Sooooo.... there's this girl at work and I have a dilemma

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Wow, I really went for the throat in that thread. That probably wasn't appropriate, but I still think that girl dodged a mortar shell.

I wonder if he's an incel now. That "I'll never be good enough" mentality is where it starts. Hopefully not. That was seven years ago and people can change a lot in even less time.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Hailey Zero Mission said:
Wow, I really went for the throat in that thread. That probably wasn't appropriate, but I still think that girl dodged a mortar shell.

I wonder if he's an incel now. That "I'll never be good enough" mentality is where it starts. Hopefully not. That was seven years ago and people can change a lot in even less time.
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I have a friend I used to work with at Blockbuster in Toronto. He was always hard on himself and never thought he was good enough for women. You know, like me, but to the nth degree.

He posted something on Facebook a few years ago basically blaming women for not seeing him. Fortunately, SO MANY people - many of whom were women - jumped on it and were like, "Dude, no." Don't know if it was enough to change his mind.

But yeah, I honestly hope Norris is in a better place these days.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

I think @fade wrote the appropriate summary: "Guys, I need advice, but DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!".

Seriously, though, I hope he got over his fear of therapy and found someone to talk to.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

ThatNickGuy said:
I have a friend I used to work with at Blockbuster in Toronto. He was always hard on himself and never thought he was good enough for women. You know, like me, but to the nth degree.

He posted something on Facebook a few years ago basically blaming women for not seeing him. Fortunately, SO MANY people - many of whom were women - jumped on it and were like, "Dude, no." Don't know if it was enough to change his mind.

But yeah, I honestly hope Norris is in a better place these days.
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As a proto-incel, I can definitely say that it's easy to fall into this vicious cycle. Have no confidence to approach women -> don't get a girlfriend -> see other guys, possibly "inferior" guys, in relationships -> damage confidence further -> end up alone as a bitter, lonely, creepy guy.

And once again I must thank my wife for being into bitter, lonely, creepy guys.
 
Dei

Dei

Honestly, based on what we know of incel culture now, I feel like therapy was actually a very legitimate recommendation, no matter how much it's a meme now. :p
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Dei said:
Honestly, based on what we know of incel culture now, I feel like therapy was actually a very legitimate recommendation, no matter how much it's a meme now. :p
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I was completely genuine back then when I pushed him to get help. It was aggravating how he'd take any advice or suggestions and twist it into a negative.

(To be fair, I still do that, myself. Especially when it comes to my "achievements" like getting published.)
 
IronBrig4

IronBrig4

If it hadn't been for some friends calling me out and my own sharpening self-awareness, I could have gone down the incel route about 10 years ago. I used to think that a girl owed me affection if I was nice enough (dating, not sex). It took me a while to realize that nobody owed me anything and that continuing down that path would guarantee that I'd end up alone and bitter.

I'm still insecure, clingy, and codependent. But I've improved with time and those are manageable flaws. Incel culture is filled with not just resentment and bitterness, but absolute rage against women who aren't submitting themselves to these pasty, pimply dweebs.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Hmm...I...was a bit of a hypocrite considering how I argued with my own advice in my help thread about my marriage. Guess the shoe was on the other foot.

(Though to be fair, that mostly boils down to disguised jumping to my wife's defense, since I suddenly felt guilty about some of the things I said)
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Anonymous said:
Ages in question: 39 to 22
Direct supervisor: No, not really. Not on paper but it's enough just the hourly/salary thing.
And, yeah, this was most definitely a date.
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NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO OH GOD NO!!!!

Bruh, I had a similar experience (that thankfully went nowhere). I'm rounding 40 in a few years, but was 33ish at the time. Incredibly hot, fun, smart 22 year old, fresh out of college started working in my group.

Long story short -we totally click on every level. Go out a few times after work with other people from work (happy hour). I'm thinking to myself that my marriage is going to be over at this point; I'm totally going to end up not being in control and cheating on my wife and fucking up my family. I don't know how I ended up telling myself this was a pure ego thing where I was attempting to see if "I still got it", but I did.

She made a move and told me she was falling for me. I told her that despite having a massive crush on her, I realized after objectively assessing the situation, it was just a crush and I love my wife and family. She was literally over me in a week. Once I stopped with the goo-goo eyes, it slowly started coming out that she was in fact, still an immature kid. She banged like 3 dudes around work and was not shy about dropping me details about the events, there were issues with her and other female co-workers, her workplace demeanor was very unprofessional.
 
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