[Rant] Why does North American porn suck? (NSFW)

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Obviously, I'm generally going to talk about straight sex type of porn. So this may not apply to everyone.

I really don't see why people would get turned on watching it. I mean, the fakeness of the girls' performance is simply unbearable. They are excessively loud, fakes moan throughout the act and talk dirty (but not in a hot way, more on that later) but clearly they don't enjoy the sex and performers who enjoy sex is the main factor of a good porn, at least for me... to turn me on.

If it's not the generic female "body template" with the blonde/bleach hair made up by an artist before the shoot or the ridiculous breast jobs with DD+, the massive hips, or shitload of make-up... or perhaps the grand selection of 10 bodybuilders with fugly faces penis catalogue that annoys me.

But nothing, noooothing gets to me more than the generic "*stupid angry fake sex sound from mouth* OH YEAH OH YEAH FUCK ME *stupid angry fake sex sound from mouth*" x100 times during the scene they keep spitting out that simply kills the mood. I shall call this the "RAGING COW SYNDROME". It was cute when Jenna Jameson did it 2 decades ago, today? Not so much. Especially when EVERYONE IS DOING IT.

The opposite happens in European porn. Many times you can see the lust in their eyes and genuine movement while they perform. Even when they clearly act, they act it good and generally you'll see a more natural look to the women and most of them don't perform the "raging cow syndrome"... but even that has been catching on even there slowly over the years.

I won't go in the Asian market and all as I've seen is those girls look to be either stoically enduring it all with Vulcan-like performances or on the verge of tears while they make noises like chipmunks being stabbed with sharpened pencils. It's very disturbing and not at all hot, at least for me. I will not even bother to discuss the "other Asian porn" today.

Other things that annoy me :

The complete lack of kissing beyond the half-assed kisses at the beginning of scenes. Call me a hopeless romantic but when I watch a guy ramming a marble-hard cock the size of a civil war cannon into an 35 year old "teenage girl" in pigtail's tender ass, I want to see a little kissing, too. European porn? Kissing is always there, sometimes very passionate.

I get the whole idea behind having an orgasm on a woman's face, really I do. Sometimes I feel I want to do it as well. Just. Not. Every. Single. Fucking. Goddamn. Time. For the love of God, stop all the coming on all the faces!

I like seeing two women getting it on. Such is the way of things. Watching two women kiss... is the shit. And I enjoy watching it in porn, in regular movies and in real life. I recently stared at two women kissing a few rows in front of me in a movie theatre, and they weren't that attractive. Still, it was hot to watch! I could watch women kissing each other for hours. What I can't watch for hours is the "rest of it". You know... the lesbian sex part... it's a little, uh. Boring. There's a lot of, like, lapping. Hours of it. It's hot at first but after a while I stop paying attention and start balancing my checkbook or thinking about how badly I need to go buy light bulbs. Nothing against lesbians or anything, I know you're doing your best without the penis but it just gets a little dull for me to watch during a movie and throwing one of these scenes in every single goddamn straight porn movie gets old.

I hate stupid camera angles. So there's these two women working their way down on this guy. Just when they reach the destination with their mouths, the camera slowly pans up his muscular bodybuilder body to show us his fugly face. Sure, they'll eventually cut back to the action but not before showing us about ten seconds of how much he's enjoying it. Well, of course he's enjoying it. No shit sherlock. Who wouldn't? I don't need to see him enjoying it, is all... especially for 10-15 seconds.

Another point on this... excessive zooming. GOD DAMNIT I DON'T WANT TO SEE ALL THE WAY UP TO THE UTERUS! Just give a proper view of the situation instead of pressing the dick against the camera button. I hate it when finally a natural looking girl is in one of the scenes before the bastardisation of their bodies with implants AND they are wearing something hot, like lingerie, stockings, heels but you'll never see any of that, nope. Here's the guy's nut sack for a few minutes, only times they pan out is to their faces while they act like fucking retards. "OH YEAH! TAKE THAT SHIT." "Fuccck Meeeee... Fuuuuuuucccccckkk Meeeeeee Eeeeee EEEEeeee AAAAAhhhhhh AAhahaaaaaa AAaaaaa OOOOHHH OHHHH FUCK ME....... FUCK....... ME.... EEEEEEAaaaa Aaaaah, I'm commming!". Uh huh. Sure.

Sweet Jesus kill me now.

When the male actors start playing mini-putt with their dicks in the middle of the act, repeatedly while they both moan like fucking retards as if it's the best thing since sugar pie. This is a new trend and about as useless and evil as Twitter.

The lazy porn routine. You know... chick removes the man's pants while half-assedly kissing him. Uninspired blowjob, talking like idiots, "Suck it beautiful". Chick is then suddenly naked with no seductive getting naked scenes nor natural progression between positions. Woman does not get oral or gets a 30 second one while the guy looks absolutely lost on how to perform that act. Clipped sex in positions where bodies are hardly in contact ever (so you never get sense of them actually being interested in each other) for the best "camera view". Raging Cow Syndrome is consistent regardless of speed or action. AAAHA AAAAAH AAAAAH. Close-ups 80% of the time, who needs to know what the fuck is going on, look at the bodybuilder's balls for the next 5 minutes. Pull out early. Guy jacks off onto appreciative face.

Borrring.

The fact the guys need to jerk themselves off to finish, speaks wonders how terrible the whole industry is North American overall.

Throat fucking. Seriously, WTF.

And lastly, tattoos and piercings. Both are awful. When girls start having The Rock like tribal arm tattoos, along with the tramp stamp... with the assortment of more ink, I'll tell you, it turns me straight off.


So what's happening here? Do American people simply love that kind of over-the-top and unreal porn so directors are just giving people what they want? Or is this really happening in homes down there? How do you feel about the porn industry?

