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Laugh it up, fuzzball! (Dave's comedy tonight)

#1

strawman

strawman

I probably missed wishing you well, but if not, GOOD LUCK!


#2

Dave

Dave

Nope. I don't leave quite yet. I'll be going in a couple hours. And yes, it's being videotaped. I hope to have a copy in the next day or two.

By the way, my stage name is Dave DeLong.


#3

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Dave said:
By the way, my stage name is Dave DeLong.
Click to expand...


#4

Dave

Dave

That's actually the reaction I'm going for. Start with a funny name and the rest falls into place.


#5

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Dave said:
That's actually the reaction I'm going for. Start with a funny name and the rest falls into place.
Click to expand...
I don't get the name. I keep saying it but it's not funny. Anyone enlighten me?


#6

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

CrimsonSoul said:
I don't get the name. I keep saying it but it's not funny. Anyone enlighten me?
Click to expand...
Dave the Long.

He has a big dick. It drives the comedy crowd wild.


#7

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

That's not funny.


#8

Dave

Dave

It's funnier than Dave Nihsen. At least I can make something out of Dave DeLong.


#9

phil

phil

Never forget who you are, Dave!


#10

Dave

Dave

I'm DeLong you need, not DeLong you want!


#11

fade

fade



#12

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Shoulda made your stage name turbo


#13

Espy

Espy

Go git 'em Dave!


#14

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Alright Dave, a little advice:
Directions in which you may fuck: left, right, forward, backward, diagonally, down.

Directions in which you may not fuck: up.


#15

Emrys

Emrys

Break a leg! Preferably someone else's.


#16

strawman

strawman

Break a heart! Preferably someone else's.


#17

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

I hope you kill. Preferably with missiles because they make big booms


#18

Emrys

Emrys

Copy cats.


#19

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Emrys said:
Break a leg! Preferably someone else's.
Click to expand...
More likely to break a hip ;)


#20

Dave

Dave

Just got back. I ended up going on first and I fucking killed it. Good crowd response, I only missed 2 jokes I had planned on (but didn't miss them) and I did a solid 9-10 minutes. I'll have the video up in a day or two so you can see me in action.

I've been asked to come back as a feature act. Score!


#21

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Can't wait to see the vid!


#22

Dave

Dave

Guy that won "Best Comic in LA 2011", JC Morgan, went on after me and I was told I blew him out of the water. This is him. He did the same set.



#23

Dave

Dave

Oh, and two other things of note. Dave DeLong has his own Facebook page now. So friend me, bitches!

Also, after my gig a woman came up behind me, threw her arms around me and said loudly, "You were so great! I wanna fuck you!" After wiping the astonished look off my face I introduced her to my wife who was sitting next to me, none too pleased.

Nothing I could do about it but man was that awkward!


#24

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Soooooo, your wife said "no" then? :p


#25

Jax

Jax

Dave said:
Also, after my gig a woman came up behind me, threw her arms around me and said loudly, "You were so great! I wanna fuck you!" After wiping the astonished smug look off my face I introduced her to my wife who was sitting next to me, none too pleased.

Nothing I could do about it but man was that awkward awesome!
Click to expand...
FTFY


#26

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Congo rats


#27

Dave

Dave

CrimsonSoul said:
Congo rats
Click to expand...
And the name Dave DeLong got some laughs, thank you very much!


#28

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

I'll let you know how horrible it is when I see the vid.


#29

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Did you really friend yourself on facebook?


#30

Dave

Dave

Shegokigo said:
Did you really friend yourself on facebook?
Click to expand...
Yes, but only so I could link them and so that if someone goes to my "normal" site they can see the DeLong account.


#31

Espy

Espy

SWEET!


#32

Hylian

Hylian

I can't wait to see the video :)


#33

Dave

Dave

Remember me telling you about the crazy woman who "wanted to fuck me" and it made me all uncomfortable? Yeah. The wife is pissed at me. God damn it! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!


