Need your good vibes

[Wasabi Poptart]

Yes. This is the time when you want to focus on making sure you've got yourself together so you can get custody of your kids when the time comes. I know this is hard. Your emotions are running on overdrive, but when it comes to your wife you are going to have to try to think about things using reason and logic. What are you going to gain by spilling your guts to her? What is she going to gain if you continue to talk to her on FB? Don't set yourself up to be hurt more and lied to again. Protect yourself and your own interests (getting those kids back).

 

[CrimsonSoul]

oh my lord, I got to see my kids on webcam today the first time in a week that I've seen them and I talked to them on the phone. I barely held it together long enough until she made them get off it was good to see them again soon as I got off the phone I broke down can't wait to see them again, at the most 10 more days (that's when the hearing date is). it was really good to see them though. I know it's not much of an update but it's huge to me.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

It is huge. Glad you got to see them.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

9 more days till the temporary custody hearing. oh I asked her on the phone "why did you take my sheets" and she replied "it's something to remember you with" or something to that effect. I feel like she's just playing with my emotions and stringing me along, she's also telling me that she's not sure if she wants to stay with that guy (who, by seeing my kids via webcam I can see she's furnished his house with my furniture) or come back here. It's infuriating, I love her, I want her and my kids back, but at the same time I know she's playing with me and stringing me along. I can't wait till the 3rd so we can get this all figured out and the kids will be closer to me and I can see them. These 5 minute phone calls I get from a private number to talk to them isn't enough, the 5 minute webcam I got to see of them isn't enough. Everything feel slike it's falling apart. On the bright side though I have almost all of the cardboard boxes out of the house, maybe 10 more boxes left then I need to do a flea bomb then vacuum and everything should be nice and clean just need furniture. but I need to wait till after the court date because I may be getting some of it back.

---------- Post added at 09:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:01 AM ----------

I can't wait till I can hug and kiss my kids again. longest 9 days ever

---------- Post added at 09:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:02 AM ----------

I hate only being able to talk to my kids whenever she allows it because I don't have her phone number. once she gets that restraining order I should be able to get her number because one of the orders of the court is that she can't secret or hide the children and not giving me the phone number where she is or the address (that I don't care about) I feel is the same thing

---------- Post added at 09:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:04 AM ----------

Oh O_C I have a question for you. She "bought" furniture from one of our neighbors when he moved out, but now she's not going to pay him and she took the furniture. Should I call him and have him press charges on her, and if so what would the charges be?

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Does he have any proof that she was going to pay him for the furniture?

 

[CrimsonSoul]

just his word and her word so blah I guess not

 

[Bubble181]

Bit late to this, but, dude, massive amounts of good vibes from Brussels :-S
You seem to have been doing good so far, stay strong, and remember what she's done and what your goal is - getting back your children. If she's leaving you for another guy she's been seeing behind your back, and taking the kids with her, and you're doing everything you can to get your kids back, you're the good guy, she's the bad guy. Don't let anything anyone says convince you otherwise. Try to stay strong when facing her - anything you might say can and might be used against you, as the cliche goes.
Good luck, man.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

She went to the family crisis center down there and they appointed her a lawyer (according to court records she has one) I looked up the lawyer and she doesn't even specialize in civil trails, mainly criminal and personal injury suits. and She's out of Huntsville, Tx. I'm hoping that's how it stays and I may have a decent chance at everything I have more paperwork to give to my lawyer from stuff my wife has online, one of them describing herself as self-centered, whiny, as well as a lot of other negative things plus the facebook status messages of her saying she's in Wisconsin when she was in Tx. I have a file about an inch thick on her at the lawyers office from all of the stuff she has posted online from her asking for illegal downloads of TV shows to suicidal poetry to how I'm a great father and husband

---------- Post added at 04:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:20 PM ----------

My family has been a huge help in that regard they have been scouring the internet for all of her online names and printing out all of the stuff she has posted the only thing I've printed was stuff on facebook while they have found everything of hers online

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Oh here's the visitation schedule that my wife has made, I can have my kids 2 weekends a month but I have to drive to get them and bring them back (it's a 6 hour drive one way, so 24 hours to drive there and back twice in one weekend) because she can't afford to do it, and I can call whenever I want to talk to them, but she won't give me her number to talk to them.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Agree to nothing. Do not talk to her about any of this. You may be doing more harm than good, just like Ame says.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Oh I didn't agree to any of it, you can believe that, that is an INSANE visitation schedule

---------- Post added at 06:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

I'm trying for sole custody, or in the alternative joint custody but they stay with me she only gets supervised visits but I get to decide where they live, school, etc, as long as it's in this county

---------- Post added at 06:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:01 PM ----------

I've also been taking screen shots of EVERYTHING she is saying (I say screen shots instead of copy/pasting because it's harder to edit) all the deceiving/lies she's been saying plus all of her stuff she puts online, all printed screen shots or directly printed off of the internet and all of it is going to my lawyer. I think the lawyer will LOVE the visitation schedule my wife wants to give me

