BananaHands' Terrifying and Terrific Tinder Thread!
- Thread starter BananaHands
- Start date
Now that's a challenge for Rule 34.
That's ten tons of crazy in a two pound sack.
He might if there's a pretty girl there.TIL bhamv3 is never going to grow taller
The last time I visited Thailand, our hotel had a gym, and so I decided to go down there and check it out, maybe do some light exercises. When I arrived there, I noticed that there was a really hot girl in the middle of her workout. She was dressed in what would best be described as a sports-bra-plus-yoga-pants combo. One of the treadmills was located in a spot that gave the user an unobstructed view of the entire gym, so I got on that treadmill and started running, while watching the girl go through her exercises. I didn't want to set the treadmill to too slow a speed though (she might look my way!), so I ended up running at a pretty significant pace.
Well, the girl took about an hour to finish her workout. That means I ran for an hour on that treadmill. Let me tell you, for a guy who never exercises, running for a full hour is gonna cause some pain. I didn't feel anything while I was running (too busy staring as unobtrusively as I could) but as soon as she left and I turned off the treadmill, I pretty much fell over. Ever completely lose control of your legs? Yeah, it was like that.
Fortunately, Thailand is also the land of massages, so later I hired some nice ladies to beat some feeling back into my legs.
Particularly the third one.
The rest of the paragraph, for those interested:
From Herein Lies the Promise of J. F. Swanton on SomethingAwful.
1) She sounds like she prefers it vanilla.
2) Now I want to see the father.
3) The continuing adventures of Florida Man.
4) She means she has a great pairsonality.
5) Lazybutt.
6) Amazing what medical technology can do these days.
7) Ask her to bring Vixen.
8) Better not forget to bring bananas.
9) 19? Sure thing, officer.
10) "...but not for long."
11) Please make a list of all your freshmen partners.
12) Your "boyfriend," eh? Is there something you're not telling us?
13) She does, and it is. Ask her to wear it for you.
14) Back again so soon, officer?
15) Looking for stable relationship, no horse face.
16) Or keep your bird in your hand, whatever.
17) She started much too late.
18) Ask her to wear it for you, too.
19) That's why I'm wearing long sleeves.
20) She looks forward to slitting open your lid and pulling out what's inside.
--Patrick
2) Now I want to see the father.
3) The continuing adventures of Florida Man.
4) She means she has a great pairsonality.
5) Lazybutt.
6) Amazing what medical technology can do these days.
7) Ask her to bring Vixen.
8) Better not forget to bring bananas.
9) 19? Sure thing, officer.
10) "...but not for long."
11) Please make a list of all your freshmen partners.
12) Your "boyfriend," eh? Is there something you're not telling us?
13) She does, and it is. Ask her to wear it for you.
14) Back again so soon, officer?
15) Looking for stable relationship, no horse face.
16) Or keep your bird in your hand, whatever.
17) She started much too late.
18) Ask her to wear it for you, too.
19) That's why I'm wearing long sleeves.
20) She looks forward to slitting open your lid and pulling out what's inside.
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
I agree. Those are not the crow's feet and nasolabial folds of a 24 year old. Twice that, maybe.
I was thinking the same think. You'd think when people make the fake accounts they'd at least pay attention to the photo. It's not like they're aiming to be complementary in the first place.