Did...did you just shoot NR in the junk...with an arrow?!
Can I has bawww thread now?
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Did...did you just shoot NR in the junk...with an arrow?!
C
Chazwozel
Chazwozel does not approve of a 'get Juski laid' thread.
Bad dogs!
Bad dogs!
There's a lot of wisdom in this thread. It's a cliche, but people change SO drastically from their teens to their 20s and from 20-25, at least in my experience/opinion. At 20, you have your entire dating life ahead of you. It's obvious that you're a pretty girl, so you should have a few options for your next relationship, whenever that might happen. You should never settle for something that's 95% good. Nothing will ever be 100% good because even the best relationships have hiccups, but I could never imagine accepting a relationship where either I or the other person involved said ANYTHING like what he said in a public place. In private and joking around? Very different. In public? Very much a lack of respect that, as has been wisely pointed out, will only devolve, especially if he's 24. It'd take something incredibly serious to change him now...and he knows you'll take it, so what motivates him to change?
It sounds like you made a quick decision in your text to say you can't do this anymore. While a break up via text (if I understood correctly) isn't the best way to go about it, it gets the ball rolling. Do not back down. You HAVE to stand up for yourself and you have the wisdom to recognize what's happening, that you're trying to rationalize it, and that rationalizing is enabling him.
My post is more or less a summation of many points already made. From my own personal relationship experience, the only one that's worked is the only one where there's mutual respect, communication, and compromise. It took a lot of stumbles and falls to get me here, but I couldn't be happier. Sadly, it took me 25 years to find her, but the last 6 years of my life have been an incredible experience.
DO NOT SETTLE because it's great 95% of the time. Let me repeat...DO NOT SETTLE. Follow the path that you started on with your text to him.
And you have a forum full of support. Can't beat that.
It sounds like you made a quick decision in your text to say you can't do this anymore. While a break up via text (if I understood correctly) isn't the best way to go about it, it gets the ball rolling. Do not back down. You HAVE to stand up for yourself and you have the wisdom to recognize what's happening, that you're trying to rationalize it, and that rationalizing is enabling him.
My post is more or less a summation of many points already made. From my own personal relationship experience, the only one that's worked is the only one where there's mutual respect, communication, and compromise. It took a lot of stumbles and falls to get me here, but I couldn't be happier. Sadly, it took me 25 years to find her, but the last 6 years of my life have been an incredible experience.
DO NOT SETTLE because it's great 95% of the time. Let me repeat...DO NOT SETTLE. Follow the path that you started on with your text to him.
And you have a forum full of support. Can't beat that.
H
Heavan
My new advice would be to slow it down and wait a little while for latent feelings to disappear, but then I realized I'm not an authority on the matter.
1. how clear did you make it that you weren't going to continue dating the bf?
2. you are 100% sure about that mutual understanding, right? like, 100 percent sure?
H
Heavan
All of the above plus x) none of the above
I'm a little late to this party but I really really wanted to quote some Dan Savage for you.
"DTMFA"
for all the reasons everyone else already said.
You made the right choice so good on you. Fucked up conception of modern gender roles aside the expressed his problems with you by sulking like a child. Who wants to marry a child.
If i read this thread right you are 20 years old. Nothing wrong with that but most twenty year olds act wild and make interesting life choices. Just like you already did this weekend. Good for you. You are a normal 20 year old. I say take this time to figure yourself out and enjoy yourself while you do.
There's plenty of time to get married.
Getting married is something adults do. No offense to you I don't really know you. An adult is also someone who worries about mortgages, car payments and jobs that matter to their careers. If that stuff appeals to you go be an adult and power to you. If that stuff doesn't appeal to you right now just enjoy your youth and freedom.
Good luck to you in either case.
"DTMFA"
for all the reasons everyone else already said.
You made the right choice so good on you. Fucked up conception of modern gender roles aside the expressed his problems with you by sulking like a child. Who wants to marry a child.
If i read this thread right you are 20 years old. Nothing wrong with that but most twenty year olds act wild and make interesting life choices. Just like you already did this weekend. Good for you. You are a normal 20 year old. I say take this time to figure yourself out and enjoy yourself while you do.
