C
Chazwozel
Well then put the cheeseburger down, baloney tits.
Rant VI: Now Drama Free
- Thread starter Dave
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C
Chazwozel
C
Chazwozel
I find breasted men fascinating. What can I say?
C
Chazwozel
Ha! Big moosie!
W
Wasabi Poptart
Here's an idea...[/QUOTE]
Drifter - your post got me thinking about how to fix this with what we have in the house. We don't have a heat gun or torch, so while I like your idea I couldn't implement it. However, tying one side of the gate we have to the railing using a stretchy Ace bandage seems to have done the trick for now. Babby is currently pissed at Mama. lmao[/QUOTE]
:thumb:
She broke it off because she hadn't fallen in love. She talked about it like she was expecting a Ryan Reynolds/Sandra Bollock moment where we would kiss and she'd be in love. Like waiting for a lightning strike or something.
I wasn't in love either, but you know what? I was getting there. I had opened up. I had let myself be vulnerable with her. I had committed myself to the idea of being with her, and I was getting there.
What is it with this bullshit notion of magical love, anyhow? I don't think I've ever heard a happily married couple talk about the day that cupid's arrow landed and everything was good from there on out. There is a reason the divorce rate is so high, and it's because this stupid romance-novel drenched culture has no idea what the fuck it's talking about. And any other day of the week I wouldn't be bold enough to say that. Who the hell am I to raise a fist against half a billion english-speakers and tell them that all of their notions of love are wrong.
I like the Hebrew concept better. Song of Songs is a book from the bible, but even if you don't believe in God, maybe you'll acknowledge that they've got something right. There are three words which get translated as 'love' in that book: Raya, Ahava, and Dod.
Raya is a companionship love. Really good friends have this love. Gwyn and I had it.
Dod is the physical/sexual love. It sometimes gets translated as 'caress' or 'fondle.' I'm pretty sure Gwyn and I had it. I sure as hell had it for her, and she said she had it for me, but now I don't quite know.
Ahava is that commitment to, and yearning for. It's the love that the Hebrews believed that you should have for God, and for your wife. But it wasn't just a feeling. It's a choice. You choose the committment, and you begin to feel yearning for over time. This is the part that Gwyn didn't have, I'm sure of it. And I wish I could tell her that she could have had it: that it's a choice. But she wouldn't hear it. I mean, who would? I'm sure most of you forumites even think that bit is bullcrap.
She's not going to change her mind. It took everything in me not to march over to her house and plead with her today. I deleted her number from my phone. I hid her from my facebook newsfeed. I called a friend and had them talk me down from going over there. I needed to know that going over there and pleading my case would be a bad idea. Part of me doesn't care, though. I feel like I should be fighting for this. I realize I might regret it if I plead for it, but I'm afraid I'll regret it more if I don't.
I do not break up well. It only just occurred to me that I haven't eaten all day. I went to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon, and basically haven't moved except to try and numb myself with episodes of Scrubs, and to check my email hoping that she had sent me a message apologizing and admitting that she didn't try: that realized that she wasn't letting herself fall in love by keeping her heart locked away from me.
I've had five dreams about her in the two nights since she ended it.
Jesus, this is such bullshit. And I can't even take it like a man.
I wasn't in love either, but you know what? I was getting there. I had opened up. I had let myself be vulnerable with her. I had committed myself to the idea of being with her, and I was getting there.
What is it with this bullshit notion of magical love, anyhow? I don't think I've ever heard a happily married couple talk about the day that cupid's arrow landed and everything was good from there on out. There is a reason the divorce rate is so high, and it's because this stupid romance-novel drenched culture has no idea what the fuck it's talking about. And any other day of the week I wouldn't be bold enough to say that. Who the hell am I to raise a fist against half a billion english-speakers and tell them that all of their notions of love are wrong.
I like the Hebrew concept better. Song of Songs is a book from the bible, but even if you don't believe in God, maybe you'll acknowledge that they've got something right. There are three words which get translated as 'love' in that book: Raya, Ahava, and Dod.
Raya is a companionship love. Really good friends have this love. Gwyn and I had it.
