May Contest - Haiku Me, Baby!

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Dave

Dave

Staff member
May Contest time!

This is a haiku.
Five syllables then seven
Then five more. get it?


It's that easy, folks. I'm going for funny, sublime or full of imagery. Anything is on the table.

Multiple entries are perfectly okay.
NO topic is out of bounds.
If not a haiku (5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables) your entry will be disqualified.
Entries must be on three lines with the 5/7/5 setup as I've put as an example above.
The contest will end on Friday May 28 and a winner will be chosen by June 11.
The prize will be a copy of the soon-to-be-compiled book of Halforums' writings contest entries!

So poets...start your [STRIKE]engines[/STRIKE] haiku!
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Ripped from the pages of Dangerously Low On Grog:

Parenting: A Haiku

Kids sharing bath time
When my daughter says the words,
"Hey, there's poop in here".
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
You're a bitch bitch bitch
Knock knock? Who's there? It's you,
All being a bitch.

^Based on an earlier rant. Too much?
 
E

Element 117

bottles stand sentry
glass soldiers in every room
her pillow, untouched
 
phil

phil

I have ninety nine
problems but a bitch is not
counted among them

Did you see watchmen
You would for sure remember
there was that blue dick
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Lo! A Challenge, posed.
Clever thoughts abound within.
Writers' block! Alas!

Notarized the will.
Death and Taxes come for me.
Who will get here first?

Get back from the door!
Overturn the furniture!
Quick! The Cops are here!

Toddler on his stool.
Water, water everywhere.
Who taught HIM to pee?

Screen is blurry now
Fingers tap the final keys
Manifesto...done!

Slam the trunk lid down!
Payments falling weeks behind?
Boss would like a 'chat.'

Wife is angry now.
Says I don't remember stuff.
Better write that down.

XBox Live is done.
Die-hard Halo 2 fans cling.
Only twelve remain.

Surfing all night long.
Internet is full of win!
Sleep? Who has the time?

Caffeinated drinks.
Blasting brain and bladder, both.
Keep me going. Wheeee!

(Want more? I gots more. Lots more.)

--Patrick
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Sit at twirly desk
Sanitize ringing desk phone
Parrot canned answers

---------- Post added at 11:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 AM ----------

Forum truth or dare!
Come play. What, are you chicken?
Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk!

---------- Post added at 12:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:58 AM ----------

Bitter espresso
Kind of Blue, conversation
Comfy orange chairs
 
drawn_inward

drawn_inward

Cool wind, lush green grass
Wet sidewalks, birds singing songs
Spring, glad you are here

Tomatoes, chilies,
garlic, onions, and some lime
It is salsa time!
 
Hylian

Hylian

A new day at work
Time to get stuff done for once
Why am I still here?


new electronics
So new so clean so shiny
That's why I am broke
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Fine, take my woman,
But throwing barrels is rude.
God damned dirty ape.

Haunted by colors
I run my dotted mazes
taking strength from pills.

Through slotted helmet
I face my opponent's lance
And spur my ostrich.
 
Ross

Ross

Staff member
This haiku sucks balls.
I don't think it's very good...
I shall try again.

This is Halforums;
Phoenix of the abandoned,
And so it did rise.

The Fallen Empire,
Taken by the commonwealth.
We rebel to save.

A war-scarred Hero,
Scared by an ancient world
He used to call "Home."

It is pitch black. You
are likely to be eaten
by a grue. > Go north.

It's past my bed time...
I'll be back with more haikus,
but now I must rest.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

I'm going for funny, sublime or full of imagery. Anything is on the table.
Click to expand...
Anything, huh? Hmm...

Yay! The wedding's done.
Now our child will be legit.
Fuck you, Mom and Dad!

Dude! Your Dad is here!
Drop a trash can on his head.
Wyld Stallyns rule!

Farming gold in WoW
I take home six bucks a day
for my twelve hours' work.

Pile up those briquettes!
Soak 'em good with gasoline!
Where'd my eyebrows go?

Toward the murky depths.
Lungs are burning, vision blurs.
Damn, these knots are good.

Envelope for me?
Says here I've been called to serve.
Honey! Pack my things!

Grown men with balloons.
Painted lips call kiddies near.
Clowns are creepy, man.

Bullets in my bag.
Tons for them and one for me.
Either way, I'm set.

Earwax on my thumb.
No idea where it's from.
Doesn't taste like mine!

Neighbor with a gun
Running 'round his yard at night.
Damn PTSD.

My car's something else.
Gets 300 MPG
Only downhill, though.

Powder 'round his nose
Keeps him going day and night
Guy's a donut freak.

Health care on the tube.
Fuck that shit! I'm off to dine.
Crave case, here I come!

--Patrick
 
Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present a series of haiku I call:
"A Chase"

Crimson, Sapphire
Lights play over your car.
"Press hard, five copies."

"Dispatch, one running!"
Adrenaline dump, heart pounds.
Cannot crash again.

"He's south, at the fence!"
Oh God, just around the bend.
Unbuckle, get set.

There he is! Bastard!
Sees me and his eyes widen.
Gotcha now, dirty.

"Get on the ground now!"
Sweaty shirt, heaving breaths wheeze.
"Why'd you run?" "I's scared."

Click-click. Get him up.
Pursuing officer shows.
Crap, my ticket book!
 
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