#34

Dave

Dave

Edit for the Facebook thing. Ame told me I had done it wrong doing it as a person instead of a page. So I converted it. Now I'm reconfiguring again. She told me if you've already been friended that it'll carry over. We'll see. :)


#35

phil

phil

Just tell your wife that you can't control how people feel about all of this, being sure to gesture to your hooties.


Then strike a seductive pose.


Then either brace your ego for impact or have ALL the sex. Could go either way.


#36



Philosopher B.

phil said:
Then strike a seductive pose.
Click to expand...


#37

Emrys

Emrys

I just threw up a little in my mouth.


#38

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Just a little? X_o


#39

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

0reCv.gif


#40

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Philosopher B. said:
Click to expand...
Goddamn, that shit is hot!

I'll be in my bunk.


#41



Philosopher B.



#42

strawman

strawman

Dave said:
The wife is pissed at me.
Click to expand...
I HATE YOU FOR BEING TOO SEXY.

STOP IT RIGHT THE *bleep* NOW!!!


#43



Philosopher B.

I got punished once for being too sexy.

If you know what I mean. :unibrow:


#44

Emrys

Emrys

Philosopher B. said:
I got punished once for being too sexy.

If you know what I mean. :unibrow:
Click to expand...
No, you didn't. You were being mugged.


#45



Philosopher B.

Dammit. I thought that stilleto was too slim to fit onto anyone's foot. :-(


#46

Dave

Dave

Ready for this?



#47

Espy

Espy

READY.


#48



Philosopher B.

I don't know if I'm ready.

But I'm going in.


#49

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Philosopher B. said:
I don't know if I'm ready.

But I'm going in.
Click to expand...
Sounds like my prom night! :D
Added at: 13:18
You killed it, Dave. You totally KILLED it.

Heh, though the DeLong name now reminds me of a running joke a friend and me had. There was a real estate agent advertised sometimes on the radio called "Phil DePlussy". :D


#50

Espy

Espy

Good stuff Dave. You are pretty damn good man. It seems super natural for you man.

"There's a certain thing that goes off inside your head, and that thing is 'unrealistic expectations' ":rofl:


#51

Gryfter

Gryfter

Bravo Dave, bravo!


#52

Emrys

Emrys

Stupid firewalls on stupid work computers. Ruining my opportunites of goofing off.
I'll pop some popcorn and watch when I get home.


#53

Dave

Dave

It's true! The camera does add 50 pounds!


#54

Emrys

Emrys

You're not supposed to hold the camera while weighing yourself.


#55

Hylian

Hylian

You did a very good job out there :thumbsup:


#56

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Kudos, Mr DeLong. Kudos.


#57

Wahad

Wahad



#58

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Haven't watched yet but CONGRATS DAVE. I'm excited for you.


#59

Dave

Dave

Thanks, all! It was a blast! Well, everything except the crazy drunk chick who got my ass in trouble. Her I could have done without!


#60

Emrys

Emrys

How about if we all show up at your next venue and throw our underwear at you?


#61

Dave

Dave

Emrys said:
How about if we all show up at your next venue and throw our underwear at you?
Click to expand...
Um...probably a bad idea. Unless it's Gusto. He's so dreamy.


#62

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

What about us Dave? I thought I was the only one for you!


#63

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Dave said:
Um...probably a bad idea. Unless it's Gusto. He's so dreamy.
Click to expand...
JBSBM.png


#64

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Kari.... DeLong.... I don't get it. :(

But you got some laughs out of me! Good job! ^^ *clap clap*


#65

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Carried along.


#66

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

I still don't get it. :(


#67

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Her name becomes a play on words. It isn't immediately obvious that her name would be one by marrying Dave, so when it's revealed that it sounds like two actual words, you weren't expecting that to be her objection. It also implies passivity on her part, which is another potential thing she could be objecting to.


#68

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process."
— E. B. White


#69

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

That was pretty darn good.


