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New Insults

#1

LittleSin

LittleSin

A thread where we create new and unique insults!

I already won that contest a few months back with "douche canoe". Since then the novelty has worn off.

My new insult is "cocksmith".


#2

Cajungal

Cajungal

Cocksmith?

That sounds like something they'd do on Oglaf. Some eccentric dude hammering away at a shiny new instrument for the king of the land.


#3

Wahad

Wahad

Cajungal said:
Cocksmith?

That sounds like something they'd do on Oglaf. Some eccentric dude hammering away at a shiny new instrument for the king of the land.
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There's already the dwarves. On the back is this huge cock! It comes alive at night and fucks your wife!

I don't really swear a lot anymore, but I've always been partial to ''titfly''. Doesn't work as well in English as in Dutch, though.


#4

Just Me

Just Me

Cajungal said:
Cocksmith?

That sounds like something they'd do on Oglaf. Some eccentric dude hammering away at a shiny new instrument for the king of the land.
Click to expand...
And recently there was a fucksmith. And a dentist wizard.

I'm not very creative when it comes to swearing. :(

Bloody idiot, fool, or something else usually, but with panache!


#5

drifter

drifter

The cycle of insults continues...

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html


#6

Gusto

Gusto

I really like goofball.


#7

Cajungal

Cajungal

I call people goobers, mostly, or wastes of space. Not so creative.


#8

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I like buttface. Because you have a face that is like a butt.

Children think it's hilarious. :)


#9

GasBandit

GasBandit

I've got a fondness for "assneck." And the activity of an assneck is assneckery.


#10

Jay

Jay

Cock juggling thunder cun't


#11

Gared

Gared

Yeah, I'm no so good at being creative with insults either. I do like "waste of carbon" though. I mean, carbon has to be one of the cheapest, most over-abundant elements out there, and the insultee is wasting it...


#12

LittleSin

LittleSin

When Blue was well beyond tipsy he called a pair of folks "cock knuckle and snoopy the fuck dog".

This pair were cops.


#13

LordRendar

LordRendar

Im partial to buttpirate.


#14

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

An ex girlfriend of mine used "cuntweasel" and a former boss liked "fuck-knuckle"

Personally I'm a fan of slowly enunciating "What a... bag of shit."


#15

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

This one is getting a little stale, "Furby Fucker."


#16

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Hmmm, what are my common ones?
-Ass Hat
-Douche Nozzle
-Fucktard

Tried "Douche Baggins" for a bit, but it didn't feel that fresh.


#17

PatrThom

PatrThom

"Speculum-sucking fellator of frenula"
"Masticator of micturition"
"Greedy gobbler of glans goo"
"Pharaoh of flatus"
"Chester the choke tester"
"Salacious cecum-seeker"

I could go on...

--Patrick


#18

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

cock knocker


#19

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Warning: Grotesque insults below!

dicksniffer

cumfarter

fucknugget

ass clown

Fagmosis Jones

butt guzzler

I just realized they all insinuate homosexuality. Hm.


#20

strawman

strawman

Relevant to your interests: http://www.regretsy.com/2012/08/25/sailor-trouble-2/


#21

bhamv3

bhamv3

I like to steal my insults from comedians.

"300 million sperm, that's the one that got through?"


#22

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

"I will eat your dog and impregnate your sister."


#23

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

LittleSin said:
When Blue was well beyond tipsy he called a pair of folks "cock knuckle and snoopy the fuck dog".

This pair were cops.
Click to expand...

Oh trailer park boys... gotta love it...

Officer cockknuckles and dicklock. Good times.


#24

Just Me

Just Me

sixpackshaker said:
This one is getting a little stale, "Furby Fucker."
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Ah well, sometimes I curse folks as FühnerHicker, nice play of words. In english it would correspond with LickenCHover. ;)
Or something else I like: if stupidity would roll, you would need a brake uphill.


