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I just had sex thread

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Feb 8, 2012#1

Mathias

We've got a goddamn thread for everything else; why not this!

oh and...

Feb 8, 2012#2

Hailey Knight

Finally got a babysitter?

Feb 8, 2012#3

Mathias

Quotemander Prime said:
Finally got a babysitter?

The damn kids know that when dad's hat is on the doorknob, stay the f- outta Dodge. For the whole 30 seconds!

Feb 8, 2012#4

Shegokigo

There's so much snark I want to unleash about having to announce when you copulate but it's been months since I got any satisfaction with another live person that I can just sit here and be jealous.

Feb 8, 2012#5

Mathias

Shegokigo said:
There's so much snark I want to unleash about having to announce when you copulate but it's been months since I got any satisfaction with another live person that I can just sit here and be jealous.

I thought it would be a funny thread to have. Plus, I just got some. After like a month long dry spell. Friggin babies.

Feb 8, 2012#6

Jay

AND IT FELT SO GOOD!

All my dreams came true.... about 30 minutes ago.

Feb 8, 2012#7

Mathias

Jay said:
AND IT FELT SO GOOD!

All my dreams came true.... about 30 minutes ago.

Hey, you're still qualified to sing with me!

Feb 8, 2012#8

Jay

Mathias said:
Hey, you're still qualified to sing with me!

A woman let me put my penis inside of her!!!

Feb 8, 2012#9

David

Been three and a half years for me.

Feb 8, 2012#10

Shegokigo

David said:
Been three and a half years for me.

Feb 8, 2012#11

fade

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.
Step 2: Put your dick in the box.

Feb 8, 2012#12

phil

Not sure if this will work right, since I'm on my phone.

Relevant:

Feb 8, 2012#13

SeraRelm

Why do I get the feeling sex with you would go like Clockwork, Shego?

Feb 8, 2012#14

Ravenpoe

SeraRelm said:
Why do I get the feeling sex with you would go like Clockwork, Shego?

Don't you mean CLOCKWORK

Feb 9, 2012#15

ThatNickGuy

6 months since (and counting) for me.

Feb 9, 2012#16

Ravenpoe

Does it have to be with another person to post in this thread? Because if not, I may have news to share!

Feb 9, 2012#17

Silver Jelly

I'll post here even if I'm not getting any...

because I'm a jerk. :csi:

(puns in english aren't my thing...)

Feb 9, 2012#18

Charlie Don't Surf

where's calleja when you need him

Feb 9, 2012#19

Mathias

I'll never go back to the not having sex days of the past.

Feb 9, 2012#20

Jay

Charlie Don't Surf said:
where's calleja when you need him

At Starbucks picking up milfs.

Feb 9, 2012#21

HowDroll

Full time job x 2 + grad school x 2 = not much lovin' for Droll. Who would have thought when you live with your S.O. that you end up having LESS sex?

This thread makes me sad

Feb 9, 2012#22

ScytheRexx

Too bad I missed this thread last night, would have been more relevant. :whistling:

Feb 9, 2012#23

bhamv3

David said:
Been three and a half years for me.

Nine years for me. I'm winning.

Feb 9, 2012#24

SeraRelm

Bhamv3, the Charlie Sheen of Halforums.

Feb 9, 2012#25

Jay

I'm starting to see why this forum is uptight about shit. God daaaaamn.

Feb 9, 2012#26

bhamv3

Feb 9, 2012#27

LittleSin

I have wanted sex for three weeks but constant illness amongst the family has prevented it.

Tonight will be the night. I swear it.

Feb 9, 2012#28

Charlie Don't Surf

I like how this thread is everyone whining about not having sex

Feb 9, 2012#29

LittleSin

Not for long.

Feb 9, 2012#30

Shegokigo

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I like how this thread is everyone whining about not having sex

I half believe this thread was created to get you to post in it.

Feb 9, 2012#31

HowDroll

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I like how this thread is everyone whining about not having sex

And you expected... what, exactly?

Feb 9, 2012#32

Adammon

Shegokigo said:
I half believe this thread was created to get you to post in it.

Maybe he's posting ironically?

Feb 9, 2012#33

Jay

HowDroll said:
And you expected... what, exactly?

You know... I expected you to post in this thread within 24 hours of its creation... but not to reply to the local hipster.

Haven't you gotten Wabbajacked yet? I thought you'd get a REAL good Wabbajacking by now.

Feb 9, 2012#34

HowDroll

Jay said:
You know... I expected you to post in this thread within 24 hours of its creation... but not to reply to the local hipster.

Haven't you gotten Wabbajacked yet? I thought you'd get a REAL good Wabbajacking by now.

That was my second post. See above.

And please; I don't get Wabbajacked. Ever.

Feb 9, 2012#35

Charlie Don't Surf

I still don't get why everyone here calls me a hipster, I'm a pretty boring dresser

Feb 9, 2012#36

SeraRelm

Because you do it ironically.

Feb 9, 2012#37

Shegokigo

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I still don't get why everyone here calls me a hipster, I'm a pretty boring dresser

You posted that ironically right?

Feb 9, 2012#38

LittleSin

I would like to see a thread full of sexual techniques/secrets, personally but I have a feeling NO one would post in that.

And Dave would get mad.

Feb 9, 2012#39

LittleSin

I have burning questions, though!

Like, "how CAN you tie someone up when you have no bed frame?" Or "Is it weird when the cat watches?" Or "5 minutes or less: can it be done to boths satisfaction?"

See?!

Feb 9, 2012#40

LittleSin

Ame is a goddess.

Feb 9, 2012#41

Jay

LittleSin said:
"5 minutes or less: can it be done to boths satisfaction?"

http://fiveminutestoorgasmeverytimeyoumakelovefemaleorgasmmadesimple.com/

Feb 9, 2012#42

ScytheRexx

LittleSin said:
"5 minutes or less: can it be done to boths satisfaction?"

Can't speak for everyone, but with me that would be a "Yes."

As for the other two, those are also "Yes", but I ain't giving away my tie-up secrets.

Feb 9, 2012#43

makare

LittleSin said:
I would like to see a thread full of sexual techniques/secrets, personally but I have a feeling NO one would post in that.

And Dave would get mad.

I was going to make a porn gif thread in the nsfw forum but decided not to because they were so much more... um let's say porny than the stuff people usually post. Usually that just being topless chicks. I am not sure what the standard for nsfw is around here. Is it porn or is it only the stuff you'd see in a mechanics shop?

Feb 9, 2012#44

LittleSin

That's actually a very good question. I remember there used to be a hentai thread a while back....

Feb 9, 2012#45

makare

The gifs were mostly just amusing not necessarily titillating lol.

Feb 9, 2012#46

Jay

I propose a NSFW "Late Nights at Halforums" Forum.

And most porn is about as useless as it comes... Jenna Jameson changed it all after she got popular moaning like a fake cow "OH YEAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAHH WAAAAAAAH".

Feb 9, 2012#47

LittleSin

You have any idea how hard it is to find good porn of a guy going down on a girl?

NIGH IMPOSSIBLE.

Feb 9, 2012#48

makare

yeah i find most porn is boring. Sure sex is fun to do but watching people just have sex is well boring to me.

Feb 9, 2012#49

LittleSin

Sexclubs exists outside of TV crime dramas?

Feb 9, 2012#50

makare

hehe well i like to watch just not.. just that. lol Gotta be something worth watching

Feb 9, 2012#51

ScytheRexx

LittleSin said:
You have any idea how hard it is to find good porn of a guy going down on a girl?

The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.

As for weird porn, I was desensitized a long time ago by Japan, and am only more desensitized by what you can find in the darkest areas of the Internet.

Feb 9, 2012#52

makare

ScytheRexx said:
The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.

As for weird porn, I was desensitized a long time ago by Japan, and am only more desensitized by what you can find in the darkest areas of the Internet.

ScytheRexx has seen the internet's taint....

Feb 9, 2012#53

ScytheRexx

makare said:
ScytheRexx has seen the internet's taint....

I have, and it was glorious and horrible at the same time.

"rolls up into a ball and cries"

Feb 9, 2012#54

Jay

Amorous Eyes said:
I can't help but laugh when "porn" to most people simply means guy+girl fucking. Boring.

Correction then. Most porn that doesn't give me nightmares at night?

I still say a NSFW forum "Late Night at HF" is a great idea.

Feb 9, 2012#55

Jay

ScytheRexx said:
The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.

Agreed.

And why you'll rarely see in big productions where they would go from one position to the next. They usually take a break, wipe the sweat off themselves, use fluffers like ThatNickGuy to keep the engine running, before cutting to the next awkward position for the sake of the show. The whole fakeness of it turns me off.

I grew to enjoy the more European porn, especially the French/Italian kind because it feels more genuine. The North American porn feel like the McDonalds of porn. And I guess I'll never be ready for the Japanese porn... when grown women sound like anime and every flabby Asian guy looks like pedobear, it's hard to keep your stiff going.

Nothing beats pure amateur porn, sure they tend to film it with Potato Cam 1700 and will rarely have great HD feeds but at least no one is moaning OH YEAH every godamned thrust with the most terrible and repeated voice acting, playing cock golf while removing their dick from the woman's vag.... proceed to move as far back as possible.... then go for the hole in one.... repeatedly.... and most importantly.... I don't have to see 60 year old Randy what's his face in yet another terrible american porn flic.

Feb 9, 2012#56

Calleja

Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u

Feb 9, 2012#57

Adammon

Calleja said:
Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u

So, is this less braggy or more lovey? Colour Adam confused.