#70

Dave

Dave

I submitted this to another critique site and got this:

To be honest you could spend a little more time working your material, run the stuff by some of your friends before taking to the open mike. Got a lot of potential though.
Click to expand...
Can you expand? What about it did you not like? What did you like?
Click to expand...
For specifics, on a lot of the jokes the build up was long but the punch line was a little lackluster (Carry Delong, Eye color said 'broke,' ). The set up themselves have good energy, but the punches are a little anticlimactic. You were funniest when you said true, self depricating things (like Louis CK and Chris Rock use) like with the girl in the bedroom being like a disappointed kid on Christmas. I would stick to trueisms (funny b/c their true) and stay away from embellishment (guns in the bin at the DMV). That's what people can relate to and laugh at.
Click to expand...


#71

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Huh. I do have to agree on those. Some of the build-ups were pretty funny and energetic, then petered out.

For example, and these are subjective, to ME those jokes would have been funnier as such:

Carry DeLong: I didn't get this joke. And after getting it, it wasn't really funny, to me, because "carried along" itself isn't that funny. The funnier joke is the changing the first name part. You would start out saying she didn't want to get married to a man with your name (Doug DeLong). You do the "oh shit" part and the "but I love her so I pay and blah blah" part, and you end by going, "Honey, I fixed it. I changed my name to Dave!" then proceed with her shitstorm. And maybe a more understandable name than "Doug". I didn't quite here it at first, so shoot for a longer / more pronounced name or even another pun.

Broke Eye: I was actually on board with this joke all the way and was enjoying the "choose a bandana / why / where you get shot" sort of thing, and then I started laughing at the "color blind" part expecting a joke in there somewhere, and then it curved suddenly and went to "Hair: Brown / Eyes: Broke" and I just went, "wat? Where'd the joke go??"

I did enjoy the guns/bin joke at the DMV, especially having to take one when you go.

No offense here, just adding to his critique.

Also! I would try to stay away from the "get someone funnier than me up here" type jokes, they hurt you I think. Like, a "I'll be out of your hair for the next guy soon" can work, but stay away from the "funnier than me" parts because it sort of feels like a sympathy line and it sends negative pangs to the audience.

If you'd like I could watch the video again and take more detailed notes on what I personally felt worked and what didn't.


#72

Piotyr

Piotyr

So...was the emcee the crazy drunk lady?
Added at: 20:04
doomdragon6 said:
Carry DeLong: I didn't get this joke. And after getting it, it wasn't really funny, to me, because "carried along" itself isn't that funny. The funnier joke is the changing the first name part. You would start out saying she didn't want to get married to a man with your name (Doug DeLong). You do the "oh shit" part and the "but I love her so I pay and blah blah" part, and you end by going, "Honey, I fixed it. I changed my name to Dave!" then proceed with her shitstorm. And maybe a more understandable name than "Doug". I didn't quite here it at first, so shoot for a longer / more pronounced name or even another pun.
Click to expand...
I like Peter DeLong, but it's also a bit of an obvious fake.


#73

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I have to politely agree with the critiques there, Dave. I didn't want to be the first to admit I didn't get the Kari Delong joke, either. But I fully agree that the best part of the set was about the bedroom and Christmas comparison. :D


#74

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

This might just make me sound like a stuffy prude, but I'm not overly fond of comedians going blue for no reason. Herein, Bill Cosby demonstrates how to perfectly use a swear: http://youtu.be/achFxzgS0gE?t=5m24s
It's unexpected, (except that I've told you now :D) because Cosby doesn't really swear, it's suited, it's poignant, it's funny.

The thing, of course, is if you listen to all your critics you'll go nowhere because we all find different things funny, so before taking any criticism you should know the kind of comedy you want to do... and heed the advice that betters you toward that. The rest of us, ignore or whatever.

But I'm totally right.


#75

Dave

Dave

doomdragon6 said:
Broke Eye: I was actually on board with this joke all the way and was enjoying the "choose a bandana / why / where you get shot" sort of thing, and then I started laughing at the "color blind" part expecting a joke in there somewhere, and then it curved suddenly and went to "Hair: Brown / Eyes: Broke" and I just went, "wat? Where'd the joke go??"
Click to expand...
I actually cut that bit down because I thought I was getting short on time. It usually ends with my throwing up a gang sign. But because I'm old it looks like I've either got arthritis or I'm retarded. (Sorry for the joke in bad humor.)