#25

GasBandit

GasBandit

Your dendritic branches are thin and wispy.


#26

LittleSin

LittleSin

Azurephoenix said:
Oh trailer park boys... gotta love it...

Officer cockknuckles and dicklock. Good times.
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I had no idea that came from Trailer Park Boys!


#27

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

I'm fond of stating that certain people should have been blowjobs instead...

Also, disease-dribbling shitdick.


#28

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

In the major Finnish war novel, Tuntematon sotilas ('The Unknown Soldier'), there's a passage that goes like this:

"Kiireellä ei tule kuin kusipäisiä kakaroita" - which roughly translates as "The only thing you'll get by rushing is asshole children."

I sometimes mutter that some people are a result of having something to do while waiting for three-minute eggs.


#29

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

LittleSin said:
I had no idea that came from Trailer Park Boys!
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Oh yeah, cock knuckle and Snoopy the fuck dog are straight from Ricky's mouth. I love that series. My Newfie wife introduced me to it and we pop in random episodes all the time.


#30

LittleSin

LittleSin

Azurephoenix said:
Oh yeah, cock knuckle and Snoopy the fuck dog are straight from Ricky's mouth. I love that series. My Newfie wife introduced me to it and we pop in random episodes all the time.
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Damn you Blue!

Oh well..he still said to two very laid back cops. They just sorta rolled their eyes and asked me if I wanted him or not.

I was kinda tempted to say "not". :p


#31

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Smeghead?


#32

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Ravenpoe said:
Smeghead?
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Frosty Susan[DOUBLEPOST=1346432542][/DOUBLEPOST]too soon?


#33

Dave

Dave

twatgoblin?


#34

Shakey

Shakey

Dave said:
twatgoblin?
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I always preferred twat monkey.


#35

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

dingleberry is an oldie but a goodie


#36

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I lovingly refer to an ex of mine as "She whose name we don't mention" or "<Her Name> The Psycho Bitch Queen".

I mostly insult people in Finnish, and rarely even then. But I prefer classics such as paskiainen (bastard, or literally "shitling") or mulkvisti/mulkero (dickwad).


#37

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Ooh... I like Shitling... consider that one lexiconned


#38

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Pylon

Sackrat


#39

Jay

Jay

HCGLNS said:
Pylon

Sackrat
Click to expand...
http://heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa.com/


#40

Frank

Frank

Your face looks like a cum drenched, bleeding, prolapsed asshole.

Actually, calling anyone a prolapsed asshole is fun.


#41

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

My best friend just put up a good one on Facebook.

fat sausage chewing wino
Click to expand...


#42

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

HCGLNS said:
Pylon
Click to expand...


??


#43

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

I'm partial to "troglodyte" myself.


#44

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

You guys are all much meaner than I, I am outclassed.

I feel it's more insulting to just not acknowledge someone.


#45

Chippy

Chippy

Finland.


#46

jwhouk

jwhouk

BELGIUM!


#47

Bowielee

Bowielee

Azurephoenix said:
Oh yeah, cock knuckle and Snoopy the fuck dog are straight from Ricky's mouth. I love that series. My Newfie wife introduced me to it and we pop in random episodes all the time.
Click to expand...
Love that show.


#48

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Chippy said:
Finland.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that wasn't even funny anymore. Keep trying, you'll get there eventually.

*pats on the head*


#49

Chippy

Chippy

I never joke about Finland, or how nothing useful ever comes out of it ever.


#50

blotsfan

blotsfan

Chippy said:
I never joke about Finland, or how nothing useful ever comes out of it ever.
Click to expand...
Now thats just not true.



#51

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

blotsfan said:
Now thats just not true.

Click to expand...
Oh go f*** yourself, you shitling.


#52

rac3r_x

rac3r_x

gnatfucker, ya know cuz its tiny.


#53

PatrThom

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:
I feel it's more insulting to just not acknowledge someone.
Click to expand...
My strongest punishment for someone is to withhold my assistance.