Feb 9, 2012#58

ElJuski

dear god why does this thread exist

Feb 9, 2012#59

Mathias

Calleja said:
Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u

Feb 9, 2012#60

Ravenpoe

I think this thread will slowly devolve into "I've seen some shit" horror stories of the internet.

Or at least that's my hope. But the stuff I could post might be against board rules. Let's just say, if you make an artificial orifice in the body, regardless if medical reason, someone will put a penis in it.

Sweet dreams.

Feb 9, 2012#61

Jay

Feb 9, 2012#62

Hailey Knight

I used to have sex, like you.

Then I took an arrow to the...

Feb 9, 2012#63

ElJuski

Quotemander Prime said:
I used to have sex, like you.

Then I took an arrow to the...

Jake Barnes?

Feb 9, 2012#64

Mathias

Jay said:

it made a nice man out the meanest!

Feb 9, 2012#65

SeraRelm

I'd be glad to share some bondage secrets, but my hands are tied.

Feb 9, 2012#66

PatrThom

phil said:
Relevant:

Heh. I love that video.

Amorous Eyes said:
Dunno. Porn does jack all for me. About 0.1% is actually any good. Besides, a lot of the stuff I'm into most people here probably aren't.

I sympathize utterly and completely.

--Patrick

Feb 10, 2012#67

phil

I'm hearing a lot of "I'm into some weird porn" talk with a lack of bite to back up the bark.

You know what this means, right?

A porn off.

Feb 10, 2012#68

PatrThom

I'm not into weird porn. I'm just into incredibly specialized, uncommon porn.
If my porn were an OS, it'd be BeOS.
If it were a mushroom, it would be a Black Morel.
If it were a kid's show, it would be hosted by Weird Al.
If it were a beer, it would be a regional microbrew.
If it were a disease, it would be argyria.

And no, this doesn't mean I long to see the Blue Man Group smash some PowerPCs during a Weird Al show while I dine on beer&mushroom bread. Though that would certainly be entertaining.

--Patrick

Feb 10, 2012#69

phil

But....but the porn off....

Feb 10, 2012#70

PatrThom

Sorry, Phil. Porn is for before* sex, and this is the thread for after sex.
You want a different thread.

--Patrick
*or instead of

Feb 10, 2012#71

Shakey

PatrThom said:
If my porn were an OS, it'd be BeOS.

You sick fuck...

Feb 10, 2012#72

PatrThom

Shakey said:
You sick fuck...

Don't knock symmetric multiprocessing until you've tried it. Just remember to properly retire all of your instructions so your stack doesn't overflow before you've finished.

--Patrick

Feb 10, 2012#73

Shakey

PatrThom said:
Don't knock symmetric multiprocessing until you've tried it. Just remember to properly retire all of your instructions so your stack doesn't overflow before you've finished.

--Patrick

I'm so hard right now.
Added at: 01:55
Oh, and since this is a sex thread, I won't be having it until Saturday. Long distance relationships suck. Once a week loving is not nearly enough.

Feb 10, 2012#74

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
Don't knock symmetric multiprocessing until you've tried it. Just remember to properly retire all of your instructions so your stack doesn't overflow before you've finished.

--Patrick

Did anyone else just mount their hard disk?

Feb 10, 2012#75

Frankie Williamson

Is anyone qualified to sing with me?

Feb 10, 2012#76

PatrThom

Frankie Williamson said:
Is anyone qualified to sing with me?

--Patrick

Feb 10, 2012#77

Charlie Don't Surf

Also my favorite part of Lonely Island is when people completely don't get the joke of the song, like ITT

Feb 10, 2012#78

North_Ranger

Shegokigo said:
There's so much snark I want to unleash about having to announce when you copulate but it's been months since I got any satisfaction with another live person that I can just sit here and be jealous.

Months? You lucky bastard...
Added at: 18:22

bhamv3 said:
Nine years for me. I'm winning.

Goddammit, bhamv3... You even got me beat.

Feb 10, 2012#79

Shegokigo

North_Ranger said:
Months? You lucky bastard...
Added at: 18:22

Going from 3-4 times a week for almost 8 years straight to this sudden drought is pretty rough. Harder than not having it for a long time, then having it then not having it again.

Feb 10, 2012#80

Adammon

Every two days for 4 months straight while we were trying for babies. Even if you didn't want to.

Feb 10, 2012#81

North_Ranger

Shegokigo said:
Going from 3-4 times a week for almost 8 years straight to this sudden drought is pretty rough. Harder than not having it for a long time, then having it then not having it again.

Trust me, I know whatcha mean. I used to have a girlfriend who was horny just about 24/7, to the point where we would spend my weekend leaves from the service just screwing like rabbits. It's been a long, long drought after that.

Plus, with my current medical condition, I'm even more reduced. Radiotherapy and chemo have been doing a number on my... ahem... liquid waste disposal. And since that's located right next to the amusement park, that's not open for business much either. And porn... well, mostly it just doesn't do jack shit for me. Too fake, I guess.

Feb 10, 2012#82

ScytheRexx

Weird thing, even though I am a sex fiend, my wife and I don't really have sex all the time. We have a lot of stuff going on in our lives and she works long hours, so we mostly have sex over the weekend. I respect her need to rest more then my need to hump.

As for porn, people around here probably already know my outlook on that by this point.

Feb 10, 2012#83

fade

WoW characters?

Feb 10, 2012#84

Ravenpoe

fade said:
WoW characters?

Who wouldn't want to wrestle a tauren woman?

Feb 10, 2012#85

Mathias

Charlie Don't Surf said:
Also my favorite part of Lonely Island is when people completely don't get the joke of the song, like ITT

Hmm, I perfectly understand the joke, Mr. Pretentious. Hence why this thread exists at all!

Feb 10, 2012#86

Charlie Don't Surf

The song is about how immature it is to brag about having sex. And you're bragging about having sex.

Feb 10, 2012#87

MindDetective

Yeah...he's perpetuating the joke intentionally.

Mathias said:
We've got a goddamn thread for everything else; why not this!

Feb 10, 2012#88

ScytheRexx

Ravenpoe said:
Who wouldn't want to wrestle a tauren woman?

Have you ever wrestled a tauren woman? Nothing is worst then getting a warstomp on your junk.

Really though, never screw a druid though, nothing is worst then getting it on only to suddenly find a bear mounting you. It's even worst if they are a resto druid, it would take months to get all the splinters out.

Feb 10, 2012#89

Hailey Knight

Charlie Don't Surf said:
The song is about how immature it is to brag about having sex. And you're bragging about having sex.

He's doing it ironically.

Feb 10, 2012#90

Made Ya Blush

This song brings back memories...

Feb 10, 2012#91

Officer_Charon

Made Ya Blush said:
This song brings back memories...

A woman let you put you penis inside of her?

Feb 10, 2012#92

Espy

Well this thread just got interesting. Scientifically speaking.

Feb 10, 2012#93

Mathias

Charlie Don't Surf said:
The song is about how immature it is to brag about having sex. And you're bragging about having sex.

Guess who just got some?!?!??!

Added at: 19:43

Officer_Charon said:
A woman let you put you penis inside of her?

Yeah, she dated Nick... BAZINGA!

Feb 10, 2012#94

ElJuski

not sure if people get the joke when most of the thread is still people typing out word for word how many times a week it is they have sex
Added at: 04:13
not sure if people get the joke when most of the thread is still people typing out word for word how many times a week it is they have sex

Feb 10, 2012#95

HCGLNS

ElJuski said:
not sure if people get the joke when most of the thread is still people typing out word for word how many times a week it is they have sex

Hey ElJuski,

:unibrow:

Feb 11, 2012#96

ElJuski

Feb 11, 2012#97

Espy

Juski banged Cyndi Lauper?

Dang dude. DANG.

Feb 11, 2012#98

SeraRelm

Does getting fucked over by work count? Cuz damn, I get it all the time if so.

Feb 11, 2012#99

General Specific

bhamv3 said:
Nine years for me. I'm winning.

I've avoided posting in this thread because, damnit, I'M WINNING.

It has been about 11 years for me.

Feb 11, 2012#100

checkeredhat

Just shy of five years for me.

Feb 11, 2012#101

ElJuski

dear god fellas

Feb 11, 2012#102

ScytheRexx

This thread is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. :confused:

Feb 11, 2012#103

PatrThom

ScytheRexx said:
This thread is starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. That can happen if it goes on for too long without any definite conclusion.

--Patrick

Feb 11, 2012#104

Officer_Charon

It's called "edging."

Feb 11, 2012#105

LittleSin

I was foiled by mother nature.

Feb 11, 2012#106

Ravenpoe

If you persist in this thread for more than four hours, please consult a doctor.

Feb 11, 2012#107

Mathias

LittleSin said:
I was foiled by mother nature.

Get it on, and then print this out and pin it on your husband for a day.

Feb 11, 2012#108

LittleSin

Ahaha!

Feb 11, 2012#109

PatrThom

I find it amusing you suggested this to the forumite who uses a cephalopod as her avatar.

--Patrick

Feb 11, 2012#110

LittleSin

This would be more tempting if I didn't have white sheets.

Feb 11, 2012#111

SeraRelm

What?

I don't get it.

Feb 12, 2012#112

Tress

Possible NSFW

Feb 12, 2012#113

ElJuski

crikey fellas

Feb 12, 2012#114

David

Feb 17, 2012#115

Jay

Feb 17, 2012#116

Charlie Don't Surf

yup this thread is ironic

Feb 17, 2012#117

ThatNickGuy

Fun fact: I did not just have sex.

Feb 17, 2012#118

Mathias

Charlie Don't Surf said:
yup this thread is ironic

Most vocal against this thread is also the one getting the least nookie. Yup that's just funny.

