[Important] North_Ranger's Wacky Tumor Thread
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
North_Ranger
Staff member
Ooooffff...
Things took a slight turn to the south today. They couldn't put in the stent, as the tumor blocked the ureter too badly. I was knocked out during the procedure, but apparently they stopped trying after half an hour... when the operation usually lasts five minutes.
So, I've now got the next best thing: a catheter into my kidney and out of my side, with a line leading into a handy-dandy half-gallon plastic bag to be filled with pee. I admit, I was pretty broken about it at first, fearing this would pretty much make me unable to go anywhere or even sleep on that side. Luckily, I had one of the friendlier nurses talk me through on how to use and operate the catheter and the bag, and she even gave me a hand in rinsing it with saline solution - something I now have to do 2-3 times a day to keep the line clear.
At least I can now call myself a metrosexual; I've got my very own accessory. Okay, it's plastic and filling with piss, but goddammit, that counts!
Things took a slight turn to the south today. They couldn't put in the stent, as the tumor blocked the ureter too badly. I was knocked out during the procedure, but apparently they stopped trying after half an hour... when the operation usually lasts five minutes.
So, I've now got the next best thing: a catheter into my kidney and out of my side, with a line leading into a handy-dandy half-gallon plastic bag to be filled with pee. I admit, I was pretty broken about it at first, fearing this would pretty much make me unable to go anywhere or even sleep on that side. Luckily, I had one of the friendlier nurses talk me through on how to use and operate the catheter and the bag, and she even gave me a hand in rinsing it with saline solution - something I now have to do 2-3 times a day to keep the line clear.
At least I can now call myself a metrosexual; I've got my very own accessory. Okay, it's plastic and filling with piss, but goddammit, that counts!
It's all about matching, man. Something to match the yellow. I suggest a colostomy bag.
No no no, you're going about this all wrong... you should only need to carry one
You're right on the other accessories, but totally wrong on the colour. Too much yellow before springtime is such a no-no. He needs to mix it up with some blue and red or something.
I've got it. An IV drip with a green candy-cane stripe design along the pole. The stripes will be very slimming.
I've got it. An IV drip with a green candy-cane stripe design along the pole. The stripes will be very slimming.
Goddamn, man! Nurses panties will drop so hard, there'll be a hole in the floor!
North_Ranger
Staff member
Back from the hospital today...
Destroyed a plateful of homemade meatballs and three big sandwiches, drinking a lot and enjoying comfortable clothing.
Feeling... relatively good. Hell, pretty good, actually.
There's gonna be some changes, though... Because of my kidney status, they had to modify my treatment plan to one that was less harsh on that remaining organ. It's not the same as the one they considered most effective, but there's been good results with that, too. Plus, the treatment is going to be done with shorter infusions, meaning I'll be going in the morning and getting out the same evening. Which is good because the hospital stays tend to be either painful or boring as hell. The bad side is that I won't always have the same doctor overlooking my progress, but in this day and age everything's available on the computer. First round of chemo with the new program will be on Friday.
Also, trying to get used to the piss bag by my side. It's okay, for the most part. Just gotta need to figure something out for two rooms: In the kitchen everything is just a tad too far from each other, so I have to hook up the bag to different places depending on where I am (the fridge, the cutting board, the stove...). In the living room I still need to figure out where to hang it if I wish to lay down on the couch. Dad suggested looking into smaller, less noticeable bags that strap onto your thigh. I dunno, I still have to get over the yuckiness of having a bag of piss strapped to the side of my leg. Might be good, though, in the sense that it would free my hands.
There's some problems, though... Mostly related to loss of independence. They put the line just a little too back, meaning that it's almost impossible for me to reach the valve to rinse the drain - a process I need to do three times a day. Luckily, mom has offered a helping hand, promising to come over and do the rinsing. Same goes with showering; the place where the line punctures the skin needs to be kept clean and sterile, and that necessitates a kind of wrap on it - one that I cannot place myself because of where it is. So once again I need to rely on someone else to do that for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop showering... it will just be damn acrobatic now if I need to do it when there's no one around to place the wrap.
It's not much, but it is still a little jarring, being dependent on someone else on a daily basis...
Destroyed a plateful of homemade meatballs and three big sandwiches, drinking a lot and enjoying comfortable clothing.
Feeling... relatively good. Hell, pretty good, actually.
There's gonna be some changes, though... Because of my kidney status, they had to modify my treatment plan to one that was less harsh on that remaining organ. It's not the same as the one they considered most effective, but there's been good results with that, too. Plus, the treatment is going to be done with shorter infusions, meaning I'll be going in the morning and getting out the same evening. Which is good because the hospital stays tend to be either painful or boring as hell. The bad side is that I won't always have the same doctor overlooking my progress, but in this day and age everything's available on the computer. First round of chemo with the new program will be on Friday.