Discuss. :)
 
The other night we wanted to try something diffect...so we booted up the browser on you PS3 and went to redtube. I was excited. I like looking at naughty still images,some hentai and I like reading erotic stories so I thought this would be fun evening.

It wasn't. We flipped from porn to porn. All of it was fucking nasty. The husband was getting randy over it but I was just like 'What the hell is this?'

By the time he was ready to go...I wasn't. I might as well have stepped in a cold shower. It led to a less then stellar time in the bed room and a lot of frustration on both our parts.

He keeps apologizing about it but it really isn't his fault.

I'd love to see this 'European' porn.
 
Sounds like Gianna Michaels would be right up your alley as far as ''enjoying it'' goes. Other than that, Viv Thomas always makes great scenes, as does X-Art.

The good thing about porn on the internet is that you can just skip your way through the bad things and find whatever gets your goat. Especially with collective sites like apetube or fapdu that search through a number of different sites to provide clips.
 
The terribly acted moans and constant "fuck me now"'s aren't an issue when they're gagged.

You know, just tossing that out there.
 
The other night we wanted to try something diffect...so we booted up the browser on you PS3 and went to redtube. I was excited. I like looking at naughty still images,some hentai and I like reading erotic stories so I thought this would be fun evening.

It wasn't. We flipped from porn to porn. All of it was fucking nasty. The husband was getting randy over it but I was just like 'What the hell is this?'

By the time he was ready to go...I wasn't. I might as well have stepped in a cold shower. It led to a less then stellar time in the bed room and a lot of frustration on both our parts.

He keeps apologizing about it but it really isn't his fault.

I'd love to see this 'European' porn.
Good hentai is probably my poison of choice when watching with a partner.
 

doomdragon6

Staff member
You may like "Amateur Porn" then.

It's, uhhh..

nice.

-----------------------

On a separate and more TMI note, North American cosplay porn is way better than any Japanese cosplay porn. Unfortunately, THERE IS VERY LITTLE OF THIS.

Er, I mean.... um... nothing.
 
I personally have a thing for the "beautiful agony" videos.

You don't see any naughty bits at all..but they're hot as fuck
There's beautiful agony style vids out there now that do show all the naughty bits. Those are my favorite.

Hey, OC agrees with me. Good taste.
Added at: 20:55
Good hentai
I know it's opinion and I'm not someone who judges anyone on their choice of beat-off material (God knows I would never want anyone doing the same) unless it's law breaking but is there such a thing? I've only ever seen poorly animated, vile shit.
 
Beautiful Agony is basically a camera pointed down only framing the head and shoulders of someone (usually one of dem broads) while they masturbate and you watch the O-face.
 
There's beautiful agony style vids out there now that do show all the naughty bits. Those are my favorite.

Hey, OC agrees with me. Good taste.
Added at: 20:55


I know it's opinion and I'm not someone who judges anyone on their choice of beat-off material (God knows I would never want anyone doing the same) unless it's law breaking but is there such a thing? I've only ever seen poorly animated, vile shit.
There's some very high quality, high production value hentai out there.

And some of it gets weird.

Personally, I go for the weird.
 
Hmmmmm, I'll take a looksie one of these days.

How do you guys/gals feel about the state of the porn industry? I'm sure more than LittleSin have gone "What the fuck is this shit".
 
Unfortunately, since Beautiful Agony got somewhat popular, I've seen plenty of o-faces that look fake as hell to me..totally ruins the awesomeness of these vids.
Yeah, those are unfortunate.
Added at: 21:10
Hmmmmm, I'll take a looksie one of these days.

How do you guys/gals feel about the state of the porn industry? I'm sure more than LittleSin have gone "What the fuck is this shit".
Like the massive popularity of trashy, nasty and often demeaning gonzo porn. Yeah, doesn't really interest me.
 
M

makare

I only watch kink.com porn really and it's generally pretty good. There is porn I watch for stimulation and then there is porn I watch for laughs.. big hearty wtf laughs.

I also enjoy cam4 i think it is called. that can be fun. Sadly all my fave cams were linked up on my desktop which is rip at the moment.

I didn't get a chance to clean it off either and I am scared take it in the way it is. The first time I ever took it in to the computer repair shop it came back sans porn. Jerks.
 
I only watch kink.com porn really and it's generally pretty good. There is porn I watch for stimulation and then there is porn I watch for laughs.. big hearty wtf laughs.

I also enjoy cam4 i think it is called. that can be fun. Sadly all my fave cams were linked up on my desktop which is rip at the moment.

I didn't get a chance to clean it off either and I am scared take it in the way it is. The first time I ever took it in to the computer repair shop it came back sans porn. Jerks.
Would it have been weirder if it had come back with more porn?
 

doomdragon6

Staff member
You know, I've always been one to say that if there's a problem, do something about it.

My problem, as mentioned above, is that there is not enough North American cosplay porn. And I know I could make it. I have a background in web presence AND media, along with anime con / cosplay marketing. I could GET SOME MADE. Legally! And I would share it with the world! Possibly for a modest monthly fee!

But the girlfriend wouldn't approve. :|

(And don't even mention Cosplay Deviants, they are ugly and they suck.)
 
I have started to wonder if I should just start my own porn production company and film the kinda stuff that gets me off.

"Okay. So now in this scene I want to to run a thumb along her bottom lip before sweeping in for a soft kiss. This kiss should deepen to something more passionate al though you don't need to ram each others tongues down one anothers throats. Mary, I want you to clutch his sghoulder, like you are heaving your breast into him. Alright Chuck now kiss down her neck...SLOWLY! Slooowly, savour each taste of her skin...."

...yeh.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
If you wanna see some awful shit, try japanese live action non-fetish porn. Good god, the squeaking. The squawking.
 
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