Feb 17, 2012#119

Jay

For Nick's eyes only :

Hope this makes you not think of hot quickie with a hot lady as she comes home from work wearing that dress and shoes I like so much on her. Mmmmmm

Feb 17, 2012#120

Charlie Don't Surf

You guys don't know about when or where or how I have sex since I'm not that fucking tacky to post it on an internet forum

Feb 17, 2012#121

Ravenpoe

*enters "I just had sex" thread*

*finds people saying they had sex*

*APPAULED!*

*MONOCLE IN THE TEA!*

*MORAL OUTRAGE!*

*TOTALLY BETTER THAN THAT!*

Feb 17, 2012#122

ThatNickGuy

Charlie Don't Surf said:
You guys don't know about when or where or how I have sex since I'm not that fucking tacky to post it on an internet forum

I'm a regularly depressed, anti-social stick in the mud and even I'M telling you to pull out whatever that is stuck in your craw.

Feb 17, 2012#123

Hailey Knight

Charlie Don't Surf said:
You guys don't know about when or where or how I have sex since I'm not that fucking tacky to post it on an internet forum

We can't know things that don't exist.

Except Star Wars.

Feb 17, 2012#124

Ravenpoe

Quotemander Prime said:
We can't know things that don't exist.

Except Star Wars.

Let's not resort to "You ain't gettin' any." Charlie could have a regular, healthy sex life, and still be a killjoy.

Feb 17, 2012#125

ThatNickGuy

If he were such a killjoy, my deductive reasoning would say he would need to be one HELL of a submissive in the relationship.

Feb 17, 2012#126

HCGLNS

Are you all actually arguing to hear about Charlies sex life? I for one am happy in my ignorance of his Troy McClure proclivities.

Feb 17, 2012#127

fade

For the people who discuss their sex life on internet forums! We shall not sit idly by while they are called such stereotypical epithets as "tacky"! We must organize a demonstration for those who wish to brag about sex on the web! Down with whitey!

Feb 17, 2012#128

LittleSin

Is bragging about sex to you sister okay? How about you (step)mum? Your friends?

No?

....I'm going to hell.

Feb 17, 2012#129

Chippy

Feb 18, 2012#130

Jay

Feb 18, 2012#131

Mathias

Added at: 07:37

Ravenpoe said:
Let's not resort to "You ain't gettin' any." Charlie could have a regular, healthy sex life, and still be a killjoy.

I don't buy it.

Feb 18, 2012#132

fade

Mathias said:
Added at: 07:37

Adult Swim Bump said:
Do American adult cartoons always have the funny? Of course not. Look at Drawn Together.

Feb 18, 2012#133

Charlie Don't Surf

I have in my hand signed affidavits of several lucky ladies who will offer sworn testimony on their joining me in sexual congress

Feb 18, 2012#134

Mathias

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I have in my hand signed affidavits of several lucky ladies who will offer sworn testimony on their joining me in sexual congress

No you don't. I can totally tell you're a friend zone, pine pony rider all the way.

Feb 18, 2012#135

Jay

Feb 18, 2012#136

Adammon

Mathias said:
Added at: 07:37

I don't buy it.

He probably should.

Feb 18, 2012#137

Charlie Don't Surf

I for one am shocked this thread has turned into trying to make someone feel shitty because they think they aren't getting laid

Feb 18, 2012#138

Adammon

As opposed to you making them feel bad because they are?

Feb 18, 2012#139

Shegokigo

Adammon said:
As opposed to you making them feel bad because they are?

(If I weren't so lazy right now I'd have shopped Ada's head on there)

Feb 18, 2012#140

Charlie Don't Surf

I'm not shaming someone for having sex. Sex rules. It's fun. Just the immature "look at me, look I had sex!!!" makes you look like a 14 year old.

Feb 18, 2012#141

LittleSin

People like to talk about sex. It's one of the best parts of life so why not share it? Revel in it? No one here has been very disrespectful in their proclamations.

It's just a bit of fun.

Feb 18, 2012#142

Shegokigo

Feb 18, 2012#143

Espy

Sheg, I don't know how thats relevant to the thread but thats the most awesome and horrifying gif I've ever seen.

Feb 18, 2012#144

Shegokigo

It was 100% meant to be such.

Feb 18, 2012#145

Espy

This thread is now about hover cats. The most terrifying of cats.

Feb 18, 2012#146

HCGLNS

It looks like a euphoric pussy sailing up to the boudoir to me.

Feb 18, 2012#147

Shegokigo

Espy said:
This thread is now about hover cats. The most terrifying of cats.

Feb 18, 2012#148

fade

Lootenet Dayun ain't got no laigs!

Feb 18, 2012#149

Espy

RUN!

Feb 18, 2012#150

Hylian

Feb 18, 2012#151

HCGLNS

Feb 18, 2012#152

General Specific

Hover cats?

Feb 18, 2012#153

SeraRelm

This thread needs more pus-.. oh

Carry on.

Feb 18, 2012#154

Jay

Feb 19, 2012#155

Hylian

Feb 19, 2012#156

Bowielee

Shegokigo said:

This needs the Vader March played over it.

Feb 19, 2012#157

checkeredhat

I honestly don't see a problem with you guys celebrating it. Why wouldn't you celebrate it?

Feb 19, 2012#158

Espy

checkeredhat said:
I honestly don't see a problem with you guys celebrating it. Why wouldn't you celebrate it?

Hover cats? Probably because they are evil and bent on cute hovering world domination?

Feb 19, 2012#159

checkeredhat

Espy said:
Hover cats? Probably because they are evil and bent on cute hovering world domination?

I was referring to charlie's attitude regarding this whole thread.
I would not celebrate hover cats. Cats are beings made of pure spite, and giving them hover powers could lead to no good.

Feb 19, 2012#160

Shegokigo

Who has anything against us celebrating hover cats? :confused:

Feb 19, 2012#161

Espy

No one should celebrate the hovering bringers of doom.

Feb 19, 2012#162

Jay

CATS EVERYWHERE

WE HAVE TO TAKE THEM DOWN... TAKE THEM ALL DOWN

Feb 19, 2012#163

General Specific

Feb 19, 2012#164

Jay

Feb 19, 2012#165

Hylian

Feb 20, 2012#166

Krisken

I do not have a cat .gif to add. That is all.

Feb 20, 2012#167

Shegokigo

It's ok.... we're already inside you....

Feb 20, 2012#168

Bowielee

Shegokigo said:
It's ok.... we're already inside you....

Gif bin doesn't like it.

Feb 20, 2012#169

SeraRelm

Feb 20, 2012#170

Jay

All your food r belong to us.

Feb 20, 2012#171

ThatNickGuy

Shegokigo said:
It's ok.... we're already inside you....

What's Britney Spears doing with a cat in her mouth?

Feb 20, 2012#172

Shegokigo

ThatNickGuy said:
What's Britney Spears doing with a cat in her mouth?

That's just too easy.

Feb 20, 2012#173

ThatNickGuy

Also, it sort of reminds me of this:

Been looking for an excuse to post this.

Feb 20, 2012#174

SeraRelm

Feb 20, 2012#175

Jay

Feb 20, 2012#176

Ravenpoe

SeraRelm said:

... It... it's blinking at me...

I'm scared.

Feb 20, 2012#177

fade

Ravenpoe said:
... It... it's blinking at me...

I'm scared.

Feb 20, 2012#178

Calleja

whoa that last post just popped up there as I read what the fuck [6]

Feb 21, 2012#179

Frankie Williamson

Jay said:

Feb 21, 2012#180

Adammon

Jay said:

Feb 21, 2012#181

SeraRelm

WoooOOOOOoooo!!

Feb 25, 2012#182

Mathias

Feb 25, 2012#183

Jay

Me too! Morning boners rock!

Feb 25, 2012#184

Gusto

and it fellllllt so gooood

Feb 25, 2012#185

SeraRelm

SeraRelm said:
WoooOOOOOoooo!!

busted wrist = doted on.

Mar 30, 2012#186

SeraRelm

Mar 31, 2012#187

Jay

Woke up this morning and...

Mar 31, 2012#188

Mathias

I tried last night but got denied.

Mar 31, 2012#189

Hailey Knight

Mathias said:
I tried last night but got denied.

Charlie says this is how it should be.

Jun 24, 2012#190

General Specific

General Specific said:
I've avoided posting in this thread because, damnit, I'M WINNING.

It has been about 11 years for me.

UPDATE!

It's been about 5 hours as of this posting.

Jun 24, 2012#191

LittleSin

So..was it as good as you remembered?

Jun 24, 2012#192

Jay

Congrats.

It sometimes rains in the Shara desert as well.

Jun 24, 2012#193

Cajungal

Riiiight after my bachelorette party... which is good, cuz I had to spend the weekend surrounded by penis-shaped gag gifts.

Jun 24, 2012#194

Bowielee

Cajungal said:
Riiiight after my bachelorette party... which is good, cuz I had to spend the weekend surrounded by penis-shaped gag gifts.

There are no words to describe how much I hated Bachelorette parties when I DJ'd at a Karoke bar.

Jun 24, 2012#195

ThatNickGuy

Cajungal said:
Riiiight after my bachelorette party... which is good, cuz I had to spend the weekend surrounded by penis-shaped gag gifts.

Feeling a little teste, were we?

Jun 24, 2012#196

Bowielee

ThatNickGuy said:
Feeling a little teste, were we?

Jun 24, 2012#197

Cajungal

Bowielee said:
There are no words to describe how much I hated Bachelorette parties when I DJ'd at a Karoke bar.