Dod is the physical/sexual love. It sometimes gets translated as 'caress' or 'fondle.' I'm pretty sure Gwyn and I had it. I sure as hell had it for her, and she said she had it for me, but now I don't quite know.
Ahava is that commitment to, and yearning for. It's the love that the Hebrews believed that you should have for God, and for your wife. But it wasn't just a feeling. It's a choice. You choose the committment, and you begin to feel yearning for over time. This is the part that Gwyn didn't have, I'm sure of it. And I wish I could tell her that she could have had it: that it's a choice. But she wouldn't hear it. I mean, who would? I'm sure most of you forumites even think that bit is bullcrap.
She's not going to change her mind. It took everything in me not to march over to her house and plead with her today. I deleted her number from my phone. I hid her from my facebook newsfeed. I called a friend and had them talk me down from going over there. I needed to know that going over there and pleading my case would be a bad idea. Part of me doesn't care, though. I feel like I should be fighting for this. I realize I might regret it if I plead for it, but I'm afraid I'll regret it more if I don't.
I do not break up well. It only just occurred to me that I haven't eaten all day. I went to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon, and basically haven't moved except to try and numb myself with episodes of Scrubs, and to check my email hoping that she had sent me a message apologizing and admitting that she didn't try: that realized that she wasn't letting herself fall in love by keeping her heart locked away from me.
I've had five dreams about her in the two nights since she ended it.
Jesus, this is such bullshit. And I can't even take it like a man.
Cajungal
Staff member
You'll get there. There's no shame in hurting over something that was such a big part of your life. I think there's something to the whole "different types of love" thing. And I definitely believe that people have strange and disproportionate ideas about romantic love. You seem like the sort of guy who's also read The Four Loves. Whether or not she believed in that sort of commitment choice, however, the fact is that even though she could have chosen that... well that's just the thing. You shouldn't choose it unless you really want to. I hate to sound callous, but in the end you don't want someone who doesn't want to make that choice for you. I believe that, even though real love isn't the bubbly, absolutely perfect thing you see in movies, committing is something you do because you wholeheartedly want to, even if it's hard, and even if you're afraid of all the challenges you'll face. If she doesn't want that, it's better that you're not being strung along. I'm so sorry that it hurts so much. But you're a sweet person, and I'm sure there's more in store for you. Try to keep busy and away from the phone. :hug:
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Wasabi Poptart
But as we all know, "really good friends" does not necessarily mean that you are compatible in romantic love. There is a difference. And if she wasn't feeling it, then there isn't much you can do to explain yourself or plead your case.
Personally, I like Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. You might want to take a look at it.
I'm really sorry you're going through this, Rob. Breaking up really stinks especially when you think there could be a future there.
Thanks, guys. I feel like such a burden on some of my irl friends, I just needed to shout it out at the internet, you know? Somewhere where our mutual friends (or her herself) won't see it. There will probably be more in the coming days, I'm sure.
And I realize that really good friends doesn't necessarily mean romantic love. But romantic love, I believe, does need an intense friendship as a part of it. I know she had feelings for me. I just guess they weren't the right ones.
I looked up the Triangular Theory of Love, and it's interesting. I'm not sure where Gwyn and I were. I think it must have stared out as Infatuated love, moving into Romantic love, and then falling back into friendship/intimacy. The problem is that on each step of the way there wasn't very much of whatever was going on. There wasn't a whole lot of intimacy going on, because she just wouldn't open up and let me in. And there wasn't a whole lot of passion, either because she didn't think of me in a sexual way, or because she was a bit closed off in that sense. I'm not quite sure.
It's all moot anyhow. Maybe reviewing the black box is a bad idea for me right now. All it's doing is causing me to re-live the crash.
And I realize that really good friends doesn't necessarily mean romantic love. But romantic love, I believe, does need an intense friendship as a part of it. I know she had feelings for me. I just guess they weren't the right ones.
