Funny Pictures Thread. It begins again

What if a sectio was done?

Wasn't done at my birth by the way. My mother let me know all the time.

(Please don't take this serious, regadless how it was done, buy something nice.)
How did my day go, you ask? Just peachy.

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Just so you know, my company makes sugar substitute. We had a piece of equipment plug up and I had to physically unplug it. It's actually way worse than this picture shows. I had sugar in places sugar didn't need to be.
So you’re saying to not do a cosplay of Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me.
If I'm having a tech day that bad, Geek Squad isn't going to be able to help me anyway. They're usually the ones asking me for help. for instance the fact that's an Ethernet cable, not USB.

it was translated or written by someone with terrible English.
Is there some kind of "Zhīngwén" equivalent in Chinese, with collections of English that has been horribly-yet-amusingly translated into Chinese obviously by some single-semester "Don't worry I got this" college student?