There's plenty of time to get married.
Getting married is something adults do. No offense to you I don't really know you. An adult is also someone who worries about mortgages, car payments and jobs that matter to their careers. If that stuff appeals to you go be an adult and power to you. If that stuff doesn't appeal to you right now just enjoy your youth and freedom.
Good luck to you in either case.
I hear that's how the zombie apocalypse starts...meeting them at 20. I'd head for the hills, bunker up, and pray that you have enough shells.
I
Iaculus
I hear that's how the zombie apocalypse starts...meeting them at 20. I'd head for the hills, bunker up, and pray that you have enough shells.[/QUOTE]
Was that last bit addressed to Shego... or the zombies?
This.
We're here for you, Droll, whenever you need us. In the totally non-creepy way.
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Chazwozel
This.
We're here for you, Droll, whenever you need us. In the totally non-creepy way.[/QUOTE]
Fuck that. I'm totally here to get my creep on.
Cajungal
Staff member
Sounds like you had some fun the other night. You deserve it. You know this guy well; I'm sure you both understand what all that really was. 
Hope that you get some rest!---------- Post added at 12:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:42 PM ----------
Also, Chaz, now I have to go and get pizza today. Mellow Mushroom here I come...
1. how clear did you make it that you weren't going to continue dating the bf?
2. you are 100% sure about that mutual understanding, right? like, 100 percent sure?[/QUOTE]
How clear did I make it to the boyfriend or to my friend? The (ex) boyfriend and I have not had any sort of "break up talk," if that's what you mean.. When we got into a big fight about how he doesn't respect me and I said "I can't do this anymore," I think it was obvious what I meant by that. As far as I'm concerned, we've broken up. If he respected me enough to actually talk to me, I could have said it differently, but he doesn't, so smurf him.
As to the mutual understanding with my friend, yeah. That's part of the reason we didn't actually have sex. Feelings and everything else aside, he lives a state away and just got into pharmacy school. He comes home maybe 2-3 times a year and won't be moving back to Chicago permanently for 3.5 more years. But we agreed a long time ago - like, freshman or sophomore year of high school - that we could never be in a relationship. He's one of my best friends and I love him dearly, but our "types" are too different, and we'd drive each other crazy. We had such a good time last night anyway that I'm not worried about it wrecking or even changing our friendship.
I've never found it creepy
Then again, if I had a penis instead of tits, I'd be one of the creepiest bastards on the forum (Panera, anyone?). But now that I'm single, you all can feel free to hit on me to your hearts' desire without worrying about the off-chance of a heavily-muscled man showing up at your doorstep to beat the crap out of you.This.
We're here for you, Droll, whenever you need us. In the totally non-creepy way.[/QUOTE]
Fuck that. I'm totally here to get my creep on.
I had Chicago-style pizza last night with my out-of-town friends. It was fantastic, and I totally thought about you.
North_Ranger
Staff member
I've never found it creepy
Then again, if I had a penis instead of tits, I'd be one of the creepiest bastards on the forum (Panera, anyone?). But now that I'm single, you all can feel free to hit on me to your hearts' desire without worrying about the off-chance of a heavily-muscled man showing up at your doorstep to beat the crap out of you.[/QUOTE]
Well in that case...
*pulls off his clothes, revealing a Chippendales-style minimal outfit - with suspenders!*
I've never found it creepy
Then again, if I had a penis instead of tits, I'd be one of the creepiest bastards on the forum (Panera, anyone?). But now that I'm single, you all can feel free to hit on me to your hearts' desire without worrying about the off-chance of a heavily-muscled man showing up at your doorstep to beat the crap out of you.[/QUOTE]
Well in that case...
*pulls off his clothes, revealing a Chippendales-style minimal outfit - with suspenders!*
[/QUOTE]With suspenders?! Hot damn!
North_Ranger
Staff member
Wanna twang 'em? 
Well in that case...
