mang.

Just shave clean for two to four months after chemo then let it grow wild again. I finally let my hair grow, after a month I can nearly trim it now. I am sure you have a couple of woolly or furry hats to keep your noggin warm.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Well, I do have one or two woollen caps, but that's about it. Fur hats? No, haven't got any of those. For one, there's still the problem of my head being two big. The other reason is that one of the less complimenting nicknames for a furry hat hereabouts is "bear vagina".

As for shaving... well, already done that. Hell, I haven't even shaved my chin for the past three months, chemo wiped that all out. What was more terrifying, however, was realizing that it wasn't just the hair on my head and chin that was getting thinner and gone, but.... everywhere. I'll spare the sanity of you fine folks by not saying where exactly, but let's just say it's in a place I hear Olympic swimmers and porn actors shave. The former for reasons aerodynamic, the latter for aesthetic.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

It grows back. I went from nearly reddish brown with streaks of gray, to salt and pepper. But my beard has grown back fuller.

How much longer do you get to deal with chemo?
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
I hear ya. My aunt who also has cancer, went from ginger to almost white due to her chemo. Granted, she has it a lot worse than I do.

As for chemo, it's still up in the air. I'm going to a CT scan on Jan 3rd, and based on what kind of response there has been to the treatment, the doctors will decide what comes next. The main problem is that I have a number of diminutive tumors in my lungs. Chemo will work on those as well as the main tumor in my bladder; laser therapy is good only for topical treatment, and surgery is not an option as long as the tumor in my bladder is of the size it is now. So if the tumors in my lungs haven't disappeared, I'll likely be undergoing chemo for at least 3-4 months more.

To be honest, I'm terrified of the prospect of going under the knife. Because of the tumor's location, there's a chance they might have to take out my bladder as well. And if they take that, they also take my prostate. Hell, it's already been told that if I undergo surgery, they'll also whip out my defunct left kidney. So surgery would leave me with a bad artificial bladder and a likelihood of impotence. So... not really looking forward to that.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
I'll have to look into that...

Got a call from the hospital today, regarding the CT scan they did last week. No change :( Which in itself is okay - when it comes to cancer, no news is good news - but it's still a bit of a disappointment, concerning how high my hopes had got when they found out that the inside of my bladder was cleared of tumors. Still got a number of small ones in my lungs and a huge lump nudging against my bladder, but at least they haven't gotten bigger.

Apparently the next course of action is radiotherapy, seeing how the big tumor responds to that. It's also necessary at this point because the months of chemo have done a number on my blood cell counts. This week I had to go to the hospital twice for transfusions because my hemoglobine values were down in the dumps. I'm also supposed to keep an eye on any surprising bruises and nose bleeds, because the trombosytes - I don't know what's the colloquial in English, in Finnish it's 'blood flakes' for the cells that stop hemorrhaging - were only a quarter of what they should be for a healthy man. In this kind of a situation, continuing chemo is not really an option; it would just leave me weakened as hell. So, I'm waiting for an appointment in radiotherapy.

Otherwise... well, otherwise there's a few things, mostly irritation of the urinary tract and old hemorrhoids acting up due to the inflamed prostate and the resulting heightened need to visit the toilet. Other than that, doing okay.
 
doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Staff member
All these cancer threads are bringing me down. You're way stronger than I think I'd be on this, and I keep reading and responding to show my support and that we care. :)

You've pushed the cancer back to a halt, the only way to go from there is to keep pushing it back and out. :)
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Okay... This is actually a little weird. It's been almost two weeks into the New Year, and despite the news that there wasn't any reduction in my tumors... I'm actually feeling pretty good.

Don't get me wrong, now. I'm still balder than Elmer Fudd and about as hairy as a Ken doll, I'm still running to the toilet 4-5 times a night because of the prostate... but besides all that, I'm actually feeling better than I have in a few months. It's the little things, really. My apetite's getting better, and even though I have to drink like a camel due to the antibiotics and then as a result pee like a race horse I've gotten that annoyance to a tolerable level. Still have trouble going to the movies and such but getting better. Radiotherapy starts next week, and I'm thinking of asking about possibilities to gather sperm before that. I wasn't offered the possibility before - I'm thinking the fact that I'm almost 29 and single had something to do with it - but since there's a fair chance the therapy will do a number on my reproductive capacity, I'd rather ask and see what the doctor says. A little worried about little things like that, you know... but I'm getting up earlier every morning, and I'm getting back on my feet. Hell, might even go and give the longbow a shot, weather permitting.

Okay, I guess I'm just rambling... anyway, all things considered the current mood is pretty okay.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
I know. Guess I'm just a little peeved at the situation, that's all. I mean, on one round of chemo I shared a room with a guy who had just been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer. He's about 5-10 years older than me, married and with a young child. Before they even started the chemo the doctor asked if he wanted to have some sperm put aside because chemo tends to weaken the quality of the sperm. When I started chemo, nobody even asked me that. Okay, the guy's married but it did felt more than a little discriminatory. I didn't speak up about it then because I couldn't have given a sample anyway; chemo had been going on for a few rounds already. And to be honest, the problems I had with the plumbing also meant that the amusement park was also closed, if you know what I mean.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Just masturbate into a bottle and stick it in the freezer. Screw those science guys!

(Just don't forget and defrost....)
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Honestly I was 42 and single and that was the leading question wherever I landed in the medical field. It just sucked that I could not afford the $1,500 to $4,000 (not covered at all by insurance.)

Edit:

I meant to add that these guys forget a lot. Hell they even forgot to tell me to put ice on my sac. Then what was left behind had swollen to the point that I asked the doc if he really did remove a testicle.
 
Adam

Adam

Funny story, when we did our first round of IVF, my part consisted purely of a donation. For this donation, they give you a little room with some reading material. I was fortunate enough to get the room where the only material was CHUBB, FATT and other similar genred pornography. LUCKY ME!
 
Adam

Adam

Amorous Eyes said:
I always found this incredibly silly. "Yes son, you were conceived by your dad jerking off to pornographic content." :p
Click to expand...
I could give him a new mom simply by turning the page.


Added:
(On a more serious note, my wife wasn't allowed anywhere near the room with me and we weren't allowed to do any traditional collection either for fear of contamination)
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
doomdragon6 said:
Liked just for this. Made me laugh.
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Heh, glad I could brighten your day, doom ol' boy. I just frankly consider this the best possible evidence against Intelligent Design. I mean, what kind of intelligence does it show that you have waste disposal and sex sharing the same facilities? If some civic engineer suggested something like that, they'd be laughed out of the city.
Added at: 03:44
Allen who is Quiet said:
Should he screw the science guys before, during, or after masturbating into the bottle?
Click to expand...
None, since he is a straight guy who just isn't interested in science guys. Unless they're Stephen Fry, because hell, the man's brilliant in whatever he does.

Now, science gals, on the other hand...
Added at: 03:47
Adammon said:
Funny story, when we did our first round of IVF, my part consisted purely of a donation. For this donation, they give you a little room with some reading material. I was fortunate enough to get the room where the only material was CHUBB, FATT and other similar genred pornography. LUCKY ME!
Click to expand...
I have to admit, I'm shy enough that I actually don't think I could manage the "donation" part. Hell, I mean can there be anything less sexy than a frickin' hospital? Kind of a moodkiller, if you ask me :p
 
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