[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

[ElJuski]

Serious dating advice: Be yourself only goes half way. Also be socially acceptable. That might mean shaving, finding some decent clothes, and pruning your dating profile so that you're not, "LOOKING FOR MY DREAM GIRL" and more like, "HEY I'M A DECENT HUMAN BEING AND HOPING TO HANG OUT". Nobody likes it when you reek of desperation, and you should realize that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl of your fantasies isn't going to show up at your doorstep. Also realize that dating isn't a permanent thing. You can easily date a girl for a little while until your move, or shit, don't even date, just hang out with her and have fun (and maybe let your freak flag fly).

All too many men get all up in arms about dating, and I think it's because pop-culture and the internet have warped their brain. Women aren't objects to be achieved or owned; they are people. Take some time to spruce yourself up, start feeling good about yourself, go out and sell yourself.

Trust me, I know it isn't easy. But if I can move halfway across the country, have hardly any friends out here, and mainly go out with people I work with five to ten years older than me, and still get dates and play on the regular, anyone can do it.

 

[fade]

All too many men get all up in arms about dating, and I think it's because pop-culture and the internet have warped their brain. Women aren't objects to be achieved or owned; they are people. Take some time to spruce yourself up, start feeling good about yourself, go out and sell yourself.

Hmmm. I don't think this is why. I think it's because our society still largely makes it the male's responsibility to be the mate-getter. That is stressful. There is some kernel of truth in that image GasBandit posted in the funny images thread.

 

[AshburnerX]

All too many men get all up in arms about dating, and I think it's because pop-culture and the internet have warped their brain.

I'd argue that women do the same thing, mainly because of Romantic Comedies and Sit Coms. It's not a one way street; both sides are guilty.

Basically, dating sucks right now because we've been taught by movies and TV that it should be easy/wacky/romantic and that it's only not easy/wacky/romantic for losers.

 

[Shegokigo]

I'd argue that women do the same thing, mainly because of Romantic Comedies and Sit Coms. It's not a one way street; both sides are guilty.

Basically, dating sucks right now because we've been taught by movies and TV that it should be easy/wacky/romantic and that it's only not easy/wacky/romantic for losers.

I'm going to disagree on the fact that dating for me has gotten easier over the years thanks to movies and TV showing that "experimenting" or being "yourself" isn't wrong anymore.

 

[ElJuski]

well here's my point: okay, society puts pressure on us to be the mate-getter. So-fucking-what? I think that cleaning yourself up, being relaxed, and being yourself will do wonders. Sitting there stressing or moping about it ain't gonna help.

EDIT: That is to say, we need to stop making excuses for ourselves that dating sucks and that we're incompatible.

 

[fade]

That's like saying "advanced quantum mechanics requires a background in differential equations and tensor mathematics. So fucking what?" It's not an excuse to some people, it's a serious impediment.

 

[ElJuski]

T-t-t-t-talking to a girl and getting an advanced degree are two completely separate things, and I think it's bullshit to assume they're anything similar. Sure, its tough. It's really hard for me to get off my ass and get a diet and workout routine going. But I work on it, and eventually, I get to my goal.

You're not going to turn around tomorrow and be some suave lothario. But I think the first step is get beyond the "woe is me" and the excuses and move on. Sure, you have that impediment. Accept it, now step two. What are you going to do about it? Go on the internet, or try and talk to girls and get a date?

 

[fade]

I completely disagree with you that they're not "anything similar". If you get off your butt and take some advanced math, you can be a quantum physicist, too. Some people will never be great at it, no matter how hard they try. Some people can possibly never do it even with serious application. Every argument you're making equally applies in my eyes. I fail to see the "bullshit". You think it's easy because you can see the path from point A to B. I think physics is easy because I can see the path from A to B.

 

[MindDetective]

I completely disagree with you that they're not "anything similar". If you get off your butt and take some advanced math, you can be a quantum physicist, too. Some people will never be great at it, no matter how hard they try. Some people can possibly never do it even with serious application. Every argument you're making equally applies in my eyes. I fail to see the "bullshit". You think it's easy because you can see the path from point A to B. I think physics is easy because I can see the path from A to B.

Requoted because it's so right.

 

[Cajungal]

This is just from my own experience with people, but I feel that there would be more happy couples--or at least more people dating and figuring out what they want--if more women let go of their desire to be pursued.