*pulls off his clothes, revealing a Chippendales-style minimal outfit - with suspenders!*
I didn't say anything before because my complete lack of relationship experience made me feel like I couldn't say anything you could use. But reading the advice and the real life development of what happenned, I was here in the corner, nodding in silence.
I think you did the right thing, I'm happy that you seem to be doing as fine as somebody can in this situation and I'm sure this experience will ensure just better relationships in the future.
I also didn't say anything because I find it difficult not to do creepy innuendo-jokes and I didn't feel like this was the appropiate thread
I think you did the right thing, I'm happy that you seem to be doing as fine as somebody can in this situation and I'm sure this experience will ensure just better relationships in the future.
I also didn't say anything because I find it difficult not to do creepy innuendo-jokes and I didn't feel like this was the appropiate thread
Curiously my last girlfriend had the same habit as your boyfriend of ignoring me childishly whenever we disagreed. The rest of the situation was not quite the same but it was definitely psychologically painful for me to be in that relationship. It took quite a bit for me to get past the idea that I could or deserved to put up with it for what was good, but ultimately when I ended the relationship, the first thing I felt was relief. I'm not going to say I never miss what was good in the relationship, but I made the right choice for me, and if it's emotionally or psychologically stressful to be with someone, maybe it's time to reconsider that relationship (which it sounds like you have; I'm late to the game here).
Hopefully you're doing well and get by okay and I hope you've got a good support structure around you (friends, family and [strike]as a last resort[/strike], something you should never ever have to resort to (I jest!), the crazies on Halforum) to get by any rough spots.
Hopefully you're doing well and get by okay and I hope you've got a good support structure around you (friends, family and [strike]as a last resort[/strike], something you should never ever have to resort to (I jest!), the crazies on Halforum) to get by any rough spots.
C
Chazwozel
Cajungal
Staff member
Aim for the nipple!Wanna twang 'em?
North_Ranger
Staff member
Oh fork you, guys. Fork you and your suspenderphobia
---------- Post added at 02:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:41 AM ----------
---------- Post added at 02:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:41 AM ----------
... Eep!
ElJuski
Staff member
figmentPez
Staff member
What? No firefighters on that list?Chazwozel said:
*TWANG*Wanna twang 'em?
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop emotionally. I've been keeping myself super busy, but I'm just holding my breath and expecting it to hit me like a ton of bricks at any moment. I mean, I ended a 5-year relationship. I should be devastated, right?
So far, I've been fine, so I guess we'll see. Aside from our fight after we left the restaurant, I haven't shed a tear.
I'm throwing myself into a massive renovation of my bedroom, where I spend most of my time at home; I have so much STUFF that he's given me over the years or that reminds me of him. It's all going in my closet for now, and I'm painting over my lime-green walls. I feel somehow like I need to change the energy of this room.
*TWANG*Wanna twang 'em?
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop emotionally. I've been keeping myself super busy, but I'm just holding my breath and expecting it to hit me like a ton of bricks at any moment. I mean, I ended a 5-year relationship. I should be devastated, right?
So far, I've been fine, so I guess we'll see. Aside from our fight after we left the restaurant, I haven't shed a tear.
I'm throwing myself into a massive renovation of my bedroom, where I spend most of my time at home; I have so much STUFF that he's given me over the years or that reminds me of him. It's all going in my closet for now, and I'm painting over my lime-green walls. I feel somehow like I need to change the energy of this room.[/QUOTE]
I'm still nodding.
*TWANG*Wanna twang 'em?
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop emotionally. I've been keeping myself super busy, but I'm just holding my breath and expecting it to hit me like a ton of bricks at any moment. I mean, I ended a 5-year relationship. I should be devastated, right?
So far, I've been fine, so I guess we'll see. Aside from our fight after we left the restaurant, I haven't shed a tear.
I'm throwing myself into a massive renovation of my bedroom, where I spend most of my time at home; I have so much STUFF that he's given me over the years or that reminds me of him. It's all going in my closet for now, and I'm painting over my lime-green walls. I feel somehow like I need to change the energy of this room.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, usually when I had a break up I had to get rid of music that I couldn't listen to anymore due to it being tainted.
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