So I get the fact it seemed rushed. Good review, though.

But man I like that Kerri DeLong joke.


#76

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Dave said:
But man I like that Kerri DeLong joke.
Click to expand...
I got it & liked it... I think it works good too, to tease the audience. Even to add a larger pause, "You idiot, I don't care that your name is Doug, my name is Kerri!...(pregnant pause for the sharper audience members to chuckle) ...And your last name is DeLong." (more explanation for the doomdragons totally wonderful audience members who just might not be up to speed that night :D)


#77



makare

I didn't get the DeLong joke either actually. But I guess that is because we have family friends who are the DeLongs and so I don't think of it as a funny thing. Overall I'm glad the audience members were laughing but most of the time I missed the joke I guess.


#78



Philosopher B.

I got the DeLong joke, but I dunno, I was expecting something ... naughtier, I guess. When you've got a lot of buildup, you want to make sure the punch is killer. Still, you had some great energy. Just keep gettin' up there and workin' on your shit, man. Wish I had the balls (or the memory!) to get onstage.


#79

Piotyr

Piotyr

Dave said:
But man I like that Kerri DeLong joke.
Click to expand...
It just doesn't work when the audience also has to be...

(I'm so sorry)

...carried along.


#80



Philosopher B.

Thumbing that up once didn't feel like enough.


#81

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Philosopher B. said:
Thumbing that up once didn't feel like enough.
Click to expand...
Gotcha covered, brah! *fist-bump*


#82



Philosopher B.

Aw yiss. This is that Siskel and Ebe shit, son!


#83

Dave

Dave

This is the kind of feedback I need, folks. Thanks! Dave DeLong is an in-your-face kinda guy so the cursing is a part of his personae. It would be like Andrew Dice Clay (who is also a character) being totally clean. I tried being Dave Nihsen and it didn't work so well so I'm being more antagonistic with this approach.

Actually, the Kerri DeLong thing had a different ending where I said fine and wanted to fuck with her some more. I would have kept Dave and changed my last name but it would have been to something else she hated like "DeBucket" or for you math geeks, DeOne.

She said she still wasn't going to marry me so I showed her the ring I bought and said, "Fine. Guess I'll have to take THIS back!" Three weeks later we were married...


#84

Null

Null

Well, congratulations on getting up and doing it in front of an audience. You need to work on your material, and try and work more around where the light and mike stand are - you're hard to see for half your act.

I would suggest you slow down a bit, and trim your bits - you run out of steam halfway through, and then the joke finishes weak. You need to make it punchier - or, conversely, make the long meandering build up the joke.

The Kerri DeLong bit is awful. It isn't funny, and it's not going to get funny.


#85

Dave

Dave

:(

That's one of my favorite bits.


#86

Null

Null

Dave said:
:(

That's one of my favorite bits.
Click to expand...
On this page there are five comments that are either "I didn't get it" or "I didn't think it was funny". What does that tell you?


#87

Dave

Dave

Null said:
On this page there are five comments that are either "I didn't get it" or "I didn't think it was funny". What does that tell you?
Click to expand...
You guys are humorless?
Added at: 23:44
:rofl:


#88

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

I don't mean to make you feel bad, Dave. I'm a pun man; I love puns. I saw you up there, working your magic. You threw like 10 puns at us, hoping one of them would land. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did. :\


#89

Mathias

Mathias

doomdragon6 said:
I don't mean to make you feel bad, Dave. I'm a pun man; I love puns. I saw you up there, working your magic. You threw like 10 puns at us, hoping one of them would land. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did. :\
Click to expand...
I hate puns. Puns are just a step above mime.

Anyway, I think Dave did a good job overall. I have a buddy from highschool that's coming up in the comedy circuit. I always enjoy good amateur standup.



Louis CK, self-depreciating humor, always works well for a budding comic.