I hate them too. That's why I had my fun in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I get irresponsibly drunk and sing Jon Cleary at the top of my lungs while brandishing a dildo, and no one gets annoyed.

Jun 24, 2012#198

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Penis-shaped? Gag gifts? Oh my...

Jun 24, 2012#199

fade

[iseewhatyoudidtherefry.jpg]

Jun 24, 2012#200

Cajungal

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Penis-shaped? Gag gifts? Oh my...

HAH!

Jun 24, 2012#201

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Say no more, my Cajun friend. Say no more :awesome:

Jun 24, 2012#202

phil

Bowielee said:
There are no words to describe how much I hated Bachelorette parties when I DJ'd at a Karoke bar.

You say that as if you stopped being a DJ at a kareoke bar. Which is weird because that sounds awesome and I don't know why someone would not do that.

Jun 24, 2012#203

Cajungal

I think Dana Gould summed up how annoying bachelorette parties can be in his comedy special---while he says this he's mowing over cheers from women in the audience.

"Any bachelorette parties here? NO? Great."

So simple. So funny.

Jun 24, 2012#204

Shegokigo

Absolutely find Dana Gould freakin hilarious.

Jun 25, 2012#205

makare

The one bachelorette party I went to was also penis themed. Going so far as to have a 6 foot blow up penis. Somewhere there are pictures of one of the girls at the party humping the giant dong. Not me, mind you. Though the pictures of me from that party are no less humiliating. Stupid party. They didn't even stay married.

Jun 25, 2012#206

WasabiPoptart

Bowielee said:
There are no words to describe how much I hated Bachelorette parties when I DJ'd at a Karoke bar.

I loved bachelorette parties when I was working at the casino. It was hilarious mostly. One bride-to-be I remember in particular kept singing Kid Rock's Cowboy and pretending to ride her chair like a slow mechanical bull. It was a sight to behold. But things like that kept me awake on the midnight shift.

Jun 25, 2012#207

Bowielee

phil said:
You say that as if you stopped being a DJ at a kareoke bar. Which is weird because that sounds awesome and I don't know why someone would not do that.

It was fun and all, but I had to start taking my life a bit more seriously, getting a career and all that.

Jun 25, 2012#208

Frank

makare said:
The one bachelorette party I went to was also penis themed. Going so far as to have a 6 foot blow up penis. Somewhere there are pictures of one of the girls at the party humping the giant dong. Not me, mind you. Though the pictures of me from that party are no less humiliating. Stupid party. They didn't even stay married.

The nerve, after you went to the party and everything.

Jun 27, 2012#209

Jay

Awww yeah.

Jun 27, 2012#210

Piotyr

The term "bump" takes on new meaning in this thread.

Jun 27, 2012#211

Bubble181

*hump*

amidoinitrite?

Jun 27, 2012#212

ScytheRexx

Yes it does.

:megusta:

Jun 27, 2012#213

Bubble181

Oh, be glad the button's named "brofist" and not "fistbump"

Jun 27, 2012#214

Jay

Piotyr said:
The term "bump" takes on new meaning in this thread.

Stanley_nod_Discrimination_of_Men-s275x155-95928-410.gif

Jun 27, 2012#215

Jay

Jun 27, 2012#216

Terrik

I had sex. But it was early morning sex, so I couldn't go back to sleep. So I woke up and then went to work. Now it's raining.

I'm tired.

:okay:

Jun 28, 2012#217

North_Ranger

Soooooooo... Terrik , you're complaining about getting to start your day with sex?

Bitch, I oughta slap you so hard your head will spin

Jun 28, 2012#218

Frank

I hate morning sex. I know a lot of people swear by it, but I'm an absolute night owl. I don't like even being awake before noon.

Jun 28, 2012#219

WasabiPoptart

Now that I'm a parent I don't like morning sex either. I have learned to savor every precious drop of sleep that I can.

Jun 28, 2012#220

Piotyr

Now that I'm a parent I don't refuse morning sex either. I have learned to savor every precious drop of sex that I can.

Jun 28, 2012#221

Cajungal

Morning sex is good, but what's better is eaaaaarly morning sex, around 3-4 am. You wake up all sleepy/excited, do your thing, and then go back to sleep happy and relaxed. Ahhh... that is one of life's great moments.

Jun 28, 2012#222

Hailey Knight

She likes the night, I like the morning, so the best we can do to compromise is afternoon.

Jun 28, 2012#223

Adam

Cajungal said:
Morning sex is good, but what's better is eaaaaarly morning sex, around 3-4 am. You wake up all sleepy/excited, do your thing, and then go back to sleep happy and relaxed. Ahhh... that is one of life's great moments.

Except I have to work at 7 so there's no opportunity to go back to sleep happy and relaxed

Jun 28, 2012#224

LittleSin

I may decide to delete this later because I'm afraid of people being judgemental towards me buuuuut...

Having sex while totally high is a bizarre, almost spiritual experience. The room moves and you are neither in or out of your body. Everything is different. Touches that were hot but kind of mundane become something worth examining in greater, drawn out detail. You don't think to much, either, so things come more...naturally. No self consciousness about making a strange noise or fumbling in some manner.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain.

Jun 28, 2012#225

Cajungal

Adam said:
Except I have to work at 7 so there's no opportunity to go back to sleep happy and relaxed

WE WILL SLEEP WHEN WE ARE DEAD!

Jun 28, 2012#226

Terrik

Cajungal said:
WE WILL SLEEP WHEN WE ARE DEAD!

But I don't WANT death by Snoo Snoo

Jun 28, 2012#227

Cajungal

Terrik said:
But I don't WANT death by Snoo Snoo

Oh sure... drift off peacefully in your sleep like a weenie.

Jun 28, 2012#228

General Specific

Terrik said:
But I don't WANT death by Snoo Snoo

Jun 29, 2012#229

North_Ranger

Terrik said:
But I don't WANT death by Snoo Snoo

I'll take his!

Jun 29, 2012#230

Cajungal

North_Ranger said:
I'll take his!

You shall be snoo snoo'd by the petite women. Then the large women. Then the most beautiful women. Then the large women. Then the petite women...

Jun 29, 2012#231

makare

From now on I am going to imagine everything CG writes in the voice of Bea Arthur.

Jun 29, 2012#232

Chippy

Jun 30, 2012#233

Shegokigo

I think Chippy just had sex.

Jun 30, 2012#234

David

And he wouldn't even snuggle afterward

Is it because I'm unattractive?

Jun 30, 2012#235

Bubble181

David said:
And he wouldn't even snuggle afterward

Is it because I'm unattractive?

Real men (tm) fall asleep after sex. Cuddling is for wimps, women and losers. Are you saying you thought Chippy was a wilmp, a woman or a loser? Tsss.

cuddling is fun

Jun 30, 2012#236

Terrik

Bubble181 said:
Real men (tm) fall asleep after sex. Cuddling is for wimps, women and losers. Are you saying you thought Chippy was a wilmp, a woman or a loser? Tsss.

cuddling is fun

Ah, indeed it is. The true value of cuddling is the comfort it brings and the promise of better returns in the future.

Jul 7, 2012#237

Dream Goddess

Quotemander Prime said:
She likes the night, I like the morning, so the best we can do to compromise is afternoon.

*compromises a fist in your face* Why must you talk about my hatred of the sun like that with the internet horde? They don't need to know!

*goes back to quietly planning her hostile takeover of Skyrim as a vampire lord...and subsequently cutting 'sex with husband' out of the itinerary*

Jul 7, 2012#238

Terrik

Welp.

Jul 7, 2012#239

Tress

Dream Goddess said:
*compromises a fist in your face* Why must you talk about my hatred of the sun like that with the internet horde? They don't need to know!

*goes back to quietly planning her hostile takeover of Skyrim as a vampire lord...and subsequently cutting 'sex with husband' out of the itinerary*

Ouch.

Let's all have a moment of silence for Quotemander's sex life.

Jul 7, 2012#240

Gusto

Jul 7, 2012#241

Terrik

Perhaps he'd be interested in donating all relevant organs for science!

Jul 7, 2012#242

Hailey Knight

What am I gonna do with all this extra time on my hands?

Jul 7, 2012#243

Terrik

Quotemander Prime said:
What am I gonna do with all this extra time on my hands?

Become a monk?

Write a treatise on the benefits of abstinence?

Start streaming porn, and never, ever stop?

Jul 7, 2012#244

Bubble181

Quotemander Prime said:
What am I gonna do with all this extra time on my hands?

Find the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

Become the first man alive to really understand a woman's emotions.

Learn to play the Octaventral Heebyphone.

Write down all the names of God.

Just throwin' out some pop references

Jul 7, 2012#245

WasabiPoptart

Quotemander Prime said:
What am I gonna do with all this extra time on my hands?

That's not time on your hands. *gives him a Wet-Nap towelette*

Jul 7, 2012#246

Dream Goddess

Bubble181 said:
Learn to play the Octaventral Heebyphone.

Octaventral Heebiephone

Jul 7, 2012#247

ThatNickGuy

I just had safe sex.

...

I wore a glove.

Jul 9, 2012#248

TheFellow

WasabiPoptart said:
That's not time on your hands. *gives him a Wet-Nap towelette*

Ah warm sticky, sticky time.

Jul 9, 2012#249

Cajungal

I love that that's your first post in... what... a year? You goober.

Jul 9, 2012#250

makare

ThatNickGuy said:
I just had safe sex.

...

I wore a glove.

I was at bath and body the other day and the cashier said they were launching their new sent next week. I swear she said the sent was Love Glove Love. My mom says it was like much love something. I hope so because wtf kind of sent would Love Glove Love even be...

