How weird...a post of mine from about 8 years ago seems to have resurfaced.
Seriously, good luck with that. I ended up just living with the hole in the ceiling.[/QUOTE]
Yup. She was a good neighbor like that. :eyebrows:
~The Tenant Upstairs
Rant V - The Drama Strikes Back
- Thread starter Cheesy1
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Seriously, good luck with that. I ended up just living with the hole in the ceiling.[/QUOTE]
Yup. She was a good neighbor like that. :eyebrows:
~The Tenant Upstairs
So.
Dated girl two years ago. Crashed and burned. Slowly. Very slowly. I declared that we should split up in November. She agreed. I've since discovered that she ALWAYS agrees. As long as things are hypothetical, or only in the planning stages, she'll agree. When it comes to action, well ... we finally split in January, and it was a goddamn mess.
Every so often, we've run into each-other and had conversations. It's been civil. We were very good friends before, and she is very special to me. A huge influence on my life. Important.
This September, we decided we'd be friends again. We got together for a movie about three weeks back, and it was fine. We discussed the fact that there was tension in the air. After we talked about tension, we ended up in my bed for five hours. Not doing anything heavy, but we pretended like it was okay. Neither of us wanted a relationship with each-other (I suspect she was lying ... as I said before, she agrees when things deal with non-realities) and we were both just lonely.
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was satisfied. Happy, even, for a day. Then, the next time we were together, she didn't want to do anything. No movies, no TV, no going out, no nothing. We cooked supper, and then essentially just ended up fooling around in bed again.
Same thing next time, minus the supper. And the next. And the next.
Finally, I realize that this is bad news. We've ended up in the same garbage relationship we had two years ago, and I didn't want that. I told her today that we need to dial things back. We can't hang out so frequently. Once every few weeks is enough. We also can't hang out so privately. We need to go to the mall, a movie, or something like that. Otherwise things get physical.
She 'doesn't understand.' We end up talking about it, and then she launches in to how she's going through a hard time right now, and she needs a good friend to be there for her. I told her I want to be her friend, but she needs other people in her life to lean on. I can't be her rock. She starts guilting me into being that rock, and yet she says she doesn't want me to be her rock, just her friend. I ask her how many other friends she's called tonight to talk about this stuff to. The obvious answer is zero. She stays silent.
I want to be her friend. But I can't be her only friend. I can't be her principal friend. Like I said, she is important to me, but I need to move on with my life. There is another relationship that I want to pursue, that could end in a healthy relationship for me. Maybe that sounds selfish, but she needs a life without Rob too.
Anyhow. During her weeping, she asked why I allowed us to grow so close in the last few weeks if I didn't want such a close friendship. I told her it's because I thought things would be different. Things are the same, and that's why they fail again. When she asks what needs to change, I decide to go with the harsh reality: "You need to mature."
Nobody likes hearing that. But I don't regret saying it. It's true. She's 21 years old, and the 'whole bunch of crap' she's going through in life right now? Her mother is out of town, and she's home alone for the first time in her life.
I wish she had a mentor who would tell her to go out and live. Get her own apartment. Go away for school. Do something to mature.
Maybe then we could really be friends, instead of me being the sole anchor for a rickety ship in a stormy sea.
And now I'm going to go cry. As true as it is that we need to be away from each other, it kills me that I'm hurting her.
Hugs plz?
Dated girl two years ago. Crashed and burned. Slowly. Very slowly. I declared that we should split up in November. She agreed. I've since discovered that she ALWAYS agrees. As long as things are hypothetical, or only in the planning stages, she'll agree. When it comes to action, well ... we finally split in January, and it was a goddamn mess.
Every so often, we've run into each-other and had conversations. It's been civil. We were very good friends before, and she is very special to me. A huge influence on my life. Important.
This September, we decided we'd be friends again. We got together for a movie about three weeks back, and it was fine. We discussed the fact that there was tension in the air. After we talked about tension, we ended up in my bed for five hours. Not doing anything heavy, but we pretended like it was okay. Neither of us wanted a relationship with each-other (I suspect she was lying ... as I said before, she agrees when things deal with non-realities) and we were both just lonely.
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was satisfied. Happy, even, for a day. Then, the next time we were together, she didn't want to do anything. No movies, no TV, no going out, no nothing. We cooked supper, and then essentially just ended up fooling around in bed again.
Same thing next time, minus the supper. And the next. And the next.
Finally, I realize that this is bad news. We've ended up in the same garbage relationship we had two years ago, and I didn't want that. I told her today that we need to dial things back. We can't hang out so frequently. Once every few weeks is enough. We also can't hang out so privately. We need to go to the mall, a movie, or something like that. Otherwise things get physical.
She 'doesn't understand.' We end up talking about it, and then she launches in to how she's going through a hard time right now, and she needs a good friend to be there for her. I told her I want to be her friend, but she needs other people in her life to lean on. I can't be her rock. She starts guilting me into being that rock, and yet she says she doesn't want me to be her rock, just her friend. I ask her how many other friends she's called tonight to talk about this stuff to. The obvious answer is zero. She stays silent.
