Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

Do you sit or stand when you wipe?


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I like how each side generally has no clue the other exists. I know I was confused as FUCK when I saw someone sitting in a movie or TV show while they wiped
 

Dave

Staff member
If you stand your ass cheeks close and you can't get all the yucky stuff out.

You standers are weird and probably have HUGE poop streaks in your underwear.
 
You know what I've never had? Skidmarks. Why is that? Because wiping while sitting doesn't give you God damn skidmarks. Standing....fuuuuck.
 
Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?
Everyone. Those who don't are lying.

Do you sometimes think, "Wow! This has to be some sort of record!" or "Jesus Christ! ALL of that came out of ME?!?"[/QUOTE]

Those usually hurt so bad I don't want to know. I just want to go lay down for a while and forget the whole ordeal.
 
someone wiser than I said:
I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.
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doomdragon6

Staff member
Not much, just that there are a lot of poop-related SP screencaps. :)
If you haven't seen that episode, it looks more like he's sucking Token's ding-a-ling than it does he's pooping from his mouth.

Anyway, I just cannot fathom wiping sitting down. Like, I'm trying to figure out the logistics of it and it just seems like potential for a mess.

Never had any skidmarks/coverage problems with standing.

If I can figure it out I'll give sitting a shot next time.
 
C

Chazwozel

Wipe-Sitter here.

As to telling when you're done? Wtf? Just turn your head and look down. Not that hard. I always thought standers were fat people that can't lift their butt cheek without breaking a sweat.
 
C

Chazwozel

someone wiser than I said:
I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.
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Holy hell? Is everyone taking crazy pills?!??! Although I must admit, I'm one of those people that was taken aback when I found out that in most regions of the world people squat and use their bare hands to wipe their asses.
 
Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.
 
A

Armadillo

This is actually the second forum I'm a regular on to have this exact discussion.

Sitter, because standers' underwear must look like they broadsided a fudge tanker.

...and agreed on the adult wet wipes. They changed my fucking life, man.
 

doomdragon6

Staff member
Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.
While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.
 
This is actually the second forum I'm a regular on to have this exact discussion.

Sitter, because standers' underwear must look like they broadsided a fudge tanker.

...and agreed on the adult wet wipes. They changed my fucking life, man.
High five my clean assholed brotha!

---------- Post added at 10:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 AM ----------

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.
While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/QUOTE]

My Italian friend thinks we're disgusting for not using bidets.

Of course, I think she's disgusting because she rarely showers. Different cultures clean their torpedo tubes differently.
 
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