Jul 9, 2012#251

Adam

makare said:
I was at bath and body the other day and the cashier said they were launching their new sent next week. I swear she said the sent was Love Glove Love. My mom says it was like much love something. I hope so because wtf kind of sent would Love Glove Love even be...

It's Love Love Love. Although now I'm also curious about Love Glove Love.

http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=13140275&cp=12586965

Jul 9, 2012#252

makare

See? Don't say Love Love Love to a person with a dirty mind. It just won't work out right for anyone.

Jul 9, 2012#253

sixpackshaker

Adam said:
... I'm also curious about Love Glove Love.

Don't worry, when you turn 40 you get it every year, whether you want it or not.

Jul 9, 2012#254

PatrThom

Adam said:
It's Love Love Love. Although now I'm also curious about Love Glove Love.

It's all you need, man.

--Patrick

Jul 12, 2012#255

SpecialKO

Jul 12, 2012#256

sixpackshaker

Arizona Wildcats?

Jul 12, 2012#257

drifter

Arizona State, not Arizona, idn't it?

Jul 12, 2012#258

blotsfan

No Arizona State are the Sun Devils.

Jul 12, 2012#259

sixpackshaker

OK, I remembered it wrong it is for the sundevils pitchfork...

Jul 12, 2012#260

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Thread title

Jul 13, 2012#261

North_Ranger

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Thread title

"Son, you are no longer a boy. Today, you are a man. Bumble the Man Wonder!"

Jul 13, 2012#262

Bumble the Boy Wonder

North_Ranger said:
"Son, you are no longer a boy. Today, you are a man. Bumble the Man Wonder!"

What happens if I thread titled twice in one day? Do I become a Super Man Wonder??

Jul 13, 2012#263

sixpackshaker

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
What happens if I thread titled twice in one day? Do I become a Super Man Wonder??

In her eyes...

Jul 13, 2012#264

SeraRelm

The light appears...

Jul 13, 2012#265

Terrik

I had birthday sex.

And then I got a wallet for a gift!

...but there was no money in it. :okay:

Jul 13, 2012#266

Terrik

mr_thehun said:
If she gave you a wallet full of money after having sex, would that make you a duck?

Good point.

Jul 13, 2012#267

Terrik

mr_thehun said:
happy birthday. I will not have sex with yo, that should be present enough

This thread is the best place to be wished a happy birthday.

Jul 13, 2012#268

PatrThom

mr_thehun said:
If she gave you a wallet full of money after having sex, would that make you a duck?

--Patrick

Jul 14, 2012#269

Future Bumble

Don't worry, Past Bumble, tonight is gonna be awesome. Trust me.

Jul 14, 2012#270

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Wut.

Jul 14, 2012#271

Jay

Jul 15, 2012#272

North_Ranger

Jay... did you just come because of Future Bumble ?

Jul 15, 2012#273

Jay

Jul 15, 2012#274

filmfanatic

Future Bumble said:
Don't worry, Past Bumble, tonight is gonna be awesome. Trust me.

Jul 15, 2012#275

Bumble the Boy Wonder

OMG, GUYS. HE WAS RIGHT

Jul 15, 2012#276

filmfanatic

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
OMG, GUYS. HE WAS RIGHT

Jul 20, 2012#277

PatrThom

Yes, but did he remember to wear the bulletproof vest?

--Patrick

Jul 20, 2012#278

ThatNickGuy

He wasn't ready for it yet.

But his kids are gonna love it.

Jul 26, 2012#279

WasabiPoptart

Jul 26, 2012#280

Gusto

This guy.

Jul 26, 2012#281

Bubble181

WasabiPoptart said:

So, the back trouble wasn't all that disabling, I take it. :unibrow:

Jul 26, 2012#282

Bumble the Boy Wonder

I actually hear it can be quite good for back pains. Whether there is any truth to that, well perhaps only one of us here knows now.

Jul 26, 2012#283

sixpackshaker

Somethings are more important than a back-spasm.

Jul 26, 2012#284

WasabiPoptart

Bubble181 said:
So, the back trouble wasn't all that disabling, I take it.

sixpackshaker said:
Somethings are more important than a back-spasm.

That about sums it up. He's a real trooper. While I have also heard sex can be good for lumbar problems, he has no feeling in his right leg because of his sciatic nerve so that kind of ... impedes certain things.

Jul 26, 2012#285

sixpackshaker

I for one am glad to hear that your husband is back... or you'd have some explaining to do.

Jul 26, 2012#286

WasabiPoptart

sixpackshaker said:
I for one am glad to hear that your husband is back... or you'd have some explaining to do.

My imaginary boyfriend, Juan Carlos Esteban, doesn't make me want to post in here. He's good, but not that good.

Jul 26, 2012#287

sixpackshaker

Jul 27, 2012#288

Bubble181

Just a question: do we need to double-post, or will one post with two pictures do? :hump:

Jul 29, 2012#289

jwhouk

Nothing to see here, move along.

Jul 30, 2012#290

Frank

I haven't been near a vagina in months.

..woops, wrong thread.

Jul 30, 2012#291

Bubble181

Frank said:
I haven't been near a vagina in months.

..woops, wrong thread.

Depends. I don't think Green Lantern or Bowielee spend all that much time 'round vaginas, either, but they can still post here

Jul 30, 2012#292

Frank

Well, I don't share their proclivities. Though, I'm sure if I did the result would be much the same, lack of being near the genitalia of the gender I am sexually attracted to.

Jul 30, 2012#293

Bubble181

Frank said:
Well, I don't share their proclivities. Though, I'm sure if I did the result would be much the same, lack of being near the genitalia of the gender I am sexually attracted to.

I guess I could state it's possible to have sex without being near genitalia; it's also possuible to have sex without being near the gender you are attracted to...But let's not. Have a hug!

Jul 30, 2012#294

dill616

This is a couple of hours late, but...

Jul 30, 2012#295

Gusto

dill616 said:
This is a couple of hours late, but...

*implications of sexytimes*

Don't tell Genspec!

Jul 30, 2012#296

dill616

Gusto said:
Don't tell Genspec!

Don't tell him what?! Who said that?! Which sexytimes?! Where was I?! Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?!? :Leyla:

Oh, you were making a reference to my mentioning of the sexytimes that occurred WITH Genspec. I got cha. I see what you did there. Tricky tricky tricky. You were trying to confuse me.

Meanwhile- Look! It's a bunny!

Jul 30, 2012#297

North_Ranger

Okay, so we have pictures of kids and animals in the "I Just Had Sex" thread.

And it only took nine pages...

Jul 30, 2012#298

Bumble the Boy Wonder

What a good weekend.

Jul 30, 2012#299

dill616

I just had sex (again)! And it felt so good (once more)! :hump:

Jul 30, 2012#300

General Specific

You too?

Jul 30, 2012#301

dill616

General Specific said:
You too?

In one word:

:csi:

Jul 30, 2012#302

General Specific

Jul 30, 2012#303

dill616

General Specific said:

I don't know about you, but it was more like :hump:

for me.

Jul 30, 2012#304

General Specific

Jul 30, 2012#305

Bumble the Boy Wonder

It's only a matter of time before we start getting reenactments on here from you two

Jul 30, 2012#306

Cajungal

Jul 31, 2012#307

General Specific

No, next time we will have live updates

Jul 31, 2012#308

North_Ranger

Do proceed.

*finds good seats and settles down*

Popcorn, anyone?

Jul 31, 2012#309

Gusto

I'm picturing them "finishing" and then getting up and running to their computers on opposite sides of the house to make the same post.

Jul 31, 2012#310

Bumble the Boy Wonder

I'm picturing them stepping out from behind a tastefully placed curtain, and giving a thumbs-up to the live stream.

Jul 31, 2012#311

Bubble181

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
I'm picturing them stepping out from behind a tastefully placed curtain, and giving a thumbs-up to the live stream.

You're not paying for the premium feed?

Jul 31, 2012#312

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Bubble181 said:
You're not paying for the premium feed?

That must be the camera on the other side of the tastefully placed curtain..

Jul 31, 2012#313

dill616

Gusto said:
I'm picturing them "finishing" and then getting up and running to their computers on opposite sides of the house to make the same post.

If we did that every time we had relations, this thread would be MUCH longer than 10 pages. Also, I make damn sure that Gen Spec isn't doing any running around after I'm done with him.

Don't be jealous, lads! I'm just doin' my job.

Jul 31, 2012#314

dill616

General Specific said:
No, next time we will have live updates

NAKED LIGHT SABER FIGHT!

Just sayin' :rolleyes:

Jul 31, 2012#315

BananaHands

Get a room.

Jul 31, 2012#316

General Specific

We have a room

Jul 31, 2012#317

BananaHands

Get a webcam.

Jul 31, 2012#318

General Specific

I have a webcam

Jul 31, 2012#319

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Then why the hell is this still a discussion

Jul 31, 2012#320

dill616

*looks around*

Is someone trying to ogle my naughty bits on a webcam? I want to pay off my student loans, but not THAT badly. I am a lady, sir!

Jul 31, 2012#321

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Also, Bananananahands, lets RP on WoW so we can post in this thread together.

Jul 31, 2012#322

BananaHands

Jul 31, 2012#323

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Jul 31, 2012#324

Gusto

I'm trying my best to not make a Futurama reference that people who don't get would report me for or call for my resignation as moderator.

Cool people know which one I mean.

Jul 31, 2012#325

General Specific

Aug 1, 2012#326

dill616

Gusto said:
I'm trying my best to not make a Futurama reference that people who don't get would report me for or call for my resignation as moderator.