If I'd have waited for that from my super-shy fella, we might not be where we are today. He got more assertive once I made my feelings clear. It must be scary not knowing what someone is thinking and putting yourself out there.

 

[SeraRelm]

How I feel when texting a girl you like.

 

[MindDetective]

This is just from my own experience with people, but I feel that there would be more happy couples--or at least more people dating and figuring out what they want--if more women let go of their desire to be pursued.

If I'd have waited for that from my super-shy fella, we might not be where we are today. He got more assertive once I made my feelings clear. It must be scary not knowing what someone is thinking and putting yourself out there.

It may not be women that are just waiting but everyone.

Fuel for this fire:



Derive what relevance you will.

 

[Hylian]

Serious dating advice: Be yourself only goes half way. Also be socially acceptable. That might mean shaving, finding some decent clothes, and pruning your dating profile so that you're not, "LOOKING FOR MY DREAM GIRL" and more like, "HEY I'M A DECENT HUMAN BEING AND HOPING TO HANG OUT". Nobody likes it when you reek of desperation, and you should realize that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl of your fantasies isn't going to show up at your doorstep. Also realize that dating isn't a permanent thing. You can easily date a girl for a little while until your move, or shit, don't even date, just hang out with her and have fun (and maybe let your freak flag fly).

All too many men get all up in arms about dating, and I think it's because pop-culture and the internet have warped their brain. Women aren't objects to be achieved or owned; they are people. Take some time to spruce yourself up, start feeling good about yourself, go out and sell yourself.

Trust me, I know it isn't easy. But if I can move halfway across the country, have hardly any friends out here, and mainly go out with people I work with five to ten years older than me, and still get dates and play on the regular, anyone can do it.

I am not one to mope around and whine about not having a girlfriend (today is the first time I have really ever whined about it). I know that a relationship is not some magic cure all for whatever ails me but I still have a desire to find someone who loves and cares for me. I know that women are not objects to be owned and I never meant for it to come across as that. While I am not socially oblivious I will admit I am oblivious when it comes to flirting (which probably stems from lack of experience and lack of self confidence) and I probably could be doing more to meet girls but at the same time I don't want to date just anyone. I want to find someone to be my friend my confident my lover.

And I have been working on myself. I have been going to the gym for several months now and I have lost a decent bit of weight and I have put on some muscle ( I still have a bit to go but I am doing very well in that regard) I made sure that the clothes I have are ones that fit nicely. They aren't super dressy but they are nice and if needed to be they probably could be used as dressy clothes. So I am working on myself as well as trying to be more out there but for me it is hard. I feel like I am having to grow my social skills from scratch because as a kid they never got used. And when they did get used they were more of a sit down and shut up and be super courteous stuff.

 

[PatrThom]

Surprisingly useful advice.

I'm surprised at you, ElJuski. This isn't the sort of thing I usually expect you to write.

I'm not sure I really have room to talk, really. I fell into every relationship I've been in. Some of them didn't turn out so well, one of them was so good I decided to strap myself to it for the rest of my life. Stuff happens. So long as you don't spend too much time dwelling on the bad stuff and you don't start every potential opposite-sex interaction with a description of your dick, you'll likely at least get comfortable with it, if not "skilled."

As for quantum physics (or any specialized subject, for that matter), the people who get good at [thing] are the people who really enjoy [thing]. If you don't enjoy The Scene, chances are good that you aren't going to become that suave guy everyone wants to hang around with. But if you at least spend enough time taking notes and putting in the homework, you shouldn't have too much trouble at least getting a passing grade.

--Patrick

 

[SeraRelm]

When all else fails...

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I wanna fuck you!"

 

[WasabiPoptart]

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

 

[Silver Jelly]

Lately the fact that I am single seems to be weighing on me more and more especially when I take into account that I have never had a girlfriend. Here I am 25 almost 26 and I have never had a girlfriend or even been on a stupid date.

For some reason, this is something that is in my head lately much more than usual. I blame spring.

I... have no advice. What I can say is that I had a date earlier this year -probably the only "real" date I've ever had-, and it was just because I just decided to ask, even if everything was against me. I probably didn't do too well at the date, because it ended with the girl saying she would ask me out the next time and all I've seen from here from that point on where hilarious scenes of tumbleweeds... But I still got somewhere by saying "this girl is fucking the guy she's lusted after for several years, gives mixed messages and there's nothing in this situation that makes it look like she'll want to go out with me? I don't care, I'll ask!"

