A Minecraft Movie (2025)
Just got back from seeing this at a matinée with the fam. This movie wastes no time, throwing you into Steve's story
immediately and lays out what would've otherwise been an entire prequel within the first 10min or so, even throwing in a bit of a
Close Encounters reference. As seen in the trailers™, Steve enters into the Overworld, develops his skillz, and then gets trapped there after getting "tricked" into opening a portal to the Nether. The fabulous foursome gets pulled in some years later (but not until after we get some short vignettes that set up each of their characters). There is a side plot involving Jennifer Coolidge's character, but that's not important right now.
Garrett and Henry and Natalie and Dawn get caught up in Steve's postponed struggle to keep the Orb of Dominance (seen here transmuted from its usual pink lemonade Starburst color into the movie's more cinema-friendly glowing cyan hue) out of the hands of the film's antagonist (voiced by Rachel House doing her best to channel Suzanne Pleshette's Zira) through a series of rational-thought-defying This-Movie-Is-Definitely-Not-
Jumanji-We-Swear-esque adventures, stunts, and cameos. The boys and girls get separated for a while, but the isolation helps them to each work out some of their issues, with Natalie discovering some talents she didn't know she had, and Steve and Garrett getting out of a tight spot by putting their heads between each others legs and squeezing until they both smell like gorgonzola cheese...and I
swear I am not making that up.
Throughout the movie, we meet skeletons, creepers, skeleton jockeys, chicken jockeys, villagers, illagers, piglins, iron golems, zombified piglins, pandas, sheep, chickens, llamas, wolves, and ghasts (sorta). We get to see a little redstone action, and we even get another movie-exclusive mob or two thanks to the Rule of Cool. The actors do the right thing and never take themselves seriously, by which I mean that they play every moment (yes, even the Scooby-Doo-ish Sax-A-Boom bit) completely straight and in-character regardless of how ridiculous their character might be acting. This is to be expected of Jack Black and Jason Momoa, but it goes double for Jennifer Coolidge. The animation and pixilation are absolutely
top-notch, which you would expect when you sign Wētā Workshop to do your film.
This movie is incredibly silly and at times formulaic and an incessant by-the-numbers stream of tropes...and yet none of that detracts at all from just how FUN it is. I'm not kidding. For me, watching this movie was a bit like watching
the Katamari Damacy intro--it's a level of silly that transcends silliness and lets you know that the best way to enjoy what you're about to experience is to just let it all wash over you and not to try and think about it too hard. If you can do that, let yourself go and just soak up the movie, you won't care about plot holes, you won't care about whether it deviates from canon or actual game mechanics, you'll just leave the movie (and credits) with a big, stupid smile on your face.
Also Dennis should've gotten a credit under "Best Boy."
--Patrick