Also, trying to get used to the piss bag by my side. It's okay, for the most part. Just gotta need to figure something out for two rooms: In the kitchen everything is just a tad too far from each other, so I have to hook up the bag to different places depending on where I am (the fridge, the cutting board, the stove...). In the living room I still need to figure out where to hang it if I wish to lay down on the couch. Dad suggested looking into smaller, less noticeable bags that strap onto your thigh. I dunno, I still have to get over the yuckiness of having a bag of piss strapped to the side of my leg. Might be good, though, in the sense that it would free my hands.
There's some problems, though... Mostly related to loss of independence. They put the line just a little too back, meaning that it's almost impossible for me to reach the valve to rinse the drain - a process I need to do three times a day. Luckily, mom has offered a helping hand, promising to come over and do the rinsing. Same goes with showering; the place where the line punctures the skin needs to be kept clean and sterile, and that necessitates a kind of wrap on it - one that I cannot place myself because of where it is. So once again I need to rely on someone else to do that for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop showering... it will just be damn acrobatic now if I need to do it when there's no one around to place the wrap.
It's not much, but it is still a little jarring, being dependent on someone else on a daily basis...
doomdragon6
Staff member
You've been dealing with this a long time, man, but it sounds like things are at least progressing!
North_Ranger
Staff member
Still among the living. Decided to start something of an Anti-Bucket List; things to keep me going, to look forward to. Seeing how I am currently tied to a piss bag with the need to get it rinsed three times a day and bandages changed twice a week, I'm somewhat restricted in things I can do with any kind of reason. The trip to New York, for instance, is pretty much not viable as long as I have this kidney drain. Well, not before I get a proper handle of it anyway.
But here's the List, going to keep updating it every now on then:
The Anti-Bucket List:
1. The Hobbit premiere
2. Season 2 of Game of Thrones
3. Using the upcoming Mayan apocalypse as a pick-up line.
4. Seeing my niece graduate.
5. Getting to Year 15 as a Medieval Market performer (currently going at Year 13)
6. Starting, reading and finishing The Song of Ice and Fire - first five books purchased, will get to them eventually.
7.Getting comfortable enough with my drain to properly start archery. - Started yesterday 
8.Hitting a bullseye. - By a blind stoke of luck, admittedly.
9. Finishing the current Changeling: The Lost campaign with my friends.
10. Preparing a Pathfinder campaign.
11. Finding players for said campaign.
12. Ropecon in July.
13. Finishing the collection of Jeeves stories by Wodehouse that I've bought.
14. Attending the Medieval Market as a performer. - Looking good, the only things that can put a stop to this is either getting sick and having to be at the hospital, or the doc deciding to change my chemo treatment so that I have to spend more than a few hours at a time at the ward. Here's hoping...
15. Avatar: The Legend of Korra - watching it, purchasing the DVD.
16. Replenishing my movie collection. Lost a lot of good films when the digibox crapped out on me last month.
17. Visiting the States, preferably New York.
18. Re-visiting London, now as an adult.
19. Finding a good Japanese restaurant within driving distance. - Gah, such a pain in the ass, this one...
20. Failing #19, learning how to cook some decent Chicken Teriyaki.
21. Re-visiting Ireland, including the school where I spent two semesters as an exchange student.
22. Spending as much time outdoors as possible during the summer.
23. Meeting Gordon Ramsay.
24. Reading to the end of the Order of the Stick. I remember Rich Burlew saying he's past the half-way mark in his saga...
25. Getting the Order of the Stick completely in book form.
26.
But here's the List, going to keep updating it every now on then:
The Anti-Bucket List:
1. The Hobbit premiere
2. Season 2 of Game of Thrones
3. Using the upcoming Mayan apocalypse as a pick-up line.
4. Seeing my niece graduate.
5. Getting to Year 15 as a Medieval Market performer (currently going at Year 13)
6. Starting, reading and finishing The Song of Ice and Fire - first five books purchased, will get to them eventually.
7.
8.
9. Finishing the current Changeling: The Lost campaign with my friends.
10. Preparing a Pathfinder campaign.
11. Finding players for said campaign.
12. Ropecon in July.
13. Finishing the collection of Jeeves stories by Wodehouse that I've bought.
14. Attending the Medieval Market as a performer. - Looking good, the only things that can put a stop to this is either getting sick and having to be at the hospital, or the doc deciding to change my chemo treatment so that I have to spend more than a few hours at a time at the ward. Here's hoping...