Cool people know which one I mean.

Those references are a regular occurrence in the Specific household. I often feel General will one day succumb to death by Snu-Snu.

Aug 1, 2012#327

Bubble181

I sort of imagine it more like

, really, but that might be me

Aug 1, 2012#328

Gusto

BananaHands said:
Get a room.

General Specific said:
We have a room

Well then lose some weight!

Aug 1, 2012#329

Cajungal

Gusto said:
Well then lose some weight!

Heeheeheeeee

Aug 1, 2012#330

dill616

Gusto said:
Well then lose some weight!

I thought I detected the scent of cigars, liquor, and motor oil wafting in from the bedroom window.

┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

I'm on to you, Mr. Rodríguez.

Aug 1, 2012#331

Cajungal

I love the new girl. Many hugs for you.

Aug 2, 2012#332

dill616

One final story; last night, I came back into the bedroom and announced, "I just sexed you and this is crazy, but here's some milk and chocolate cake, baby." Standing completely naked in the doorway, I held two glasses of skim milk and a chocolate creme bunt cake, which we nommed on while watching a new Futurama. This is just how we do.

Aug 2, 2012#333

North_Ranger

dill616 said:
One final story; last night, I came back into the bedroom and announced, "I just sexed you and this is crazy, but here's some milk and chocolate cake, baby." Standing completely naked in the doorway, I held two glasses of skim milk and a chocolate creme bunt cake, which we nommed on while watching a new Futurama. This is just how we do.

...

I'll be in my bunk.

Aug 2, 2012#334

dill616

North_Ranger said:
...

I'll be in my bunk.

Did I break the North Ranger? :confused:

Aug 2, 2012#335

drifter

HE'S GONNA GO JERK OFF

Aug 2, 2012#336

Gusto

Erraday I'm snugglin'.

Aug 2, 2012#337

dill616

drifter said:
HE'S GONNA GO JERK OFF

Ooooohhhhhh....I get it now.

Aug 2, 2012#338

Officer_Charon

Got sent to work with a big ol' smile on my face today.

Aug 2, 2012#339

LittleSin

....

Did you do it with the uniform on?

Aug 2, 2012#340

HCGLNS

Sex leads to children.
Stop having sex.

Aug 2, 2012#341

Officer_Charon

LittleSin said:
....

Did you do it with the uniform on?

Not thiiiiiis time

Aug 2, 2012#342

Jay

.... the ladies love the uniform.

Mine set me back $49.95

Aug 2, 2012#343

Bumble the Boy Wonder

LittleSin said:
....

Did you do it with the uniform on?

Go get the bunk ready

Aug 2, 2012#344

Officer_Charon

Already did. :unibrow:

Aug 2, 2012#345

General Specific

dill616 said:
One final story; last night, I came back into the bedroom and announced, "I just sexed you and this is crazy, but here's some milk and chocolate cake, baby." Standing completely naked in the doorway, I held two glasses of skim milk and a chocolate creme bunt cake, which we nommed on while watching a new Futurama. This is just how we do.

Mah girl!

Aug 3, 2012#346

jwhouk

Nothing to see here. Move along, now.

Aug 3, 2012#347

Frank

Jay said:
.... the ladies love the uniform.

Mine set me back $49.95

The hat is the important part.

Aug 3, 2012#348

dill616

General Specific said:
Mah girl!

Wait until you see what sort of trysts I have planned for this weekend. First, I'm going to meet you in the hallway with a light saber completely- Hey! Wait! This isn't a PM! My bad. I'm such a silly goose sometimes. :rolleyes:

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Aug 3, 2012#349

Bubble181

dill616 said:
Wait until you see what sort of trysts I have planned for this weekend. First, I'm going to meet you in the hallway with a light saber completely- Hey! Wait! This isn't a PM! My bad. I'm such a silly goose sometimes. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Y'know, there's these things called "blogs" on this forum. You can write in them all you want, and it's ab-so-lutely private; no-one can see it. If you want to use those as your journal, by all means, feel free. :whistling:

Aug 3, 2012#350

Bumble the Boy Wonder

What's happening with the lightsaber? WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE LIGHTSABER?!

Aug 3, 2012#351

General Specific

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
What's happening with the lightsaber? WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE LIGHTSABER?!

Well, first she takes out hers and ignites it. Then mine comes out and I ignite it. Then we have a duel with no double entendres at all. The end.

Aug 3, 2012#352

dill616

General Specific said:
Well, first she takes out hers and ignites it. Then mine comes out and I ignite it. Then we have a duel with no double entendres at all. The end.

.....

If that's really what you want. :okay:

Can I use the blue one?

Aug 3, 2012#353

Bubble181

dill616 said:
.....

If that's really what you want.

Can I use the blue one?

So he gets the double-ended one, huh?

Aug 3, 2012#354

Jay

At the last few posts.

Aug 3, 2012#355

PatrThom

General Specific said:
Well, first she takes out hers and ignites it. Then mine comes out and I ignite it. Then we have a duel with no double entendres at all. The end.

I suddenly want to post a certain action-packed, effects-filled video.

...but I can't, because YouTube pulled it after a copyright claim from UMG.

--Patrick

Aug 3, 2012#356

Terrik

I have sex on a regular basis when my girlfriend comes over. It is both exciting and satisfying. You may pretend this post is repeated at various intervals with various levels of discription.

Aug 4, 2012#357

Officer_Charon

... Somehow, it feels lacking without the THX special effects...

Aug 4, 2012#358

LittleSin

OW! My eye!

Mother fucker!

tee hee hee

Aug 4, 2012#359

WasabiPoptart

Frosty Susan?

Aug 4, 2012#360

Bubble181

WasabiPoptart said:
Frosty Susan?

That, or a dumb blonde boyfriend who can't tell one hole from another :thumbsdown:

Aug 5, 2012#361

Frank

It's 4 am and I have a boner.

To pornography!

Aug 5, 2012#362

Tress

Frank said:
It's 4 am and I have a boner.

To pornography!

Hmmm, I'm not sure that follows the original spirit of this thread. But hey, more power to ya.

Aug 5, 2012#363

Frank

Oh it doesn't. At all. I don't care. Also, I just let my boner fade. So, I not only failed at sex, but also masturbation.

Oct 31, 2012#364

Bowielee

What has two thumbs and is finally able to legitimately post in this thread?

THIS GUY!

Happy Halloween indeed!

Oct 31, 2012#365

Gilgamesh

Very very nice Bowielee! Was it a Halloween party hookup?

Oct 31, 2012#366

Bowielee

No, actually, an old "buddy" was in town for the holiday and looked me up. I was fully expecting to just watch some horror movies, eat some peanutbutter cups and go to bed.

It was quite the pleasant surprise.

Oct 31, 2012#367

Tress

Oct 31, 2012#368

Jay

Last 5 days, 80% ratio.

Nov 1, 2012#369

Frank

Bowielee said:
What has two thumbs and is finally able to legitimately post in this thread?

View attachment 8737
THIS GUY!

Happy Halloween indeed!

Well, considering how long you said that dry spell was, that is deserving of a high five, in words instead of brofist icons. Maybe, in addition to. Yeah, in addition to.

5 out of 5 Geoff Keighley heads filled with Mountain Dew.

[DOUBLEPOST=1351749077][/DOUBLEPOST]

Jay said:
Last 5 days, 80% ratio.

View attachment 8738

For failing once, you only get 4 out of 5 Geoff Keighley heads filled with Mountain Dew.

Nov 1, 2012#370

Jay

5 out of 6!

woot

Jun 14, 2013#371

bhamv3

I got married so I'm finally allowed to post here now.

Jun 14, 2013#372

blotsfan

But you never will

Aug 10, 2013#373

Adam

*cough *

Aug 10, 2013#374

Gilgamesh

Adam said:
*cough *

She wanted the D the whole time.

Aug 10, 2013#375

Adam

She got it plus interest. Wow.

Aug 10, 2013#376

Hailey Knight

I don't usually get invested in people's sex lives, but I was hoping you'd be the one boosting this thread.

Aug 10, 2013#377

David

Adam said:
*cough *

I like the juxtaposition of this with your current avatar.

Aug 16, 2013#378

Cog

Hi everyone!

Aug 17, 2013#379

Adam

A +1 with a caveat that I cannot get off to save my life right now. Really frustrating, it's like a year without sex or really any kind of intimacy has me shutdown. Not sure how to deal with that. :/

Sep 26, 2013#380

Anonymous

Only the mods know I'm bragging right here, right now.

Sep 26, 2013#381

Cajungal

You lucky dog... or bitch... depending on the gender, which I am not divulging.

Sep 26, 2013#382

sixpackshaker

Anonymous sex is the best kind.

"Well, good morning. What's your name again?"

Sep 26, 2013#383

Bowielee

sixpackshaker said:
Anonymous sex is the best kind.

"Well, good morning. What's your name again?"

I got enough of that in my early 20s. Now I'd prefer to have a name attached to the sex I'm having.

Sep 26, 2013#384

Gusto

The irony of bragging in a thread about having sex, but doing so anonymously, is entertaining to me.

Sep 26, 2013#385

Anonymous

Anonymous said:
Only the mods know I'm bragging right here, right now.

And now I'm pregnant and it's yours.

Sep 26, 2013#386

sixpackshaker

Gusto said:
The irony of bragging in a thread about having sex, but doing so anonymously, is entertaining to me.

OMG! it is two people on this board, and the braggart does not want the other to find out....

Sep 26, 2013#387

@Li3n

sixpackshaker said:
OMG! it is two people on this board, and the braggart does not want the other to find out....

