Man I hate this, I know I need to get her served, I'm not stupid. but I don't want to, I don't want to make her mad at me, I don't want to see her hurt I want to try and work it all out everything is wrong and I want to make it right it just doesn't feel right getting a divorce, I do still love her so friggin much it's killed me to file the divorce papers. I hate this I feel like crap and just want it all better I want my wife and kids back I know it'll never be the same again and I'll never have her back and it's just killing me more I practically live on facebook now just to try and talk to her when I've never logged into it except for maybe two other times since it's been created. I don't have anyone around here to talk to and frankly I don't think I'd want to I don't want to be judged by them, well him only really have one friend around here the other lives in San Antonio and the other in Hawaii I just feel so alone, so empty the only thing I have right now is a job and it's hard to go to that. I want to just give up and become a hermit but I know I can't because of my kids I need to do what's right by them but it won't be the same without her, she really is the love of my life.
---------- Post added at 08:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:32 AM ----------
I want to do the stupidest thing ever right now and messgae her on FB and tell her how much I miss her and want her back and sorry for anything I've ever done and would do anything to make her happy but I know I shouldn't because she's keeping a record to use against me it's just so hard. I just want to confess my love for her but I can't, it's killing me inside