--Patrick


#54

Bowielee

Bowielee

I was always partial to Cock Nazi.[DOUBLEPOST=1346535042][/DOUBLEPOST]Godwin'd?


#55

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

rac3r_x said:
gnatfucker, ya know cuz its tiny.
Click to expand...
"Needledick flyfucker" is one that my mom came out with one day. It cracked me up.


#56

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Passed a car driving erratically on the highway, I was getting ready to flip them off. Then I saw he was quite old...

My buddy said, "Wow Imohotep looks like he's 100."


#57

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Jerk.

For a Jerseyan like me not putting the effort to cuss at someone and calling them this? This is a true insult, saying that I don't want to put the effort into wasting my swear-words on them.


#58

Chippy

Chippy

awww yiss so glad you're posting again


#59

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

sixpackshaker said:
Passed a car driving erratically on the highway, I was getting ready to flip them off. Then I saw he was quite old...

My buddy said, "Wow Imohotep looks like he's 100."
Click to expand...
Was he wearing a hat? One of the things I learned a long time ago is that old men in hats driving on a Sunday are the absolute worst.


#60

Bowielee

Bowielee

Yoshimickster said:
Jerk.

For a Jerseyan like me not putting the effort to cuss at someone and calling them this? This is a true insult, saying that I don't want to put the effort into wasting my swear-words on them.
Click to expand...
Muff Cabbage?


#61

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Bowielee said:
Muff Cabbage?
Click to expand...
Pretty sure Muff is an obscenity I think.


#62

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Yoshimickster said:
Pretty sure Muff is an obscenity I think.
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure Merkin Muffley would be a double obscenity.



#63

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Coprophilic cock-slobber

Scrofulous toad is my general "good-natured" insult towards someone, usually one of the rookies in the precinct.


#64

GasBandit

GasBandit

Anybody remember the "cursing friend" from the thin H line?


#65

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

If you're in Philly, calling someone a Yankees fan. Though...do not ever do this as you will most likely be murdered.


#66

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Absolutely love this one:



#67

Frank

Frank

I'm pretty sure every Poh-leece I know uses cunt more than fuck. Cunt is a much more satisfying swear. Just the harshest sounding word.


#68

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Spider-dick. Can mean soooooooooooo many things.


#69

Bowielee

Bowielee

Frank said:
I'm pretty sure every Poh-leece I know uses smelly lady part more than fuck. smelly lady part is a much more satisfying swear. Just the harshest sounding word.
Click to expand...
so harsh it is filtered, apparently.


#70

GasBandit

GasBandit

Which is why the harshest of us ne'er-do-wells know to mangle the word a little bit. C.unt.


#71

BananaHands

BananaHands

So many bonerjams in this thread.


#72

Gared

Gared

Apparently there is one that I use, only when extremely frustrated, usually in regards to people who should be doing something much better than they're actually doing whatever it is that they're doing: whiny dick-fucks.


#73

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Snatch-Maggot


#74

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Any Marine would understand why when I want to rip on a soldier or ex-soldier, I call them a Ranger... :troll:


#75

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Leg.


#76

Jay

Jay



#77

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Fuck-waste. Both an obscenity, and a slight against their conception.


#78

Cajungal

Cajungal

I've never said this to a person, but I've thought, "You're not worth the breath it would take to tell you what a waste of life you are."


#79

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Cajungal that kinda reminds me of...



#80

Cajungal

Cajungal

HAH! I have... never heard that song before.


#81

PatrThom

PatrThom

I know there is a Hungarian curse (at least, it was told me by a Hungarian) that goes something like, "If only you had stayed in your father."

--Patrick


#82

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

PatrThom said:
I know there is a Hungarian curse (at least, it was told me by a Hungarian) that goes something like, "If only you had stayed in your father."

--Patrick
Click to expand...
Damn...that is an ultimate right there. Like, saying that a person is good only as minor protein. Damn.


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