Proposing? That's nothing! Time Ask Permission From Her Fathers!

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makare

stienman said:
be there for the surprise, and participate in the emotional visit with her father and mother. It's not an issue of ownership or control at all - it's merely the desire to be present for such an important announcement to the people you love.
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This is what I am thinking of. For me if I found out that I was the last to know I would be really upset. It would completely spoil the whole event for me.
 
strawman

strawman

makare said:
That's why they skipped the formalities.
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Day 1: Get engaged talk to parents
Day 2: Get license, get married, and boink like there was no tomorrow.
:hump:
Day 4: (What? I told you there was no tomorrow on day 2.)

Actually we got married and sealed in DC, which, IIRC, required a Maryland marraige license, and they require a long waiting period and blood tests and everything, so it was a little more lengthy than that. We got engaged next to the river on a log bench with a plaque that read, "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it" (Song of Solomon 8:7) in the snow and ice of a cold January winter. We sat down and talked playfully, and I pulled her hat over her eyes. When she pulled it back up, I was on my knees with the ring box open.

She took the ring box, turned it this way and that, and, finally peering into the lid, said, "Oh! There's a light in there!" Apparently she was more interested in why the diamond was so dazzling than the actual diamond or ring itself, since it wasn't a particularly sunny day. It was a simple band, and we later went to the jeweler to get an engagement and wedding ring set and have the diamond placed in it.

The light in the ring box is a source of continual amusement for us though.

Her brother was getting married that spring in May, and it was the only time she would be able to count on her entire family being there that year, so we asked them if they'd mind us doing a double wedding. He said we'd have to ask his fiance. She said it was ok, as long as they were done first.

So we were married in May with them at their arranged location. Mormon sealings and weddings are pretty simple, small affairs, and we had separate receptions back in Michigan - we had our reception after the honeymoon, which was in the mountains of Virginia.

13 years later she still puts up with me.
 
David

David

I'd heard once that you should only bother asking if she still lives with her parents because otherwise she's "her own woman." Reading through the thread though I can see the reasoning against that.
 
T

TheBrew

Well today is the day I ask the parents and next Monday will be her. Luckily she is working late tonight, so I won't have to come up with an excuse of why I was out.

Wish me luck!

P.S. I really do appreciate all of the advice, I had no one to talk to about this IRL as we are all very interconnected. Plus I do love surprises.
 
T

TheBrew

Well my plan didn't go as... planned, but it went well. My GF works for her step-dad as a fill-in (he is an optometrist), so she was working at his office until 8 last night. Which gave me cover to see her dad without her knowing. I went there and he invited me in. After we got into the living room, I just said "I am just going to cut to the chase: I am going to ask your daughter to marry me and it would mean a lot to get your blessing." I really couldn't do the small talk and I wanted to get it out of the way.

He was very happy to give his blessing! His wife was out walking the dog, so it actually worked out really well so that I could do this one at a time. We broke out the nice scotch and we had a drink to toast. His wife came in and we told her what had happened and she was thrilled. I actually brought the ring with me (which I had gotten earlier in the day) and she loved it! So I am feeling good about my choice.

I was planning to go to the step-dad's office and talk to him right after she left, but I ended up having dinner with her dad and step-mom, so I got back late and I really couldn't think of a good last minute excuse. All is not lost because I am going to just do the same thing after work today and just say I was held over at work as to why I am a bit late.

BTW: This is the pic of the ring; I had it made in Israel and got it in the post yesterday. Bathroom lighting doesn't do it justice.

 
T

TheBrew

What made me sure that I was doing the right thing is that as I was driving to her dad's house, I was strangely calm. My mind actually tried to psych myself out and I had to take a breath and realize that I was cool and not panicking, so why try to start?
 
T

TheBrew

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! "Fathers of the Bride"

The step dad went well; I brought him a gift of sangria cause he loves that stuff. I told him I bought it for him last month, but I actually got it last December as a gift and forgot about it. :p He a fairly anal-retentive guy, so I was worried a bit that he would say no because it is "too soon" or something or other. He did manage to keep me on edge for a few minutes before giving his blessing.

Of course, now I have to play it cool until Monday when I plan to propose.

Again, thank you to everyone in this thread. I really do appreciate all of the advice and an outlet.
 
T

TheBrew

Jay called me a man! :awesome:

I am also wondering why he isn't playing the TOR beta RIGHT NOW!
 
C

Chibibar

TheBrew said:
Jay called me a man! :awesome:

I am also wondering why he isn't playing the TOR beta RIGHT NOW!
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dude, he is multi-tasking. He was chatting with Shego while playing the game ;) (or was it loading hehe)

congrat man. Glad everything went according to plan.
 
T

TheBrew

Thanks!

CRS scripts are used to manage call center scripts for Cisco VOIP systems. It is those automated scripts that play for just about every company now when you call them "Welcome to BlahBlahBlah. Press 1 for..." The scripts we have here were created years ago and nobody working here actually knows how to write them anymore. There are some guides on the scripting editor, but they don't explain how the scripts work with the server and they miss some important steps on how variables are defined. So my team was tasked with editing a script yesterday and when I was looking over everything, I had an epiphany and everything clicked. So that was a minor victory for me and I wanted to post it in what has become my own little Minor Victory Thread.
 
T

TheBrew

Of course. It will be the time Taco Bell messed up my order and I ended up getting 6 Chalupas.
 
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