Charlie and Gas finally did it... but which one of them is bragging about it?

Sep 26, 2013#388

Gilgamesh

@Li3n said:
Charlie and Gas finally did it... but which one of them is bragging about it?

Son of a .....

Sep 26, 2013#389

ThatNickGuy

Guys! Hey! Hey guys! Guys! Guess what, guys?!

FINALLY! After over two years of not getting any?

....

...I'm still not getting any.

Sep 26, 2013#390

Adam

ThatNickGuy said:
Guys! Hey! Hey guys! Guys! Guess what, guys?!

FINALLY! After over two years of not getting any?

....

...I'm still not getting any.

hi5s all around!

Sep 27, 2013#391

Chad Sexington

Gusto said:
The irony of bragging in a thread about having sex, but doing so anonymously, is entertaining to me.

Touche.

(It was totally me. Broke a... not insignificant dry spell.)

(And yes, I evidently am still quite puerile enough to find my sex life noteworthy for all others to know about.)

Sep 27, 2013#392

Adam

Chad Sexington said:
Touche.

(It was totally me. Broke a... not insignificant dry spell.)

(And yes, I evidently am still quite puerile enough to find my sex life noteworthy for all others to know about.)

Attaboy!

Sep 27, 2013#393

Gusto

Chad Sexington said:
Touche.

(It was totally me. Broke a... not insignificant dry spell.)

(And yes, I evidently am still quite puerile enough to find my sex life noteworthy for all others to know about.)

I didn't want to call you out or anything, dude, I was just making some observational humourz!

Sep 27, 2013#394

Chad Sexington

Gusto said:
I didn't want to call you out or anything, dude, I was just making some observational humourz!

Oh I know but the point was valid

Sep 27, 2013#395

Tinwhistler

You know, I never post in this thread. I'd hate to artificially raise my post count like that

Sep 27, 2013#396

Frank

I don't think this thread is for married people (well, hopefully not, but in some cases it probably is) or folk in long term relationships.

Sep 27, 2013#397

Tinwhistler

Frank said:
I don't think this thread is for married people (well, hopefully not, but in some cases it probably is) or folk in long term relationships.

If we were talking about my last marriage, I'd have fit right in here. I'd have posted maybe 3 times a year.

Sep 27, 2013#398

Ravenpoe

Tinwhistler said:
I'd hate to artificially raise my post count like that

Oh hell, if we're counting artificially, I'd be posting in here every damn day.

Sometimes twice on weekends.

Sep 27, 2013#399

Sparhawk

Frank said:
I don't think this thread is for married people (well, hopefully not, but in some cases it probably is) or folk in long term relationships.

Sep 27, 2013#400

Terrik

Well that's a shame.

Oct 7, 2013#401

Adam

So I come back from my trip and apparently I was missed. Repeatedly.

Oct 7, 2013#402

Cajungal

Nice.

I'm married and am also posting about conquests. Deal with it! Jake's been sick and he took his sweet goddamned time getting better. *victory lap........ dance*

Oct 7, 2013#403

Officer_Charon

Hell yeah! Married posting about antics!

Consider this one post-dated from yesterday - working off-duty tonight, so no fun stuffs.

Oct 8, 2013#404

Jay

Is it OK to have passionate sex 6 feet away from a 2 month old baby in their bassinette? If yes...

Last night wife was like...

I responded with...

My face when I was done.

It's been awhile. Prolly longest since my teen years. 4 months? Shiiiiiet.

Oct 9, 2013#405

Bowielee

Dry spell since last time I posted in this thread... broken. I think it was just about a year ago...

Oct 15, 2013#406

Hailey Knight

Damn, this was a strange evening.

Oct 16, 2013#407

Adam

Jay said:
Is it OK to have passionate sex 6 feet away from a 2 month old baby in their bassinette? If yes...

My face when I was done.

View attachment 12253

It's been awhile. Prolly longest since my teen years. 4 months? Shiiiiiet.

So, were you Tom Hanks or the black kid in that?

Oct 23, 2013#408

jwhouk

20th Anniversary tonight.

Oct 24, 2013#409

Shawn

Zero Esc said:
Damn, this was a strange evening.

Dare I ask?

Oct 24, 2013#410

Hailey Knight

Shawnacy said:
Dare I ask?

You can, but you won't get an answer.

Oct 25, 2013#411

Bubble181

Zero Esc said:
You can, but you won't get an answer.

Okay, and how about if I ask, with cute puppydog eyes?

Oct 25, 2013#412

Shawn

Bubble181 said:
Okay, and how about if I ask, with cute puppydog eyes?

No... some things just shouldn't be known.

Oct 25, 2013#413

Bubble181

Shawnacy said:
No... some things just shouldn't be known.

As long as you (and preferably the other party/ies involved) enjoyed it, it's all good.

Oct 25, 2013#414

Hailey Knight

Bubble181 said:
Okay, and how about if I ask, with cute puppydog eyes?

I don't know how sex works in your country, but in America, it doesn't involve puppydog eyes.

Nov 25, 2013#415

Adam

All day bumpathon.

Nov 26, 2013#416

Frank

I put her to "bed" and while she sleeps, I'm sitting at my desk, naked, eating ice cream and watching Magic The Gathering card reviews on Youtube.

Living the dream.

Jan 6, 2014#417

Adam

Ah lunch.

Jan 7, 2014#418

Gusto

Adam said:
Ah lunch.

Sky rockets in flight?

Jan 7, 2014#419

Jay

Baby hit the sack early tonight and wife was feeling frisky missing me all day while I was out.... and showed up at the door like this.

.... and I'm done.

Jan 8, 2014#420

Ravenpoe

Jay said:
Baby hit the sack early tonight and wife was feeling frisky missing me all day while I was out.... and showed up at the door like this.

View attachment 13554

.... and I'm done.

Jan 8, 2014#421

bhamv3

Jay said:
Baby hit the sack early tonight and wife was feeling frisky missing me all day while I was out.... and showed up at the door like this.

View attachment 13554

.... and I'm done.

I read this as you showed up at your door dressed up like that, and briefly wondered 1. How you managed to fit in it, and 2. Just what your job is, exactly.

Jan 8, 2014#422

LittleSin

Jay said:
Baby hit the sack early tonight and wife was feeling frisky missing me all day while I was out.... and showed up at the door like this.

View attachment 13554

.... and I'm done.

Did you have her clean anything?

Jan 8, 2014#423

Jay

She cleaned some pipes all right.

Jan 8, 2014#424

Ravenpoe

Jay said:
She cleaned some pipes all right.

This is how I picture Jay right now.

Jan 8, 2014#425

PatrThom

Better than picturing him in that maid outfit, brandishing a chenille stem.

--Patrick

Jan 8, 2014#426

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
Better than picturing him in that maid outfit, brandishing a chenille stem.

--Patrick

Well, I wasn't picturing that... until now. So thanks a lot.

Jan 8, 2014#427

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:
Well, I wasn't picturing that... until now. So thanks a lot.

...like a fuzzy little lightsaber.

--Patrick

Feb 9, 2014#428

Sparhawk

It's a good morning to be woken up!

Feb 9, 2014#429

Cajungal

Sparhawk said:
It's a good morning to be woken up!

Lazy Sunday lovin' is good lovin'.

Feb 10, 2014#430

Terrik

Going back to work has been too stressful and exhausting to get me into the mood. I think my fiance would be more understanding if I wasn't playing DOTA while explaining it.

Feb 10, 2014#431

Ravenpoe

Terrik said:
Going back to work has been too stressful and exhausting to get me into the mood. I think my fiance would be more understanding if I wasn't playing DOTA while explaining it.

Ask her if she'd be willing to go bottom. If you know what I mean. :unibrow:

Feb 10, 2014#432

Gilgamesh

I know sex while playing a game is mostly for -I've done it- factor but we've both come on to the other while one plays a game that it's just too much fun trying to watch the person concentrate on the game while it gets heated.

Feb 10, 2014#433

Terrik

Hell, it was even hard while trying to play Hearthstone.

Feb 10, 2014#434

Gilgamesh

Terrik said:
Hell, it was even hard while trying to play Hearthstone.

I was off tank of my guild in WoW. Let's just say even though we'd wipe, I'd be happy as all hell while getting yelled at over Vent.

Feb 10, 2014#435

Hailey Knight

Any mutliplayer game we're both playing with even the slightest competitive aspect to it and we end up abandoning the game console after 30 minutes. So many unfinished Mario Parties ...

Oh shit, that's why she keeps wanting to play Borderlands! Damn, damn, fuck, damn, so many missed opportunities.

Feb 10, 2014#436

bhamv3

On the MUD I play, there's a well-known married couple who are both quite flirtatious with other players. They're both ok with the other person having mudsex with other people, since the end result is generally that they get so horny they end up jumping their spouse.

I believe one guy characterized it as "Dammit, I do all the hard work warming her up, and he's the one who benefits!"

Feb 10, 2014#437

Shawn

My wife would be furious if I got turned on enough by someone/thing else and then came to her wanting to get it on.

Feb 10, 2014#438

Jay

Shawnacy said:
My wife would be furious if I got turned on enough by someone/thing else and then came to her wanting to get it on.

Feb 11, 2014#439

Ravenpoe

Shawnacy said:
My wife would be furious if I got turned on enough by someone/thing else and then came to her wanting to get it on.

Well, yeah, but your wife gets mad about a lot of things.

bhamv3 said:
On the MUD I play, there's a well-known married couple who are both quite flirtatious with other players. They're both ok with the other person having mudsex with other people, since the end result is generally that they get so horny they end up jumping their spouse.