I looked up the Triangular Theory of Love, and it's interesting. I'm not sure where Gwyn and I were. I think it must have stared out as Infatuated love, moving into Romantic love, and then falling back into friendship/intimacy. The problem is that on each step of the way there wasn't very much of whatever was going on. There wasn't a whole lot of intimacy going on, because she just wouldn't open up and let me in. And there wasn't a whole lot of passion, either because she didn't think of me in a sexual way, or because she was a bit closed off in that sense. I'm not quite sure.
It's all moot anyhow. Maybe reviewing the black box is a bad idea for me right now. All it's doing is causing me to re-live the crash.
There should be an "Epic fail" thread (is there?)
I would be kind of the queen of that thread ; _ ;
I got quite drunk yesterday, I met with 2 friends and 2 other girls I didn't know, at some point, one of my friends said: "Oh, do you know @____?"
and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "oh yes, he has such a pretty penis!"
x 10
As drunk as I was I realized how stupid I had been, ugh, it was embarrassing and it's STILL embarrassing!!
man...
I would be kind of the queen of that thread ; _ ;
I got quite drunk yesterday, I met with 2 friends and 2 other girls I didn't know, at some point, one of my friends said: "Oh, do you know @____?"
and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "oh yes, he has such a pretty penis!"
x 10As drunk as I was I realized how stupid I had been, ugh, it was embarrassing and it's STILL embarrassing!!
man...
Thakns for all the concern and advice guys. In retrospect I was being quite stupid. My sister had said something hurtful about my weight and this some how caused me to lose a dangerous amount of brain cells.
I'm taking it easier now. I've started walking with the baby and I'm keeping clser track of what I'm eating using MyPlate. Also trying to pick up yoga.
I will not kill myself again!
I'm taking it easier now. I've started walking with the baby and I'm keeping clser track of what I'm eating using MyPlate. Also trying to pick up yoga.
I will not kill myself again!
Cajungal
Staff member
I just started doing yoga and I highly recommend it! It's really fun and revitalizing. I just joined this channel on youtube. She's got great beginner's videos.
http://www.youtube.com/user/yogatic
Let me know how you like it if you try it.
http://www.youtube.com/user/yogatic
Let me know how you like it if you try it.
figmentPez
Staff member
I think some other posters could give you a run for your money... like me.
We almost poisoned a dinner guest tonight. We had my sister's co-worker's over for dinner tonight, and one of them is allergic to onions. At the last minute we realized we didn't have any appetizers, so we put out a bowl of nuts and some chips and guacamole. Yeah, there's onions in that last one. Thankfully she didn't have a reaction.
Rob I am in a similar situation. Except I feel like your lady friend. I really like this woman that I've been seeing lately. But I just do not desire her. So I may get to be a complete ass and dump her when she gets back from vacation.
---------- Post added at 03:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:30 PM ----------
I gained a room mate last night. My best friend may be leaving his wife. I'll be housing him until he decides what to do.
---------- Post added at 03:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:30 PM ----------
I gained a room mate last night. My best friend may be leaving his wife. I'll be housing him until he decides what to do.
C
Chazwozel
Thakns for all the concern and advice guys. In retrospect I was being quite stupid. My sister had said something hurtful about my weight and this some how caused me to lose a dangerous amount of brain cells.
I'm taking it easier now. I've started walking with the baby and I'm keeping clser track of what I'm eating using MyPlate. Also trying to pick up yoga.
I will not kill myself again!
The only thing "panic" workouts and exercise do is make you hate workouts and exercise. You got the idea. Baby steps all the way! Make sure you get into the yoga at your own pace too. You don't want to be doing stretches that will tear muscles that aren't ready to move into certain positions yet.
Everything with exercise is a series of gradual increases until you hit a wall. Hitting the wall is a point where you have to push yourself over and beyond your comfort zone, but first and foremost, you have to develop a routine (an enjoyable one) and stick to it. Set a specific time when you and Jet go for a walk everyday (after dinner is a great time!). Try to get your husband involved too. Couples that workout together have a personal motivator and workout buddy.
M
makare
Robs ordeal reminded me that today I encountered an example of what I consider to be "real" love. This big biker guy pulled up on his harley outside the camp entrance booth. I went out to talk to him and see if he needed a camp sticker or whatever. He told me that he and his wife were camping later and their camper was already out there. But the temperature was going up and he wanted her to be comfortable so he came out to turn on the air. That's love. This guy drove all the way out of town just to turn on the ac so his wife is comfortable. It was really sweet.
