The more a cat acts like a dog, the better a cat people say it is.
GasBandit
Ask me about my Reprehensible Filth 43 From Gas' Texan Tile and Pork Sausage Distillery
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My retirement plan is to start walking across streets without looking and hope I get reborn in an Isekai anime, because that apparently happens constantly.
"Does my Thai girlfriend have a penis?" he wondered. Something inside him told him, "yes."
You can say "Have a nice day!" and it's fine, but "Enjoy the next 24 hours" sounds like a threat for some reason.
If I am expected to manage my anger, stupid people should be expected to manage their stupidity.
Reading is staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating.
Sears started out as a mail order catalog that would deliver products right to your door. They were driven to bankruptcy by internet sites that deliver products right to your door.
I'm pretty disappointed that Batman is the rich man beating up criminals and Daredevil is the blind man using echolocation, and not vice versa.
Pity the poor shark, for he shall never experience the crispness of a Pringles potato chip.
There's a point where we need to stop, and we have clearly passed it. But let's keep going, and see what happens.
Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that's what your ghost will wear. Forever.
People with "make tea, not war" bumper stickers are pretty ignorant about the history of tea.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but could this meeting be an email maybe
You ever notice, for special occasions, ladies with curly hair straighten it, and ladies with straight hair curl it?
The best part of the cucumber tastes like the worst part of the watermelon.
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees, sycamore~~~
I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties so I can go home.
[E\\..............F] <- Outta Gas
It takes 45 muscles to frown, but only 10 to smile. So smiling is for the weak and lazy. Frown your way to fitness.
Few things are as gratifying as finally managing to grab that one stray ear hair with tweezers and no mirror.
I don't need discord, I just need an audio file on loop "Hey Gas, I got a question.."
♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫
If you're not in Discord, are you even really a Halforumite?
My AMA disappeared into the mists of time. Maybe for the best
I'd do an AMA, too, but I know it'd just be 30 questions about pork sausage.
I'm playing the game - the one that will take me to my end. I'm waiting for the rain, to wash who I am.
The mark of maturity is enjoying things you hated as a child. For example, spankings and naps.
My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I HATE BABIES
Every day is a struggle against the idea of putting chicken nuggets in the blender and calling it a protein shake. 17 days til solid food.
Well, here goes nothing.
Bricks are domesticated rocks.
When the PC Master Race curses you: "May your ping time match your frames per second."
The boss just banned overly-specific nicknames, and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian the Good Time Ruiner.
Marriage must be especially awful for a bisexual. There's TWICE as many people you can't have sex with!
I donââ¬â¢t always use UTF-8, but when I do, I parse it as ASCII. -
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