I want to be her friend. But I can't be her only friend. I can't be her principal friend. Like I said, she is important to me, but I need to move on with my life. There is another relationship that I want to pursue, that could end in a healthy relationship for me. Maybe that sounds selfish, but she needs a life without Rob too.
Anyhow. During her weeping, she asked why I allowed us to grow so close in the last few weeks if I didn't want such a close friendship. I told her it's because I thought things would be different. Things are the same, and that's why they fail again. When she asks what needs to change, I decide to go with the harsh reality: "You need to mature."
Nobody likes hearing that. But I don't regret saying it. It's true. She's 21 years old, and the 'whole bunch of crap' she's going through in life right now? Her mother is out of town, and she's home alone for the first time in her life.
I wish she had a mentor who would tell her to go out and live. Get her own apartment. Go away for school. Do something to mature.
Maybe then we could really be friends, instead of me being the sole anchor for a rickety ship in a stormy sea.
And now I'm going to go cry. As true as it is that we need to be away from each other, it kills me that I'm hurting her.
Hugs plz?
W
Wasabi Poptart
Rob - What you did was a whole lot better than stringing her along or holding out for something to change. It sucks to hurt someone you care about, but sometimes it is unavoidable.
*hugs*
*hugs*
It couldn't have been easy, Rob, but it sounds like you did what was best for both of you. You can be comfortable and she can (hopefully) move on.
S
Silvanesti
This is the step by step breakdown of a totally fucking incompetent landlord
First there was water dripping:
Which caused a small hole and large crack to appear:
Which, when left alone with more water, allowed that hole and crack to get bigger:
Eventually the entire fucking area collapses.
The entire time I was calling once a day over the course of two weeks. The fucking asshole did nothing.
Awesome.
First there was water dripping:
Which caused a small hole and large crack to appear:
Which, when left alone with more water, allowed that hole and crack to get bigger:
Eventually the entire fucking area collapses.
The entire time I was calling once a day over the course of two weeks. The fucking asshole did nothing.
Awesome.
I hate to say it, but she'll be okay.
You did what was right for both you and her. She's really young and she will get over you and move on to other guys. (Or girls.) If she's really smart, she'll learn something from what you told her -- if not now, then eventually.
I was in almost the exact same boat when I broke up with the guy I was dating, after I met Mr. ZM. I had already been planning to break up with him and the reason was simple: I was his "one," but he was not mine. And he was only 24 at the time, mature in some ways but not in others, and similarly I was kind of his only friend and lifeline.
When we broke up he took it really fucking hard, so I understand where you are right now. But eventually he made a much better life for himself, developing new hobbies and making friends, which he never bothered to do when we were together even though after the first six months or so it was long distance.
Is it better to hurt her now, or further along when things are more serious? You really did the right thing, and extra points for being so honest with her. I could have used a break-up like that in my early 20s where someone told me what I was doing wrong. And I don't mean to sound heartless towards her; it just sounds so much like this is the best for both of you.
Dear chucklefucks a few balconies over, thanks for spending 3:30-4:30 or longer laughing like coke-addled hyenas. I didn't want a good night's sleep anyway.
So, apparently they sent home a notice that today was picture day at my daughter's school. I say "apparently" because my daughter was home sick with strep throat yesterday. So I get an email this morning letting me know this (real helpful, guys - thanks), and now I'm stressed because this is the second year in a row she went in on picture day without wearing the outfit we specifically bought for picture day. Last year I ran the outfit to school and had her change. This year, I think we're going for the retakes.
. You did the right thing, really.
Ugh. School pictures. We did them a few times in the past, but it was just too expensive to do it every year for every kid.
We finally did family portraits last year at Olin Mills in Kmart, and got THE BEST PHOTOGRAPHER IN THE WORLD. She must have been, because not only were the kids tired and hungry, but the photos were perfect. She got them to smile naturally, pose, etc.
It was cheap compared to school photos, we got more than enough individual shots of the kids (rather than assembly line photography by amateurs at school), and we got the right to reproduce the photos (they came on CD in full resolution).
So yeah, when school called today to remind us, "We haven't received your picture orders..." we said, "That's true, you haven't. Don't hold your breath."
It's great that the school makes a bit of money off this, no school has too much money, but I'm not paying THAT much for such low quality portraits.
Also, rant rant rant about work: If you want me to generate the correct data, you've got to give me the inputs first. If you give me the wrong file, of course I'm going to generate the wrong data and no, I can't go back in time and generate the data by the end of today with the correct inputs. If you're wasting time in an expensive testing lab, I feel sorry that you are suffering due to your poor execution of your job.
Blech.
-Adam
S
Silvanesti
No idea. I was pissed about the little hole (about 3 inches or so) now that the entire area is fucked I can't even use my shower now.
Best of all the fucking prick doesn't seem particuallarly worried "Oh if i can't fix it then i guess I'll call a plumber"
Awesome, yeah, good idea to wait off on calling the guy that could fix it right away.