#90

Bones

Bones

i for one, thought it was awesome! so forget the haters


#91

Dave

Dave

Don't get me wrong, folks. I joke around but the feedback is very helpful, even though some hate some things others like, etc. It just means that I'm targeting an almost too-marrow audience. Puns are great if you get them but otherwise you feel kinda left out. So I think the Kerri DeLong this is hysterical and so do those who catch it, but I don't need to alienate 1/2 my audience for the sake of a joke I'm overly fond of.


#92

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Leave the puns for the masters, Dave.

And me. :p


#93

LittleSin

LittleSin

...I got the pun right away. And I laughed.


#94



makare

I got the pun I just don't understand the humor of the name Delong.

I never had a problem with puns until I spent alot of time on Mirc now I hate them. Rarely are puns clever enough to be actually entertaining. I make some myself such as the immaculate reception one but even then Im like, I hate myself for making that joke.

Also I don't think having your name be carried along would be worth making a big deal about. How often do people use others whole names anyway.


#95

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Nobody got my pun. I has a sad. :(


#96

Dave

Dave

doomdragon6 said:
Nobody got my pun. I has a sad. :(
Click to expand...
Welcome to my world.

No pun intended.


#97

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Hehe. I knew that'd be your response.


#98



makare

I think we all got it.


#99

Dave

Dave

Went back up tonight. Not as successful. I'll write up something more tomorrow, but it was kinda rough.


#100



Biannoshufu

what about Richard DeLong instead of Doug?
how much time do you practice aloud ?


#101

Dave

Dave

Okay, here's what went down.

I got to the place fairly early and got a small table ready as there were only going to be a few people there for me. And then about 6 or 7 showed up. Problem is, the people who showed up were the ones before who were loud, obnoxious and just plain fucking rude. And they continued where they left off. Telling them to shut the fuck up had little to no effect. And because of them, the guy running the thing put me on near last (almost midnight), which ensured the room was nearly empty. Those who were there were only there because (a) they wanted to see me or (2) they wanted to destroy me because of the assholes I was sitting with who fucked with their friends when they were on stage. Let me put it this way - my boss's wife confronted one of the comedians at the bar because she felt he told too many racist jokes (and this dude was funny as shit!).

So that was the atmosphere when I hit the stage. To make matters worse, I was trying out some new stuff. Not sure if the new stuff doesn't work or if it was swallowed up by the room but it was fucking brutal. I did my time and got out.

Next time I'm not telling anyone I'm going up. If they'll even let me come back now.


#102



makare

If they were disruptive why didn't you get put on early to get you and those people out of there?


#103

Dave

Dave

makare said:
If they were disruptive why didn't you get put on early to get you and those people out of there?
Click to expand...
Excellent question. Don't quite get the logic, but the guy running teh show told me point blank that the reason I went on when I did was because of the jerks with me.


#104

strawman

strawman

Sucks to have a sucky night, but hey, things can only go up!


#105

Dave

Dave

Right now I'm dying of boredom in a two hour meeting. Ugh.


#106

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Dave, that's hilarious! :rofl:


#107

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Could be worse, could be substituting at a slow branch, where noone knows you and prefers to see the other account reps, so you sit here the whole day, with a super internet security block, keeping you from doing anything remotely interesting online other than watching the minutes click by and the threads refresh here on HF.


#108

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

(late) Thumbs up, Dave! That was funny!


#109

strawman

strawman

Dave said:
Okay, here's what went down.
Click to expand...
The more I think about it, the more I think your evening was rife with material. Seriously, if you sat down for an hour or so you could probably come up with some great material, both self-deprecating as well as sticking it to hecklers in general.

Then, next time someone heckles you more than they should, launch into it, "You know, the thing about hecklers is, well - let me tell you about an evening I had at comedy club x awhile back..."

It might work to shut up new hecklers, and if well written and practised could be quite a funny aside before getting back on track.


#110



Philosopher B.

Standup is like the streets - you win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day ...



#111

fade

fade

I hear that Michael Richards has some great advice on getting back at hecklers.


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