15. Avatar: The Legend of Korra - watching it, purchasing the DVD.
16. Replenishing my movie collection. Lost a lot of good films when the digibox crapped out on me last month.
17. Visiting the States, preferably New York.
18. Re-visiting London, now as an adult.
19. Finding a good Japanese restaurant within driving distance. - Gah, such a pain in the ass, this one...
20. Failing #19, learning how to cook some decent Chicken Teriyaki.
21. Re-visiting Ireland, including the school where I spent two semesters as an exchange student.
22. Spending as much time outdoors as possible during the summer.
23. Meeting Gordon Ramsay.
24. Reading to the end of the Order of the Stick. I remember Rich Burlew saying he's past the half-way mark in his saga...
25. Getting the Order of the Stick completely in book form.
26.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Nah, I just accidentally pressed Enter before I could fill the list
North_Ranger
Staff member
One time, I depressed a friend by mentioning that one of the reasons I wanted a girlfriend was so I could have somebody to drive me home after getting a medical procedure that required sedation.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Goddammit I hate this week...
I haven't posted much on this thread in recent weeks mostly because the news have been mostly bad - and quite frankly, the recent churnings and moaning and the general asshattery and dickery on the forum (whether real or perceived) kinda made me not want to pour my heart out to people. But now... well, the cup floweth over.
The drain has been acting up for the past three weeks. Essentially it has been almost clogged up with certain solid elements (grains, dust, specks, whatever you wish to call them) in my urine so it just doesn't work as well it should. When it worked properly, it would drain out at least a half a gallon a day. Now I'm surprised if I get a tenth of that. They're supposed to change the drain, but the "urgent, must be done within two weeks" request for that minor surgical operation has not even been answered yet - and the two weeks comes up the day after tomorrow. God, I fucking love red tape...
Not only that, but because the drain is essentially a foreign element in my system, it's also highly susceptible for infection. I already got it once as a mild case, but this Monday I ran a full-on, 103.5 degree fever and have been in the hospital since. I'm frustrated and pissed off and angry as hell, having to spend so much time in the hospital. Especially since I had to forget celebrating Eve of May (basically Finnish Mardi Gras) and Medieval Market rehearsals. Hospital food and sharing the room with a constantly vomiting old man aren't helping my mood none...
*sigh* The good news is that the fever's down, but they're still keeping me in here until my CRP drops to a more tolerable level. "Optimistically", as the doc said, that would be Friday. But after three days in here - sweating due to medication, cajoling an uncooperative nurse to rinse the drain because it fucking hurts if it doesn't work, having to deal with Mom being worried as hell... Yeah, I am soooooo looking forward to spending more time in here.
And no, the drain can't be fixed until the infection fully passes.
That is all.
I haven't posted much on this thread in recent weeks mostly because the news have been mostly bad - and quite frankly, the recent churnings and moaning and the general asshattery and dickery on the forum (whether real or perceived) kinda made me not want to pour my heart out to people. But now... well, the cup floweth over.
The drain has been acting up for the past three weeks. Essentially it has been almost clogged up with certain solid elements (grains, dust, specks, whatever you wish to call them) in my urine so it just doesn't work as well it should. When it worked properly, it would drain out at least a half a gallon a day. Now I'm surprised if I get a tenth of that. They're supposed to change the drain, but the "urgent, must be done within two weeks" request for that minor surgical operation has not even been answered yet - and the two weeks comes up the day after tomorrow. God, I fucking love red tape...
Not only that, but because the drain is essentially a foreign element in my system, it's also highly susceptible for infection. I already got it once as a mild case, but this Monday I ran a full-on, 103.5 degree fever and have been in the hospital since. I'm frustrated and pissed off and angry as hell, having to spend so much time in the hospital. Especially since I had to forget celebrating Eve of May (basically Finnish Mardi Gras) and Medieval Market rehearsals. Hospital food and sharing the room with a constantly vomiting old man aren't helping my mood none...
*sigh* The good news is that the fever's down, but they're still keeping me in here until my CRP drops to a more tolerable level. "Optimistically", as the doc said, that would be Friday. But after three days in here - sweating due to medication, cajoling an uncooperative nurse to rinse the drain because it fucking hurts if it doesn't work, having to deal with Mom being worried as hell... Yeah, I am soooooo looking forward to spending more time in here.
And no, the drain can't be fixed until the infection fully passes.
That is all.
doomdragon6
Staff member
You're ten times stronger than I'd ever be if I consumed the hearts of a moose and 6 bears. Keep it up mang.