You know ... this might sound narcissistic, but I want to get a portrait done of myself now. I haven't gotten a studio photograph of myself since my high school grad (4 years ago now), and if I ever get a personal website up, it might be nice to put up a picture NOT taken by a camera-phone ...
W
Wasabi Poptart
Dear Discover Card:
FUCK YOU! You're raising your rate to nearly 30% plus prime when the account holder has an excellent credit/FICO score, a low balance, and makes his payments on time? You can jam that credit card in your bunghole, douchebags.
Oh and, just for good measure, fuck you.
FUCK YOU! You're raising your rate to nearly 30% plus prime when the account holder has an excellent credit/FICO score, a low balance, and makes his payments on time? You can jam that credit card in your bunghole, douchebags.
Oh and, just for good measure, fuck you.
I just honestly, seriously, don't understand this odd thing about credit cards wherever you people live. I have a VISA, it charges me next to nothing, it's free. I mostly just use it for cash withdrawals abroad, in restaurants, and for on line payments, and it's well worth it. Just...Come on! Keep track of what you have, what you spend, and pay everything in your mind when you pay it, not when the bill "suddenly" comes. I don't get how intelligent, careful, etc people can end up in credit troubel without outside influence. (Mind this last bit. I can absolutely understand being the picture perfect example of great accounting and suddenly landing in deep shit due to unexpected costs. Totaled cars, high medical bills, whatever.)
Oh well.
Oh well.
Thanks for the lecture but you may have noticed both Frau VildSoul and myself talked about getting screwed despite GOOD credit practices. It's called "fallout from the U.S. economy nosedive."
W
Wasabi Poptart
Thanks for the lecture but you may have noticed both Frau VildSoul and myself talked about getting screwed despite GOOD credit practices. It's called "fallout from the U.S. economy nosedive."[/QUOTE]
Exactly. My husband and I both have excellent credit scores. It was his card before we were married. He has never made a late payment. He has always kept a small balance which he has paid a little more than the minimum payment on each month. There is nothing wrong with how he has handled his account. The credit card company has raised their interest rates regardless because they are trying to recoup their losses from people who have defaulted on their accounts and eliminate small-time customers like us because we don't make the institution enough money.
Every time the CC companies do that, my wife gets on the phone, reads them the riot act, and they reduce the interest rate.
However, it wasn't until this year that we finally paid off all our credit cards, and only have mortgage/education/vehicle debt.
But yes, in general the CC companies are evil.
Keep in mind that when they say they are hurting by the economy, they are lying through their teeth. Between retail fees (1-3% + $0.35 per transaction, and they do millions of transactions daily) and interest rates they charge customers, nothing but an apocalypse can cause them to hurt, even if half their customers default.
Like many other businesses they are taking advantage of the 'economic climate' to introduce changes that will only make them more profitable, but would be unpopular if done at any other time.
-Adam
However, it wasn't until this year that we finally paid off all our credit cards, and only have mortgage/education/vehicle debt.
But yes, in general the CC companies are evil.
Keep in mind that when they say they are hurting by the economy, they are lying through their teeth. Between retail fees (1-3% + $0.35 per transaction, and they do millions of transactions daily) and interest rates they charge customers, nothing but an apocalypse can cause them to hurt, even if half their customers default.
Like many other businesses they are taking advantage of the 'economic climate' to introduce changes that will only make them more profitable, but would be unpopular if done at any other time.
-Adam
You guys made me go check my credit card interest rate! Whew. I'm not getting screwed. You had me worried, though. Really.
It's a good time to check. As far as I can tell they are almost randomly jacking up interest rates to obscene levels, hoping customers won't notice (and I bet many don't).
-Adam
I can't really talk about what I'm angry about just in case someone tracks me to this forum, however unlikely that may be, but FUCK am I angry.
W
Wasabi Poptart
I usually do that, too. Earlier in the year I got a notice from my credit card company saying they were raising my credit limit. I didn't need such a high limit and had planned to call them to ask to have to put back to my normal limit. I procrastinated. A few weeks later, I got a notice that they were raising the interest rate to 15% plus prime. The letter said to call their 800 number if you wanted to refuse the new rate and close the account. So I called. I told the representative that as a long-standing customer whose account has always been in good order I should not have to pay such a high rate especially since my credit limit was just raised considerably. I was told I was welcome to close my account if I felt the rate was unfair. So I did.
Thanks for the lecture but you may have noticed both Frau VildSoul and myself talked about getting screwed despite GOOD credit practices. It's called "fallout from the U.S. economy nosedive."[/QUOTE]
Exactly. My husband and I both have excellent credit scores. It was his card before we were married. He has never made a late payment. He has always kept a small balance which he has paid a little more than the minimum payment on each month. There is nothing wrong with how he has handled his account. The credit card company has raised their interest rates regardless because they are trying to recoup their losses from people who have defaulted on their accounts and eliminate small-time customers like us because we don't make the institution enough money.[/QUOTE]
And you may be interpreting something as being directed towards you that totally wasn't. Just a small possibility, of course.
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