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Haven't talked to my kids since around 11 this morning she said she'd call later so I could talk to them and she hasn't

 

[Espy]

Stay strong man. Stay strong. Court date is coming up and thats when you will get this all settled.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Hopefully I'll get my kids, they are the most important people in the world

---------- Post added at 07:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:51 PM ----------

I'm wondering if the process server got her served and she read the paperwork and now she's pissed

 

[CrimsonSoul]

8 days to court, can't wait.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Thanks to family I am goign to have a couch and recliner a new entertainment center, bunk beds for the boys and a twin bed for my daughter and a TV set up for them, lawyer said I needed to do this (and planned on it anyway) so the courts know I'm ready to take responsibility for my children, which I am and have for their entire life. 8 more days

 

[Dave]

Why do I get the feeling that if things don't go your way you'll be dressing up like an old woman and getting hired by them as a nanny?

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Well regardless the kids will have to move back to the county they've lived in their entire lives, she can stay there if she wants, but the kids will need to come back, that's what the lawyer is saying anyway hopefully she isn't getting my hopes up. can't wait to hug n kiss 'em again

 

[CrimsonSoul]

Weird thing here, on the county records website it listed a lawyer for my wife, but when looking at it today (to see if she was served) the lawyer is no longer listed by her name. Could she have called and had this removed to throw me off into thinking that she doesn't have a lawyer, or what, anyone know?

 

[Dave]

I think you are overthinking and obsessing. I know it sucks but you should do something other than scan everything for every nugget of information. These next 8 days are going to drive you insane.

 

[Espy]

Yeah I think Dave is right man. Play some video games, go outside, read a book, etc, etc. Don't drive yourself nuts.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Thirded

 

[Officer_Charon]

Fifth'd. Dude, just relax. You've already done FAR more groundwork than most in your situation. You have an excellent foundation - now is the time to chill, muster your strength, then unleash it in the form of legal proceedings.

And with regards to your question about the furniture, that would be a civil matter, which your friend would have to take to small claims court, if he wanted to press it that far.

 

[Jiarn]

Why do I get the feeling that if things don't go your way you'll be dressing up like an old woman and getting hired by them as a nanny?

HelUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

 

[Timmus]

I generally lurk but I'll surface to send you some good vibes.

Also to follow the advice of the mods and the police officer. Their counsel looks sound to me.

 

[tegid]

Fifth'd. Dude, just relax. You've already done FAR more groundwork than most in your situation. You have an excellent foundation - now is the time to chill, muster your strength, then unleash it in the form of legal proceedings.

And with regards to your question about the furniture, that would be a civil matter, which your friend would have to take to small claims court, if he wanted to press it that far.

Think of it this way: the best thing you can do in regards to the trial next week is to rest as much as you can, try to obsess and overthink as little as you can, so you will do better when the time comes.

 

[darkangel6988]

I am sending you good vibes and many many prayers...YOu'll bounce back and everything will work out in the end it always does...

Best of luck to you and Stay Strong...Sorry you have to deal with all this !

 

[CrimsonSoul]

I found her *actual* address today, a certain company came buy looking for some equipment that she didn't turn in (to the tune of 620 bucks) and came here to pick it up, but they had the address where she lives at now as the originating address and the address here as the address where we moved to. Since we have never lived in the originating city I put 2 and 2 together and boom got the address. now just have to get a hold of the process server.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Here's something you might want to get done: get credit reports from all 3 agencies. Check them out and make sure the things listed on those reports are all ones you know about. Last thing you need is to be screwed because she's taking out credit cards or opening accounts you don't know about. You should also be able to set something up so when someone does try to open a new line of credit or take out a loan, the company has to contact you first for approval. I did just that when the military lost some of their personnel records.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

I currently have that on my account, and it's being monitored free for a year after a security leak at a place that had my info, so that's already done lol

 

[CrimsonSoul]

I don't know what's up, my wife totally flipped the script and now she won't even call to let my kids talk to me, it's been over 24 hours since I've talked to my kids. She's posting facebook updates so she's around, she's just being evil and using my kids against me which is making me upset.

 

[Espy]

You should just expect her to treat you poorly man. Don't expect anything good from her and you won't be disappointed by her selfish and horrible actions. 8 days right? Till court?

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

If she is mentally unstable, and given her recent actions, I would not expect her to act rationally or kindly.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

This is where it stands yesterday she was being all I think I might want to come back and is stripping on the webcam then today I found a diary of hers that I'm now blocked from talking about how I need to get it through my head that we are never getting back together along with previous entries about how horrible I am. So yeah I'm really starting to agree with her about not getting back together. Oh and I finally got to talk to kids at 620 while I was waiting to clock into work they seemed more excited than usual to talk to me so that's good

 

[darkangel6988]

hang in there ....I know it's not a fun process hence I sit in the same boat ....It's so annoying when people just can't cooperate I mean it's not really hard they are just retarded !

That's all I have to say really ....Good luck and keep smiling as much as you can !