I would like to kindly request that the portion of my professional certification board that is responsible for reviewing education and credentials for initial certification please gather at the end of the nearest pier and collectively jump.
I got rejected for the first part of certification process today because they decided to interpret the rules differently than last year - not change the rules, no no, it's not a change, they're verbatim from last year - just change the interpretation. So my friend and colleague who applied last year was accepted and I, who applied this year, was just denied. We have the EXACT SAME DEGREE from the EXACT SAME COLLEGE with the EXACT SAME WORK EXPERIENCE.
Now I have to find some way to get nine postgraduate credit hours by December AND hold down a 50-hour-per-week job. Oh, and there are no medical physics programs within 150 miles of here. Oh, and if I don't get this done this year, the door with be closed to me forever unless I go back to school for an entirely new MS from a "properly" accredited program. Oh, and new laws are coming on board requiring that if I want to keep my job I get certified BY THIS BOARD ALONE.
I love my work, but damn, I sometimes wonder if it's worth all the bureaucratic shit.
I got rejected for the first part of certification process today because they decided to interpret the rules differently than last year - not change the rules, no no, it's not a change, they're verbatim from last year - just change the interpretation. So my friend and colleague who applied last year was accepted and I, who applied this year, was just denied. We have the EXACT SAME DEGREE from the EXACT SAME COLLEGE with the EXACT SAME WORK EXPERIENCE.
Now I have to find some way to get nine postgraduate credit hours by December AND hold down a 50-hour-per-week job. Oh, and there are no medical physics programs within 150 miles of here. Oh, and if I don't get this done this year, the door with be closed to me forever unless I go back to school for an entirely new MS from a "properly" accredited program. Oh, and new laws are coming on board requiring that if I want to keep my job I get certified BY THIS BOARD ALONE.
I love my work, but damn, I sometimes wonder if it's worth all the bureaucratic shit.
I'm sorry. I hope it works out for you.
C
Chazwozel
At the same time, his wife might have been a total bitch and have him completely whipped so after whining for about 3 hours about how the camper was going to be too hot, he hit the road on his motorcycle so he could have at least an hour's worth of peace and quiet before he had to return to the hell on Earth that is his marriage.
Just sayin...
M
makare
His wife wasn't even at the camper yet she was coming out later. That was why he came out early, before she arrived, to turn it on for her.
I am not the least bit surprised that you would interpret everything in the most negative possible way.
I am not the least bit surprised that you would interpret everything in the most negative possible way.
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Chazwozel
Maybe by comfortable, he meant that she'd shut the hell up enough for him to sneak out and go fishing by himself?
Maybe by comfortable, he meant that she'd shut the hell up enough for him to sneak out and go fishing by himself?[/QUOTE]
Maybe you're projecting?
C
Chazwozel
Maybe by comfortable, he meant that she'd shut the hell up enough for him to sneak out and go fishing by himself?[/QUOTE]
Maybe you're projecting?[/QUOTE]
I was just joking around until Mrs. DebbieDowner took it seriously.
Maybe by comfortable, he meant that she'd shut the hell up enough for him to sneak out and go fishing by himself?[/QUOTE]
Maybe you're projecting?[/QUOTE]
I was just joking around until Mrs. DebbieDowner took it seriously.[/QUOTE]
I don't know who that is.
C
Chazwozel
Maybe by comfortable, he meant that she'd shut the hell up enough for him to sneak out and go fishing by himself?[/QUOTE]
Maybe you're projecting?[/QUOTE]
I was just joking around until Mrs. DebbieDowner took it seriously.[/QUOTE]
I don't know who that is.[/QUOTE]
It means that Makare is PMSing over nothing. As usual.
More projection?
C
Chazwozel
More projection?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, your mom is being a total bitch lately.
More projection?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, your mom is being a total bitch lately.[/QUOTE]
Hm, I'll have to call her up. She's usually so sweet.
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