S
SeraRelm
Yeah, we actually LIKE you.
Indeed. Dude, I think I've dropped my Skype to you before... even if you're bored in the middle of the night, I'll be up to listening to ya vent.
That's my night or yours, whichever way it comes. Trust me on this: I know the power of a good vent.
That's my night or yours, whichever way it comes. Trust me on this: I know the power of a good vent.
S
SeraRelm
Just not on camera.
That costs extra.
North_Ranger
Staff member
It is said that childbirth and being kicked in the balls are the greatest pains known to mankind. Yesterday, I was submitted to another procedure that, in my mind, completes the unholy trinity of OHMYGODTHATHURTSMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOOOOOOPP!!
Spoilered for the sake of sanity - except maybe for Shegokigo , who perhaps would consider this educational material for her future domination of the world:
tl;dr/safe version: painful and humiliating procedure with associated memories. I am getting better now. Guys... Give your schlongs some love. Because when they're in horrid pain... there's absolutely nothing worse.
Spoilered for the sake of sanity - except maybe for Shegokigo , who perhaps would consider this educational material for her future domination of the world:
As mentioned earlier, I've got a kidney drain because the tumor is threatening to block the tract that leads urine from my kidney (the only good one) to my bladder. The drain itself had almost stopped working, and finally they got an operation time for it this morning. Yesterday, however, the tumor apparently started pressing the tract and the bladder so that I was constantly aching and could barely urinate - only a trickle of blood-laced stuff. My kidney values also started spiking, so after talking with the doctor they got a person from the urological ward to come look.
With just the barest howdoyoudo, I was told to lie back - and the damn nurse shoved a catether into my bladder.
As in "took a plastic tube and shoved it up my dick, all the way into the bladder".
This has been done to me once before, and then I had to wear that catether for three whole days - and I was in constant pain. Now the resurgent memory of those days, the feeling of a tube inside my tortured John Thomas and the sheer shock of this having been done to me just like that out of the blue, I probably would have lost it there and then if my Mom hadn't managed to calm me down. She said I looked in so much pain that my head was about to burst. No wonder, considering how fucking humiliating the whole process feels, on top of the pain.
Luckily the pain subsided with time and painkillers, and I managed to get some shut-eye. Today they changed the drain, and once satisfied it was working - meaning it had leaked out about a gallon of fluids in eight hours - they removed the catether. That wasn't as painful as I had remembered, probably because it only stayed there for about 24 hours. But the insertion, and the feeling of helplessness the first time you really need to urinate but can't... the blood that leaks out when you instinctively try to squeeze out that urine you have burning in your bladder... God, the horror...
With just the barest howdoyoudo, I was told to lie back - and the damn nurse shoved a catether into my bladder.
As in "took a plastic tube and shoved it up my dick, all the way into the bladder".
This has been done to me once before, and then I had to wear that catether for three whole days - and I was in constant pain. Now the resurgent memory of those days, the feeling of a tube inside my tortured John Thomas and the sheer shock of this having been done to me just like that out of the blue, I probably would have lost it there and then if my Mom hadn't managed to calm me down. She said I looked in so much pain that my head was about to burst. No wonder, considering how fucking humiliating the whole process feels, on top of the pain.
Luckily the pain subsided with time and painkillers, and I managed to get some shut-eye. Today they changed the drain, and once satisfied it was working - meaning it had leaked out about a gallon of fluids in eight hours - they removed the catether. That wasn't as painful as I had remembered, probably because it only stayed there for about 24 hours. But the insertion, and the feeling of helplessness the first time you really need to urinate but can't... the blood that leaks out when you instinctively try to squeeze out that urine you have burning in your bladder... God, the horror...
tl;dr/safe version: painful and humiliating procedure with associated memories. I am getting better now. Guys... Give your schlongs some love. Because when they're in horrid pain... there's absolutely nothing worse.
Aaaaand... done.
North_Ranger
Staff member
North_Ranger
Staff member
What's worse is when the they put put it in wrong the first time, and the balloon-sponge thing that's suppose to be in your bladder slips out and blocks all fluids. Imagine the worst "Have to go pee" feeling you've ever had, only you can't. And no matter how much you complain about it, the nurses who did the procedure won't believe you and tell you to just relax. It wasn't until the head nurse came in, heard my complaint and realized what had happened, that it was put back in where it was suppose to be. Now imagine the best "I just took the biggest piss" feeling you've ever had. I was ready to marry that 80something-year-old head nurse! 
Hope you feel better soon, man.
North_Ranger
Staff member