I just had sex thread

Terrik · Jun 19, 2015

ThatNickGuy said:
THREE MONTH DRY SPELL IS OVER, BITCHES!

Midnight sex is the best sex.

ThatNickGuy · Jun 19, 2015

Bowielee said:
Wait... I thought you had a girlfriend...

Oh, and also, should have posted this on Wednesday:
View attachment 18551

We broke up for a short while.

But she couldn't help it.

She needed the N.

...wait, I think I screwed that up.

Terrik · Jun 19, 2015

No, No, you're good.

Cheesy1 · Jun 19, 2015

Should we call you "Nick" or "Mr. Dick"?

Ravenpoe · Jun 20, 2015

ThatNickGuy said:
We broke up for a short while.

But she couldn't help it.

She needed the N.

...wait, I think I screwed that up.

The best 30 seconds she's ever had!

Terrik · Jun 20, 2015

Ravenpoe said:
The best 30 seconds she's ever had!

Jun agrees!

...wait.

ThatNickGuy · Jun 20, 2015

Ravenpoe said:
The best 30 seconds she's ever had!

Oi!

...yeah.[DOUBLEPOST=1434798400,1434798368][/DOUBLEPOST]

Terrik said:
Jun agrees!

...wait.

Chad Sexington · Jun 20, 2015

ThatNickGuy said:
THREE MONTH DRY SPELL IS OVER, BITCHES!

Three months? Ha

ha!

HA!

To paraphrase: I can do three months standing on my head

Dave · Jun 20, 2015

Cheesy1 said:
Should we call you "Nick" or "Mr. Dick"?

Is that a footlong?

And then some.

CrimsonSoul · Jun 25, 2015

You know. When trying for a girl there are various methods (shettles) one of the parts is that the girl isn't suppose to orgasm. Now it sucks because I want a girl but nothing makes you prouder than when she says she couldn't help it and came

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Dei · Jun 25, 2015

You mean various things that are not true. Since you know, it's all about your sperm. [emoji14]

CrimsonSoul · Jun 25, 2015

Dei said:
You mean various things that are not true. Since you know, it's all about your sperm. [emoji14]

I was just pointing out that she didn't want to orgasm but I'm just that Damn good.

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Bubble181 · Jun 25, 2015

....wait, you're supposed to not let them come? I've been doing it (just now, as a matter of fact :unibrow:

) all wrong!

CrimsonSoul · Jun 25, 2015

Bubble181 said:
....wait, you're supposed to not let them come? I've been doing it (just now, as a matter of fact ) all wrong!

Well according to the shettles method male spend doesn't love as long but is more active where female spend lives longer but isn't as fast and something about the makeup of the vagina when a woman comes (the juices) is better for male spend than female spend and also that when she orgasms that it helps to scoop the male sperm closer to its goal etc. So yeah. That's what our Google fu came up with

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GasBandit · Jun 25, 2015

CrimsonSoul said:
Well according to the shettles method male spend doesn't love as long but is more active where female spend lives longer but isn't as fast and something about the makeup of the vagina when a woman comes (the juices) is better for male spend than female spend and also that when she orgasms that it helps to scoop the male sperm closer to its goal etc. So yeah. That's what our Google fu came up with

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Chad Sexington · Jun 25, 2015

CrimsonSoul said:
Well according to the shettles method male spend doesn't love as long but is more active where female spend lives longer but isn't as fast and something about the makeup of the vagina when a woman comes (the juices) is better for male spend than female spend and also that when she orgasms that it helps to scoop the male sperm closer to its goal etc. So yeah. That's what our Google fu came up with

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What the fuck? That is patently false.

Frank · Jun 25, 2015

I hear that Coca-Cola is a great spermicide too.

GasBandit · Jun 25, 2015

Frank said:
I hear that Coca-Cola is a great spermicide too.

Diet coke. And Mentos.

Blasts those little guys RIGHT outta there.

Zapkode.marie · Jun 25, 2015

Chad Sexington said:
What the fuck? That is patently false.

Hmm *googles* apparently you're right! (this is Crimson not the wife) yay orgasms for everyone! (now to show her this when she gets in the car)

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Ravenpoe · Jun 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
Diet coke. And Mentos.

Blasts those little guys RIGHT outta there.

If you don't do it through a hole in the sheet, God smites 'em all anyway.

Zapkode.marie · Jun 25, 2015

Lmfao.....

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GasBandit · Jun 25, 2015

CrimsonSoul said:
You know. When trying for a girl there are various methods (shettles) one of the parts is that the girl isn't suppose to orgasm. Now it sucks because I want a girl but nothing makes you prouder than when she says she couldn't help it and came

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Zapkode.marie said:
Lmfao.....

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Wait, wait, wait, didn't you guys already have like a dozen kids including some not even your own? And now you're going for another?? You really ARE intent on dethroning Stienman, aren't you?

Bubble181 · Jun 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
Wait, wait, wait, didn't you guys already have like a dozen kids including some not even your own? And now you're going for another?? You really ARE intent on dethroning Stienman, aren't you?

After the arms race, this is the...errr...other-appendage-race.

Bowielee · Jun 25, 2015

GasBandit said:
Wait, wait, wait, didn't you guys already have like a dozen kids including some not even your own? And now you're going for another?? You really ARE intent on dethroning Stienman, aren't you?

Maybe they could get matching sister-wives?

Tinwhistler · Jun 25, 2015

Went upstairs with the wife..did the wild thing.

Was dozing off into post-coital bliss when I heard a noise outside.

Now I can't sleep

bhamv3 · Jun 26, 2015

Tinwhistler said:
Went upstairs with the wife..did the wild thing.

Was dozing off into post-coital bliss when I heard a noise outside.

Now I can't sleep

Sorry, I tripped over a tree root. I'll be quieter next time, you go back to sleep.

fade · Jun 26, 2015

GasBandit said:
Diet coke. And Mentos.

Blasts those little guys RIGHT outta there.

Aw man, I totally want to try that now.

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

sixpackshaker · Jun 26, 2015

fade said:
Aw man, I totally want to try that now.

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

Awe man, I can just hear it now...

*DOUCHE!!!!!!!!*

Tinwhistler · Jun 26, 2015

bhamv3 said:
Sorry, I tripped over a tree root. I'll be quieter next time, you go back to sleep.

Dude, you don't gotta sneak around.

Unless that's what gets you off

@Li3n · Jun 26, 2015

Dei said:
You mean various things that are not true. Since you know, it's all about your sperm. [emoji14]

But what if you can scare the wrong sperm by shaking just right....

Ravenpoe · Jun 26, 2015

fade said:
Aw man, I totally want to try that now.

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

And she flew across town like a bottle rocket...

Celt Z · Jun 26, 2015

fade said:
HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that....

There would be a lot of nickels, is what I'm saying.

Emrys · Jun 26, 2015

Celt Z said:
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that....

There would be a lot of nickels, is what I'm saying.

Do tell.

Bubble181 · Jun 26, 2015

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

No dear, a purple suit and a green tie is not a good look.

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

No dear, you can't go parasailing with our 2-year-old.

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

No dear, tying a buttered toast to our cat won't bring down the power bill

HONEY!

Come here! I want to try something.

No dear, you can't pull off Gene Simmons make-up.

Celt Z · Jun 26, 2015

And those are just on a good day!