I believe one guy characterized it as "Dammit, I do all the hard work warming her up, and he's the one who benefits!"

Hold on. People play MUDs for things other than mudsex?

Feb 11, 2014#440

Frank

Man, if letting outside things get my girlfriend hot and bothered bothered me, Spartacus would have been my least favorite show of all time. Spartacus is not my least favorite show of all time.

Feb 11, 2014#441

bhamv3

Frank said:
Man, if letting outside things get my girlfriend hot and bothered bothered me, Spartacus would have been my least favorite show of all time. Spartacus is not my least favorite show of all time.

Dat Manu Bennett.

And I'm actually sitting at work mudding right now. It's better than the alternative, which is actually doing my work.

Feb 11, 2014#442

Terrik

bhamv3 said:
Dat Manu Bennett.

And I'm actually sitting at work mudding right now. It's better than the alternative, which is actually doing my work.

翻译我的

Feb 11, 2014#443

bhamv3

Terrik said:
翻译我的

You take that back! My mother is a saint!

Feb 11, 2014#444

Bubble181

Terrik said:
Hell, it was even hard while trying to play Hearthstone.

My problem is I can parse this in two completely opposite ways.
"Difficult to perform" hard or "ready to perform" hard?

Feb 11, 2014#445

blotsfan

Zero Esc said:
Any mutliplayer game we're both playing with even the slightest competitive aspect to it and we end up abandoning the game console after 30 minutes. So many unfinished Mario Parties ...

Thats lucky. Mario Party usually just causes my girlfriend and I to hate each other for the rest of the day.

Feb 11, 2014#446

Tinwhistler

And it's not even March 14th yet...

:whistling:

Feb 17, 2014#447

Frank

I've been away from home for two weeks dealing with my grandpa's stuff. Now I am home. FINALLY.

Feb 19, 2014#448

Gilgamesh

Our sex life is pretty regular and some have already complained when I talk about our extra activities, so this time all I'm posting is that once last night and then woken up the next morning to it again is a damn good feeling. Who says the sex life decreases as marriage goes on? Pfft, 11yrs and it's still hot!

Feb 19, 2014#449

WasabiPoptart

Gilgamesh said:
Who says the sex life decreases as marriage goes on? Pfft, 11yrs and it's still hot!

Married going on 10 years this year and neither of us has a complaint except we'd like to do it more often. Between his work schedule and me with everything else, we're tired by the time the kids are in bed.

Feb 19, 2014#450

Gilgamesh

WasabiPoptart said:
Married going on 10 years this year and neither of us has a complaint except we'd like to do it more often. Between his work schedule and me with everything else, we're tired by the time the kids are in bed.

Oh Wasabi, I know your plight all too well.

Feb 19, 2014#451

Shawn

Can't have sex. Baby wakes up and stares at us.

Feb 19, 2014#452

WasabiPoptart

Shawnacy said:
Can't have sex. Baby wakes up and stares at us.

That's what living rooms and showers are for?

Feb 19, 2014#453

Gilgamesh

WasabiPoptart said:
That's what living rooms and showers are for?

Both of those + We once did it in the garage, in the back of our SuV (makeshift bed with comforter + pillows), with the baby monitor inside with us.

Feb 19, 2014#454

Sparhawk

Pfft... 25 years married. Oh yeah.

Feb 19, 2014#455

CrimsonSoul

Gilgamesh said:
Both of those + We once did it in the garage, in the back of our SuV (makeshift bed with comforter + pillows), with the baby monitor inside with us.

Oh man. My braid skipped over the with and I read that the baby monitor was inside you... Awkward...

Feb 19, 2014#456

Ravenpoe

Shawnacy said:
Can't have sex. Baby wakes up and stares at us.

Sounds like it's time to show that baby who the alpha male of the house is.

...

Or just go to another room. It'll be fine.

Feb 20, 2014#457

Jay

Shawnacy said:
Can't have sex. Baby wakes up and stares at us.

Do what I do.

"Shhh, daddy needs to bust a nut. Your brother wants to join the battle."

Feb 20, 2014#458

fade

Hmm...

No such luck here. It's been 1-2 times a month since I met my wife. Sometimes less. And I've never even considered the notion of being too tired for it.

Mar 7, 2014#459

Jay

Mar 7, 2014#460

Cajungal

Jake and I found an Adam and Eve shop on our vacation. Fun new things happened.

Mar 7, 2014#461

blotsfan

Threesome with a snake?

Mar 7, 2014#462

Cajungal

blotsfan said:
Threesome with a snake?

Fruit and fig leaves for everybody!

Mar 7, 2014#463

Just Me

Cajungal said:
Jake and I found an Adam and Eve shop on our vacation. Fun new things happened.

New things happened and you got evicted?

Mar 7, 2014#464

Jay

Mar 10, 2014#465

Naiwen

I am virgin actually, never had sex with anyone.

Mar 10, 2014#466

Krisken

Naiwen said:
I am virgin actually, never had sex with anyone.

And that's ok too.

Mar 21, 2014#467

Officer_Charon

She was on an enforced hiatus after our son was born.

We were SUPPOSED to wait until the doctor cleared us... but she had to reschedule that appointment.

But since I was already "in the area," as it were...

That was the quickest run to the pharmacy EVER.

Mar 22, 2014#468

Piotyr

Five year drought? Note-worthy.

Mar 22, 2014#469

Chad Sexington

Piotyr said:
Five year drought? Note-worthy.

Yikes. I thought 3 years was bad.

Mar 26, 2014#470

Adam

On a sexbattical. Hopefully I wont post an update for a year or so.

Apr 6, 2014#471

Celt Z

... you guys, this "Halforums pin-ups" was a great idea. Mr. Z heartily approves!

Apr 8, 2014#472

BananaHands

Weeeeeeeelp....

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Apr 8, 2014#473

Espy

I feel like BananaHands is trying to tell us something. Like he just had sex with his iPhone using Tapatalk.

Apr 11, 2014#474

Adam

Adam said:
On a sexbattical. Hopefully I wont post an update for a year or so.

Well, that lasted two weeks...

Apr 11, 2014#475

Tress

For what it's worth, you made it farther than I thought you would

Apr 11, 2014#476

Krisken

Adam said:
Well, that lasted two weeks...

You're an oak.

Apr 11, 2014#477

Adam

Krisken said:
You're an oak.

I exist now only as a shriveled up shell

Apr 11, 2014#478

GasBandit

Was it at least not with Flipout McPsychochick?

Apr 11, 2014#479

Chad Sexington

You gotta learn to be like me George Costanza

Apr 11, 2014#480

fade

GasBandit said:
Was it at least not with Flipout McPsychochick?

The McPsychochick is my favorite McDonalds sandwich. It's L-S-Delicious!

Apr 14, 2014#481

BananaHands

This might fall under the realm of TMI, but I kicked porn and all that stuff associated with it to the curb like a month and a half ago and it had done absolute wonders for the ol' sex life.

Anyway. Yesterday was a good day.

Apr 14, 2014#482

Bowielee

If it weren't for porn, I wouldn't HAVE a sex life.

:foreveralone:

Apr 14, 2014#483

Gilgamesh

Whenever I hear about people giving up porn to have a good/better sex life, I always just think:

Apr 14, 2014#484

Ravenpoe

Bowielee said:
If it weren't for porn, I wouldn't HAVE a sex life.

I'd high five you, but I know exactly where your hand has been.

Apr 14, 2014#485

Celt Z

Bowielee said:
If it weren't for porn, I wouldn't HAVE a sex life.

TIL Bowielee is a porn star. :eek:

Apr 14, 2014#486

GasBandit

Memories are my porn.

Apr 14, 2014#487

BananaHands

Bowielee said:
If it weren't for porn, I wouldn't HAVE a sex life.

I'd hit the 'hug' button, but I'm afraid I'd stick to you.

Apr 14, 2014#488

Ravenpoe

BananaHands said:
I'd hit the 'hug' button, but I'm afraid I'd stick to you.

Let's be honest here, everyone in this thread is sticky for some reason or another.

Apr 14, 2014#489

Cheesy1

I am the bunny. And no, that number of lovers on my belly has not happened recently.

Apr 15, 2014#490

Bubble181

There are two ways porn can influence your love life. The "makes your partner horny as well so increases it" variety is more fun than the "it takes the edge off so I'm less pushing and don't need it as often"

May 4, 2014#491

Adam

3 weeks, no sex and still going! Shit, I'm gonna need my own thread 'I just didn't have sex!'

May 4, 2014#492

Hailey Knight

Adam said:
3 weeks, no sex and still going! Shit, I'm gonna need my own thread 'I just didn't have sex!'

yay?

May 4, 2014#493

Sparhawk

May 4, 2014#494

Chad Sexington

I have been having some... functional issues due to depression and depression meds. It's been weeks since I have been able to, erhm, 'perform.'

Last night and this morning made up for... well, at least one of those weeks.

May 25, 2014#495

Adam

Well shit.

May 25, 2014#496

GasBandit

Maybe if you take a vow of poverty, you can win the lottery, dude.

May 25, 2014#497

Adam

GasBandit said:
Maybe if you take a vow of poverty, you can win the lottery, dude.

I see the logic in that.

May 25, 2014#498

Celt Z

Adam said:
Well shit.

...aren't you with Jay right now?
:hump:

May 25, 2014#499

drifter

May 28, 2014#500

Bubble181

Nothing like trekking through another country and changing beds practically every night. 14 day trip, 14 times of :unibrow:

. Not exactly once a day, but on average....I'll take it :whistling:

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