MY TOE IS GUSHING BLOOD

Status
Not open for further replies.
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Dave said:
Embarrassing confession: until I was married I never cut my toenails. I chewed them off. Usually after a shower because it made them softer and easier to "cut" through. I didn't have a set of clippers and either never remembered to buy them or was broke. Since I've been married, though, I don't do this. Mainly because I can afford clippers and I'm not as pliant as I used to be.
Click to expand...
LOL your old Dave Lister avatar suddenly seems a lot more fitting.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Dave said:
Embarrassing confession: until I was married I never cut my toenails. I chewed them off. Usually after a shower because it made them softer and easier to "cut" through. I didn't have a set of clippers and either never remembered to buy them or was broke. Since I've been married, though, I don't do this. Mainly because I can afford clippers and I'm not as pliant as I used to be.
Click to expand...
what the flying fuck
PatrThom said:
1 out of every 5 Americans does this
Click to expand...
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Dave said:
Sitting down with a lean.
Click to expand...
I stand, turn and face the toilet. Once finished, I put my hands on my hips, tilt my head back, and bellow a triumphant victory laugh.

All without pants, because I take my pants completely off. I don't like to feel restrained.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Oh my god you guys.

We're trying to have a nice and disgusting thread about Charlie's gross toe wound, and you have to ruin it with chewed toenails and poop?!

What is this!
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Charlie Don't Surf said:
UPDATE it's kind of healed now, it's just a scab

also re: peeing, I also hate urinals because I like to drop my pants to the floor when I pee
Click to expand...
I don't even drop my pants to the floor when I take a crap. Especially in a public bathroom. I make sure my feet are far enough apart that they don't hit the ground.
 
B

BErt

*takes out notebook

never...go...to...music festivals.

*closes notebook

Thanks guys!
 
Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

Free Press Summer Fest in Houston. This thread will be updated when I get sunburnt everywhere and die of heat stroke / accidentally taking all the drugs / dancing too hard to Postal Service / clipped by Macklemore's bodyguards when I try to stop him from making music
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Charlie Don't Surf said:
Free Press Summer Fest in Houston. This thread will be updated when I get sunburnt everywhere and die of heat stroke / accidentally taking all the drugs / dancing too hard to Postal Service / clipped by Macklemore's bodyguards when I try to stop him from making music
Click to expand...
Please hydrate. Heat exhaustion is terrible; it will also be terrible for friends/EMTs who have to help you.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

It should be illegal to SELL water at major events/festivals in Houston. The should give that shit away. I hate seeing people sick because they can't afford a $4 bottle of tap water.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

sixpackshaker said:
It should be illegal to SELL water at major events/festivals in Houston. The should give that shit away. I hate seeing people sick because they can't afford a $4 bottle of tap water.
Click to expand...
It's insane that they charge money and have no free supply somewhere.

And people sometimes don't seem to realise how risky it is. After doing a few medical standbys when I was training to be an EMT and seeing people dehydrate just from alcohol in an air-conditioned building, I couldn't believe how many people get sloshed on a hot day and then piss/vomit out every drop of fluid in their bodies. Pace yourself, people, and for the love of god, drink water.

It's like watching them dessicate at high speed.
 
Shakey

Shakey

BananaHands said:
You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

Click to expand...
I have to say, the worst port-a-pottie experience for me came from the eel pout festival, not a music festival. It's basically an excuse for northern minnesotans to come out of hibernation and drink massive amounts of alcohol on a frozen lake. There was shit and puke all over every single one of these. People were even crapping and puking in the little urinal thing they have in them now. I have a pretty strong stomach, but I even recoiled at the site of them.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

BananaHands said:
You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

Click to expand...
I can't stand public restrooms. I use them only out of severe need, and never to poop. I can't even stand to be inside the high end ones that are actually kept clean.

Needless to say, port-a-potties are my nightmare.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Ravenpoe said:
I stand, turn and face the toilet. Once finished, I put my hands on my hips, tilt my head back, and bellow a triumphant victory laugh.

All without pants, because I take my pants completely off. I don't like to feel restrained.
Click to expand...
"Leeeet's do the Time Wipe agaaaaain!"
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

Re: water at festivals. If you can't afford a $4 bottle of water, every festival is supposed to have a red cross (or similar, EMT) tent/hut/location. Those always* hand out free water if needed.

*In Belgium, Germany, France, the Netherlands and the UK. Never been to a US festival, but if they don't and you get heat stroke or start dehydrating - sue the organisation! Whoo!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top