Which, by the way, is a thought process implanted in my brain by the little halforums advice elf that lives in my brain. He usually looks like Chazwozel in his Hockey shirt and tells me to "get my shit together"

So, anyways. Listen to the little elf. Or just do the kamikaze?

As I said, I have no real advice.

 

[Frank]

Step one to getting a girl to go out with you: Wear a real and not made up nerd uniform of someone in authority.

Date guaranteed.

Step one in getting a girl to sleep with you: Let her wear your stetson.

Boning guaranteed.

 

[Silver Jelly]

Step one to getting a girl to date you: Wear a uniform of someone in authority.

Date guaranteed.

I'm off to buy a darth vader outfit!

 

[Frank]

I'll amend it.

 

[Silver Jelly]

So... Pope clothes?

 

[Frank]

Have you seen The Borgias? Popes get TOOOOOONS of pussy.

 

[Silver Jelly]

To the vatican fine clothing store! post-haste!


(Whats a stetson?)

 

[Frank]

 

[Silver Jelly]

Oh. I have a hat, but it's not as canadian.

It's actually german. Is that hot? When has a german pope not been hot?

 

[Officer_Charon]

so, how about the women of the RCMP?

That would do it for me. Yow!

...

Actually, women in uniform in general...

 

[Frank]

I think wearing a Mountie formal red would get most woman's clothes off.

so, how about the women of the RCMP?

My trainer and my bestest buddy in the mounties is an absolutely stunningly attractive woman. Her nickname is Too Hot. She had, in my old posting, 100 times the CIs of anyone there. She was also the best shot and the only one of us that scored 150 in the cold in our shooting cert.
She's more like my big sister though so nothing would ever happen there. I miss working with her, she's in northern BC now.

 

[checkeredhat]

He usually looks like Chazwozel in his Hockey shirt and tells me to "get my shit together"

...It's called a jersey...
...or sometimes a sweater. But never a "hockey shirt".

 

[WasabiPoptart]

Oh. I have a hat, but it's not as canadian.

It's actually german. Is that hot? When has a german pope not been hot?

You've gone from Darth Vader to Emperor Palpatine!

 

[Silver Jelly]

...It's called a jersey...
...or sometimes a sweater. But never a "hockey shirt".

Hockey Pajamas.

 

[checkeredhat]

 

[ElJuski]

RE: useful advice: sometimes I even surprise myself.

RE: Hylian: Good, that's awesome. Now keep doing it. Just like the fat kid trying to run a mile for the first time, you're going to come back home stinking and in a huff, but it gets easier every time, and you're on the right track. Learn from your mistakes, keep asking friends for advice (have you asked one of your good buddies or gal pals to look at your online profile and see what might be turning girls off?), and chip away at it.

You'll get the flirting thing, eventually.

 

[Cajungal]

It may not be women that are just waiting but everyone.

Fuel for this fire:



Derive what relevance you will.

Knowing you, this will be very informative, and I promise to watch it after work! I was mainly talking about situations I've encountered.

 

[LittleSin]

I have a gastrointestinal virus.

I don't want to be snhitting like this for 5-7 days. I like actual food. Perhaps too much.

Perhaps I'll loose weight?

-_-

 

[Hylian]

RE: Hylian: Good, that's awesome. Now keep doing it. Just like the fat kid trying to run a mile for the first time, you're going to come back home stinking and in a huff, but it gets easier every time, and you're on the right track. Learn from your mistakes, keep asking friends for advice (have you asked one of your good buddies or gal pals to look at your online profile and see what might be turning girls off?), and chip away at it.

You'll get the flirting thing, eventually.

Sadly I don't really trust my friends/family to check out my dating page. Now I probably will regret it but if you guys want to see it here it is. Now just as a heads up I have not updated it for ages and the pictures are at least a year out of date right now. I will admit for the most part I hate the current pictures that are on there and despite losing weight,getting nicer clothes,etc I haven't bothered to update it because I have been rather disappointed with my current results that I am thinking about deleting my profile. Of course deleting my profile and starting over may not be a bad idea.